Pamela Anderson Visits The Tonight Show 12/19

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Postby admin » Tue Dec 20, 2005 3:44 am

>> Jay: All righty. My first guest is the star of "stacked," which airs wednesday night on another network. You know, she spreads holiday cheer wherever she goes. That's why she's here tonight. Please welcome pamela anderson, ladies and gentlemen.

[ Cheers and applause ]

>> Hi.

>> Jay: Well, mrs. Claus, nice to see you.

>> Hi. How are you?

>> Jay: I see why santa only works one day a year.

[ Laughter ]

>> I thought you'd be wearing red today, too.

>> Jay: I am, but they're underpants.

[ Light laughter ]

>> You're wearing red underpants?

>> Jay: Yes, I am.

>> Okay.

>> Jay: But you look very pretty. Thank you for doing this whole christmas thing.

>> You can't talk me out of a a good time.

>> Jay: Exactly.

>> Exactly.

>> Jay: Now, you brought gifts, I understand.

>> I did. I brought gifts. Can we start with you?

>> Jay: All right.

>> You've been naughty or nice? You've been naughty, but I'll give you somethg anyway.

>> Jay: All right. Okay.

>> That's part of my charm.

[ Light laughter ] Anyway, okay, let me see.

>> Jay: Whh one is that?

>> In the spirit of the holidays, I'm gonna rip up the restraining order I took out against you.

>> Jay: Oh, all right.

[ Laughter ] And I appreciate that. Thank you very much.

[ Cheers and applause ]

>> I've had a few of these before.

>> Jay: I appreciate that. Let bygones be bygones.

>> Let bygones be bygones. Things, I didn't know what I was doing. What else do you have?

>> And we have a hand for you. Ve him a hand. No, that's not it.

[ Cheers and applause ] No, no, no. It's not a joke. No. Actually, because you've been sick, I hear that you get -- you're getting cooties from the audience, little germs.

>> Jay: Oh, I see. So when I go out, I would just kinda go out and do this.

>> Here, take my rubber hand. Hi. See, and I didn't get sick.

>> Jay: Right, very good.

>> See? That was very good. That worked out good.

[ Cheers and applause ] See?

>> Jay: Very nice. Well, thank you.

>> And then, oh, this is my favorite one I got you a wool knit hat for the winter. Stripe.

[ Laughter ] You got to wear it, though. I knitted it myself. Isn't that go?

[ Cheers and applause ]

>> Jay: And then, to move -- I see, yes.

>> You can move it with the stripe.

>> Jay: I see. You know, this is very thoughtful. Did you bring something for -- have you got something for --

>> Oh, yes. Oh, yeah. Wait. Okay, who's next? Oh, hn. Hi, there you are. Okay, I got something for you. Yeah. Here it is. Okay. John, here's a stool so you'll look taller.

>> John: Oh, please.

[ Laughter ]

>> Jay: Try it on. There you are.

[ Applause ]

>> Also, I can't believe I'm doing this. There you go.

>> John: Thank you.

>> Okay. Also, I got you a few of my "playboys," because I heard you wore the other ones out.

[ Laughter ]

>> John: You talked to my wife.

>> Jay: Lovely. Isn't that nice? And you have something for kevin, I understand?

>> Yes, I have something for kevin. Oh, yes, I kind of like this one, actually.

>> Kevin: Oh, yeah.

>> I know he's an eagles fan, so we got him a number that says, "we used to be number one."

[ Audience oohs ]

>> Jay: Oh, isn't that nice?

>> Kevin: Thank you, pam. Thank you.

>> And, and! This is good, this is good. You and my brother both like to grow plants.

>> Kevin: Yeah.

[ Laughter ]

>> So I brought you a watering can and some miracle-gro, you know, all-purpose fertilizer.

>> Kevin: Aren't you a dear?

>> Because I heard you like plants. Plants.

>> Kevin: Well, thank you.

[ Cheers and applause ]

>> Jay: Lovely.

>> Kevin: You're so thoughtful, pam. You're so thoughtful.

>> Anyway.

>> Jay: Kev needs a lot of light bulbs, 'cause he grows them indoors. Isn't that right, kev?

[ Laughter ]

>> I didn't want to be too obvious.

>> Jay: Now, let me ask you about your kids. Are you excited about christmas? I know they're 7 and 6, right?

>> I'm going to wear this for the rest of the holidays.

>> Jay: Really?

Yeah. No, my kids are so excited about the holidays. Ey're 7 and 9.

>> Jay: 7 and 9. I'm sorry, okay.

>> 7 and 9. It's the other way.

>> Jay: Oh, 7 and 9, you're right. It's upsiddown.

[ Laughter ]

>> Sorry.

>> Jay: So, what do they want? Cf1 o what do they want?

>> Oh, well -- well, brandon wants a kten, but he's allergic to kittens, so, you know. Santa claus won't be -- and also, they both want -- they want dirt bikes, but they want, like, the 125s. They have the 50s, and now they want the 125s.

>> Jay: The 125 drives fast.

>> Yeah, I don't want to get anything that they're gonna be allergic to, or hurt yourself.

>> Jay: Oh, so you don't want to get them a motorcycle?

>> Not 125! They're, like, 7 and 9.

>> Jay: You know what you do? This is what my dad did. It sounds stupid.

>> You don't think I've heard stupid before?

>> Jay: No, no, no. Get 'em 125s that are bren.

[ Laughter ]

>> Oh, that's horrible!

>> Jay: No, noit isn'T. Because then they have to fix it. And when they learn how to fix it, and they understand how it works, then they will appreciatit. See, if you give it to 'em, and they start it up -- reeeaah! A tree. But if they can't --

it's not running right, and they have to tune it, and they have to work on it, then they will appreciate it. But will it take 'em four years to fix?

>> Jay: I'll screw it up bad for them.

[ Laughter ] No, but I'm serious. Just tell 'em -- just a couple of oken pieces on it. They have to figure it out. D once they study it and they you --

>> Do that with everything. Broken everything. Yeah, that'd be a nice christmas.

>> Jay: Now, are they in the school --

[ Laughter ] Do they do the school pageant?

>> Yes, they did, actually. Both my sons sang at different times. But I was really upset when brandon sang, because he got the worst lighting.

>> Jay: The worst lighting?

>> Yeah, I don't know if -- I think it's karma. My son was right in the middle with a spotlight right over his head. He looked 90.

>> Jay: Really?

>> Yes, he's only -->> Jay: Only in malibu do the parents worry about the kids' lighting.

[ Laughter ] "Oh, look, they look like little angels. Wait, his lighting is wrong! Stop the pageant!"

>> Stop it. I know, brandon's running down, negotiating with people. "What e you saying, mom?" I said, "no, it's okay. Just switch with the guy on the end," which he never did.

>> Jay: Now, what was the pageant? Can do they do religious?

>> No, they just sing songs, but they hanukkah, half christmas -- what? What's the other part?

>> Jay: Oh, so it's not a play.

>> No, it wasn't a play. Whole --

>> Well, the budgets are gone men, and all, but you can't do

[ Light laughter ]

>> No, there's nothing left. They basically just sing a

>> Jay: Okay, but the lighting.

>> The lighting --

>> Jay: So important.

>> It really was.

>> Jay: We'll take a break. Be right back.

[ Cheers anapplause ]

>> Next "inside edition" -- you've never seen anything like this. Caught in the act.

>> Did no one else see that this guy was doing that?

>> Guys using cell phone cameras to shoot up skirts.

>> What kind of guy does this?

>> See how to keep this from happening to you.

>> Someone could be standing below you.

>> Plus -- puppies behind bars, cats in jail. Controversy over pets in prison. Watch the next "inside edition."

[ Cheers and applause ]

>> Jay: All right. Thank you. Yeah. As you can see, "the tonight show" christmas party, office party, in full swing, ladies and gentlemen.

[ Laughter ] Now, is this the third margarita? How many have you had?

>> Two.

>> Jay: Two margaritas.

>> One each.

[ Laughter ]

>> Jay: Well, that sort of loosens you up a bit.

>> Yeah, it does. I feel very warm.

>> Jay: It works wonders. It works wonders.

>> I don't know what this is, but I'm sure I'm allergic. No.

>> Jay: No, no, but it's not -- now, how are you celebrating new year's eve? What are you doing?

>> Well, we're gonna go snowboarding, to whistler.

>> Jay: Take the kids snowboarding.

>> Back home, snowboarding, yes. Yeah, we're bringing the whole family. Tommy will come.

>> Jay: Oh, tommy comes?

>> Of course.

>> Jay: Oh, okay. So you guys friends again?

>> Well, we've been friends. Cf1 o

>> Jay: Always been friends. Okay.

[ Laughter ]

>> Yeah, that's what we're called now.

>> Jay: Is he here for christmas?

>> He is. He just got back from an 11-month tour that did really well. But we haven't seen him in 11onths.

>> Jay: Wow.

>> Yeah. Yeah, it's nice to see him again.

>> Jay: Oh, yeah.

>> It's a nice break.

>> Jay: It's a good break, 11 months.

[ Light laughter ]

>> I love tommy.

>> Jay: And do you snowboard?

>> I have the outfit.

>> Jay: I knoyou have the outfit.

[ Laughter ]

>> I have the snowboard.

>> Jay: Don't take this wrong, it seems like it would be awkward for you to snoward.

>> Why?

[ Laughter ] Everyone falls over.

>> Jay: As a guy, it seems like --

>> Tommy has a hard time, too.

>> Jay: Yeah, but it's lower. Yeah.

[ Laughter ] The center of gravity.

>> Center of gravity, yeah.

>> Jay: Are you a good snowboarder?

>> I'm actually not. You know, I grew up at the base of a mountain, but I didn't ski much. I like the hot tub, I like the sun tanning.

>> Jay: Hot tub and the sun to be more you.

>> Yeah, yeah.

>> Jay: Now, did you make any new year's resolutions? Do you have anything you're gonna do differently?

>> Do you make any new year's resolutions? I don't really make -- I can't -- well.

>> Jay: Not really?

>> I'm not good at that. I say, "this is an opportunity for you to do your homework really nicel everybody does this." I tell them, like, "everybod does this." I'm like, "yeah, everybody does this. "They tell their parents they're gonna be very well behaved, they're gonna listen, they're going to do their homework without complaitotally into it so far.

>> Jay: But you, yourself,

>> I'm all over you. I mean, my stuff is all over you.

>> Jay: That will be fun when I go home tonight. Now, let me ask you -- going to date this kind of guy anymore"? That doesn't work.

>> Jay: It doesn't?

>> No, now, I'm the worst for telling myself not to do something.

>> Jay: Really?

>> Yeah, well, anytime, anything.

>> Jay: What type are you attracted to? Like the bad boy type?

>> I don't even know what I'm attracted to rig I don't really have -- I don't really know.

Podria yourself going with a guy that was a physicist with a bow tie? F1 doesn't really travel in my circle of friend

>> Jay: Let me ask you about the elton john special.

>> Yeah! What happened? This really bothered me.

>> Jay: I know, because you got ited out.

>> Again. I can not ever be on tv before 8:00 think of that thought. 9:30, stat. I think we're gon move it to 9:30.

>> Jay: Your show is on now at 8:30.

>> It's on at 8:30.. it's more of a family show.. a familyime slot. But we're gonna move it in march. Buto, yeah, elton cut me out.

[ Audience boos ]

>> Only for the nbc special. But I don't think the audience really wants to see --

[ Cheers and applause ] So tell them happened. You shot this, and tell them what happened.

>> What happened when I shot it, or what happened --

>> Jay: No, no, I mean, you went to vegas to do this?

>> No, I shot it here. David lachappelle directed the entire elton john show. Really good friend. And he convinced me, like you did, with a couple margaritas. Told me to pole dance, and he blew bubbles at me, and I did it a few times, and they have it in the elton john show in vegas. And I just had this 40-foot-tall beam, dancing.

>> Jay: Now, you have a pole at home, as well.

>> I do have a pole at home. The north pole.

[ Light laughter ] This is mrs. Claus you're talking to.

>> Jay: That's what you call a a "margarita joke."

[ Laughter ] Well, let's show the clip. Here's the scene -- here's what was cut out. This is why nbc is in fourth place, 'cause they cut this out.

>> I don't get it.

>> Jay: Here's what was cut out of the elton john special. This was deemed too erotic for the american public to deal with. Take a look.

I was justified when I was 5

[ Cheers and applause ]

>> Jay: Now, what are you wearing -- what are you wearing on top? That looks like just paint.

>> Well, those are pasties.

>> Jay: Oh, little star pasties.

>> Yeah, but if you cover your nipples, then you're clothed.

>> Jay: You know, I'm gonna keep that in mind.

[ Laughter ] I'm gonna keep that in mind, and remember it for the holidays. I'll remember that. Well, pamela -- and your show is on fox at 8:30.

>> 8:30 on wednesdays. So far.

>> Jay: Thank you. And a merry christmas to you.

>> Thank you, merry christmas.

>> Jay: Be right back with bizarre christmas music right after this.

[ Cheers and applause ]

[ Cheers and applause ]

>> Jay: Welcome back. I am very excited now, pamela anderson now on her third margarita. Is that correct? Third margarita, ladies and gentlemen. There you go.

[ Cheers and applause ] I'll drive you home after the show. You shouldn't be driving.

>> I heard that before.

>> Jay: I'll take care of you.

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