You Know What Stinks

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Angelpopstar7
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Postby Angelpopstar7 » Tue Jan 04, 2005 4:40 pm

Long distance relationships.... :(

especially when your parents don't condone interracial relationships :( :angry:

nuff said

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Postby whatchagot4meMRJT » Tue Jan 04, 2005 5:13 pm

:hug: Aww baby, that does stink. :nod: Just keep cool and realize that you'll be heading off to college in the near future, and then you'll get to experience a lot more freedom.

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Angelpopstar7
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Postby Angelpopstar7 » Wed Jan 05, 2005 4:14 pm

so its official...we're dating...not sure how the rents will take when or if they find out....hopefully they'll take it ok :unsure:

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Postby whatchagot4meMRJT » Wed Jan 05, 2005 5:26 pm

Ooooh, you're officially dating Andy? :yay: Do I have the right guy? :thinking: CONGRATS! Just don't tell the 'rents ... try to avoid that topic as much as possible. :lol:

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Postby justins bubbles » Thu Jan 06, 2005 3:03 pm

<span style='color:blue'>Yay for dating, Boo for parents! :D But Paige is right... college is just a seven letter word for fun and trouble! :party:</span>

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Postby Angelpopstar7 » Thu Jan 06, 2005 6:50 pm

yup its Andy you got the right guy...i know that theres just so many its hard to keep track of all of em :rofl:

He goes back to college this weekend and im going away this weekend so tonight was the last i'll get to see him till who knows when :shrug: But its ok :nod: And yeah the rents won't be finding out from me :rofl: shoo they'd kill me if they knew...well my mom more so than my dad

June 9th i graduate so that only 5 months and 3 days away :yay: after that i'm outta here...i already told my mom a while ago if things didn't change..like the day after i graduate i was leaving and she didn't believe me...oh she'll believe me when it happens :lol:

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Postby JTnTN » Mon Jan 17, 2005 12:37 pm

Aww, Heath. :hug: Long distance relationships are kinda funky, but some people say that absence makes the heart grow fonder. :nod: I don't, but hey... to each his own. :lol:

As far as your parents... forget 'em. Yes, you will be gone soon so you can bounce with pleasure when you throw them the deuces. :lol:

You know what's funny? I always thought 'college' had six letters until Sharry pointed that out. :no: :lol:

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Postby Angelpopstar7 » Tue Jan 18, 2005 10:45 am

it's good to see ya back around these parts Miss JT :yay:

so more bad news...my grandma has found out

on sunday night i was at her house to highlight my aunts hair and to dye mine back to dark brown and i was in my grandmas bathroom drying my hair and my grandma was like "well now you'll surely get the boys if you don't have one already" and i was like no i don't have one and she was like yes you do and i was telling her no and i began laughing hysterically and she knew that i was lying and i told her that i didn't want to tell her because she would kill me n then she'd tell the rest of the family and they'd kill me especially my aunt and my mom and she promised not to tell anyone so i just told her that like he's from Africa and a couple other things and she was like i told you i won't tell anyone and i won't

then yesterday i was out with andy, rachel and james (Rachel's boyfriend also from africa) and my grandma calls and she was like i need to talk to you where are you? and i was like i'm out shopping why? and she was like well i need to talk to you later on today. come by the house i don't want to talk on the phone. and she sounded really like upset so i thought that like my great-grandma died because shes been really sick lately so i was like really worried and when we got in the car to go to toys r us, andy and james were in their car behind us and rachel was like call your grandma and see if she'll talk to you so i called her and she told me is was about the whole andy thing and she said that he was just making a fool and laughin at me behind my back because hes not really from africa. his family might be but hes not and i was like no he came here from Sudan in 2001 his family doesn't live here and she didn't believe me she was just telling me that i'm making this big mistake and i need to talk to my parents and all this other ish and i was like if i tell them i won't have a place to live anymore i can guarantee it. your daughter will kick me out of the house. she never listens to me she just tells me that shes right and that i'm wrong and my opinions don't matter and all this other ish. and my grandma kept going on and on saying that all he was going to do was hurt me because thats all black guys do to you and i was like no they don't. any guy can hurt you. you need to make mistakes to learn from them. and then she started comparing me to my aunt again and i flipped out. i was like chris and i aren't two people. just because she makes horrible decissions with her life doesn't mean that i'm going to do the same thing as her. i would never do half the things that shes done in her lifetime. they're just stupid! and she just kept going and going and i'm sitting the car with tears streaming down my face about my boyfriend as hes in the car right behind me in the parking lot...all i wished for was that he stayed in the car and didn't come n see me because what would i have said to him "oh i'm sorry i'm crying because my whole entire family thinks that i'm being made a fool of by going out with you and that you're just going to hurt me"

it was cute though when i finally got out of the car it was obvious i was crying and he put his arm around me and he was like "are you in trouble" and i was like "it's nothing to worry about" and he was like "good because i don't want to get you in trouble" i was like aww! lol n i was talking to him last night online and he told me that he loves me and i was like uhhhh uhhhh i deff don't love you yet i'm just getting to know you so i had no idea what to say back to him :rofl: so i was like rach just tell him i got kicked off cause it was right when my computer was going to kick me off anyways lol

i don't know what to do man...like i can't date someone when my whole entire family is against it and doesnt believe me but then again i don't think that i should break up with him just because my family doesn't want me to date him.....ahhhh

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Postby BabyBlue2578 » Tue Jan 18, 2005 12:13 pm

<span style='color:ff0099'>:thinking: Wow, that really is quite the dilemma. I don't even know what to say. I don't know what I'd do if I even had half the predicament you were in. :no: Actually, my dad hates that I go out with white boys, but he's stupid and I don't like him anyway, so I hardly give a f***. :lol:

I definitely don't think that you should break up with him if you feel in your heart that he's a genuinely good guy. I'm sure you know that parents (or grandparents) don't know everything, so maybe you and Andy can teach them a little lesson about love and trusting the soul of a person instead of their physical appearance. OR maybe you and Andy can just be friends until you head off to college. After that, they have no control over what you do anymore. Especially since you'll be eighteen. :shrug: I know it's not fair to make him wait that long just because of your parents, but I'm sure he'd understand. Ya know, since he loves you and all. ^_^ :lol:

And :rofl: at you leavin' him when he said the magic words. :rofl:</span>

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Postby whatchagot4meMRJT » Wed Jan 19, 2005 12:15 pm

I know that you don't watch The O.C., but there was this hilarious episode where Marissa says, "I love you" to Ryan, and he's caught off guard, and says, "Thank You" in response. :rofl: Your situation reminded me of that. :lol: So, next time, just say, "Thanks!" It might work. :P

Anyway, I am sorry to hear that your family is not accepting of Andy, and more particularly, his race. I know my family would freak out if I did the same thing, so it's not just your family, believe me.

No matter how much progress we make as a country, in terms of racial equality and respect, issues such as miscegenation (race mixing) are still an inherent part of our societal fabric. It sucks, but many people of the older generations just can't move past the stereotypes they were raised to believe and propagate.

As I see it, you have to do what you want, in terms of dating Andy, or any black man, for that matter. Your attraction is your attraction, not your mother's, and not your grandmother's. I know that it's going to be hard to hear their criticism, so you just have to respect that they have their own opinions regarding the matter, but their opinions differ greatly from yours. Respecting another's opinion does not in any way mean adopting that same outlook.

If possible, it would be great if you could get them to see what you see in Andy, but that's not always the easiest solution, if they are firmly set in their ways! No pun intended, but this is a very black and white situation, it seems.

It's not like they're forbidding you from being out in public with him, so just enjoy the time you get to spend with him. When the negative comments start from your family, you're going to have to really try to do the "in one ear, out the other" method. That's what I do for things that I don't want to hear, and you'd be surprised, it does work. :lol: You can try to change their opinions until you're blue in the face, but that's nearly impossible to do.

Hope everything works out as it should! Just tell them that you dumped Andy for me ... that should get their feathers ruffled. Heaven forbid! :rofl: :rofl:

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Postby Bubble_Yum » Wed Jan 19, 2005 1:12 pm

:( :hug: thats such a shiitty problem!
I'm so sorry that you're having to go through this but like Ash said I'm sure he'll understand if you explain that you need to just be friends until you fly the nest.

I'm so sorry that your parents think like that. I'm lucky my parents are completely unprejudiced and are accepting and unjudging of everyone and I really hope one day everyone in the world will be too!

I suppose if you want to be optimistic you could be grateful that you didn't take on your parents prejudices. Sorry does that sounds rude?
I don't mean it to but it's just refreshing that you haven't followed your parents lead in that sense!
Anyway I'm going to stop digging now!

Oh Paige that was sooo funny but wasn't it 'I love you' 'you're welcome.' ?? Or did I completely make that up?! :unsure: :blink:

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whatchagot4meMRJT
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Postby whatchagot4meMRJT » Wed Jan 19, 2005 1:56 pm

Ooooooooooo yeah, it was "You're Welcome!" :rofl: When I typing that, I kept thinking that I had the joke wrong, but you know me, I typed it anyway. :stupidme: Thanks for pointing that out, Rooth-a-tooth! :nod:

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Postby mtvjunkie » Wed Jan 19, 2005 3:30 pm

:kiss2: I'm sorry to hear about your problem

Unfortunately I can't think of any advice to give :shrug: Sorry :( Just be glad you're not me, because I would have done something brash and stupid already, like get pregnant or something, just to spite my parents. I guess it's good that no one is interested in me :lol:

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Postby JTnTN » Wed Jan 19, 2005 3:58 pm

Oh dear, sweet Heather. :kiss: It's gonna be hard for you to get past this until you are able to appreciate and encourage the galvanizing effect of doing what you want and just not giving a f***. :lol: I know it's hard to go against the people that gave you life and all that crap - especially when harsh threats are thrown into the mix, but the fact is, they gave you life... for you to do what you want with it. So take it into your hands, make your own mistakes, create your own destiny and help your mom and granny grow with you. :hug:

Ah, and good luck. :lol: :blowkiss:

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Postby Angelpopstar7 » Wed Jan 19, 2005 9:54 pm

I want to thank each and every one of you from the bottom of my heart for all of your advice :hug: :blowkiss: it means more than you could ever know

for a while not too long ago, all i thought i wanted to do was run away because i couldn't take living with my family anymore....some days are good but the bad ones deff outweigh the good ones by far but i know that running away won't solve anything and i don't want them to start comparing me to my crazy aunt because that's what they'll do...not the aunt i was talking about before but my dads sister...apparently she didn't even invite my grandma to her wedding because she was mad at her :shrug: and i have a feeling thats whats going to happen with me n my mom...although i'm not planning on getting married anytime soon....at least not that i know of :unsure: :lol:

I've started apartment hunting for when i graduate and theres some really cute places out there which are cheap and Rach said that she'll be my room mate so that way its cheaper and all of that....i think that its the best thing right now...my family and i need time away from each other and that will give us what we need..i just need to actually go and get a job so that i have money to pay rent and all of that and plus with school i'm gonna have to pay for that too...money is gonna be tight but its for the best i suppose

for now, i'm not going to break up with him...at least i don't think so...after reading all of your amazing advice i realized that i need to stop trying to please everyone and just to live my life....we only live once and you need to have fun while your alive and if you keep on trying to make everyone else happy, when is there going to be time to make myself happy?

don't worry what you said didn't sound rude at all ruthy...in fact i've talked a few older people about this and they said they think its great that i'm trying to change other peoples opinions and all of that other kind of stuff :lol:

Don't be giving me any ideas Helena :rofl: Although that idea already went thru my head but getting pregnant isn't the way to solve anything...if anything it would make things worse cause i deff don't have the money right now to take care of a child


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