Jennifer Aniston Tonight Show Transcript 2/13

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Postby admin » Wed Feb 14, 2001 3:53 am

Please welcome jennifer aniston!

[ Wild cheers and applause ]

[ cheers and applause ]

>> jay: Good to see you. You look lovely.

>> Hey, wow. Wait a minute. The mike thing is too short.

>> Jay: The mike thing is too short?

>> I'm wired for sound.

>> Woman: You're gorgeous!

>> Oh, you're sweet. Thank you.

>> Woman: I love you.

>> Jay: You got it? You all set?

>> I'm good. It's all good.

>> Jay: Kind of like the judy time-life --

>> it's all good.

>> Jay: Kind of like the judy time-life operator thing.

>> I'm like, you know, janet jackson.

[ Light laughter ]

>> jay: Now, this is a birthday weekend. You had a birthday, and you got valentine's day. Isn't this all this week?

>> All in one week.

>> Jay: So what do you do? What do you -- what's the celebration? Is there a big thing you do? What do you do?

>> No, a big -- yeah, spago and -- no, we went -- actually, we did a mellow thing. We went bowling.

>> Jay: Bowling?

>> Yeah, bowling and a little mexican food.

>> Jay: Bowling and mexican food?

>> Yeah.

>> Jay: Yeah, you want to do the bowling first, then the mexican food.

>> Well, that's what we thought.

>> Jay: Yeah, you do it the other way around, could get messy.

>> You don't bowl too well.

>> Jay: No, no.

>> I didn't bowl too well, anyway.

>> Jay: Now, do you have your own shoes, or do you rent shoes when you get there?

>> I rent shoes.

>> Jay: Oh, really?

>> I go into the old smelly shoes, yeah.

>> Jay: No, but see, i think that's very good, 'cause you get a lot of people in this town, 'ooh, no, I have special little gucci shoes with little bowling -- ' you just go in, and you rent them.

>> Little pom-poms.

>> Jay: Yeah, but that's what i mean. But there are people that have that.

>> Yeah.

>> Jay: You just rent the shoes.

>> Rent the shoes.

>> Jay: Use the shoe at the alley.

>> I'm so tempted to actually walk out with a pair of those shoes, 'cause they're so cool.

>> Jay: And they are attractive.

>> I think so. Are you kidding?

>> Jay: Well, they are. There's something, i guess, oddly attractive.

>> There's something very hip about them, jay.

>> Jay: Yeah, yeah. Do you bowl well? Are you a good bowler?

>> Well, i've had moments of being a very good bowler. I've had those fluke -- where i've -- you know, 'i'm a terrible bowler.' You know, you sort of set that up, and then you just strike. 'Whoa, look at that. Who knew?'

>> Jay: Right, right.

>> And so I was pretty confident -- that, actually, was one of the reasons we thought, 'let's go bowling,' 'cause i just bowled and I did really well. And then it's your birthday, and I just sucked.

[ Laughter ]

>> jay: Oh, you sucked at it. Oh, that's not good. A lot of gutter balls?

>> Gutters. Yeah, that's in the -- yeah.

>> Jay: Now, are you one of those people -- do you walk to the line, sit down and then push the ball, or do you actually --

>> yeah, that's what i do, like the kids.

>> Jay: Huh? Do you follow through with the whole thing?

>> Yeah, no, i do. I at least get that. Sometimes, it doesn't really want to leave my hand. I have a little bit of a hard landing.

>> Jay: If you don't have your own ball, a special -- one of those lucite deals with 'jennifer' lighting up --

>> no.

>> Jay: But you ever see those bowlers that have that? You know, they have the thing that lights up, and it makes -- but they do. There are guys in those leagues that have all that. Says 'gulf oil' or something on the side.

>> Really?

>> Jay: Oh, yeah, yeah.

>> I'll look into that.

>> Jay: Do you like the colored balls or the black ones?

>> I go for a good solid red or blue ball.

>> Jay: Oh, red. Oh, I've had those. Yeah, I've had those, too.

[ Laughter ] yeah, yeah.

[ Eers and applause ]

>> ha-ha-yeah. Sometimes.

>> Jay: So what do you do -- well, how about valentine's? What happens on valentine's?

>> Jay, every day is valentine's day.

>> Jay: Well, that's right. Well, you're --

[ cheers and applause ] aw. Well, you're still a newlywed.

>> Yeah, i know. We are.

>> Jay: I mean, do you have anything special? Does brad --

>> nothing. You know, we'll probably just do a nice dinner at home.

>> Jay: Dinner at home. You gonna cook? I imagine cooking with jennifer, beautiful turkey --

>> yeah, turkey and -- no, no cooking.

>> Jay: Do you cook?

>> No, i don't cook.

>> Jay: Not at all?

>> No, it's awful.

>> Jay: Do you thaw?

>> I thaw, and i microwave, and I order in real well.

>> Jay: Really?

[ Laughter ] well, yeah, yeah. Are you good at microwaving? Do you remember to poke the hole in the foil?

>> Poke the hole in the foil. Pull it back just so much.

>> Jay: Ever so, just a little whiff of steam out.

>> These aren't things you should ever admit.

>> Jay: Now, what do you order in? Now, what, do you order in something -- do you ever order in and try to make brad think you cooked it, or do you just --

>> no.

>> Jay: -- Be honest about it?

>> No, i'm usually honest about that. Yeah. 'Cause he usually gets the door.

[ Laughter ]

>> jay: I guess that domino box is a dead giveaway.

>> That's a dead giveaway.

>> Jay: Now, when he was here -- when brad pitt, of course, your husband, was here, now, he was talking -- and I thought this was very nice, 'cause i've never heard -- usually, men don't talk about the weddi. And they go --

[ jay grunts ] you know.

>> Like, 'what a drag.'

>> Jay: Oh, yeah, they do. You know, they can't go bowling. But, i mean, he said it was, like, the greatest day of his life. He was -- seemed very excited. Was it thrilling for you, or was it just nerve-racking?

>> No, god. It was just -- can you imagine if i was like, 'well, yeah, for me, not so much'?

>> Jay: No, but --

[ laughter ] but, i mean, sometimes people, they worry so much about the details that they don't have a good time.

>> No, the detai -- everything just fell into place. There was nothing to worry about. How can you waste that day worrying? I mean, I can -- i see how people could. I just -- it was not -- it was a preplanned thing not to worr -- have everything just go as smoothly -- and it did.

>> Jay: There was a mess-up? Did something mess up?

>> Nothing mes -- well, I messed up.

>> Jay: You did? Now, what did you --

>> i had a mess-up. But it was during the vows. But it wasn't a mess-up --

>> jay: 'I changed my mind'? I mean, what happened?

[ Laughter ] how do you mess up during the vows?

>> That was the only mess-up.

>> Jay: What's the words, 'i do'? How do you screw that up?

>> I got that far.

[ Laughter ] I got to that part. I can't even remember exactly. But I think we were supposed to start saying something at the same time, and I just didn't start speaking. I thought where he was gonna go and I was gonna go.

>> Jay: Oh, the part where 'i pledge allegiance to the flag' --

>> -- 'to the flag of the united states of jennifer.'

[ Laughter ]

>> jay: Well, it was great. And from what I saw, it looked like a beautiful, beautiful wedding.

>> It was very nice.

>> Jay: We'll take a break. We'll talk some more with jennifer aniston right after this.

[ Cheers and applause ]

[ Cheers and applause ]

>> jay: Welcome back. Talking with jennifer aniston. Now, you're doing these 40-minute 'friends.' Of course, you're going up against 'survivor' now.

[ Jay makes catfight noises ]

>> oh, my god. Damn 'survivor.' Yeah, yeah. We're up against 'survivor.'

>> Jay: No, but you had a good idea. Tell them what you were telling me before, your idea about 'survivor.'

>> I won't get in trouble for at?

>> Jay: No, no, go ahead. Nobody's watching.

>> Well, my idea was --

[ laughter ] nobody's watching. My idea was that, you know, for the ratings war, to have, like, joey and rachel go get picked to be contestants on 'survivor.'

[ Laughter ]

>> jay: And then on 'friends' you guys would watch yourself?

>> Then we would watch. They would tune in to watch joey and rachel on 'survivor,' and you'd get the old cast from last year, like richard and the woman who said, 'i'd watch you die and something' --

[ laughter ]

>> jay: Sure, they're not working. They're available.

>> No, they're out of work.

[ Laughter ] and joey, like, votes rachel off the island. I don't know. I thought it would be a good idea.

>> Jay: I think people would get a kick out of it.

>> Nobody's bid on it. So, now, we have these awesome supersizes, though. 40 minutes, you know, show.

>> Jay: Well, how does those rerun? Can those rerun?

>> No, they can't rerun. Well, they'll rerun again, but only in 30 minutes. You won't have the extra ten minutes.

>> Jay: Oh, I see. So, the extra ten minutes --

>> we won't ever see again. The bloopers show will never actually run again.

>> Jay: Oh, really? This is a one-time only deal?

>> Yes, and that goes into a vault.

>> Jay: Into a vault sealed --

>> which is in my home.

>> Jay: In another 50 years we all get together.

>> Yes, that's right.

>> Jay: Now, do you like reality-type shows?

>> I love, love them. I'm a little addicted to them actually.

>> Jay: You like 'survivor' you mean?

>> Well -- oh, i thought you were talking about like the learning channel and stuff like that. Discovery.

[ Laughter ] but, no, 'survivor,' i was into 'survivor,' absolutely. It's hard -- it's just so -- they're so mean to each other.

>> Jay: Well, welcome to show business.

>> Yeah. Don't trust -- huh?

>> Jay: What do you watch on the learning channel? Like what kind of things do you like?

>> Well, i -- one of my favorites I would have to say is 'trauma.'

>> Jay: 'Trauma'?

>> 'Life in the er.'

[ Laughter ]

>> jay: See, those are gruesome to me.

>> Yeah. Well, my dad was going to be a doctor at one point. And he gave up acting, and he was going to become a doctor, and so, you know, that's where it started. I'd sit next to dad and watch these live operations. And it was riveting.

>> Jay: Really? You like watching surgery? That seems --

>> yeah, i know it's weird. And sometimes even during dinner.

[ Laughter ] we have arguments over that. But you know, it's like, hey, what the hell?

>> Jay: No monster truck?

>> No.

>> Jay: Like 'hannibal,' did you see that movie?

>> Oh, gosh, no. I mean, I will definitely see it but --

>> jay: Are you frightened to see it? Are you a weenie?

>> I don't know that -- huh?

>> Jay: Are you a weenie?

>> Am I a weenie?

>> Jay: Yeah.

>> I'm a wacko.

>> Jay: Yeah?

>> Yes, truly, actually.

>> Jay: Do you get scared in a movie like 'hannibal'?

>> Yes, I get more afraid of, like, slasher movies don't scare me, but those 'exorcist' kind of could maybe really happen, forget it.

>> Jay: 'Exorcist' could happen, the head going around?

[ Laughter ]

>> hey, man, things have happened. There have been stories. No. I had a friend once -- no. But, yeah, those are the ones. I mean, gosh, I don't think anybody after seeing that slept alone well ever.

>> Jay: 'Exorcist'? You know, I slept alone before and after the movie.

[ Laughter ] sleeping alone was never a problem for me. Now, tell me more about the outtakes. Conan --

>> conan o'brien came in and he did sort of like this sort of format. And we just started talking. It was fun. It was just us talking about the clips, 'cause we really love our gag reels at the end of each year more than the show sometimes.

>> Jay: Well, sure.

>> Because we mess up so much. And there's just tngs that go wrong so often.

>> Jay: Well, we have some outtakes here. Does this need a setup what we're going to see?

>> Oh, the setup. Oh, this is the -- yeah. This is the little, sweet child boy who plays benny.

>> Jay: Right.

>> And he -- what did he do? Oh, I forget my line. And he sort of helps me out.

>> Jay: Let's take a look.

>> Sweet kid.

>> Jay: Here's an outtake.

>> Now, what is my first line?

[ Laughter ]

>> 'what did we agree?'

>> Okay.

[ Laughter ]

>> oh, the fan's ready. We've got to do what the band says. I don't care about the stupid band!

[ Laughter ]

>> i don't want to switch. Come on! I could throw wet paper towels here.

>> At monica's you can eat --

[ laughing ]

>> this is not silly.

>> Here we go.

>> Okay.

>> And action.

[ Stammering ]

[ laughter ]

[ applause ]

>> jay: Now, we have another clip from 'friends.' This is for this coming week? This is thursday's? Is that what we have?

>> Oh, yeah, i guess with susan sarandon.

>> Jay: Oh, with susan, okay. Let's take a look. Susan sarandon on 'friends' this week. Let's take a look.

>> Hi.

>> Hey.

>> Oh, my god. Oh, my god! -- In my apartment. I am such a huge fan. I am such a huge fan.

>> Well, it's nice to know that you --

>> monica! Monica!

[ Laughter ]

>> that's my roommate, rachel.

>> Oh, that explains all the women's underwear.

>> Sure.

[ Laughter ]

>> oh, my god, it's true! Oh, my god, you are so amazing. Oh, my god. Can I ask you just one favor?

>> Certainly.

>> Will you slap me? Would you slap me? Would you slap me right here in the face?

[ Laughter ]

>> i'd love to, but my lawyer said i can't do that anymore.

[ Laughter ]

>> god!

[ Cheers and applause ]

>> jay: Well, great job. Thursday night, special 'friends' with special conan outtakes.

>> Yeah.

>> Jay: Jennifer, I'm happy -- and you make a lovely newly wed. You look beautiful. I'm very happy for you.

>> Thank you. Thank you.

>> Jay: I know you have to go. Jennifer aniston. Thank you, dear. Be right back with ricky martin and christina aguilera right after this.

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