Jennifer Lopez Skit

User avatar
Supreme Member
Posts: 3162
Joined: Wed Dec 31, 1969 7:00 pm
Location: USA

Jennifer Lopez Skit

Postby admin » Sun Feb 11, 2001 2:20 am

love don't cost a thing

>> cut, cut, cut.

>> Jennifer, jennifer, what's going on here? What's the problem?

>> It's the dancer, he's awful.

>> Awful or great?

>> Aul! Now, get out of here! I know every casting director in town. You will never work again, pal. I'm sorry, about that, jenny, he's my son.

[ Laughter ] listen, I think I got the guy for you. I caught his act at a male strip club called 'beef cakes.' Went there by mistake, long story.

[ Laughter ] anyway, just fell in love with him. Come on out here, mango.

[ Cheers and applause ]

>> sorry i'm late. I was getting acupuncture on my hoo-ha.

[ Laughter ]

>> mango? Listen. Listen. We don't have a lot of time, okay?

>> Can you do this for me?

>> Uh-huh.

>> Stop. All right, everybody.

[ Laughter ] places. Action. Action!

Think i wanna drive your benz i don't

if I wanna floss I got my own even if you were broke my love don't cost a thing

[ laughter ]

>> this guy is good.

>> He's making love to the camera.

>> Cut, cut, cut! Cut the tape! What the hell is going of here?

>> Mango. Mango.

>> Mango, you're incredible. You're incredible. We got to get you to a recording studio. You're gonna be bigger than jennifer lopez!

>> Hey!

>> Well, i guess a star is born.

[ Laughter ]

>> hello, what about my video?

Mango's here and he's here to say

get out of here

i'm going downtown

go to a store so let's rock it now

take it out of here

every breath you take

every move you make

[ laughter ]

oh rock it now every vow you break

every claim you stake I'll be watching you please, don't talk to the talent, okay? This tea! This tea tastes like crap!

>> Mango, you just made some history. This is a hit record, i can feel it, okay? We're going to get you on everything. 'Tlr,' 'storytellers,' 'diva live.'

>> 'Diva live?!'

>> Yep. Oh, hey, jennifer, i'm sorry, I'm sorry, but we're going to have to cancel your session mango ran a little long.

>> Yeah, sorry, sweet cheeks, but divas like me can't be rushed.

>> You're no diva.

>> Oh, yeah? Well we'll see who the real diva is when we get together with other divas and perform on a program called 'divas live.'

>> Yeah, i'm going to kick your diva ass!

>> Oh, bring it on, hter ]

mango makes the people come together

j.Lo makes the bourgeoisie and the rebels

hey, mr. Dj, put a record on

[ laughter ]

i wanna dance with my baby

j.Lo makes the people come together

[ laughter ]

music makes the bourgeoisie and the rebels

>> ah, what a surprise.

>> Hello, mango.

>> Hey-lo, J.Lo.

[ Laughter ] well i guess they put us in the same dressing room, huh?

>> Is that what you're wearing tonight?

>> Yeah.

>> I see you're still shopping in the women's section.

>> Oh, what the frik?!

[ Laughter ] this is a man's cut. Why does everybody think i'm the homo gay.

[ Laughter ] oh, why, why, why, why?! Maybe I know why.

[ Laughter ] why?! Me, you little b****
, you get in J.Lo's way, and you're going to pay.

>> Can you pay a rainbow to be less beautiful?

>> Oh, can you piss off a puerto rican and live to tell about it?

[ Laughter ]

>> can you talk to my hand for a second here, please!

>> Can you eat food through a tube after i cut you?

>> Can you cut food with a tube after I eat you?!

[ Laughter ] such is mango.

>> Ho!

>> Slut! Nk!

>> Tramp!

>> Oh, why you!

[ Laughter ]

>> ow, i broke a nail -- psych!

[ Laughter ] I'm sorry.>> I'm all right. Don't worry about me

[ laughter ]

>> oh, is this cashmere?

>> Oh, it's really nice.

[ Audience oohs ]

[ laughter ]

we're going riding on a freeway

[ laughter ] of love

in a pink cadillac

[ applause ] thank you. Thank you, so much. Well our next diva is -- hey, hey! Stop fightin'! Stop fightin'! Stop fightin'! Stop fightin'! Us divas have to stick together.

>> Aretha's right.

>> I'm sorry, J.Lo.

>> No, mango, I'm the one who's sorry. You deserve all your success.


>> you know what? I think we're going to become good friends. You know why?

Ah-ooh you know why?

>> I'll tell you why in just a second.

'Cause you make me feel you make me feel

you make me feel like a natural

mango J.Lo


mango j.Lo mango! J.Lo!Cheers and applause ]

Return to “Jennifer Lopez”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest