A Newlyweds: Nick & Jessica Parody

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Postby MooseMan » Sun Sep 07, 2003 4:22 pm

Announcer: On today's Newlyweds, Nick and Jessica decided to go to Vegas to have some little R & R when they went to a trendy nightclub spot on the outskirts of town.

Nick: Jess, let's check the Green Valley bar so we can get our groove on

Jessica: Oh Nick, don't you ever think about anything else than getting your groove on? We're married now we're supposed to be outstanding citizen in the hands of god

Nick: Why? and to be bored ourour rest of fans and our MTV viewers to death with your holier than thou? Do you want to be whored to the public for your album sales

Jessica: (looking at the camera) Oh...(giggles) Hi Fans! Do you think I'm Irresistible? Buy my album 'The Sweetest Sin...

Nick: (getting annoyed and grabbing her hand) Who you quit it....come on let's go in...and stopped looking at the camera so evil..

Jessica: What-ever!

Announcer: eeech! I agree you on that one Nick! (Ahem!)Meanwhile inside the bar..Jessica was little annoyed and getting potty-faced when she spotted Nick making moves on attractive hottie

Jessica: - Nick! Why are you dancing with that hoochie-coochie mama?

Nick: - Well...er Jess, she just trying out dancing moves for my next video...

Hoochie-Choochie Mama: - Who's this squareville trick-ass ho?

Nick: - It's just my Uppity Christian wife of mine Jessica Simpson, pay no attention of her

Jessica: NICK!!! How dared you talk to me like that....(Jess turned around and walked out of the bar)...you worthless male slut!

Hoochie-Choochie Mama: - (laughing) got it give it to the Christian girl, told your ass of right there

Announcer: Well this only this time the arguement between the two is getting hotter and spill off to the parking lot when a snooper reorter for the Las Vegas Review Journal recorded everything going on

Nick: hey, hey....YOU with that wrting paper, what you're doing? come back here! Better not be you Moose Man!! I know where your mama lived?

Eminem: - Talking about me pretty-boy Floyd!

Nick: - Slim! (laughing neverously) I wasn't talking about you...I was talking to that guy who just ran thru the bushes over the yonder

Eminem - Yeah right! Just like you talk about me on that intervew about me last year..and you dance with my woman in there too? Yo! D-12 beat this punk-ass beeitch

Nick: - No Ahh! (getting beat up) No! No!

Jessica: - Aww I'm sorry Nick! are you hurt?

Nick: - Only when I look at your pretty eyes...Jess

Jessica: - Yes Nicky-poo

Nick: - Can you do me a favor?

Jessica: - Yes honey anything...name it!

Nick: - I want a divorce???

Jessica: (cried when looking shocked) - DAAAAAAAAADEEEEEEEEE!!!

Announcer: - coming up next on Nick and Jessica: Divorce Style, Nick and Jessica are dueling out in court for divorce proceeding.

Judge Joe Brown: (said in a Southern drawl) - You know what Ms. Simpson, If I were Nick, after all the stress you put this poor man thru for 5 years, instead of marrying you. he outgha filed police charges against you for teasing his manihood...and stopped looking me with that evil eye of yours before I'll have you thrown you in jail for comptent!!

Announcer: - that's Nick and Jessica: Divorce style coming soon to MTV near you!

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Postby beftek » Wed Sep 10, 2003 2:16 pm

That is so damn funny, yo. . . :lol:

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