50 Ways To Know You're An a**hole

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Postby whatchagot4meMRJT » Thu Feb 03, 2005 10:05 am

Published February 02, 2005

Fifty ways you know you're an a**hole

By Christopher O'Connor*

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It's official, you're an a**hole if:

1. You like John Mayer.

2. You pop your collar (bonus points if you're a guy and the shirt is pink).

3. You take the Joey from Carmichael to the campus center even when it is warm out.

4. You're a Yankees fan.

5. At parties you pretend that you are more drunk than you really are to seem "cool."

6. You're that guy/girl.

7. You're majoring in a dead language.

8. You buy pre-torn jeans or you bought a baseball hat and intentionally frayed the brim.

9. You wear glasses and don't have a prescription.

10. You wear sun glasses inside or at night (exceptions will be made only for 80s pop sensation Corey Hart).

11. You wear a matching brown trench coat and fedora around campus.

12. You wear pants with writing across the ass.

13. You cannot think of anything to do with your free time that does not involve drinking.

14. You take "The Lord of the Rings" a little too seriously.

15. You get to class five minutes early just to chat up the teacher, then stay five minutes after to do the same. You do this in every single class that you take.

16. You answer every question in class - including the rhetorical ones.

17. You use the word 'summer' as a verb.

18. You drive a Hummer.

19. You think the Matrix actually exists.

20. If you have a mullet, you are awesome.

21. You refer to yourself in the third person (bonus points if you also use the royal we).

22. You like Paris Hilton.

23. You try to join a cappella groups to get chicks.

24. In your interactions with people, you tend to rely solely (or at least mainly) on your knowledge of movie and television quotes.

25. You use emoticons (bonus points if you use emoticons other than the defaults).

26. You use The Facebook for more than one hour a day.

27. You talk loudly on your cell phone in really obnoxious places.

28. Every person on your cell phone has a different ring associated with them.

29. You are a blonde girl from Connecticut.

30. You base your popularity on how many friends you have on The Facebook.

31. You express deep personal statements in your AIM profile.

32. You wear Uggs in the summer.

33. ...Or, if you wear Uggs at all.

34. You use AIM expressions in normal conversations, i.e. lol or brb.

35. You wear tiny skirts when the temperature is below zero.

36. When you get drunk, you resort to slapping and hand signals for communication.

37. You're the one in your group of friends that always ends up cross-dressing for parties.

38. You've heard people refer to you with the word 'sketchy' as a prefix to your name.

39. You change your away message more than three times in five minutes.

40. You travel to parties in groups of fifteen.

41. You wear jeans without butt pockets.

42. You're an RA and you hit on your residents.

43. You've puked in someone else's bed.

44. You ran the naked quad run with your underwear on.

45. You listen to emo or pop-punk and think you're hard.

46. When you talk on AIM, you type out your actions, i.e. *shrug* (bonus points if you follow such a comment with something along the lines of ROTFL).

47. You constantly bug your friends to write Viewpoints for the Daily.

48. Your voice raises a few octaves when you greet people.

49. You took this column seriously and got offended.

50. You spent a week writing a column about how everyone around you is an a**hole.

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*Christopher O'Connor is a sophomore whose major is undeclared.

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Postby whatchagot4meMRJT » Thu Feb 03, 2005 10:08 am

:rofl: Lots of those applied to me. Especially #1! :rofl: :rofl:


#1, 8, 16, 21, 22, 25, 33, 34, 41, 46.

I particularly like the ones about using emoticons in everyday speech. ROFL! LOL!

And the *shrug* one made me think of Heather immediately. :lol:

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Postby BabyBlue2578 » Thu Feb 03, 2005 10:57 am

<span style='color:ff0099'>I love that number one is what it is. :rofl: I guess there's no question about it. :lol:

But now, I shall go read the rest. :sprint:</span>

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Postby BabyBlue2578 » Thu Feb 03, 2005 11:02 am

<span style='color:ff0099'>DAYUM. But not like I didn't know it anyway. :lol:

1, 4, 9, 10, 12, 22, 25, 28, 34, 39 (not anymore), 41, 46, 48.

Yeah, I'm cool. B) :rofl:</span>

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Postby mtvjunkie » Thu Feb 03, 2005 11:12 am

I got: 1, 16, 24, 25, 34, 46

So therefore I'm less of an arsehole than you two :nana:

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Postby BabyBlue2578 » Thu Feb 03, 2005 11:27 am

<span style='color:ff0099'>:o How do you not love Paris Hilton? :nono: </span>

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Postby mtvjunkie » Thu Feb 03, 2005 11:32 am

Uh, because she's annoying :lol:

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Postby whatchagot4meMRJT » Thu Feb 03, 2005 1:26 pm

Helena doesn't love me. :lonely: I shall cry crocodile tears for eternity. Boo hissy hoo haaa hee. :cry:

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Postby mtvjunkie » Thu Feb 03, 2005 1:49 pm

:nana:

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Postby justins bubbles » Thu Feb 03, 2005 3:19 pm

<span style='color:blue'>Fun!


4. You're a Yankees fan.

13. You cannot think of anything to do with your free time that does not involve drinking.

14. You take "The Lord of the Rings" a little too seriously.

17. You use the word 'summer' as a verb.

22. You like Paris Hilton.

25. You use emoticons (bonus points if you use emoticons other than the defaults).

28. Every person on your cell phone has a different ring associated with them.

34. You use AIM expressions in normal conversations, i.e. lol or brb.

39. You change your away message more than three times in five minutes.

40. You travel to parties in groups of fifteen.

45. You listen to emo or pop-punk and think you're hard.

46. When you talk on AIM, you type out your actions, i.e. *shrug* (bonus points if you follow such a comment with something along the lines of ROTFL).

48. Your voice raises a few octaves when you greet people.


And now, I shall put this on my Xanga.


(And if you're wondering why I didn't apply to number 1, it's because I don't like Johnny Boy. I absolutely am utterly in love with him. :lol: ) </span>

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Postby JTnTN » Thu Feb 03, 2005 3:27 pm

1. You like John Mayer. (Love him!)

2. You pop your collar (bonus points if you're a guy and the shirt is pink).

4. You're a Yankees fan.

9. You wear glasses and don't have a prescription.

10. You wear sun glasses inside or at night (exceptions will be made only for 80s pop sensation Corey Hart).

12. You wear pants with writing across the ass.

13. You cannot think of anything to do with your free time that does not involve drinking.

14. You take "The Lord of the Rings" a little too seriously.

15. You get to class five minutes early just to chat up the teacher, then stay five minutes after to do the same. You do this in every single class that you take. ( I used to. :ph34r:)

17. You use the word 'summer' as a verb.

18. You drive a Hummer. (Does it count if I've driven one? :lol:)

21. You refer to yourself in the third person (bonus points if you also use the royal we).

22. You like Paris Hilton. (Loves it!)

25. You use emoticons (bonus points if you use emoticons other than the defaults).

27. You talk loudly on your cell phone in really obnoxious places.

28. Every person on your cell phone has a different ring associated with them.

31. You express deep personal statements in your AIM profile.

32. You wear Uggs in the summer.

33. ...Or, if you wear Uggs at all.

34. You use AIM expressions in normal conversations, i.e. lol or brb.

39. You change your away message more than three times in five minutes.

41. You wear jeans without butt pockets.

43. You've puked in someone else's bed. (I was sick though!)

46. When you talk on AIM, you type out your actions, i.e. *shrug* (bonus points if you follow such a comment with something along the lines of ROTFL).

48. Your voice raises a few octaves when you greet people.


:yay: I got half of them! :rofl: So am I a bigger a**hole than everyone else? :lol:

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Postby mtvjunkie » Thu Feb 03, 2005 3:31 pm

Yeah but we all knew that, it's part fo your charm ^_^ :P

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Postby justins bubbles » Thu Feb 03, 2005 3:32 pm

<span style='color:blue'>Why is the term 'bigger a**hole' so not attractive. :lol: ew. </span>

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Postby mtvjunkie » Thu Feb 03, 2005 3:35 pm

:rofl:

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Postby JTnTN » Thu Feb 03, 2005 3:43 pm

I'm sure it's attractive to some people. :nod: Ya know, like prisoners and stuff. :lol:

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Postby justins bubbles » Thu Feb 03, 2005 3:53 pm

<span style='color:blue'>:lol: Man... it's amazing what goes on in this world. </span>

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Postby whatchagot4meMRJT » Thu Feb 03, 2005 4:14 pm

The bigger the ass ... hole, the easier to pass ... sh**. :shrug: :lol:

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Postby justins bubbles » Thu Feb 03, 2005 4:53 pm

<span style='color:blue'> :huh: Paige.









:rofl:</span>

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Postby whatchagot4meMRJT » Thu Feb 03, 2005 4:55 pm

:lol:

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Postby mtvjunkie » Thu Feb 03, 2005 5:12 pm

:mellow: I choose not to comment












:blink: :lol:

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Postby Angelpopstar7 » Fri Feb 04, 2005 11:53 am

:rofl: Paige :rofl:

2. You pop your collar (bonus points if you're a guy and the shirt is pink).

8. You buy pre-torn jeans or you bought a baseball hat and intentionally frayed the brim. (i'm getting pre-torn jeans for my birthday :rofl: )

10. You wear sun glasses inside or at night (exceptions will be made only for 80s pop sensation Corey Hart).

12. You wear pants with writing across the ass.

15. You get to class five minutes early just to chat up the teacher, then stay five minutes after to do the same. You do this in every single class that you take. (i do that with my graphic arts teacher :rofl: )

21. You refer to yourself in the third person (bonus points if you also use the royal we).

22. You like Paris Hilton.

25. You use emoticons (bonus points if you use emoticons other than the defaults).

27. You talk loudly on your cell phone in really obnoxious places.

34. You use AIM expressions in normal conversations, i.e. lol or brb.

35. You wear tiny skirts when the temperature is below zero.

41. You wear jeans without butt pockets. ( i am right now :rofl: wait do they just means pants without pockets right? cause thats what i'm wearing :rofl: )

43. You've puked in someone else's bed. (i was sick and it was my grandparents :rofl: )

46. When you talk on AIM, you type out your actions, i.e. *shrug* (bonus points if you follow such a comment with something along the lines of ROTFL). (oh thats soo me its scary! :rofl: )

48. Your voice raises a few octaves when you greet people.


i've got 15 out of 50 :rofl:

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Postby whatchagot4meMRJT » Fri Feb 04, 2005 3:58 pm

ASS! :lol:

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Postby Angelpopstar7 » Sun Feb 06, 2005 10:40 pm

i know :rofl: at least i aint ashamed to admit it :rofl:


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