Jessica Alba visits 'The Tonight Show' 6/4 Transcript

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Jessica Alba visits 'The Tonight Show' 6/4 Transcript

Postby admin » Tue Jun 05, 2007 6:51 am

>> Jay: No, no. I'm okay. She's currently starring in "fantastic four: Rise of the silver surfer." It opens on june 15th. Please welcome, the lovely, jessica alba.

[ Cheers and applause ]

>> Jay: Well, you look beautiful.

>> Thank you.

>> Jay: Thank you for dressing up. You know, so many people come and they kind of just show up in jeans and things.

>> It's the first day of summer, unofficial first day of summer.

>> Jay: That's right. And you look very summery.

>> Oh, thank you. How you been? Everything good?

>> Yeah, you are my life coach.

>> Jay: I am --

>> You're giving me tips back there about boys and things.

>> Jay: I'm old enough to be her older brother, so --

[ Laughter ] And being happily married, you see --

>> You are happily married.

>> Jay: I am very happily rried.

>> But we're both born on the same day --

>> Jay: We're born on same day, but about five years apart. Yeah, exactly.

[ Laughter ]

>> I thought it was four years apart.

>> Jay: It changes.

>> Okay.

>> Jay: Now, you went to a a nascar race, I hear.

>> Yeah, I went to nascar for the first time.

>> Jay: Okay.

>> Yeah, and it was crazy.

>> Jay: Yeah.

>> Those cars go really fast, and they're really loud. Think? They would go slow and be quiet? I mean --

[ Laughter ]

>> No! I had no idea. I mean, the ground

>> Jay: Right.

>> And we were staying on the inside. What's that called?

>> Jay: The infield?>> Yeah, the infield, I don't but I was talking to the drivers and it's a fivhour race.

>> Jay: Right.

>> So, they can't stop the c for five hours and they're wearing those suits. The bathroom?" And they just go in their suits

[ Laughter ] 'Cause jay was like -- you in the car -- I don't want to sit in the car after hwent, you know.

[ Laughter ] Would you?

>> Ja you know, if I met a a race car driver, I don't ask him would be, "how do you go to the bathroom?"

[ Laughter ]

>> That's the first thing that I asked.

>&gtAy: Really? Really? All right.

>> Yeah, it is.

>> Jay: Did you think they & would stop and go, "wait, bathroom break." And then they run out --

>> That's what I was wondering. I was like, "how do you do it?" But they just go.>> Jay: Oh, okay. All right.

>> Jay: If it's good enough for our astronauts, it's good enough for our nascar.

[ Laughter ] Now, do you like to drive -- you do drive fast. We had a talk about this.

>> I don't drive slow.

>> Jay: Okay. I love that. "I don't drive slow."

>> But I'm -- yeah, but I drive

>> Jay: Now, what does that mean? Have you been stopped for speeding?

>> I've had a few tickets.

>> Jay: Really?

[ Light laughter ]

>> Yeah.

>> Jay: What's the highest over the limit you went?

>> 89?

>> Jay: 89 in a 15? What?

[ Light laughter ]

>> No, no, in, like, in a 65.

>> Jay: Wow.

>> So, itasn't that bad.&

>> Jay: 89 in a 65.

[ Laughter ]

>> Well, I mean, there wasn't anybody else on the freeway

>> Jay: No, but I think the --

>> Except the cop that got me.

[ Laughter ]

>> Jay: Well, yeah. Yeah.

>> And I was driving with my dad in the car. He thought my dad was my boyfriend. It was so weird.

>> Jay: Really?

[ Laughter ]

>> I was like, "ew."

>> Jay: Did you talk your way out of it? Did you do your little, "oh, . Officer."

>> I tried. It didn't work.

>> Jay: No, did you really try?

>> Of course you try.

>> Jay: Really? Now, what do you say? What do you do?

>> I was 16, actually, the first time I got pulled over. And that was the biggest ticket.?

>> Jay: Okay.

>> And he didn't buy it, and I went to traffic school, and I cf1 o go to traffic school when I get the ticket because, you know, it makes your insurance stay low.

>> Jay: Oh, okay.

>> Because if you have a bunch of tickets.

>> Jay: Right.

>> Your insurance gets -- did you know that?

>> Jay: Yeah, yeah.

[ Laughter ]

>> Oh.

>> Jay: Well, most people don't get tickets on a daily basis.

>> Well, no, it's not daily. I got it wn I was 16 -- ten years ago.

>> Jay: Now, are you frugal? You're talking about saving money. Are you a cheapskate? No, I just watch it, you know? I don't want to, like, have all this money when I'm yog and then when I'm older not have anything.

>> Jay: Right, okay.

>> So, you know, I'm careful. But you gave me alashlight last time I was here. Light.

>> I heard you're kind of a a cheap -- oh, yeah for the -- for the bedding.

[ Laughter ]

>> Jay: I'm not cheap.

A hotel -- you know those stains on the sheets and all that kind of thing?

>> Yeah and hairs.

>> Jay: From our "dateline" friends, I got onef their lights that you shine --

>> But it didn't work.

>> Jay: It didn't -- well, maybe there were no stains on the bed.

[ Light laughter ]

>> Maybe you gave me the c o one or something?

[ Laughter ] I don't know.

>> Jay: Well, I will get you -- did you try it? Did you try it on the bed?

>> Yeah. I tried it at home and it was clean.

>> Jay: It was clean. Oh, all right.

[ Lighlaughter ] Look, we'll take a brea justo despues this.

[ Cheers and applause ]


[ Cheers and applause ]

>> Jay: Welcome back. Talking with the lovely jessica alba. Now, again -- as your life coach, I heard something disturbing. When I do these --

>> What did you hear?

>> Jay: Well, I heard -- this is what I heard. Again, people talk.

>> Okay. People talk.

>> Jay: People talk. And they said you and dane cook, the comedian, had some kind of wild sex thing going and you got a tooth knocked out.

>> Okay. So, I did a comedy. I did a romantic comedy with dane cook.

>> Jay: Oh, this is a movie?

>> It's a movie, yeah, yeah.

>> Jay: It wasn't boyfriend/girlfriend stuff?

>> No, no, no, no, no. This is in the movie we did, like, a comedic "mr. And mrs. Smith" love scene, so we were, like, hitting walls and doing all this crazy stuff.

>> Jay: Right.

>> And his tooth knocked my tooth in the front and chipped it. And I smashed my head into a a picture frame and cracked the picture frame.

>> Jay: Ow.

>> It was very violent.

[ Laughter ]

>> Jay: Or kinky, depending on where you're coming from.

>> Depends that way.

>> Jay: Didn't you also once kiss a monkey? I remember there was something else --

>> No, no, I didn't do that by choice, though.

>> Jay: What happened?

>> Do you like monkeys?

>> Jay: Do I like monkeys?

>> Yeah.

>> Jay: I don't like to make out with monkeys.

[ Laughter ]

>> But, I mean, you know, if a a monkey was here would you --

>> Jay: I like monkeys when they're here. I don't like monkeys when they're smoking cigars and roller skating. See, that's what I --

[ Laughter ] I hate that thing where, "oh, he's hilarious. He's playing the piano. He's --" I like monkeys when they do monkey things, except when they throw feces. I don't like that.

[ Laughter ]

>> I totally agree.

>> Jay: But when a monkey is like, "banana, tree." Okay. When the monoodle dandy."

>> They would put clothes on monkeys, too.

>> Jay: Yeah, clothes on monkeys are annoying.

>> Yeah, I agree. And I don't want to be involved.

>> Yeah, yeah.

>> Jay: Now, what happened with the monkey that --

>> So, I did this show for mtv I like them in the wild, like you, but so we're at this thing and the monkey grabbed my ears, and screamed in my face.

[ Laughter ] And then -- and showed me all of its teeth. And then came in for a kiss, and it -- monkeys have very long tongues.

[ Laughter ] And it, like, licked all the inside of my mouth.

[ Audience groans ]

[ Laughter ] It was disgusting. And monkeys eat nasty things, you know?

[ Audience groans ] It was terrible.

>> Jay: So, who is a better kisser, dane cook or the monkey?

[ Laughter ] 'Cause the monkey didn't knock your teeth out. So, at least the monkey knew to be gentle.

[ Laughter ]

>> No, the monkey was not gentle. It squeezed my ears pretty hard.

>> Jay: Now, you're on the cover of "gq."

>> Yes, I did.

>> Jay: Now, I have to ask you another question as a life coach. It looks like you have a piece of shrapnel in your belly button. What happened there?

>> No. I have a -- it's very dorky. I have a belly button piercing.

>> Jay: Okay.

>> Yeah.

>> Jay: And how did mom and dad take that?

>> They don't know why I did that. My dad was disappointed for like --

>> Jay: See, that's the worst. 'Cause parents -- see, they don't get mad.

>> He's like, "why did you do that to yourself?"

>> Jay: They get disappointed.

>> Yeah.

>> Jay: I didn't mind when my

>> Yeah, it's worse.

>> Jay: Just get mad. Hit me with a pot. Don't be disappointed.

[ Laughter ] Now, does this come out, or is

>> No, it comes out.

>> Jay: Like, when you go to the airport --

>> I can change the jewelry.

>> Jay: Does the guy go -- and then you've got to show him your belly button?

>> No. No, it's never buzzed. Thank god. That would be embarrassing.

>> Jay: All right, all right.

>> Do you have any piercings?

>> Jay: Do I have any piercings?

[ Laughter ] Surprisingly no.

[ Laughter ] Do I look like I would have some sort of --

>> I don't know, maybe your, like, tongue or something, I don't know.

[ Laughter and applause ]

>> Jay: No, I don'T.

>> Sorry.

>> Jay: Yeah. I have a railroad tie through my head I used to wear.

[ Laughter ] Now, tell us about the movie. It's --

>> "Fantastic four: Rise of the silver surfer." It's a very long title.

>> Jay: And you play -- and you're invisible.

>> I'm the invisible woman, yeah.

>> Jay: Which seems, like, so ridiculous to make you the invisible woman.

>> Well, I'm not invisible the whole time.

>> Jay: Right.

>> I put up force fields. And I end up being the most powerful of the group.

>> Jay: Oh, okay. All right. Okay.

>> It's more exciting. It's tons of action this one, tons of cgi. And we have the silver surfer who laurence fishburne did the voice.

>> Jay: Oh, okay. All right. Now, set up our clip. What's happening in this scene? Because, I have to admit, I wasn't able to see the movie yet, 'cause I don't think it's finished.

>> This is when johnny has cer surfer. Johnny plays my brother. And when he comes in contact with the silver surfer, he changes powers with anybody, any of us.

>> Jay: Okay.

>> So, we accidentally switch powers and that's what you're going to see.

>> Jay: Okay. On a true story.

>> Of course.

[ Laughter ]

>> Jay: Let's take a look.

>> All facts. All facts right here.

>> Hey, you all right, john?

>> Johnny? Johnny, are you okay?

>> Something went strange since my brother went surfing.

>> Maybe we should get you checked out. Why'd you do that?

>> I didn't do anything.

>> Oh!

>> Stop, drop and roll! Stop, drop and roll!

[ Screaming ]

>> Just hang on, I'll get you, okay?

>> Hey, watch it.

[ Screams ]

>> Sue?

>> I'm on fire!

>> Sue? Sue, what's going on?

>> I'm on fire!

>> You're on fire?

>> You think?

[ Laughter and applause ]

>> Jay: There you go. It opens on the 15th. Jessica, always a pleasure. S

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