Jump The Shark Said Newlyweds 'over!'

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Postby MooseMan » Tue Mar 02, 2004 10:47 pm

Be Forwarned: It's Pretty DAMN long but worth reading

Newlyweds: Nick & Jessica

First Show 2003
Last Show
Genre Reality
Network MTV
Slot Day Tuesday
Slot Time 10:30 pm
Jumped The Shark when... Votes
Jessica is TOO dumb 22
Never Jumped 17
Day One 16
Jessica's Dad 5
Jessica cashes in on her stupidity 3
Jessica's bowel fixation 1
They Did It (Nick and Jessica) 1

Other Thoughts:

This is the funniest show on television completely in spite of itself.
"Is this chicken, what I have, or is this fish?" "Is there, like, maids for, like, celebrities?" "Isn't it plata-ma-pus? I always thought it was plata-ma-pus." This is the perfect argument that staying a virgin till marriage is hazardous to your brain cells. Nick must have the patience of a saint to put up with Jessica. God forbid if these two ever have kids. It would be really, really scary.
Okay, America had and destroyed "Ozzy", we loved then hated, "Anna Nicole"...now the American viewing audience has been blessed with Newlyweds: Nick & Jessica. Better known as Nick - I was in a one-hit wonder boy band - Lachey with wifey, Jessica - I want to be a diva but I suck- Simpson. The premise of the show is that Nick/Jessica are newlyweds and we get a sneak peek into their personal lives adjusting to married life. Woah! Get out the Vivarin! Talk about boring. Jessica Simpson has to be the most spoiled brat alive. Her whining makes me cringe. She's 24, just as I am. The first episode is her calling friends on her cell complaining that there's tons of laundry to do...and just sits on her couch and the camera pans to the bounty of dirty clothes that have been thrown into the foyer. This show is boring, Nick is washed up, Jessica lives in a world where people actually buy her music and she makes money. In actuality, these two kids live in a big house that has zero furniture, Jessica spends tons of money on things she can't afford, Mr. Lachey openly talks about his wife's spending addictions. Let me think...ahh, I have to work 40 hours a week. Do you think I want to see a bratty girl getting her hair done and burping while shopping for lingerie? Ahh, maybe if it was an actual music star. Sorry MTV, nice try on Nick & Jessica. But they are too washed up to enjoy!
Every single time Jessica thought she was saying something important. The way she is a slob and thinks she needs someone to clean up after her.
Jessica Simpson is the sole reason why the Mute button was invented.
Is it just me or does Jessica have some sort of bowel fixation or issue. The scene when Jessica comes out of the bathroom and Nick nearly vomits from the smell of her feces made me cringe. Then, in another episode when the go to Nick's 146-year old grandmother's funeral, um I mean wedding, Jessica says at the kitchen table how she has to 'drop the kids off in the pool'. I don't know if she is laxative-dependent, Nick is giving her some rough anal or what, but that girl is constantly taking these massive dumps. I had a hard time deciding what makes this show worse, her bowels or Nick being such a damn tightwad. This guy should be kissing a maids ass that she will even bother cleaning their pigpen. Hey Nick, if 120 bucks is too much for 'just folding laundry', then you f-ing do it. Yeah, sure you 'like to stay with friends' when you travel. Your just too cheap to spring for a hotel. These two, divorced within 2 years, guaranteed.
This show jumped the first time Jessica Simpson opened her mouth. I certainly hope she didn't think this show would boost her public image because up until this point I didn't even have an opinion about her. Well now I do. I have never in my life seen anybody as spoiled, shallow, vain, self absorbed and all around stupid as she is. "Riga-ma-what?" "Isn't it plata-ma-pus" And her constant whining is like fingernails on a chalkboard. For once I would love to hear Nick say "Shut up, b****!" I guess it just goes to show that guys really don't care what kind of person you are as long as you look good. And what newly married couple wants a camera crew following them around all the time? Especially when one of those people is experiencing sex (supposedly) for the first time. It's just a big publicity stunt to help their sagging careers.
MTV has seriously run out of ideas for shows when they have to dedicate a program to not even B list "celebrities". I watched the episode about the laundry, saw Jessica's lazy a## lounge around the house, heard her whine, b****, and complain...and immediately felt sorry for Nick. If she's gross enough to burp in public, she's just a hop, skip and a jump from fartin and scratchin her a## on MTV. Oops, did I just give away next week's episode?
JTS when Jessica opened her mouth. She is an absolute idiot. 2 examples. She thinks Buffalo Wings are made of Buffalo & She isn't sure whether Chicken Of The Sea Tuna is chicken or tuna. God bless Nick for putting up with that. I mean she is a total piece of a$$, but most men would dump her after they got the pootie.
Jessica Simpson has to have the most unattractive personality in the entire universe. She has an incredibly inflated sense of her own importance, has no manners whatsoever, and is such a whiner! Her parents must be so proud...
Jessica Simpleton joins the ranks of Pamela Anderson, Anna Nicole Smith, Heather Locklear, Christina Aguilera, and of course Britney Spears in the dumb blonde elite. Nick, what were you thinking?
My husband and I watch this show every Tues. night. At first, we thought Jessica's "airheadedness" was cute, but now, it's just annoying. Nobody is THAT stupid. The big shark moment came when Nick and Jessica were on some vacation and the waitress asked Jessica if she wanted buffalo wings. I almost fell off my sofa when that bubblehead said, "I don't eat buffalo". And she said it with a dead serious look on her face. Nick looked at her like, you dumbass! What makes her even more sickening is how spoiled and whiny she is. I laughed out loud when she said, My mommy always made my bed." Geez, does she still wipe your ass too?
I thought the above comment on how Jessica is "always taking these massive dumps" was hilarious. I mean, yeah, she's a ditz and we really don't need to hear about her crapping escapades, but people DO sh**.
The only reason Jessica has the least amount of popularity at all, is because her last name is the same of TV's most beloved animated family. The shark came and went quickly on this clunker.
I was beginning to wonder if I was the only person who thought that Jessica Simpson made a HUGE mistake by agreeing to have her first year of marriage taped. Someone so beautiful should not be so shallow, egomaniacal and, good Lord, stupid beyond human comprehension. At first, I thought maybe I was being too hard on her. After all, I had to mop up the puddle of drool under my husband's chin while he watched the first episode. About midway through the third episode, that drool disappeared and was replaced with a dry open-mouthed stare which read "NO piece of ass is worth all that aggravation!" Jessica has, without a doubt, alienated any fan she may have ever had. After hearing her sing live on more than one occasion, I am more than impressed by "studio magic." She certainly doesn't sound that bad on her albums. Granted, she does have a better singing voice and more range than Britney, but --vocally -- Christina is someone she will never even come CLOSE to touching! I have been married to my husband for nearly 6 years and I STILL would NEVER fart or burp in front of him. It's incredibly tacky and unladylike. And if the bathroom stinks, light a match or spray it down before he even sets foot in its vicinity! It had nothing to do with her age or the fact that she was (allegedly) a virgin before they were married. It has to do with the fact that Mr. and Mrs. Simpson raised one very stupid, very spoiled girl. Good luck to Nick in helping her grow up, but I think this is one leopard who won't be changing her spots. I give it another year before he cuts her loose. Unless, of course, he is just too kind and pities her too much.
Jessica Simpson and Nick are going to be out of money in 5 years. His career is already over and after this show her career is in the toilet as well. She has great tits but she is a moron. Her parents should be ashamed of themselves for raising a spoiled idiot. She lives in a world where people actually like her music.
This show is like a bad car wreck. I can't watch yet I can't turn away. Jessica is so mind-numbingly stupid its obvious her real parents are Kelly Bundy and Beaureguard from The Muppet Show only unlike Bo she doesn't do any housework.
This has got to be one of the worst shows I've ever seen. Jessica Simpson's only redeeming quality is her looks. She is as whiny as they come, and no woman should make her man watch this if she hopes to get a marriage proposal someday. This will scare any normal man out of wanting to get married. MTV is home of some horrible shows, but they haven't hit the bottom of the barrel....yet. This show and the Wade Robson Project hit VERY close!
I agree with the above poster...the show is an exercise in boredom. And the Wade Robson project is just as awful as Jessica's bowel fixation.
When jessica calls Nick in to be her vocal coach during the recording session.
Forget jumping. The shark officially hung himself thanks to this show. As a blond, it pisses me off to see this moron just back the stereotype. God help them if they have kids. Maybe the child will get Nick's good sense as opposed to Jessica's lackthereof...
Okay, maybe I should've put "Day One" but here we may have the first case of one show jumping on another. The set up happened on "Newlyweds." Jessica wonders what she is eating. She wanted tuna, but the can says "Chicken of the Sea." So, Einstein wondered what exactly she was eating. On "Letterman" Jessica let her massive intellect shine again when she told Dave that "she was on a successful TV show." His reply, "Yeah, well at least I know the difference between chicken and tuna." BTW, DAVE RULES!! IN YOUR FACE JAY (I HAVEN'T BEEN FUNNY SINCE 1989) LENO!!
I think Newlyweds is cute. Sure Jessica is spoiled but that is her unique personality. Nick must have new that before he married her so therefore he must really love her. EVERYONE burps and farts. She is just being herself- if she was being fake then everyone would bash her for that. Give the poor couple a break guys!
This one jumped the shark at the altar. What in the world possessed Lachey and Simpson to think this show was a good career move for EITHER of them? Granted, neither of them was very likely to hit the Top 40 again, anyway, but what Jessica Simpson fan would want to ADMIT to still being a fan after watching this? What zoo did this woman escape from? Nick - if you make it to your fifth wedding anniversary to this woman, I, for one, strongly believe you should be appointed to sainthood.
I like this show. I think it's cute. Yeah, she's kinda dingy, but she's not too bad. Think about it, she's gorgeous, rich, and 23. Yet, she still manages to be generally polite and decent to people. She also works hard (at her career, if not at housework). I agree that Nick has a great deal of patience, but I've also noticed that she's extremely supportive and loving of him. He asks her advice on career/video decisions, and she gives him good advice. I think she's smart when it comes to showbiz. She's not much dumber or sillier than any other woman her age, and she could be much worse.
I have to admit, I love watching this show. It actually makes me feel better about my own life to see someone that is actually that spoiled, unappreciative, and stupid. I think Nick had to be under the influence of drugs when he married her. Is she really that stupid? At first I thought that it was an act, but I really think she is that dumb. It just goes to show that money can buy a big nice house, cars, and all kinds of things, but money can't buy a brain.
I never knew Jessica Simpson was this dumb.My mom is watching this piece of garbage and they're arguing about designing the house and how Nick "I Have No Career" Lachey is saying he wants to decorate the house toghether and she wants to hire a designer.Oh,No,now another episode is starting and she's talking about Nick's hairy ass in the opening.TMI,Jessica,TMI!!!Where do they keep the machine that fills air into her head?The only purpose this show serve is to have this on in the cells of prisoners who are serving a life sentence!Get rid of this garbage,MTV,and start playing videos like you should!!!
This show sickens me but of course I've seen every episode. Is this a public service announcement on the mentally challenged?!? First of all, call me jealous of this spoiled b**** but SHE'S NOT THAT HOT!! Am I the only one who thinks this? Look at her profile. If I spent 90 percent of my life getting my hair, nails, etc. done I could fool everyone too. And wtf is with that god awful shawl she wears? It probably cost more than my entire wardrobe. I don't think Nick is any saint for putting up with her b.s. He's just as stupid for marrying her. He has his redeeming qualities but he obviously looks over intelligence, sense of humor, etc. for what he thinks is a hot piece of ass. Also, who would ever spend money on her book? It's just an extension of her warped sense of over importance. Gee I really care about Jessica Simpson's take on planning a wedding. Can she even spell wedding? Her parents are just as retarded as she is..."Jessica, we'll help you move, all you have to do is ask"..."Jessica, want me to do your laundry for you?" I wonder how she got to be the way she is?
If these two are so candid now about their lives, has anyone out there considered what is going to happen should these two decide to reproduce? How far is the show going to go? I admit, it would be fascinating to watch Jessica learn the correct terminology for her body parts, but I would rather the shark feasts before the stork flies.
I picked "they did it" as my category as apparently they waited until marriage to have sex and I'm sure Nick has been waking up each day in misery, wondering why he married this retard. This is why waiting to get married to have sex isn't a good idea. Nick was obviously so desperate to get a piece of Jessica ass that he was willing to marry her, she better be damn good in bed to compensate for her lack of personality. I'm sure if Nick was able to get this dimwit in the sack earlier, he never would have married her. Also, has anyone noticed Jessica's dad is a homosexual?
I know most people on here hate this show, but I find it quite entertaining. For instance, Jessica Simpson is dumber than a box of animal crackers, so I mean its funny. I know she annoying, whiny...but that's what makes it good television: people being stupid. I mean come on, who thinks buffalo wings comes from buffalo? She was probably really shelter as a child or got dropped on her head as a baby. Oh yeah, to the above poster: JAY LENO IS THE MAN! Hey I got a question for you, who gets better ratings? LENO! Who got picked to take place of Johnny Carson, after he left the Tonight Show? What? I can't hear you... JAY LENO!! Yeah, what I thought.
Hands down the funniest show on TV. If anyone reads Bill Simmons column on ESPN's Page 2 you are familiar with the "unintentional comedy scale" which ranks how funny people are without trying to be funny (because they are stupid, over-the-top, shadows of their former selves, etc.) Jessica has got to be off the chart.
It never ceases to amaze me what MTV can and will try to do to gather an audience. This new Gem puts two has-beens in their own TV "reality" show. The reality about it is that it SUX. Jessica's current album is number 79 on Billboards charts, and Nick, well can anyone remember one big hit 98 degree's had (did they ever get any serious radio play?) Without a doubt Jessica is 2 nickels short of a dime. The only reason I think Nick married her was to tap that ass. Since Jackass was already taken for a show, Newlyweds was the next best thing. If Jessica decides to go solo they could name it Dumbass!!!
This show is really funny and cute. Jessica is sooo dumb but at least she isnt just trying to be cute like britney spears...i think she really does act like that. The only problem is i feel sorry for them cuz they're such has-beens. and especially sorry for poor nick b/c even jessica still signs autographs!
This show jumped the shark as soon as it came on the air. I am DEAD serious when I say that this is the worst show on television. Jessica Simpson is the most retarded spoiled person I have ever seen. I really feel bad for Nick. I say they are divorced within 2 years, look at Nick next time she opens her mouth. hes just lookin for a way out
To the poster above who defended both this show and Jay Leno: If you think "that's what makes it good television: people being stupid", then I sincerely hope you never breed, because it's people like you who prefer mindless crap like this instead of an intelligent plot. And about Jay Leno; sure, he has better ratings, but crap like Newlyweds, Blind Date, and even Fear Factor can get good ratings, that shows more the stupidity and lack of class and morals that society has, rather than the quality of the product on TV. Also, let me clue you in on something, and please feel free to do some research: Johnny Carson DID NOT want Jay Leno to do the Tonight Show. It was Jay's agent Helen Cushnick and her dealings behind the scenes that screwed a genius like Letterman over. Next time you watch his show, listen to how many times his jokes get sympathy applause rather than laughs, or maybe when Kevin Eubanks is the only one laughing. Please son, learn a thing or two about comedy then come and post here again.
This show is fun to watch, i mean i dont really care to much about TV but i would have to say it hit it a low point when they went to home depot to buy bee killer. I was really surprised that they couldnt come up with something a little more interesting. My trips to Home Depot are ten times more fun that that anyways.
It jumped the shark when they began spending more amounts of money than they are actually worth put together. They only have like one hit each and royalties don't last THAT long. It's absolutely amazing how Nick and Jessica aren't living on food stamps and sh** seeing as how the b*tch spends over seven hundreds dollars worth of panties? I know they didn't sell THAT many records...so why aren't they trying to save money since the boy band phase is over and since Jessica really sucks at singing?
I'm not sure Jessica being dumb could be the JTS moment, since the whole show is ABOUT Jessica being dumb. Therefore, the JTS would have to be when she got a master's degree in enumerative combinatorics. However, when the sad little couple were on their way to the races and Jessica asked if the "real" Seabiscuit were running-- now that's dumb beyond all human comprehension. (Other favorite: When Jessica said that 25 was "almost" mid-20s. Um. Did she ever take a math class?)
I had never heard a song by Jessica Simpson or even hear her speak before I watched this show for the first time. I had seen pictures of her (she was pretty damn hot) and heard about her "no sex until marriage" creed. Then I saw the show. Damn! What a ditz! And not much to look at when she's not made up. Dumb, stupid and ignorant is no way to go through life, young lady! Her husband was a member of a boy group so lame, I keep calling it "38 Special", not "98 Degrees". I hear he left the group to pursue solo interests. That's working out well. This is a high scoring show on Bill Simmons' Unintentional Comedy Scale, at least a 92. How can people like this do so well in this world? You got me. My theory was that Nick married her to, as another poster so eloquently put it, "tap her ass".
to the guy who put the comment, shes no dumber than any other girl her age...what is wrong with you? honestly, she is WAY dumber than any girl i have ever met....she doesn't know what buffalo wings are made of, the whole tuna, chicken of the sea thing? i am surprised nick can even stand to be in the same room with her. jessica simpson is a poor example of the human race and if aliens do exist, lets hope they don't find her first and think are whole species is a bunch of stupid, crude whiners.
OMG. Whoever wrote that her dad is a homosexual - you are spot on. I was thinking the same thing and I think I can confirm. I just saw him in US Weekly wearing a shiny silver suit. Too funny. I loved this show during the first season. I don't know if it can continue into a second season with the same innocence/naivety. I'm sure Jessica and Nick realize they are cashing in and the 2nd season will become like Ozzy - one big audition. Damn. Well, it was fun while it lasted. Every episode ending with Jessica coyly saying , "Nick, I loooove you (baby talk)" and him answering all exasperated "Yeah. Well, I love you too. (sigh)". Classic.
Only two words. WHO CARES? Or should I say...four words...WHO THE F*** CARES? Thanks Jessica for ruining "Jack and Diane" by John Cougar Mellencamp. Plagarism reaps its ugly rewards. Who cares about "saving" yourself until marriage? Who cares about you spending gobs of money? Who cares about your happiness in a world of shi* we live in? Who cares about anything you say? Apparently no one... Bottom line, this show is DISGUSTINGLY SICK.
They showed Jessica Simpson's new music video on MTV the other day. It includes her prancing around in a "Platy-ma-pus" t-shirt, eating buffalo wings, lying in piles of laundry, eating tuna fish... Jessica seems to have realized she is, for lack of a better word, an idiot, and the public apparently likes it. And now the show will go the way of "The Osbournes" and turn into a cash cow slaughter.
For this show, I could pick "I Do" and "They Did It" for reasons why they made the shark die a violently ugly death from too many calories in one sitting and both would be legitimate reasons. But since both reasons are the backbone of this show, I have to say it jumped on day one. I realize that both Nick and Jessica need the money. Couldn't they have come up with a better way to make the green that didn't involve sacrificing their privacy, let alone their dignity?
Whoooa, some people need to chill. Some of you are so jealous or don't have lives. I admit, when I first started watching the show, she was annoying. I think alot of her "stupidity" comes from the fact that she doesn't think before she speaks. Most of her comments are stupid but I think some of it is an act. I have seen her on interviews and the today show etc...and she doesn't seem "airheady". I think she is a smart business woman, and she is pretty and she does sing very well. I have never bee a jessica/nick fan but seeming them in love i respect that. Ya'll need to stop hatin'. Yeah I admit she is very spoiled/mannerless at times but that does have alot to do with her parents. The farting/burping thing-she does that around people she knows and feels comfortable with in her house, but never in public. Who are you to be telling her what she should/shouldn't do in her own house, if it bothers you so much, turn the channel. She was on this interview via tv and one of the anchors for celebrity news asked to burp for her on air b/c there are so many women saluting her for being herself in her home(which it should be). The NEWS ANCHOR (who was blond and beautiful by the way) started burping the abc's and encouraged jess to jump in. Jess replied with she couldn't b/c she needed a coke. I think that was her polite way of not doing it on someone else's show. I think they are very in love and they will make it b/c of that. Everyone has flaws, some of us more than others, but that is where love comes in-you overlook it. I'm sure none of you have never had a boyfriend/husband that annoyed you or had to put up with something they did that annoyed you or vice versa. They do have money (look at the house)and like any smart person would do would to make sure all the money keeps coming in before decorating your house. That is smart. Not blowing it on everything. Besides the show is making them very, very popular. Obviously, her "airheadedness" has worked because the show has had so many ratings that they are doing a second season. Here's a question for all of you who can't stand the show or the newlyweds who are in it, why are you watching it if you hate them so much? To me that is very dumb! Because you are supporting the very thing that you say you hate, which hello, gives it ratings...so for all of you who just can't stand to watch the show, we have you to thank for watching because your about to get another dose. Enjoy 2nd season of newlyweds...coming soon!
I just read the above post. Nick Lachey, welcome to JTS...
This show jumped when I realized that Jessica thinks that being dumb makes her cute. I thought the chicken of the sea thing was quite funny but now she's walking around like being dumb is something to be proud of. Lastly, this show hasn't made them "popular". It's made them a little more well known but both of their albums completely flopped. They better make as much money from this show as they can because their music careers aren't bringing in anything.
i dont think that the show ever did --its so obvious from all the responses that people watch this show and love it--they must or they wouldnt know all the dumb stuff that jessica does --its funny as hell --and who doesn't like watching somebody make an ass out of themselves??
To the previous poster, we who "need to chill" are neither jealous nor envious of Jessica Simpson. What's there to envy about a spoiled, stupid, vain, selfish, lazy brat who depends on her equally clueless parents for everything short of wiping her ass? I don't envy her. At least I know the difference between chicken and tuna. I know that buffalo wings do not come from buffalo. I would never spend half my rent money on lingerie. And I know how to do laundry. So I ask you, what's there to envy? Nothing. Absolutely NOTHING!!
From day one! (I was so tempted to choose "Jessica is too dumb", but this show jumped the mintue it came on.) Who agrees to make shows like this, anyway?! This show is final proof that MTV has gone down the drain. Way to go, MTV (I'm being sarcastic, obviously.)
To the poster above who cries "Jealousy": Are you the same person who would complain if none of the above posters DIDN'T watch the show. We're ALLOWED to complain. And I applaud people who at least give it a shot before complaining, because at least they know what they're talking about. The other thing is "y'all need to stop hatin'" is one of the most stupidly overused phrases EVER. Find something better to say. People only use that phrase when they have no better argument to defend something that they like. Also, I have a question for you: Why on a supposed "reality" show would one make oneself appear stupid? Is this person smart enough to think that stupidity gets ratings? Well, as far as I can tell, no female blondie pop star girl is smart enough to be that savvy. The only female pop star that appears smart enough to find a way to appeal to the general public is Madonna, and she'd never stoop so low. As a matter of fact, isn't the tried-and-true TV formula that the GUY is stupid and the GIRL is the smart one?
I don't think that this show has ever jumped. Sure, Jessica says some stuff that is just too unintelligent for her own good, but do you think that you could trust a production team to base a show on only the intelligent stuff that she says? They are just trying to make a funny show with all the footage that they get from the moment the two of them wake up to the moment they fall asleep. She even said in an interview that it's too boring and too hard to think about every little word she says, even if doing it a little more than she has would help immensely. As far as Nick being a frugal freak, he may have gotten a lot of money from all the CD's 98 Degrees sold, but he had to split it with three other guys. Also, he isn't being frugal, he's being responsible. With some of the stuff Jess does and the entire male-protector-provider complex that all newlywed men get at some point, he is just doing what he has been taught to do. Besides, paying a maid to clean the house once a week for 120 bucks a week adds up. It's not as if she is living with them. Though that would be a good twist. So, stop bashing the show because of Nick's sense of responsibility and Jessica's "witty" remarks! If you don't like it, don't watch it. Or just bash something else about it.
Is it just me or does Jessica's dad seem on the perverted side? Do you remember when Jessica and Nick were in the bed making out during the "Sweetest Sin" video shoot and Jessica's dad was about two inches away from the bed, staring intently at the two making out in barely any clothes? It also seems like he is fixated on the idea of his daughter waiting to get married before she had her cherry popped. I understand he's her manager and a former minister, but something about the way he acts rubs me the wrong way....
Yes, it is hard to believe that one person, in this case Jessica Simpson, could be that dumb and still breathe and walk upright. But behold the power of editing, which could turn Stephen Hawking into a blithering idiot. Jessica has been being used as a cash cow by her mom and dad since she was a kid (if you pay attention to the credits, you'll see that her dad is the executive producer of the show). She was very popular in contemporary Xtian music for a while. I would imagine both she and Nick made the majority of their money off live performances--98 Degrees was HUGE in Europe, and if you're appearing in arenas and stadiums 200 times a year and taking in a percentage of the gate and merchandising, you'll be doing fine. I think Jessica is more naive and sheltered than actually stupid--and she and Nick went out long enough so that Nick probably figured that out early on. As long as Nick flaunts his impressive tattooed torso on a regular basis, I'll watch--with the mute on.
I don't think Newlyweds ever JTS. I enjoy watching the show and for all of you who keep saying crap about the people who are sticking up for the show need to stop. Everyone has their own opinions and if you have a problem with that than you have problems. And for all of you complaining about Jessica's ditziness, you just need to grow up. she can't help who she is, she's just like that and she's not going to change who she is for a bunch of whiny selfish jealous group of people. You all are stuck on yourselves. You need to realize that some people do enjoy watching the show. You're so stuck on yourself and what you want and you don't even think about other people's opinions. You must like the show a little if you apparently have been watching the show every week since you seem to know every detail of the show. I don't see why you didn't just quite watching it from the beginning since all you have to say about it is how stupid it is. Like the person from the poster above said, your just encouraging MTV and the producers of the show to continue with it cause when you watch it you are increasing the ratings. And another thing...since when is it wrong to save yourself for your spouse on your wedding night. I think that that was a very mature thing for Jessica to do. I believe that she actually did save herself because when she was a teenager her dad gave her a ring and had her promise that she would save herself. I don't know why everyone has to be so judgmental these days and always thinking that their way is the only way and if you aren't doing it your way then your stupid. Just do me a favor and quite making fun of Jessica...she is a person too and she has feelings. I can't believe that people can be so cruel and heartless. NICK AND JESSICA ROCK!!
Clearly this a farce of a marriage. Take blond moron and a not so dumb singer idiot and have them wed. Ok fine, what ever, but why do I have to be tortured by their relationship? Every damn word out of Jessica Simpson's mouth make me cringe with the outright stupidity that spews forth. Clearly Nick could care less about her as they seem to spend lots of time apart. I have not seen an honest affectionate moment between the two. It's as if he married his most annoying sister. BTW, does anyone even care about either of their music? Does it even sell? See, I don't know because I spend my time listening to good music (e.g. stuff you don't tend to see on MTV).
LMAO....judging from the tirade from the above poster, I can only conclude that Nick and Jessica's family read JTS on the regular.
Never Jumped. For those who think Jessica is so stupid and spoiled, I've got a few couples for you to consider. Think Pamela Anderson & Tommy Lee. How about Whitney Houston & Bobby Brown? Remember Dorothy Stratton & Paul Snider? Hey, I don't know too much about this Nick guy, but unlike the aforementioned men, he's ABOVE the rank of shaved ape. And Jessica had enough shrewdness to pick him.
It jumped the shark in the conceptual phase. It may have helped if they were interesting before they got married, but like the person above said it's kind of hard to watch someone spend $700 on two bras and a pair of panties when I am having trouble feeding my kids. Jessica isn't a stupid as she would have us to believe either, her little act is actually a goldmine for her. She's making millions. I actually think she has a beautiful voice and body..but she is not interesting at all to me.
I actually love this show, and I tried to figure out how people could find so much free time to dog on Jessica Simpson. Can it be that they looked in the mirror this morning and thought, "Hm, I am damn ugly and I think I feel like criticizing some random beautiful person I see". I think she is a great performer and a beautiful person and who cares what y'all say about her, she's better than Britney or Christina ANY DAY!!!
Never jumped ... yet. I think it's possible this show has reached it's peak ... we'll see when Season 2 comes out. There is some sick pleasure in seeing how the "stars" (even B-level ones) live, seeing a pop princess type wearing baggy sweatpants and with her hair messed up all the time. I always wonder what celebrities' lives are REALLY like. Not that this view of their lives is necessarily that authentic. But it's closer than most things we see. Also, they reminded me and my husband of US! We've been married a year and a half and are similar ages to them (I'm 23; he's 27). A lot of the dumb things they fight about are just things you fight about when you're newlyweds. It takes time to get used to marriage. Also, maybe I'm just a whiny spoiled brat, too, because my husband said Jessica is just like me. Only without the idiot comments about buffalo wings and tuna ... and I least I know how to do laundry! But I think maybe it's about being young and needing a lot of reassurance from your husband. I learned something about it in psychology that women are needier as newlyweds and men are needier at middle age ... who knows?
I know this show jumped from the start, and I was going to save myself the trouble of writing about such a pathetic show as this fecal matter. However, I have seen many of the above posters who mindlessly defend this show cry claims of jealousy at those who say this show sucks. I have news for you: I don't CARE about how rich or (allegedly) famous she is. She has done nothing for music (shamelessy destroying a classic such as "Jack and Diane" does not count as talent), and her husband is just the same. They are washed-up tools of the machine who has zero value for society. Looks do not EQUAL talent. I am willing to bet that these morons who voted never jumped are a bunch of Teenyboppers who does not know good music if it bit them in the behind. If you want to watch this crap, have at it. If you want to vote never jumped, be my guest. If you implicitly want to serve as the reason why today's music sucks, then don't let me stop you. But do NOT cry foul whenever someone is smart enough to see through this classless show and realize how much this show sucks. Morons.
Somehow i got to the web page while i was looking for information on the second season of newly weds and i just decided to read some comments. I have got to say there are some pretty twisted comments in here. I totally understand how people can hate the show. Jessica says some crazy stuff. But there is no reason to start up some web page about her flaws. Thats nuts. What does it matter if she didnt know whether "Chicken of the Sea" was chicken or tuna? Think about it, shes home at night, lounging around, probly tired, shes havin a snack and her and her husband are just talking about stupid stuff. That conversation was exactly the kind of stuff me and my friends (and acutally anybody i know) talk about. You people talk about her spoildness like shes hurting people. So what if she doesnt make her bed or do laundry or dishes? I am 18 years old and i still dont know how to do laundry, but its not becuase im stupid and it doesnt mean that im less of a person. The reason i dont is because my mother had 4 children, and a husband, thats 6 people in the house, she has a system and doesnt want to mess it up by having everyone do their own clothes. Jessica and Nick are rich. they can afford to not do their dishes for a week or never clean their house. you all mean to tell me that if u had their money, and the chance to just relax and not have to do chores, that you wouldnt jump on it? and i totally agree with those two other opinions about why watch it if u hate it. Most of you have wrote about how u hated this part and that part and this episode and that episode, why would you be watching so many of these shows if u really disliked it that much? now dont try and just throw that comment aside. im serious, like if i realy hated a show so much, id just turn the channel, not run onto the computer and try and find a place to vent about it. the bottom line is, nick and jessica are rich, their famous everyone knows them, they have cds, books, a freaking tv show, anything they could ever want. and you guys, have what? a computer? come on now, really try and tell me you arent jealous?
I just saw a VH1 driven on Jessica, and I have to say her mom and dad are SCARY. Her mother is living vicariously through her poor door from the age of 6 and her dad is obsessed with her virginity. He said Jessica and Nick's wedding was a happy day because he knew his daughter had saved herself and was giving her husband a pure gift. But he was sad, too, because he had always been the man in Jessica's life and now she was giving herself and her purity to another man. He even got her to wear a promise ring when she was a kid that promised the dad would be the only man in her life and she HAD to stay a virgin till she got married. Is it any wonder she married her first boyfriend?? I almost threw up listening to it. The whole family spent the wedding day thinking about the wedding night cuz they new Jessica was finally going to 'do it'. So scary.
I also saw Driven with Jessica Simpson. I have to agree that her family is creepy. I'm all for Christianity and virginity until marriage and all that, but her family does seem totally obsessed with her sex life. I don't have a very good opinion about Jessica Simpson, but after hearing her family I've eased up on her. I'd be trying to get away from those weirdoes myself. I couldn't imagine my dad saying things like that about me, especially on tv.
Look, I'm not going to lie to you. I enjoy this show. It's a half hour out of my day where I can check my brain at the door and be mildly amused. However, I see some trouble ahead. Nick better look out. If Jessica keeps buying him $55,000 watches for his birthday, they'll be filing Chapter 7 bankruptcy soon. She has no concept of money at all! What the hell is her major malfunction? When did the idea of buying a $55K watch seem like something she should do? Hasn't she seen the Behind The Music on MC Hammer? Hello!
I somehow don't think Nick and Jessica are all that rich...and I fully expect to see them on ABC as somebody's "celebrity" mole.
To the individual who posted about Jessica buying expensive items. Keep in mind that Jessica has the mental capacity of a doorknob so it's to be expected that she wouldn't know how to handle money. And about the MC Hammer special-MC Hammer was way more successful than Nick and Jessica can ever hope to be imo.
Jessica, the washing machine is not a nuclear weapon. It's not difficult to work. I think we can all safely agree that Jessica will not be asked to join Mensa.
Hey I don't know why everyone seems to have such a negative reaction to the show. I think it's like every other reality show. MTV airs "The Real World;" is that all that much better? I thinks Jessica Simpson is a nice person, has good music, and is now starting her own fragrance line. She's doing fairly well for herself. I think Nick married her because he loves her, looking pretty helps, but you don't need to get married to have someone pretty at your side. I know people have the right to bash the show as much as they want, but I give them credit for having some successes.
When I watch this show, I truly feel that the only way to cleanse myself is to find a CD of duets between Nick and Jessica, break it in half, and slit my wrists with it...repeatedly. The major reason why this is necessary is Jessica Simpson's borderline mental retardation. I think Nick really needs to go out and find her a nice, soft helmet for her. Her endless "Baby..." jabber to her husband drives me up the wall, so let's not even begin on the action idiocies that are uttered from her lipglossed mouth. I don't want Jessica to be the only one at fault for the show's horridness. It seems that everyone feels that she is too dumb, but Nick Lachey is a pig, kids. He is thirty-years-old and basically has Jessica around like his plaything. He talks to her like a dog. I'm sorry, but that's not love. This is Nick fulfilling a Lolita fantasy, I believe. I really hope these two never EVER reproduce and I pray that they both stop singing forever before I have to take their records and shove them down their throats myself.
This is just another reality show, where the "stars" are basically stroking their own egos by assuming that we care, want to see them do well, and want to peer into their personal lives. Not only did it jump the first day, but the shark is currently hunting Jessica down because he wants to throttle her and show her a thing or two about chicken of the sea. Whether her stupidity is an act or not, it's painful to watch. Nick's facial expressions are all one needs to see that he has no respect for a trophy wife that he is realizing is really no prize at all. Pretty to look at, sure, but so are strippers, and you don't see nice boys marrying them, do you? I see this marriage lasting about as long as the memory of this show when it is mercifully taken from our TV screens.
First off I want to agree 100% with the person who commented on Jessica's dad- he really scares me the way that he talks about Jessica's sex life-it's so gross and unnatural! I watch a lot of shows on celebs and Jessica is so spoiled! If she isn't careful she and Nick will be on welfare in a few years. The amount of money she spends and on what (1700 dollar sheets, nick's watch, 750 dollars for a bra) is ridiculous. Last night's episode was the Christmas episode and Jessica got a new car from Mommy and Daddy and she said something like "Finally i can stop driving my piece of crap three year old Mercedes" Even Nick made a comment insinuating how spoiled she is. And did anyone else notice that the entire family was wearing the same flannel pajama pants on Xmas morning when opening up their gifts. Everyone Nick, Jess, the parents and Jess's "actress" sis Ashlee from 7th heaven were all sporting the same pj's. What's up with that?
I'm 23 and I have to admit, I really enjoy watching this show every week, and my boyfriend even watches it with me so we can comment on some of the ridiculous things that happen. But I definitely have to agree with the above posters about Jessica's dad. I mean, it was totally creepy how he was watching them writhe around on the bed for her video and her shirt was basically see-through for the whole shoot. Also, when she jumped out of the cake for Nick's birthday and they show her coming up to Nick and dancing and shoving her boobs in his face, you can see in the background that her dad was watching them intently from the crowd. It really gave me the chills!! I mean, if I was her I would NOT want to do something like that in front of my family and his family, and why did her dad not look away, leave the room, do SOMETHING other that watch his daughter do that!! CREEPY!!
Thank God someone else noticed the matching PJ bottoms. And WTF is up with Nick getting Jessica jewelry (and presenting it in a cute way) and getting her new closet made - both very thoughtful gifts - and she gives him NOTHING? And her parents bought her a car? So, she pays her parents to be her 'staff' and they turn around and buy her a car with her own damn money? This family is insane. I grow to like Nick more each day, but man he is going to pay dearly for being willing to marry into this family just to get a piece of Jess's a*s.

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Postby kiki » Thu Mar 04, 2004 6:58 pm


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Postby BabyBlue2578 » Thu Mar 04, 2004 7:22 pm

<span style='color:blueviolet'>Well I agree that the show is pointless and the girl is dumb beyond belief, but if you followed around any other celebrity, the result probably wouldn't be much different. Besides, if you wanna talk about boring, try Carmen and Dave. :blink:

And as far as an unsuccessful attempt at publicity, that would be WRONG. They're the most famous married couple since Tom and Nicole. Jessica has a hit song all of a sudden. And people actually recognize Nick. Looks like it worked to me. :shrug:</span>

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Postby MooseMan » Sat Mar 06, 2004 2:31 pm


Kiki = Serious NUTCASE!! :crazyjump: koo-koo, koo-koo!

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