Underneath It All

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laura
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Postby laura » Tue Apr 05, 2005 3:52 am

<span style='color:green'> Underneath it all

Can you believe it? A year! A whole year has past since Trace and Elisha's wedding, i loved that day. The ceromony went of without a hitch thank god! The recption was amazing, two large white tent-like structures filled with roses of every colour,tables decorated with centre pieces that would put Martha to shame! It was truely wonderful.After that things calmed down considerably they jetted off on their honeymoon to figi and hawaii,and italy- i guess they couldnt decide? And Justin and I,well we "came out" to our families so to speak and admited what i think they all knew that we were getting married. Everyones reaction was to be expected, my mother was no exception.As much as her atttude towards justin had changed she still freaked but came around eventually.Now I know i was only 19, i didnt say we'd get married right then and there now did i? Dont be silly...

So there we were an engaged couple, but not only that i was engaged to a man that millions were extremely interested in and news of our happy event quickly spread, i mean like wildfire! it was scary the things that happened after that the press interest seemed to quatdruple in size- i mean usually i could go about my daily businness and ignore the stakerazzi but after we confirmed the rumours it was insane it got so bad i could go to work any more unprotected and as you've seen justin security isnt exactly the most cloak and dagger now are they?Yeah....it got to the point where i was so stressed out i quit my job! i know im crazy! Enough with the judging looks!

So there i was turning twenty and unemployed....not the smartest of ideas ill grant you but justin being the honey that he is convinced me to look at it as a "extended vacation" from all the years of study and hard work,so for at least eight months we did just that-travelled and just were generally "couply" much to everyones disgust.Mainly his fans i mean i know they dont really know me but still it stings when they mouth off about things they dont understand.

But being me im dealing with it all with grace and a smile a thing i know bugs the photgraphers when they're trying to dig dirt up on us! Early on in the relationship i made a desion - we weren't going to move in together it might seem silly and believe me hes fought me on the subject and i know he's got a point im basically there all the time anyway but im standing strong,besides we've been in LA a total of what? six or seven weeks in the last year.

Yeah im spoiled we've been everywhere its insane really ive would have never believed there were so many beautiful places, its so much different seeing them in person and sharing them with your one and only- well that just makes it so much better! The trip home to Ireland was....interesting to say the least see my crazy ass family were meeting justin i was scared - for him!.But it went well no fights no blood so thats a good sign and hey my mum even warmed to him a shock im sure you'll agree, but ok he bought her a car and basically kissed her ass the entire week we stayed with them but can you blame him?

So here we are back in LALA land and getting ready for our New Years party,and since the house was redecorated in our extended absents getting use to were things were was a challage!

"Av..where are my shoes? They...i had rows of the damn things a few months ago!!"

Hearing the familar whine come from the other room that i knew at least used to house his extensive collection of clothes and footware i made my way over still only managing to decide on my underwear.

"well im sure they havent gone far,i mean hey its not like they got feet and walked is it." rounding the door i ind him still searching scraching his knewly shaven head and smirking "yeah very funny what are you the new Ellen now?"

"naw....i don't fancy you as much as she does!"

The raise left eyebrow was all i needed to know what was coming,as he padded his way towards me in only black boxsers i knew what we had started earlier was exactly over......

"is that right? your just full of sarcasim aren't ya,arrogant even..."

"well...i learned from the master did i not...." Hey i always gave as good as i got when it came to witt,why let him win just because he has that knowing look plastered over his face.

"ummm,yeah i guess you did...i've taught you a lot huh...."
The closer he got to me the more i knew i wasnt getting out of that room not at least till he got what he wanted.

"No, im sure ive taught you more than my fair share sweetie...but yeah i guess you have although i am having a little trouble remember just what exactly it was that you taught me." The tone of this conversation was exactly like it had been the past week totally and completely playful not to mention laced with sexual suggestion.

"well,maybe i need to refresh that memory of yours" the cocky grin was almost enough to make me give in but i was standing strong,we didnt have time since guest where already arriving and the god send that is lynn was as always handing it in her stride.

"Justin..honey as much as i'd love to rematch-we so dont have time i havent picked an outfit and your not dressed and you take longer than me...and..." Stopped instantly mid sentence he came down on her pressing her against the door she stood in front of gripping her by the buttox tugging slighly at the little clothing she pocessed. "seriously we really dont have time for this...i have to get ready, plus your mom is just down-"

"shhh,girl dont ruin it...."

As the couple gave in to temtation yet again Ava was having a difficult time containing herself but knowing there were people besides themselves in the house help keep her voice low at least. Almost there it felt like her entire insides where about to explode,and by the familar curse from her fiancee she knew it would only be a matter of seconds before things got really out of hand.The cries of passion that managed to escape her lip where muffled only by his bare shoulder-his by her hand.....

"justin have you seen...." The wide eyed person that entered the room just at that second got a lot more than they barganed for. Two semi-naked people in a very compromising position. "Ava........" she trailed off as she gasped at her son and his girlfriend.
And just at that second when they both realised they had been discovered, control slipped on both counts and it happend...

"f***....aw sh**..." was all that could resgister with either of them as he lost complete control of his body as did she, just as his mother shot out of the room as quickly as she entered.
"OHMYGOD!!!!" </span>


so wha'dya think???? :unsure:

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Postby whatchagot4meMRJT » Tue Apr 05, 2005 7:23 am

:yay: :yay: :yay: Laura, I'm so glad to see this. :yay: I was hoping you would go ahead and do the sequel, so thanks, sweetie. :kiss: :kiss:

:rofl: @ them getting caught. Not the greatest position to be in right now. Justin just can't control himself when it comes to the sex department. :P

I love how they're traveling around and getting to be with one another, but the old stalkerazzi is going to drive them insane. :no:

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Postby laura » Tue Apr 05, 2005 10:03 am

ok i guess i should have done this a few stories ago? but hey this is me we're taking about see we'll over look it? :ph34r: but yeah this is how i see the cast.... i think....but if you see em differently please let me know...i really dont mind!

1000women.net/images/photos/sexy-woman.jpgAva

http://p099.ezboard.com/fjjboardpictures.showMessage?topicID=36134.topicJustin

jamesshirley.com/hotties/Elisha/Elisha007.jpgElisha

And you know everyone else!!!!!! :ph34r: lata! :D

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Postby whatchagot4meMRJT » Tue Apr 05, 2005 10:09 am

Everybody is lookin' good. :nod:

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Postby laura » Mon Apr 11, 2005 3:53 am

Hi again,i should warn you i did alot of writing on this over the weekend and it looks like some longass chapters...sorry.... :unsure: and it took a turn i wasnt expecting,but im having fun with...so i just hope you like it...that's all!

<span style='color:green'>"No,tell me she didnt just see all of that....justin tell me that DIDNT just happen..."

"oh no, it did....she saw...she saw me...dude she..."

"yaha!!! she saw us having sex! your mother saw us naked and....oh
jesus!!! Justin what are we gonna do!!!!!" Getting up and repostioning her underwear to where she figured they should have stayed, he did the same.

"well getting dressed might be good...and after that we could just try and ignore it...."

"Yeah like thats gonna happen...."

Some twenty minutes later after what was the quickest i've ever gotten dressed and did my hair and make up as did my wonderful boyfriend who i swear i would kill if he had told me to "calm down" one more time before we left that room.

Dressed im one of my new outfits that i had chosen without looking i was so flustered.My pink valentino silk wrap dress matched with my b****'in mules still didnt put me at ease. So there we were justin had it easy, jeans and a shirt black open collar was always a great look on him and even more so now with the new tan lack of facial hair and the buzz cut. I on the other hand was having a more difficult time no matter how stylish i appeared i had a feeling that the entire party would know and like lynn see me in only my birthday suit!!

As more and more guests arrived and i had to play head hostess i felt like dying each time i'd catch lynn's eye and i knew she knew how badly i felt and have a really good idea that she wouldnt exactly let it go.

"so Ava, everything ok?" Coming towards me i knew that grin,that smug "i've got something on you grin" justin wore the same one at times.

"Lynn, of course everything's fine...are you enjoying yourself? I really didnt expect this amount of people to show up, i dont think i've heard of most of them"

With the annoncement of a new album about to be public knowledge i wasn't at all surprised at the amount of people that showed but what else was i gonna say right?

"yeah, its been an interesting evening to say the least,dont you think?"

I wanted to curl up and die i inwardly chringed as i knew fine well what she was getting at.

"Ahuh."

Making my way back into the new kitchen that i was still finding my way about i looked for some more wine glasses as she entered the room behind me.

"So sweetie when exactly are you and j' gonna start planning this wedding, he keeps avoiding the subject."

See the thing about lynn was for the last year all shes wanted was a big hopla of a wedding just like trace and elisha's,we on the other hand wanted something more "us" a little family few friends- nothing that could really draw attention to us. But it was what she wanted and something else,something that was the real reason she was putting the heat on about a wedding- she wanted nothing more than a whole bundle of "grandchildern" yup thats right FROM ME!!!! A little tip, try and fall for a guy with sisters that way the pressure to co-produce will be a whole lot less.

"Well.We want to wait you know that." finding the glasses i handed them to the waitress that in turn began filling then with the 1954 red.

"You guys have been waiting... A year actually.....dont you think its time that you guys made it official?"

"well..yeah but come on is there really any rush at the end of the day it wont really change anything we love each other now just as much as if we were married so -"

With that i was cut off as she came to my front and it was as she almost grew in size she became intimitating something she hadnt been since the first night they met.

"Actually Ava it'll make a big difference, for one you'll finally be living under the same roof full time, you'll be his wife and him your husband,and you can start planning a family...."

See told you!

Pushing my way past her i made it to the door and turned to face her again.

"Lynn...come on lets just enjoy the party ok we can talk about this later,ok?"

Seeing my wonderful fiancce at the other side of the room i instantly
made a b-line for him he seemed to be in deep conversation with some guy.I'd never seen him before.So inturrupted quietly slipping by his side.

"Hi,sweetheart-everything okay?" With a knowing look i knew what he meant.

"great,and you..."

"just great" leaning in he kissed her lightly on the cheek turning his attition to the man in front of him

"Ava this is Brian McKnight,Bri-my fiancce Ava!" he was excited,more than that he was proud and that made her so happy.

Taking the extended hand in frot of her she shook it greeting him as she did so.

"Ava, i've heard so much about you trust me girl this guy does not stop taking our ears off about you."

Blushing uncontrollably as she always did when she was any kind of compliment.

"Well thank you,"turning upwards she met his sparkling blue eyes "and thank you too..."

"He's one very lucky guy,dude you said beautiful.... but, well he sold you short is all i can say."

Seeing Both Mr and Mrs Alaya walking through the door i excused myself and made my way like a good little hostess to greet them.

"Glad you guys could make it what took so long any way?"

"Uh girl dont talk about traffic i swear since we moved across town its been hell!!! We where backed up for like a half an hour!!

"Well maybe if you hadnt taken two hours to get ready then MAYBE we would have gotten here sooner." Trace's expression as well as his tone was enough for me to know that yes i wasnt going to interfere.

"Well Trace i wasnt the one that forgot to fill the car up with gas and then had to go BACK home to change his pants because he spill the damn oil on the other ones now was i???"
And thats how the bickering began and continued till at least one of them had at least three drinks.

Oh yeah thats the kind of life i really WANT to rush in to....

At exactly three minutes to midnight i found myself being dragged out of conversation with Carmen and Dave and being led by the hand in to the study which was now housing recording equiptment that was to be placed in the new state of the art recording studio that was now near the back of the estate.

"Justin please tell me why i was dragged away like that,it was kinda rude dont you think?" Closing the door behind him he turned to her a goovy smile plastered all over his face.

"I mean come on we're gonna miss the big count down in like a minute...And no way am i missing Maroon5!!"

"Ava do you know where we are?"

Was he drunk?Looking around not that she needed to,she just
shrugged sarcasicly and answered

"well.yeah The study..."

"And what time is it?"

"J,honey are you high again we talked about how stupid you act on that sh**...i-"

"Ava,ok i'll spell it out...its exactly...one year since we-"
Suddenly feeling extemely sheepish as it dawned on her exactly what he was getting at.

"Ohh...awe honey...thats what you...."

He walked into her embrace but quietened her with his finger as the crowd outside cheered.

"shh.... " 5,4,3,2,1 Happy New year
Getting down on one knew he reached for her left hand kissed it gently and said,
"Will you marry me....Again?"

Smiling as if my life depended on it i couldnt help but be bowled over by the capasity my man had for romantic guestures. "Of Course i will....again... I love you..."

Looking skyward as if he was thinking it over before reponding.
"yeah...i know-oh,and i guess i love you too!"

Sarcastic ass!

"Bye you guys thanks so much for coming!" Waving off the last of the guests to leave namely jc and Eva who where a little more than three sheets to the wind,more like five or six really.Plus Jc was so inebriated that he kept teasing both Eva and Ava about havin "like the exact same names!" apparently he found it side cracking? It wasnt really that funny but oh well...

See another thing about the last year i should have mentioned? the genius that is me...i managed to get both Justin and Jc talking again, can you believe it? After all that old hoe did to try and not make that happen and i still pulled it off...

At the CFTC in Miami in the summer they were all thrown together-and i finally got to meet them all...and the teen inside me almost exploded....but anyway yeah..so i basically locked them both in the changing rooms after one of the basketball games and i waited outside where i met the incedibly funny
Eva Longoria,that girl rocks....And got me thinking about needing a gardener?

Back to my point...So yeah after i guess was a lot of silence and a lot of blame,a few punches a bloody nose(jc's) and some talking i guess they realised that their friendship was a lot more importaint than a roll in the sack with a woman that looked like a 12 year old.
So the summer went smoothly after that,till the kid took sick and needed blood....knew she'd make a crap mother....anyway turns out Jc's wasnt a match!!!! He wasnt the father either.....See when justin had the test done and it wasnt his, both he and jc just assumed...Diaz forgot the little detail that she was sleeping with the wardrobe boy on her film set too...so yeah that was that for her i guess...So Jc was free to move on.

"ah...thank god thats over." Picking up some glasses that where lying at the door justin locked it and made his way beside Ava on the sofa by this time she had already fired her shoes in the closet and was rubbing them trying to ease the tension caused by the heel.

"i know!i didnt know Americans could drink so much i figured us Irish had you all on that...but no tonight i was proved wrong...."
Smirking he gently reached down for her now swollen feet and began rubbing causing Ava's head to fall back it felt so good!
"Huh,never would i thought rubbing a tipsy girls feet at 5;30 in the morning could be so nice..but it is,that feel good?"
"aw so good you have noooo idea.And im Not tipsy 'Mr-i-cant-drink- i-must-mingle' okay.How'd that go any way....."

"Good...i think, i dont know ive basically booked pharell and chad now bri,and a few others are in the pipeline so i just gotta get it finalised you know..."

"ahuh well thats good right? I mean you work really well with those guys last time...why tempt fate right?"
"i Guess i just...im not sure,what if they dont want me any more what do i do then?"

"They?The fans?"

"Yeah...." He let her feet fall to the floor as he got up.She knew this was a subject that was weighing heavy on his mind.

"Baby...they love you..they do, trust me on that ok?"
"But what if-"

"NO! stop with the 'what if's' ok? Trust me! They will be there, like always no matter what you do,as long as you do something! Now...please lets go to bed before i pass out!"

Making their way up the sprawing stair case he could help but hope,against hope that she was right after all over a year out of the spotlight had to have changed something right?

Over the last year alot of things had changed and some things had stayed the same i got engaged,justin made two movies both excellent by the way,Trace and Elisha where locked in marital "bliss" and Paige,ah Paige what could you say about her... Well for one her relationship with Chad ended.Not exactly on a sad note for her since she was sorta seeing someone else at the time, that someone being John Mayar....Yeah so shes a happy bunny right now,raids my wardrobe like theres no tomorow but hey thats what i think im here for? Im like her own personal rodeo drive i think? See the thing about hanging off the arm of Mr Timberlake is that no matter normal we are at home,going out certain things are expected....He says he doesnt care what i look like but i do! i mean come on we've all seen The Diaz and The Spears in public and man do they look rough! I refused to go down that way ive always had pride in my appearace and he knows that too..

The next few weeks consisted of Ava and i not seeing all that much of each other,i was busy which i guess was a good thing.I had meeting after meeting with producers and she was off to Memphis for my grans birthday-she figured at least one of us should be their and my gran loved her so it worked if she was alone.And before that she was gone with Elisha to london for a week,posing as her "assistant" promoting her new film....basically an excuse to shop,but she deserved fun so i didnt mind.With at least 100 possible songs that i had personally penned over the last year being looked at and discussed as well as themes,titles and the over all feel for it i was beginning to remember why i took such a long break in the first place! The pressure of a follow up to such a massive album was scaring the crap out of me and the main reason i've avoided it for so long was the simple fear of failure.

"hey honey hows the meetings going?" her voice was filled with concern and a hind of sorrow?

"oh you know blah blah themes blah blah...what we want,same bullsh** its jive you know how it is."

"Ahuh yeah but your ok right i mean your not still freaking are you i mean the other night i thought id have to admit you some place with soft walls?"

Smiling he was truely thankful he had her in his life she had such a funny way with words.

"No baby im fine, how bout you...everything down there ok? Hows gran she ok?"

"OOh yeah angry as hell your not here i think your other cousins feel that there not exactly what she wanted? i think your the favourite....typical really....shes having cake right now....and whisky,nice."

"you flying home tonight..."

"yeah in a few hours actually.But i still have stop at my place to pick up
a few things im running out of clean things at your place.But i shouldnt be too late."

"baby i still just dont understand why you dont just move in with me,your there all the time anyway why not make it offical?" His voice had that tone,that tone that made me feel like a complelte fool for not doing it-but i had my reasons.

"Justin come on,we've had this disucussion...."
"I Know we have but that was like what? 9 months ago,things are a lot different now then we were not telling everyone that we're getting married...Now sweetie everyone knows whats the big deal"

Letting out a long breath that she hoped gave him all the hints he needed to back off she instantly changed the conversation "Well i gotta go...get my things together and then your mom's leaving me to tha airport...so i guess i see you?"

"Ava...im sorry...i dont mean to pressure -"

"No,no....its fine...but i have to get off here so ill see you tonight sometime.love you."

"ok...love you too..."

Hanging up on him she realised that she instantly froze up at the mention of "official" She knew she knew why but was having more than a little bit of trouble admitting it to herself let alone anyone else.

Crossing on to the intersection heading to the airport with my further mother-in-law gabbing on and on about her friend Sally daughter who "just had twins...and how adorable twins where..." Huh bet she didnt think how "adoreable" it would be to push them out of poor sally's daughter now did she? I knew where she was going with it but i chose to ignore it-for as long as possible at least.

"Av,have you and justin discussed kids yet?"

God she just wont give up will she?

"um...kind of...not really..."

"Ahuh...so what are you two thinking?" Her interferace was excepted normally i welcomed it i mean other than trace she did know him best so she was alway good with advise as far as her son was concerned but sometimes i wished she'd just butt out!

"Uh...i...we want to wait till we're married at least a couple of years."
The look of sheer shock that crossed her face i swear i thought we were gonna crash!

"Years?? Are you kidding?"

"Whats wrong with that?"

"N-Nothing its just...well justin always talked about being a young
farther and -"

"Lynn hes only 25?And i'm only 20 whats the big deal....we're still young whats the rush?"

"Yes i know sweetheart your 21 in June yes? And hes 26 in a few weeks i just....think you two should be prioritising thats all, and your not exactly busy right now are you it would be a perfect time to get preg-"

With that Ava's blood boiled right through her entire body she felt it she was not being told what to do with her body!
"LOOK LYNN I KNOW YOU ALL MEAN WELL AND EVERYTHING BUT THIS IS NONE OF YOUR DAMN BUSINESS!!! ITS MY BODY! I DECIDE WHAT GROWS INSIDE IT AND WHAT DOESNT OK?" Never in the almost two years that they knew each other did either of them ever raise their voice to one and other it was expected that Lynn was as shocked as she was.

"Ok...calm down im...sorry i didnt know 'we' were pressuring you....i'll just,mind my own from now on."

Instantly she regretted her little out burst and not one more word was said till they reached the airport where Ava exited the car without one word.
The entire plane ride to LA all she could think about was just how sorry she was that she yelled like she did,Ava rarely lost her cool but when she did god would need to be looking over the one that made it happen-but she also hated confilct and loved to resolve things a.s.a.p....She had a feeling it would take alot this time.

"So what times she in?"

"In...a half hour...dude i miss her and its only been what... two weeks...its weird the house feels so..."

"Empty?" trace finished off for him as he handed him his beer.

"yeah...its unreal how much i need her man..."

He just nodded along smirking.

"Whats with the look?"

"Nothing.....its-just wait till you get married....things mulitply..the highs are amazing having that person who knows you inside out sharing the best moments with you....nothing like it..."

"And....the lows?"

"Same thing,that person knows you inside out,they know what makes you tick what makes you mad, and unfortuneatly what turns you on...which leaves you know choice to give in to them no matter what..."
There male bonding was inturrpted with the buzzing of justin's phone.
"must be the mrs..." Trace joked taking another swig of his beer.
"na,its my mom.?"
"Whats up ma?....wait what? hang on mom whats wrong? she..she said what?.....no...ma stop crying, im sure she didnt...ma please..."

Trawling her bags up the stairs to her appartment that she hadnt set foot in,in at least 3 months she wasnt looking forward to the smells she would be greated by.
But opening the door she realised that it was...clean? And her mail was stacked up neatly on the kitchen counter along with a note "hey,yeah i had to use this place as a lil getway for me and my man,i clean up and i swear i replaced the sheets,pillowcases and cover so no worries....oh and i left some food in the fridge just in case you stop by here...ever? love ya!
paige
xxx"


Well it was nice to know someone was using her place at least, looking around she realised how nice it was to have her things around her.Not that she wasnt comfortable at justins or that he wouldnt allow her things,he actually incouraged her to bring over somethings- it was her that didnt what to.
Settling down with some coffee and digestives she heard her phone go off in her purse.
"Low?"
"Ava-"
"Honey...hi...im at my place i should be home in like-"
"Av,what did you say to my mom?" His tone was full of accuaction meaning it was a dumb question,he already knew.
"Well. we had a disagreement..."
"Yeah she said you yelled at her..Ava what the f*** happened,she called me in tears, that has never happened!!! What did you say?"
"Wait what makes you think this was my fault?"
"Ava come on..."
"What?Jesus your being all weird just because i had one argument with her...yeah i got mad but damnit i had a right to.. she was telling me what i should be doing right now with my life and my body....namely getting knocked up so i can become the baby factory she wants from us justin and thats not fair!!!"
"Its not,but it didnt give the right to-"
"What?Defend myself? Well excuse me....i didnt see the agreement in "our " relationship where it says i have to kiss her ass as well as yours....then take all her sh** about sh** she doesnt know sh** about!!"
By then end of her sentance she was completely yelling at him he didnt quiet know what to make of it.
"Ava...i get it ok..but still...i think you should apologise, like right now she was so upset."
"JESUS WHAT IS IT WITH YOUR FAMILY....YOUR MOM, YOU, YOUR GRANDMOTHER ALL TELLING ME HOW TO LIVE MY f***ING LIFE!!! THE LAST TIME I CHECKED 2die4jewels.com/images/sets/81assett%20(22).jpgTHIS RINGON MY FINGER WASNT CHAINED TO YOU OR YOUR MOTHERS APRON STRINGS SO WHY DO YOU ALL JUST BACK THE HELL AWAY FROM ME!!"
" Jesus girl...whats wrong with you....stop yelling at me im just trying to talk to you...calm down!!!"
"OH....what i cant yell now is that not allowed either...like i cant go shopping with out someone by my side to 'protect' i cant be by myself at all because getting married to you means being trapped in this bubble where things aren't my own!!!!!Not even my own womb now is that it justin? And now i cant even speak my mind what the f*** is that?"
"i cant talk to you like this im comin' over..."
"NO! I DONT WANT YOU TO COME OVER OK....I WANT TO BE ALONE!!!"
"Av...come on i miss you,your tired and cranky i get it...planes drive me nuts too...let me just come over there and we can be alone ok?"
"NO, GOD DONT YOU LISTEN...I-WANT-TO BE-ALONE!!!JESUS..."
And with that the line went dead....She hung up on him....

On hanging up the phone she instantly burst in to tears,and even then she didnt know why....or did she?

That night was the first night in the longest time that she had to cry herself to sleep,alone in a big cold bed.But she didnt see any other way,she knew she was losing control her behaviour was completely insane,she figured it was just that time of the month...Wait what was the date again?

The next morning after very little sleep i work up and franticly searched for my date book adding things up and finding the familiar red circle at two weeks ago my heart isntly began to beat at a rate off the charts,"no...i...no... two weeks?" It was impossible. Wasnt it?</span>

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Postby whatchagot4meMRJT » Mon Apr 11, 2005 8:07 am

Some much drama, so little time. See, that's why I love this story. :wub: :wub: And because I get to go out with John Mayer! :yay: :yay: That made my morning, and, yes, there was squealing involved when I read that. :lol:

It seems like there's trouble in paradise between the young lovers. Ava's young and that's a lot of pressure to constantly be told about getting married and having kids so soon. I would be running away from everybody if that kind of pressure was being put on me. Just let her and Justin take things naturally. They'll know when it's right!

I wonder if she's pregnant? It might be all the stress, though. That could be interesting bringing a baby into all of this. :thinking:

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Postby laura » Mon Apr 18, 2005 3:53 am

<span style='color:orange'>
ooooook,this one isnt as long as i thought but i needed a mini cliff hanger...so,well enjoy!!!!!!!! :lol: </span>


<span style='color:purple'>"Ava...come on sweetie i know your mad at me,but please just let me in...." I yelled throught the speaker outside her building feeling like an idiot not knowing if she was even there or not since she hadnt answered my calls,Elishas calls or even Paiges calls in two full days.i'll admit i sulked a little after our row, but hey what else did you expect she'd hurt my pride and i didnt want to be the one to aplogise.Now i was worried,no more than that i was terrified something had happened to her.

"look i know your here,so you might as well buzz me up....please Av.."
Standing inside her door she hit the enter button,if only to stop all the hollerin'.A few seconds later she heard the familar knock,so making herself as presentable as possible she went to answer.

On seeing her his face lit up,at least she was alive!Althought she really didnt look it her face was pale and drained,her eyes were al puffed out-she'd been crying!

"Ava...baby whats wrong...where the hell have you been we've all been worried sick about you..."

Almost ignoring him she walked to the kitchen and finished off her bottled water as he came in beside her.

"well?"
"I just needed some time...im sorry if you worried i just-"

"Well yeah i worried sweetie! Come on it's me here! Talk to me please"
Looking down at her oversized sweater she strated fidgeting with its hem avoiding his stare.
Her voice was as low as a whisper.

"Its..nothing i was just mad...i needed to just think i...dont know what else to say except im sorry for yelling at you...and your mom....i'll apoligise."

"I dont care about all that....Ava we have all been worried about you,no one cares that you yelled really sweetie just tell me why you were crying.."

"I CANT..." The small sobs that escaped her then made him feel so helpless so he did the only thing he could think of he walked over to her and huged her tight trying everything in his power to make her feel at least a little better.

"you know you can tell me anything...whats wrong please!"

"im...oh god justin i knew we were testing it and asking for trouble,but i never thought it would happen at least not now of all times i cant understand it, i was doing my part to make sure this didnt happen...."Sobbing into his jacket she knew he didnt get it...how could he she was being so vauge.

"Av..."

"Im..late justin.."

"late for what?"

"god your such a guy....My period is late! Like two weeks late..im never late,thats why
ive been out of it..."

"You mean your-"

"i dont know?ive been to scared to find out by myself "

What she said hit him like a ton of bricks,He always wanted this but she was right it was so soon..He wasnt really sure how to react.

"Ava..i think we should get a test or something?I mean maybe your not...pregnant? You have been under a lot of stress lately...i mean maybe thats all it is right?"

" i know, with new years planning and your birthday party next week ive had so much to worry about but justin it feels....different..."

"Okay..well lets just make sure one way or another ok?" embracing her again he kissed her gently on the head as she looked up at him with tear filled eyes she looked just like a little girl,very scared.

An hour later he had nipped to a small market off sunset wrapped in shades and a hat luckly it wasnt busy and the elderly man that sold him the necessities didnt even look at him-Thank god!

Every step back to her appartment his stomach began to churn,what if it was possitive? what if they were going to be parents what would they do? She was only 21 not even legal here yet and here i was getting her pregnant? He knew he was able to handle whatever was thrown at them he'd been through so much in his life,but she hadnt for the longest time she was sheltered and safe but now he'd changed her so much she was hounded by the media-they seemed obsessed by her? And she was just a normal girl not a celebrity that asked for a life in the spotlight all she had asked for was him.

Letting him in she spotted the brown bag her stomach jumped in fear.He emptied it on the chair by the window.

"Ok.I bought six....i hope thats enough?" He tried to sound possitive but could tell she was too preoccuied to notice.
"ahuh...well i guess i need a lot of water if i gotta pee 6 times?"

Picking one of the boxes up she just smiled at him tightly as if she was trying to be happy...but he just ignored the fakeness and squeezed her hand in support. "Sweetie i promise you whatever that little stick says i'll be here with you...no matter what ok? We can do this, i promise."

She just nodded and headed off to the bathroom.


"pee on circle and wait three minutes...if stick top turns pink its possitive,if blue its negitive." Blowing some air out of her cheeks she tried to calm herself down. "ok then,"

"Baby you ok? You've been awhile?

"I'm almost done...."

Pacing the floor like never before his nerves where on edge He wished she'd say something.

He heard the door opening and she came out with the two sticks wrpped in toliet paper.

"You ok?...whats with the paper..."

"well...i a'int holding it dude i peed on this thing...it's icky."

He couldnt help but laugh at her words...Even in high stress situations she still gave him that glimmer of hope.He loved her sense of humour.

"Ok it says wait three minutes till the little circle thing changes colour....pink- i am or blue- i am not....so..."
Placing it on the coffee table that she knew she'd have to scrub afterwards she sat,taking his seat next to her he again reached for her hand....It was shaking....As was his.
"Jus...what if its pink what then?"

Taking a deep breathe he just hugged her into him. " i dont know,we'll just handle it like we do everything else. We're strong..."

"I'm not so sure..i mean what if i cant do it....what if im not strong enough?"

"Hey...enough with the what if's ok....like you tell me... YOU are strong!! so strong, and you dont even realise it...i promise you..."

The little timer went off on my watch and and i knew that this was one of these moments that would define me as a person,as well as defining moment in our relationship.

"I cant look!!! you look..."

Clearing his throat he ignored the tingles of fear in his stomach and proceeded to pick up the little stick.

"Well? What is it....Pink...or Blue???"

The pause was one i was sure he was doing on purpose,usually i could read his eyes...Not this time.
"Ava...its-"

*****************************************************************</span>

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Postby whatchagot4meMRJT » Mon Apr 18, 2005 4:17 pm

:huh: AHHHH! What is it, dammit? I gotta know ... NOW! Whew, this pregnancy deal is nerve wracking. :lol:

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Postby laura » Thu Apr 21, 2005 9:51 am

well here it is.....hope its ok??? :ph34r:


<span style='color:blue'>"Well?" Her nerves where driving her nuts,he was driving her nuts....

"Is....positive.Pink means positive right?" he kept looking at her and looking back at it she was pregnant? OHMYGOD...she's having my baby.....

I couldnt feel anything my entire body just froze at his words,'positive'...i didnt see this as a positive situation-not at all.

Justin just walked to her and tried to snap her out of her daze,"Honey...are you ok?"
Looking at him she realised in that second that this is what he wanted the look on his face was one of pure amazement-he was happy?

"uh..yeah im just....in shock i guess...this is really happening huh?"

"yeah.....we're gonna have a baby,its..."
"what do you think about all this...i mean i know how i feel but what about you.."

Shifting in his seat so he could slide down and pull her into his arms completely.She instantly snuggled into him,he was thankful for that.

"well...its amazing...i mean i know we're gonna have to go and get it clarified by a doctor an all but...after they do.."
"I didnt ask what we do i know what i have to do,i asked how you feel about this?"
"i dont know...Im happy about i guess..i mean we always said we would have kids...and now,well were both young enough to enjoy it."
"Oh..." that wasnt really the answer she wanted.

"Why how do you feel..i mean of course your scared but you dont have to be, i'm here...i will always be here."
"No you wont..."

"what?"

"You wont always be here,you go on promo's next month for three weeks then overseas for another two weeks then after the single comes out,the album then a tour and yet more promotion...so no you wont 'always' be here."

"Yeah...i know but i mean you can come with me..and we'll work it out.."

"what? come with you in the next few months i'll be going throught hell justin....growing something inside me that will totally f*** with my body,and my mind...not to mention morning sickness...can you see me spending eight hours a day in car or bus when i'm like that because i sure as hell can't!!"
She was sweating, she was hot and emotional and his possitive attitude was getting to her.

"Ava...it will not be like that i promise we'll work around it...are you not ok with this?"
Duh!
"No...im not...justin im really not ok with this...i dont want a baby...not now i just cant have a baby!"



"Really?Ava why didnt you say something.."

"i just did."

"Thats not what i mean and you know it...before when we disussed kids you said you wanted them.""

"And i do! just not now...Im not even 21 yet for god sake! I want a life i want to be married and settled before i would even consider getting pregnant."
"Oh.."
"yeah...look i do want kids justin but damnit i dont know how to do any of this!"
"of what?motherhood? sh** you think anyone does? Ava im just as freaked here too you know!!"

"NO! Because we're different ok...This your lifestyle j...You worked for this i didnt...I've had to learn so much since ive met you...learn to be your girlfriend and what that means to the rest of the world,learn to take cristisim from millions of people i dont even know,learn what it means to be the further Mrs Timberlake....and now? Learn to be a mother to your kid that's life will also be under the spot light forever..yeah really not a big deal huh?"

Listening to her freak out he realised he never really thought about how much her life had to change for him.She had done everything in her power to fit in HIS world and he constantly pressured her to just give up her world....



The next day after a lot of silence and then alot of shouting as well as a sleepless night in a much smaller bed then he was used to he arranged for Ava to see her doctor that afternoon.He of course planned on going with her.Dispite her protests.

"right i think i have everything...phone, purse,keys...yup got it..."
sure she had everything but nerve.That she lost earlier when she threw up the breakfast Justin made her eat....



Walking in the parking lot across from her building hand in hand with justin was never easy,instantly they where swarmed with photographers all around shouting and pushing-always trying to get a reaction....But they just kept there heads up and got into the car.Much to their disapointment.

Once on the road to the doctors the air in the car was filled with anxiousness and nerves,on both accounts.Still neither one of them addressed the issue that Ava had brought up,the fact was she was doing something she really didnt want to do.He hated himself for feeling so selfish but at the end of the day it was as much his baby as it was hers and he had a right to be happy,even if she wasnt he prayed she'd come around.



"You ok?" HE asked as they entered the empty waiting room she had been messing with her keys since they had sit down.

"Im fine..."

Rolling his eyes he swore if she said that one more time he would explode.

"whatever...act like that then."

"Like what?"

"A b****."


Looking at him in completle discust he caught her glare.

"What did you just call me?"

"I didnt call you a b**** i implied that you where acting that way,i mean come on since we got up everytime i try and talk its always 'im fine' when you are clearly not 'fine' and its pissing me off ok?"

Before she had a chance to respond her name was called by the girl behind the desk.

Getting up she gathered her things and headed to the door, "wait...where are you going.." referring to justin who was right at her side.

"Where do you think..im going in there with you."
"uh..no you're not...Justin i'll be fine its just a blood test and an exam,please just wait here ok?!"

Not wanting to cause a scene he backed down and returned to his seat just as his phone rang.



"Ava..hello how are you..." The tall doctor who was in her late thirities stood up to greet her.

"Hi doctor Harris,well i think you know why im here...so im completely stressed!"

"Right i see you asked for a blood test and a pelvic exam...what do you thinks wrong?"

"Well..i think im..."The look of sheer worry seemed to be enought for the doctor to pick up on.

"ah...i see,well thats ok..you let me take your blood and then we'll do an ultrasound,which should in it self allow us to see if you are...the blood test is just a back up...

Getting the small vile of blood drained from her body she was then asked to strip and put on a gown provided.

When the doctor returned she had two tubes and gloves....oh god...

"ok Ava i'm just going to check somethings so if theres any discomfort just let me know..."
Your putting your hand inside me with gloves lady now you tell me if thats not discomfort?"ok"

And as she continued her exam which basically felt like she was hoaking around for something she lost she finished and told me,

"well from this exam alone i can clarify that yes you are pregnant!"
God why do people sound so excited about that..

"Oh..."
"Ok,well now im just going to give you an ultra sound,so we can see exactly whats going on in there....the jelly will be a little cold but it'll pass.

As she spead the freakin freezing cold jelly over my belly she started up the machine,it was at that second that i knew i needed him..

"Um,doctor...do you think someone could tell my fiancce to come..if its ok?"
She just nodded and poked her head out the door the next thing i know he comes in,looking so scared it was unreal.

"hey..." He said meekly.

"hey...shes just about to...show us..well..." I just pointed to the little screen.

"Oh..." He took his seat next to me and instantly slipped his hand in mine,never was i more greatful for that than at that second.

"ok..well lets see here..."

As she spread the little handle all over my stomach the room was filled with the loudest noise.

"w-whats that?" Justin asked looking at the doctor in fear.

"Well..that is the heartbeat...

The strong continious sound spread through out the room as this teeny thing appeared on the gray-green screen.

"And that is your baby..."She annonced proudly. "And by the looks of it Ava your about six weeks gone."
"SIX????"

"yes...its actually quiet clear,see the heart its strong which is very good and
its already forming quiet nicely actually.Im surprised you didnt call me sooner."

"well i.."

"usually with first time pregnancies the symtoms show really early,have you had any sickness,swelling?"

"Well..it was the holidays i just figured i ate too much,and drank-"

at that she stopped. "oh god...justin i was drinking a lot over the holidays...would that...effect..it?"

"Well normally it would,was it excessive to the point of illness?"

"Um..no..i dont think so? i mean it was champane with friends and wine over dinner?"

"Well as long as it was in moderation,and you realise you have to stop now right?"

"yes i do..."

Looking at justin who still just stared in awe at the beating screen she couldnt help but let out all the emotion inside her she burst out crying-she didnt know it was tears of joy or sadness or just to get it out? she just had to.



</span>

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Postby whatchagot4meMRJT » Thu Apr 21, 2005 12:39 pm

:yay: :yay: Yay, a baby Lake is on the way. :nod: Ava's nerves are totally understandable, though. They're both incredibly young, and this is going to be a huge responsibility. I think she realizes that a lot more than Justin. He definitely has to rework his schedule and find the time to be with Ava as much as possible.

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Postby laura » Tue May 03, 2005 4:01 am

*Sneaks in* hiiiii hi hi! aw the drama i hope your prepared....ive been in a emotional funk this last few weeks.i swear i cry for no reason at all...and if i were getting laid id swear i was pregnant myself...so be prepare the next few are....tramatic to say the least i just wish more ppl read it!!!!!!! :rolleyes: but i love ya paige! :hug:


<span style='color:green'>"So Trace called when you were in there,i guess he was worried."

"Did you tell him?" Glancing over to her as they entered the grounds of the house he assured her.
"No... i just said we were out, i guess its up to you when we tell people."
She just nodded in understanding as they reached the hallway,
"yeah...look im really tired i didnt sleep much last night so..im just gona go lie down."

"ok...do you need anything?"He asked but he knew she wouldnt...

"na..im good...just call me later in about an hour..we could do dinner or something?

"Sure." kissing her gently on the head he watched as she made her way up the large
staircase.She looked so deflated and helpless that it killed him inside.

For a little over two hours he had paced around the house, trying his best to busy himself trying to make the feelings in the pit of his gut disappear.Nothing worked,he tried playstation,tv,internet...nothing took his mind off that one little beating heart on that little screen.

He was going to be a father? Him....He was resonsible for a life other than his own? But Avas words kept going over and over in his head what if he wouldnt always be there? She was right though his lifestyle wasnt one designed for a baby but this baby was coming ready or not and he just had to figure out where they...ready?

Turning for the millionth time she had tried to sleep but hadnt managed much each time she felt like she was drifting off the noise would come back into her head 'heartbeart' it had a heart,she felt thought like she had lost hers.She was uncertain of a lot of things in her life but justin was the one thing that kept consistant him and her love for him was almost enough to life off of for ever,but now that love not to mention extreme hornyness had produced something and weather she liked it or not she was going to have to deal with it like the grown up she was pretending to be.

"hey..what time is it?" Walking into the kitchen the smell of food greeted her hungry system.

"hey!!! its just after seven thirty...you sleep?"

"um..not really..what's all this?"

"aw...for the lady...i ordered in...pizza and chineese, i wasnt sure what you'd want so..."

Smiling at him she grabbed some plates from the shelf and began serving..she fancied both..so she did,much to his amusement.

"what?"

"Nothin' its just...you have been eating weird lately..cant believe i didnt notice it before?"

"Huh?" she shrugged in ignorance as she tucked in to her cheese pizza slice topped with chicken fried rice.

"Well like the other week at the resturant..."

"What? It was nice ok?" The playful defence went straight up.

"Ava,it was steak and ice cream...at the same time...i just figured it was one of those crazy diets...but now,well i guess i know why! "

Mid chew she realised too...cravings...it was weird she will admit but never had it crossed her mind to think that?

"ahuh..."

At that they both went silent and tucked into their food.

"HEY!!!where you two at!!!" That loud voice was unmistakeable.

"Hi 'lisha...how was New york..." The blonde girl came speeding through the doors with several bags in hand as she was greeted she dropped them.

"Ah it was insane...but hey cant beat a good sale right...Ava you would have loved it!!!"
"Im sure i would..."
Embracing her into a tight hug Ava felt as if she might throw up.Again.
"ya...hey girl where did you disapear to? HE" pointing to justin as he tucked in to his
moshu pork. "Had me calling like you were dead...what was up with that?"

"OH...i just had a few things to do....and i forgot i had my phone on silent,i missed all the calls..."

she lied..for the first time she'd lied to her friend.

"Oh..ok then....Hey come see what i bought for the house....."

She sped into the living room expecting Ava to be right behind her,instead she was halted by justin's hand on her arm

"why did you lie?" His voice was lower than a whisper...His eyes once again filled with concern.
"I dont know ok...but i dont want to tell the ok,cause once they know your mom knows and then your gran...and you know what Sadies like..she'd tell everyone...and im just not ready to do that..not until i decide what i'm gonna do ok?"

"Ok..I cant lied to Trace though he knows me too well..Hes gonna see right through it."

"Try......."

Spending the evening with there two friends the married of the couple seemed a whole lot less tense than at the party a few weeks before,With Trace and Justin now held up in the games room doing god knows what it left Ava with Elisha and of course she wanted to talk....And usually that wouldnt be a bad thing but now...well now there was something she couldnt tell and was the one thing that was forever on the tip of her tongue.
"So there we were right in the middle of times square and all my shopping bags suddenly burst! In the freakin' snow of all things...annnd you know Trace...couldnt be bothered to help me....so i made him..."

"How'd you manage that?"

"Knee'd him in the balls and swore never to have sex with him again....needless to say that did the trick!"
She couldnt help but laugh at her,and for a time her personal worries where forgotten.

"God Ava....whats wrong...really. you've been spacing out on me all evening,am i that boring?"

"Huh?No..god no...i'm just tired thats all,nothing to do with you hun."
With a giddy laugh she nudged her in the side.

"Ah..Justin keep you up late again huh?" She winked.

"uh.something like that yeah...."

Ohh if she only knew....

Within a half a minute Justin and Traced reappeared, Justin going straight for his girl and embracing her, then joining the girls on the large sofa situated beside the large roaring fire.
As Elisha moved beside her husband she began to question.

"So,you guys how long are you going to hold out on us?"
Both looking like a deer caught in the headlights questioned her "WHAT?"

"This wedding you guys...i want a wedding!!! You realise y'all have been avoiding the subject all night. I mean when i was engaged all i wanted to do was talk about my wedding, remember Av?"

"We all do" was justins sarcastic response.

"Haha...wasnt talking to you bitter boy..."

"Ah...I dont know ‘lisha i mean whats the rush right?"

"Well yeah, no rush but. Have you at least thought about it?"

"Yeah we have but like Ava said we don’t need to get married, right now any way..."

"WOW way to be unromantic...."

"Baby come on let it go..." Trace finally spoke up taking his wife under his arm.

The look on her face was on of disgust, but Ava gave Trace a look of thanks.
After the couple left Ava made her way to the bathroom alone whilst Justin locked up. Running the hot water of the shower the steam filled up the room and as she stepped in she was thankful that it water seemed to relieve at least some of the tension in her body.

Everytime she closed her eyes the vision of the little heart came on screen as well as the loud beating sound that filled her head.
She was going to be someones mother?

A little person that depended completely on her for everything,for life.She wasnt sure she was capable of being that responsible.Over the last year things in her life had changed so much she knew she wasnt the same person that arrived in America scared and timid.She was girl then a silly girl that believed in things like if you where a good person good things happened to you,this pregnancy wasnt a good thing as far as she was concerned, she didnt want it.

But she knew he did,she saw the look in his eyes that day he was in total awe.She knew he would no matter what he would be a wonderful father and in a way she really wanted to see that, but to get to that point would require so much of her and it was her choice weather he knew it or not.

Her choice on weather or not to have this baby. And at that second she just wanted it to disapear.
"Ava...im going to bed,You coming?" He peaked his head around the door frame and she was just stepping out wrapping a big blue towel around her damp body.

"uh yeah in a minute i just need to dry my hair before...you go ahead though."


Crawling into the large and very comfortable bed he knew she was freaked and they hadnt really talked about what they where gonna do.He knew she was scared and that she was in shock but he hoped she at least was excited?He knew he was..he was so happy to have a child with someone as wonderful as her?She was going to be his wife and they'd have a child...it was amazing
.
He saw her coming from the bathroom now dressed in one of his tshirts and some shorts her hair dry put up in a high bun,she looked beautiful and completely natural....

"Av.."

"Humm?"

"Can we talk?"
"Bout what?...."

Ok so it was a stupid question but i still prayed it wouldnt be about the baby again....

"You know what?" he body wasnt facing him,in fact she had her back completely to him.

"Look at me..."

She did,turning to him slowly.She knew by the look on his face that he had things he needed to get off his chest...

"What?"

"Ava come on..i need to talk about this,its driving me nuts not being able to tell any one and then you just ignoring it like its not there."

"Oh trust me i cant ignore it....its all i think about,has been the last few days...im sick of
thinking about it."

"Well ive only known a few hours...so give me a break here...i feel guilty that im excited about this because your clearly not and i want to know why???"

"Justin can we please do this tomorow..im so so tired..."

"I DONT CARE!!!..."taking a deep breath he knew he was letting go to quickly so he
calmed himself down.

"Im sorry ok,its just you wont talk about it and i need you too...Please tell me whats
going on in that pretty head of yours."

"I cant...because if i do...you'll hate me and i dont want that because i love you more than anything on this earth,and if i tell you i know you'll hate me...."

He moved in next to her and wrapped his arms around her little body trying to stop her shaking...

"Baby dont be stupid i could never hate you..ok...i know that your scared but please its just me..."
"I...I dont what to be pregnant justin,I cant do this..i've thought about it and i cant do it.I love you and yes one day i will be a mother but not today,im not ready." The sheer panic in her voice made him realise just how terrified she was.It shocked him that she felt so strongly about it he didnt understand how she could feel nothing for it.
"You dont want our baby?" his voice was chocked up,more than he would have liked.But her words hit him like a hammer.

"No..."
************************************************************</span>






so? :unsure: :ph34r:

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Postby whatchagot4meMRJT » Tue May 03, 2005 11:40 am

:ph34r: OMG! Those last words about not wanting the baby scared me. I can see how much that would upset Justin, but then again, Ava is really scared, and all these things cross your mind when you find out about being pregnant. Not like I'd know, but I'm a wise one, oh yes, I am! :lol:

Sorry to hear you're feeling emotional. :hug: :hug: If you need to chat about anything, I'm around somewhere. :kiss:

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Postby laura » Mon May 09, 2005 4:35 am

ok so over a hundred views huh? somebodys reading this then....TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :rolleyes: or not...whatever...well for those woh do...read on!!!!!!

Waking up the next day she realised she had slept and somewhere between 4am and now that was just after 10am Justin had gotten up,and left.
Reading the note that was left in the bathroom her heart instantly sank.

[I]Av,i needed to go i just needed to get away-think about things.I think you should do the same, i mean what you said it..shocked me it hurt me and im not really sure whats happened to you....but i'll call you later ok?"


"So much for being honest huh?"

Carrying on with her seemed to be impossible,at the least thing she felt tired and had sobbed all the way through oprah...and it was just makeovers... Every time she even glanced at the phone she prayed he would call.But she knew he wouldnt, she had been a cold hearted b**** by saying what she said.The baby was his as much as hers and he had every right to be upset..All she knew was that there view points on parent hood where completely different, he saw the sunny side of laughing and days in the park she saw sleepless nights,constant crying and attention.

That day was the hardest day he'd had in a while he had meetings but they ended hours ago so he did the one thing he knew would get his mind off of her..He drank...and drank and drank until her bitter words where just a distant memory.It was after one am when he decided to go home so dropping off his drinking partner that was a now very shaky pharrel williams and a legless Trace he went home.And he found her asleep on the recliner wrapped in a blanket with "Love Actually" running in the background.

She looked peaceful,content....evil...he hated her, he realised in his drunken state she was refusing to love him or at least he thought so....They were going to be married thats what married people do they have kids...and she said she wanted kids...and now she suddenly changes her mind? b****....
So given that A) He could bearly walk and B) that his attempt at any kind of speech was questionable at this point he decided to wake her...Now usually waking her from her sleep consisted of a kiss or maybe a whisper...but now? well he didnt really give a sh**..

"AVA!!AVAAAAAAAAAAA...TIME TO WAKKKKKKE UPPPPP"
On hearing the shouting she instantly jumped out of what little sleep she had gotten to see a rather wobbly looking justin standing over her...His breath was enough to make her sick...again.

"WHAT THE f*** IS THE MATTER WITH YOU....I WAS ASLEEP"
"HUH...DONT CARE..." That was his answer as he sat in the chair across from her,it was just then she saw just how drunk he was.
" Justin your drunk..."

"Well done,you sooo should be on csi its like sooo clear that im durk,i mean drunk.....its yourr fault you know...whart you said..see..you..i...loved yous and yous just hid me."

"I hid you, what?"

"HiT me is what i said silly...you lied.."

"Justin im going to make you some coffee and then your going upstairs.."

"NO! DAMNIT.."he got up and followed her to the kitchen.

"Whatever j your drunk so you wont even remember this will you..."

"NO! I...need to talk about this...you want to get rid of that baby and i dont think its fair,its mine too...i help put it there you know. Annnd yo cant just go poof and it not be there any more..."

Through his extremely slurred speech she made out the jist of what he ment.And he was right.
"Ok look since you wont remeber this...ill tell you why i dont what this shall i?"

"AHuH!!"

"Ok then....children complicate things justin they put a huge strain on a relationship....The pressure is insane...and most couples cant deal with it!!! I know i love you...even as a drunken fool...i love you and i want nothing more than to be happy about this because believe it or not i want kids with you...but i just figured it would be later..when we were settled and used to being married...not now....your so busy and youll be even more soon and i know i cant do this alone....and i will have to do it alone....Because babies kill relationships...And sooner or later you'll get bored and leave me...and the baby for someone new and i just dont think that would be fair to my baby..i dont want it to go through what you and i went through...ok?."

<span style='color:purple'> ****</span>
The next morning with the worlds worse headache and a mouth that felt like fur he got up and somehow managed to make it to the shower...And boy did he need it...
There was alot he couldnt piece together,like how he got home,or to bed? but what he did remember was Ava...looking hurt and upset...yelling...about the baby....suddenly her behaviour became clear...she had confessed her fears thinking he wouldnt remember...but he did..

Mixing the eggs and the chopped becon together she was happy that this morning was the first since the doctors appointment two weeks before that she hadnt thrown up...So she decided to make breakfast.Her attitude was a whole lot more improved compared to the last few weeks she hadnt realised till the night before exactly what was holding her back from being happy....now she knew she hoped she could work on changing those fears...They were still there but at least now she knew why she was so afraid,althought hopefully justinhad forgotten...it was beyond shameful as far as she was concerned.And she knew he would look at it differently..like she had no faith in them...


"Mornin'" Was all that was annonced from the caveman like creature that once was her boyfriend..It was a pitiful sight but she knew he suffered hellish hangovers so she decided to ignore it and concentrate on her good mood for once.
"Morning sweetie how'd feel about some breakfast?" His face instantly scrunched up with discust,

"Uhhh..no,i really dont think i could face it....is there coffee?" his eyes pleaded with her as he layed his head down on the cold counter top...."How did i get home?"
"Cab,as far as i know...with those other drunken fools you call friends.Elisha's pretty mad at you for getting her husband pissed out of his mind and then sending him home to her...i think she made him sleep in the spare room..."
"Where did you sleep last night???"

Setting his coffee and a small plate of eggs and becon in front of him she reached for her own de-caf and sat on the high stool next to him.
"hum..well..your breath was making my body heave,so i sorta opted for the other room as well....nothing personal..."
"Sorry..."
"its ok i like that bed..its-"

"No..i mean for yelling last night i had no right to...."

"oh i didnt think you'd remember....how much do you remember?"
"Pretty much everything except getting here and upstairs...but the things in between,like what you said i remember"
[/I]
"oh..."

"yeah...and i want you to know its ok to feel the way you feel,i mean having those doubts are normal its just not so healthy to keep them all to yourself.Im here for all that....even if its just to vent about nothing i want to hear it because i refuse to let you drive yourself insane with stuff that can be lightened with just a conversation...."

"Thanks...." she was blushing and she wasnt sure why but it just seemed to hit her... maybe he was one of the good ones...maybe he wasnt going to be like her dad and his dad,maybe he would be the one to stick it out?

"i mean it...we are not our parents...we're better than that...and you know it!!"

With a thankful smile she nodded,

"How with a hangover to you still find the good in things....its...unbelieveable."

"well...i try...you feel any better since our talk last night???"

The hopeful tone in his voice set her at ease,she loved that all he had to do was talk to her and she would calm,just like that...he was the unbelieveable one....

"I...well...im still scared..i mean about soo much,but i know im not alone....plus what i said...about not wanting it...i...well i think i do? i mean weather or not i like the idea, im a grown up....i have start acting like one...plus if our kid is half as sweet as you, i'll be ok."
***
Well somehow and dont ask me how but we made it to my three month check up,and we still had this little secret all to ourselves,that in itself was a miracle.

For his birthday i had it all planned out,private party at the Plaza, then a club- which was weird since i guess i was the only sober one among the entire party and isnt funny how less annoying drunk people seem when your drunk and how you just want to kill them when your not? But i was good and stuck to o.j and ice.Of course it didnt stop me dancing..on the dancefloor and the bar for some reason?what can i say as crazy as she is Paige combined with Paris Hilton equals complete insanity....

But it was a great time,and with the album well under way he was busy,and content-something i sensed he hadnt been in
a long time.The thing about being in a relationship with a guy who is so actively creative is that you will have to except certain things like always being his second love... Music being the whore he cheats on you with....always being followed by insensitive photographers who will yell and call you anything just to get a reaction....being dissed and insulted by people who you have never met or in most cases ever seen...His fans love him,but man....do they have an iron grip.
But i got used to those things and i have excepted them...Most of the time any way

"Oh for f*** sake...." My anger was bubbling add that to the nerves of getting this scan and the fact that i was late and alone since honey dearest got stuck in Atlanta...well i was about to explode. Backing the car into the parking lot of the hospital i was completely surrounded by men...big burly men that scared the sh** out of me...it was my own fault i was the one that insisted no security,Mike and Tiny would be really useful right about now...Finally getting out of the car im bombared with questions and requests to look there way,i do my best to hid under my yankies cap and glasses but somehow they still get at me...

"Ava,whats with the hospitial....your ok..."

Yeah,like he gives a sh**...


"Look just go away..."

"Ava...rumour has it that your pregnant.....are we right..."

Still i just keep on walking until i get to the door and speed up to the elevators that leads me to my other doctors office.

Finally able to take a deep breath as i sit down i find my phone buzzing.

"Low?"

"Honey are you there yet?"

I instantly eased at his voice,and i instantly missed him too. "hello to you too...."
"im sorry, its just...i feel so bad about missing this....i cant believe stupid freakin' producers flaked and now i gotta-"
"Hun...no need to explain...and yes im here,just waiting to be called..."
"Oh...good.Well relax ok?"

Smirking at his continous worry i reassure him "of course...i had a nice bath and had a peticure, and i was on cloud nine till i get out of the car and i swear you'd think it was someone importaint they where chasing....hate those guys."

"Bastards,you ok,do i need to call Tiny??"

"Na,im good i miss you though... but dont worry ok i can handle em'"

Ava Mc Donald???


"Honey im being called...so i gotta go..."

"ok...good luck and call me as soon as-"
"i know,love you..."

"love you too..."

Placing my phone in my purse i enter the larger room that held by doctor, nice lady Dr Adams..

"Ava how are you..."

"hi" I take my seat and remove my jacket as she begins to set up her things "aw im good mostly...still feeling sick some mornings but its not as bad as it was...and i feel fat,ugly and im going crazy with hormones...so i guess im great..."

"yes..thats perfectly normal...even if your other half disagrees...come lie down here for me."

I do as she asks and the familar feel of that icky jelly is plastered on my rapidly growing belly.

"ok...lets see what we have here..." Was all she said for what seemed forever.

"well...is it...is everything ok?"

I hear no sound,and instantly tense....shouldn't there be a noise?

"Aw..." She gets up and turns a knob...
"sorry i had the sound off..." As the familar loud sound filled the room i breathed a sigh of relief....god woman what a way to scare...

"Ok...well everything looks good...right where it should be...your what? 12....thirteen weeks?"
"uh yes something like that i think..."

"do you have an exact date of conception..."
"
Huh?" I was sitting there think im not telling her when i had sex...

"When the baby was conceived...do you know the date...."

See that was the tricky question,arounf the time of...conception justin and i...well....we where being kinda...slutty...i mean seriously...any time, anywhere, including and incident involving his mom's washing machine one sunday which i wont go into....and i shouldnt have been that surprised that i got pregnant...we weren't exactly being careful if you know what i mean... i was on the pill sure...so he figured it was ok since we where only with each other.And i agreed...well wouldnt you? The pill people LIE they lie and its evil...so yeah after this if i decide to ever have sex again hes not getting off so easily...well so to speak!

"um..no i dont is that necessary?"

"Oh..no its just..well if you wanted we could give it you..."

They know that sorta sh**.....creepy...

"uh...well..ok?"

"Ok....from what i can see here...it was between november 29th and the first of december.."

I drew a blank and just hoped she'd move on.

"ok..well everythings good...see here.." she pointed out the beginning of what was the head and the arm....and to be perfectly honest it looked rather alien....but i would never say that out loud...

"Oh..." was all i said...not missing the absence of justin who i knew would remember all the questions to ask that i had forgotten through nerves.

"um doc...at this stage..what are the chances of mischarraige?"

"you reached 13 weeks...very slim to none you'll be glad to hear...next few weeks things should be fine...and if you even suspect a problem call me..."

"Ok thank you soo much...oh and can i get this on copy" I refered to the tape and photo.

she agreed and safely tucked them in my bag i headed home....to watch for more signs of my alien baby.




tralalalalalala...feeeeeeedback thank you,please! :lol:

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Postby laura » Mon May 09, 2005 4:38 am

ok the text is messed up,and im late for class so i cant fix it...hope you get the jist anyhow!? :blink:

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Postby whatchagot4meMRJT » Mon May 09, 2005 7:17 am

:lol: Alien ababy. Ahahahahahaha. They all look like that, but I love Ava's description. :wub: I'm glad that she's not as afraid about having the baby. Justin is a pretty damn good man. She's done well with him in her life, so I hope that they have nothing but a successful life together forever.

Paris and Paige ... :lol: I could only begin to imagine how crazy we'd be together. :rofl:

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Postby laura » Tue May 10, 2005 10:32 am

there is so much more drama...yet to unfold(does tv annoncers voice) on the next instalment of........Underneath it all.... sorry again,blame the sugar!!!!!!!!! :lol:

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Postby whatchagot4meMRJT » Tue May 10, 2005 11:15 am

WOOO! Can't wait, can't wait! :yay:

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Postby laura » Fri May 13, 2005 9:24 am

ok this is a bit of a filler-chapter wise i think im all mixed up and soooo freakin busy so forgive the dumbness..... :blink: and yes i think that is a word....well let me know!!!!!!!!! :D


The flight from atlanta was insane and longer than i ever imagined it to be before...Talking to Ava she was upbeat,which was so beyond thankful for after all the angst we went through when she first found out, i was so glad she was happy.I know it was hard on her with me away so much but i only had two maybe three weeks of recording to do and it was done...Of course the elephant in all our rooms was the promo's and the travelling..And the fact that i was really starting to hate the idea of doing this album,being away from her so much after i and promised her i would be there and what do i do? i miss a really importaint doctors appointment....like i said i wouldnt....

Sitting indian style on the large kingsize bed with her cashmere blanket wrapped around her stomach she watched the images on the tv screen over and over trying to spot things..things she guessed hadnt even formed yet but it didnt help to look right? Date of conception...what a clinical way of saying it...There was only one possible time around those dates and it was december 1st...She had hit the nail right on the head with that one,it was scary.Well blame the hot weather in hawaii,it had to be that and nothing else?Riight? :)
So engulfed with the hyponic images and sound on the screen, she didnt hear a person enter the door way of the bedroom that was behind where she was facing...

"JESUS!!"

Turning as fast as she had heard it she saw her friend standing in the doorway...sh**...
"AVA....what the f*** is that" pointing to the tv screen...and then glaring back at me paige had the look,the look that i knew was 'tell- me- or- ill- kick- your- ass-' look....damn...
"uhh..nothing..its..."

"A baby..why are you-" "..wait...OHHHMYGOD..IS THAT?"

Plopping down on the bed beside me with eyes so wide i thought her sockets would let her eyes pop....

"yes...im..well.ohh god,im having a baby that " I pointed to the screen "baby."

Still she sat mouth and eyes wide open...Till i couldnt take it any more
"God paige say SOMETHING!!!"

"Im sorry but you...your,no.....you cant be i mean...how when...how!!!"
"well i think you know how, sweetie when two people love each other very much they-"

"funny...." hitting me on the arm..."ava your kidding me here,its like punk'd again right?"

"Nope..im pregnant..13 weeks.."
She nodded yes,then no...

"f***....girl..why didnt you say something..."

"I..." taking a deep breath i switched off the tv looked back at her,still in shock.

"well we,i wasnt sure what i was gonna do and then i was but we wanted to wait till i
knew for sure nothing would go wrong..and thats today so i was going to tell you but
i...hell we havent told a soul yet so dont feel bad."

"Ohhh well lynn will be exstatic...wow..your moms gonna flip!!"

"I know...but screw it.. i dont care..." i then grew nervous at her opinion "so what do you
think?"

Smiling she didnt say anything she just embraced me in the tightest hug....

"Im excited....hey im gonna be auntie paige so...wooo for me..."

"how do you make this about you?"

"cause im brilliant..." "but seriously if your happy then i am too....really,what does he
think?!!"

"Aw excited,insanely excited he was so pissed he could make it today,but i have that to
show him when he gets home so....not all bad..."

"wow...girl this is insane...do you know what it is???"

Besides an alien?

"uh no...i guess that doesnt happen yet, isnt that at four to five months the sex forms
and then everything else..i think..those books scare me....mad pictures so ive been
avoiding then for now but justins all up on that sh**...."

"ohh yeah,plus there's all that stuff about the birth,like stuff that comes out with the baby...ick..i mean its like everything...."

"yeah thanks that helps the nerves girl..." Instantly she stopped talking and they just sat,now watching re-runs of Buffy.

"so...i mean your really ok with this?" Paige pipped up after about ten minutes.

"i wasnt...i mean when i found out i was so freaked...i just wanted it to disapear..."

"But now?"

"well im still scared i guess but,its ok...Justins great he really is and we love each other
and we're strong and i guess thats all the help i need for now."

She just nodded along as i spoke, i was so glad i had someone else to talk to about this,it
was such a relief..

"when are you guys gonna let everyone know?"

"We wanted to wait till i got the all clear at the scan today...so..any day now i think.."



Whe i got home i was greeted by two women in my bed....yeah both sound alseep with re-
runs blaring from the tv set...not the fantasy you'd expect.
I managed to wake Ava,who in turn woke her friend,who snored by the way....
As we all skipped through idle conversation Paige finally left with the biggest grin on her face,which ment only one thing: she knew!

So as i basically chased her around the house as she decided to tidy up i had to question,"You told her?"

"Nooo..." The guilt all over her face...
"Av..."

"ok,well i didnt tell her exactly she saw me watching the scan on the tv,which by the way you gotta see...its hypnotic!"
"ava shes gonna blab!She will i know it..." Walking over to where i stood she enloped her arms around me,resting her chin my my chest all the while staring into my eyes with hers puppy dog style...

"Honeeey,no she wont she promised me and i trust her,no need to worry any way its fine the doctor says everything is normal so who cares..."
I eventually gave in and we settled in to watch so tv and hopefully relax a little.

With the topic of magic numbers in relationships being brought up on leno i knew it was only a matter of time before she asked
"So,J...whats your magic number."

"What?" nooooo
"uh..you know what im talking about..we never did discuss this,i mean you always
avoid it...come on tell me!"

"Ava this isnt really a converation we need to have." I squirmed in my seat and she saw it.

"Oh i know we dont neeeed to,but come on i wanna know just how many women where
there before me...huum?"

As she kneeled on the couch beside me i knew this was one time i wasnt getting out of
it,but really i mean why does she need to know,it has nothing to do with us.

"Well..i um,it was a few ok? and im not exactly proud of how i was, but you know i was
younger and i had just gotten out of a really really bad-"

"yeah yeah i know... how many...."

His bottom lip puffed out slightly and he looked skywards...GOD HE HAD TO COUNT....

"Well...ah sh** i really dont wanna do this its only gonna get you mad and your already
kinda pissy with the hormones sweetie i dont want violence...."

Agravated at his stalling i used force.

"Justin Randall Timberlake if you dont tell me ill sit on you...and with the weight,do you
really want that???"

He laughed the full on laugh that just gets me every time and he pulled me on top of him any way.
"Ok ok i give in but you cant get mad 'cause you wanted this..."
God it was that many...

"Ok? Just-"

"Ok...since i lost my virginity and before i met you i have been with um..356 women...and
thats-" A look of shame washed over his face as he tried to avoid my eye contact.

"Your joking right? i mean thats not possible i mean that like what? Her eyes went
skywards as she puffed out her pink bottom lip, " An average of 50 or more women a year in that seven years..Jesus!!!" She was obiviously shocked....and mad..

"you said you wouldnt get mad..."he said really quickly...then added "Look i was stupid and i hated love when i got so f***ed up by it,and her...So i looked for comfort in places that involved-"

"Women,lots of women who you just fuc-"

"No it wasnt like that either, i mean it was but its was different... i mean i was lonely so

yes i took advantage of what was offered to me when i shouldnt have,but i cant change
that now..."
She nodded along still in a form of shock, "so.. i was 357.....man i wasnt even in the running,a least with me you got some kind of recognision but~"

"Speaking off lil miss shocked..whats yours? huh?" tapping her playfully on the nose she prepared to reveal something she was ashamed of,though not for the same reasons as him.
"well it a'int 356 if thats what your asking...."

"Well id die if it was,your way to special to be like that..."

"Im not that special,enough with the pedistal okay..."
"Hun now hows staling" With that one raised eyebrow he came closer,I gave in.

"um,ok well since i lost my virginity when i was 17 and when i met you i was...intimate
with one other person." I swallowed hard as his mouth gaped open.

"what? Thats..one?"

i just nodded blushing furiously at the shock in his voice.

"Ava one?How come you never said..i mean i would never have-you where really good,i
mean when we first....one really?"

As he questioned it over and over i strangly felt more and more embaressed.

"Well ok then thats done lets move on..."

"Who was he?"

"Justin..."

"Come on..tell me."

"Ok he was my boyfriend.." He gave the 'duh' look so i continued.

"And we went out for a long time before we...well you know... his name was Richard."

"Richard huh..hate him already...Did you love him?"

" i thought i did,but well yeah i did but it didnt work"

"why?"

"Oh he left me.."

"For another woman...im sorry."

"no...actually GOD"

"huh?" I had to laugh at the confused look on his face...it was priceless.

"He wanted to become a priest can you believe it.....i was devistated but hey if a guys
gonna leave you for anyone it may as well be the big man right?"

He simply nodded giggling slightly at what i had just said, i loved when he did that.

"so wait if i was only your second why did you..with me when we bearly knew each other i
mean it doesnt make sense..."
"I liked you, i fancied you something rotten for a lonnnnng time and that weekend was about getting away from being mundane old me and when you and i connected i just...let go."

"Still cant believe you didnt tell me i was only the second guy you've ever-"

"Well i guess i didnt want to because...uhhh never mind."

"na i wanna know..." With that same small grinny smile he wrapped his arm around my
shoulder,pulling me closer to his topless body.
Still blushing mad i continued as he snuggled into me a little more.
"Well the other women you had been with that i knew off at least, where older and sexy i
wasnt...at least then,you know its taken me along time to feel comforable in my skin, to feel sexy at all..But you did that for me and i just did what i wanted that one time, i took a chance and it worked..."

"But you should have said something i mean i would have been more considerate or something had i known that i was~"
"No,see i didnt want that, i just wanted you...and thats what i got and i wouldnt want to change that...at all...Because it worked out didnt it? so can we plllleeeease let this go?"

"Ok ok i'll let it go...but dont you wish you could gotten more experience with other people i mean...before settling."

At that question i looked at him oddly, i knew what he was asking but i just wasnt sure how to answer.i decided on the safe option.

"No...well sometimes maybe but just for a second because i look at my friends here and at home who are single and i see how hard it is for them to meet a decent guy,and i dont wanna go through that...i like love and i like connection i have both with you...plus if i tried i dont think i could find anyone male or female with a higher sex drive than you sweetie,so
no im good here thanks!!!!"

******
Needless to say the next few days where busy,we needed an excuse to get people over...and what better excuse than a party right?Since justins studio was now finished on the grounds of the house the more easy it was for us to spend time together.Which i was thankful for...Gathering things together,Elisha and Lynn where first to arrive thankfully i had found a dress that didnt give away our little secret and i'd sworn Paige to not say anything...and it worked? weird huh...

So it was basically his family and a few of our close friends...I wanted Justin to tell them since it was his idea to do it like this,plus it was such an American thing to do....Where i come from it isnt exactly something you broadcast if your not married...thats why i like it here...

"Well i guess you all want to know why your here....besides the fact we seem to do this every week? well its because we " Looking down at me and smiling as he grabbed my hand and i instantly felt my face redden.
" Have something we sorta need to tell you..."

Still they stood,blank looks on their faces,all but paige of course who was having a difficult
time keeping a straight face.

"Well....Basically its...." He was having a difficult time getting it out,it wasnt like him to just
go blank but he suddenly forgot what he was trying to say....

Thankfully Ava stept up next to him,

"What he means to say is that,we're...having a baby....i'm pregnant..."

I swear when she said that the entire room seemed to move,his moms face was a picture
im surprised her eyes stayed in their sockets everyone seemed to congrogate around us
and it was all a little blur-except the congratulations,that i remember...



finding a quiet moment, i finally got to the bedroom leaving justin down with our friends and all the hoopla that was there way...Reaching for the phone i managed the extremely long code to home as well as my number as it switched to ring my stomach started to heave.
"Hello?"
"Mum? Its me.."

"AVA!!!Hello sweetheart....how are you....you havent called in a while i was getting worried...nothings wrong is it?"

"No..no...im fine i just called to see how you are.."
I lied but i needed to ease her into it...

"Well i just got my hair done,new colour...ive gone a little lighter than usual..i like it...whats new with you?"

"Oh...well...nothing really..."
Liar,liar,liar.

I was losing my nerve,and at that moment i caught a glimse of the scan photo on the bedside table..

"actually mum...i have news...i wanted to tell you sooner but i...well i wanted to wait incase something went wrong...so...um...""
"Well..what is it?"

"ah..im..well..im pregnant...."

I swallowed hard as the other end of the phone went very quiet.

"Mum..you there..."

"Your...oh i see...how far along are you..."

"um..almost 15weeks...We just told everyone here so i needed to tell you myself...so
what do think?" my voice held hope that her words would be ones on encouragement....i
was wrong.

"What do you want me say." Her words stung me,it was the tone that i always
dreaded.The tone of disapointment.

I was losing my good mood,my nerve and my ablility not to cry,and it showed in my
cracked voice.

"Well..i dont...i just want you to be happy...thats all.."

"And i suposse hes happy about it...."

"yes...he is...They all are actually..they're being really supportive....And i need that right
now because im scared...Mum you remember what thats like..."

The line was still quiet....Thinking back i liked it better that way.

"Yes i do Ava..and i also know what men are like, one minute he'll be the doting father the
next off with some leggy blonde he met in a club....so yes i remember what thats like..."
"Mum,dont so this..." My emotions completely took over and i was silently crying..
"Do what? tell you the truth...Ava i warned you about this?I like Justin i do, and i know that you both have good intentions...but we all do dear...and his kind just doesn't stay
consistant...and a child need a constant parent and that always falls to the mother...The burden of-"

"I was a burden?" The tears where coming fast and i was sure my eyes puffed out in seconds.

"No....But i see so much of me in you and this...just confirms it.."

"Mum,Justin is not daddy ok...he wouldnt do that to me ok...He knows what its like to just
be left...He wouldnt do that!" Who was i trying to convince,her or myself?
Again the line was silent as i sobbed uncontrollably into the reciever.
"Ava stop crying...stop it ok" her voice was stern and unloving,as it always was when i cried over this issue.

"Ma...I swear hes not like that..."

"Well for your sake i really hope so dear..look i have to now..."
Before i could even say goodbye the phone went dead....And with it i lost all control over what i had been holding in during my phone call. I couldnt believe it,how she could be so cold....i just collaspted on the bed....crying until i felt i couldnt breathe.

**********************************************************
"son how could you not have told me...of all things..."

"I know ma...but it was importaint we know that things would be ok...and now they are..."

"well i cant blame you i suposse...and it does explains Ava behaviour...where is she by
the way..."

Looking around the semi-crowed room i realised she wasnt here....

"uh...i'll just go check up stairs...she hasnt been feeling so great..."

"Ok..." As my mom joined Paul in the kitchen i headed up stairs,as i reached the bedroom
door i heard it...the unmistakeable sound of her...sobbing...

"Baby whats wrong??" Heading straight for her slummped figure lying across the bed i
saw her face was red and swollen...

"Av..Talk to me please..."

Her voice was small, she sounded defeated...

"i..called my mom..."

I swear if i could get my hands on that woman i wouldnt be responsible for what i would
say..or do to her...

"That bad?"

"yes...ah you have noo idea...shes..such a f***ing cow..."

She rarely cursed...This was bad.

"What she say.."

"Oh you dont wanna know...shes not happy,convinced you'll leave me, alone like my
dad....She warned me not to get pregnant...and that..." I again started the sobbing..."and
that i'll be....and..."

"aw honey come here....You know me better than that...shes just bitter..." As he embraced me yet again trying to calm my crazyness i couldnt help but cling to him,it was as if he was my life line from her bitterness that i was currently drowning in.

After making excuses for her to everyone,they decided we needed to be alone i just told them she wasnt feeling up to visitors-which wasnt exactly a lie?It was just after eleven when i got finished up with everyone answering their questions about her.myself and the baby...It was tiring to say the least.Last person left was Paige..who insisted on helping me clean up....

"You know you didnt have stay behind..its really no problem..."
"Naw...i dont mind,and i needed to talk to you.."

Looking over at the short blonde girl i knew by the absence of her playful tone that this was serious.
"Sure whats wrong?"

"Well...This pregancy...it came as a shock huh?"

Smirking just a little as i came out of the kitchen i remembered finding out...yes it was
definately a shock "Uh..yeah you could say that..but you know..a good one"

"Oh yeah sure...but i should warn you..Ava's mom.She'll not be happy about this..she has
issues with kids...mainly men who father kids.."

"Yeah..because of her husband?" Ava had never really gone into what had happened with
her parents when they split.

"Well yeah i mean from what i can remember...when we lived next door they where
always fighting and yelling,and it came to a head one day...when..well when both Ava and
her mom walked in on her dad...with the nanny..She was nine at the time...Ava,not the
nanny..."

It explained a lot about her mom,and come to think of it Ava too.

"Wow..thats terrible..i..well i never knew it. What happened?"

"yeah..she doesnt like talking about..i mean would you if your 19 year old nanny was
doing your dad like that..."

Boy she did have a way of putting things..

"I guess not." I just continued to clean up,letting her ramble on seemed the best way
since she seemed to like to talk.

"yeah well after that her mom completely changed...became,bitter i guess...i remember
Ava first boyfriend...tom,she HATED him..i mean really...it was unreal...she had to come to
mine just to see him!! But i mean i guess when you've been burned like that....well it just
doesnt go away.."

"What happened to her dad?" He had to ask...anyone would..

"He-"

she was cut off,by a voice coming from the staircase...Ava..looking pale and excused.

"He left...and i never saw him again...he left with her..kimberly and i never saw him
again..i think he moved to France,married her and i heard that they had more kids..."

He demeaner was slow and tired..he hated seeing her like that.

"hon,i thought you were alseep.." Paige added as she finished with the trash.

" naw..i needed a drink" Looking at justin she finished "Of water..." He smirked at her,she
knew he was weird about the alcohol thing.

"well im gonna get going...so honey " Walking over to Ava she kissed her on the forehead
and hugged her-it was clear they both really cared about each other and he was glad she
had a friend that knew her like that.

"Ill see you tomorow...you too j.."

saying our goodbyes she left when i came back for the door i saw Ava was still in the
same spot as before,over the sink.

"Hey...you wanna go to bed?"

"in a minute,Justin...im sorry about tonight-god your family must think im a right crazy hoe
just flaking out like that..."

"Dont be stupid..and no...they dont i told em' you where tired..so they'll get over it"

Making our way into the soft sheets and fluffy pilliows i was glad to finally get my head
down,between recording and the pressure about telling everyone...well it had been a
long day...add that to the fact i hadn't had sex in weeks.

Moving in beside him i tried to lets the events of the evening fall away....And as i drifed off to sleep it almost worked...till my mothers voice came pounding in my head...b****...



:blink: well?

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whatchagot4meMRJT
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Postby whatchagot4meMRJT » Fri May 13, 2005 4:44 pm

Aww, that was so sad. :( Ava's mom really spoiled the happy vibe that she had going on the day of the announcement to the family members. I can see where her mom is coming from, but Ava has a good head on her shoulders, and can work through any obstacles on her own. I wish her mom was supportive. But, she has Paige, and well, that's the only person, besides Justin, that she needs in her life. :lol:

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laura
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Postby laura » Mon May 30, 2005 6:35 am

<span style='color:dodgerblue'>i know its been a while,buuttt ive been a busy! almost done with school so yay. This is a little longer than the others :huh: but i hope ya like it,


drama,drama,drama

i promise it gets better!! :D

**************************
Over the next three week i found that mine and justins time
together was rare,he was all over the place as rehersals for the
new video got under way,and i..well i expanded...And was actually
feeling 'ok' about the weight gain,that was until i visited the dance
space where the dancers were being interviewed...in the most
sexist fashion ive ever seen,but i wasnt about to argue with both
Jive and Johnny so i just smiled.

Seeing girl after girl with a washboard stomach and a tight ass rub
her slutty self all over my man was enough to drive even the most
sane of women over the edge...add the jealous-b****yness to the
hormones and it wasnt pretty.

"hey baby...i didnt see you come in.." A sweat covered justin headed
straight for me

yeah ill bet he never saw me...to busy feeling up curly over there..."Oh no i just got here...how's it going..."

"Its..good i guess...i think we have em',so now we just gotta go
over the steps and let them practice...and then a few more with
everyone and then we shoot...How's everything with you guys.." He
added patting me gently on the ever expanding bump..

"Fine....well i just stopped by to-"

check up on your ass...

"see you..so now i gotta go..."

"Aww..no..stay..come meet everyone..." He pointed to the array of
skin in the corner.

"not right now ok..im going to get my hair done so..ill see you at
home?..."

"Ah..ok..well ill see you then...be good..."

"yeah...you too."

Huh you better be...

ok ok i'll admit im a jealious person,and now when i know im getting
fat and he obviously doesnt want to have sex with me...he must
want to have sex with them right....ok no i know he wouldnt...ok he
would..he has before,but now.Huh now he knows id kick his ass.So
feeling somewhat underappreciated i decided to splurge on a new
hair do,new mani-petti and lots of new clothes since i was rapidly
growing out of my normal attire.And i was half expecting the
pregancy wear to be frumpy but it wasnt...hell there was even racy
undies for the pregnant.Which ok freaked me out just a little so i
moved on and got some new pants,some skirts.Pretty tops that i
gotta say showed off my one favourite thing about being
pregnant...my boobs!!!They where huge id gone up at least three
sizes already,and i was only four months gone...i couldnt wait to see
what happened in my second trimester.

So strolling throught the lot that held the dance studios some three
hours later i managed to get in and see the end of the rehearsal.

"Thanks you guys i think thats all we could humanly do for
today...we're back here in two days...so see you then...good job!"
Dana annonced she being the new chorographer.I then saw her
approach Justin who in all honestly look so tired he was about to
drop.

"Good work J...Thats some complicated sh** right there...after a year
out i figured i'd have more to do with you...stamina wise...But you
havent faultered.."

"Well thanks...i try...and my fiancce keeps me pretty busy..." She
smiled at the mention of her name it was nice he talked about her.

"yeah...i havent met her..didnt i read you guys broke up?"

"na,Av and i? i dont plan on ever letting that happen again..."

She laughed as she peeled out of her top,toweling herself in now all
that covered her torso was a tiny ass sports bra.

"Wow you must really love her huh? "

Looking at her funny he picked up his towel and went to sit on one
of the benches

"Well i purposed so i guess yeah i do..." His tone was marked with
playful sarcasim,but she didnt seem to take the hint.

"Thats...sweet...but..."

"but what?"

"But...one woman for the rest of your life,thats a big deal..."

Ok i wasnt liking where this b**** was going...

"Yes it is a big deal,but ive been with other women....and ive been
with her...and theres no contest...her everytime."

"Shes a lucky girl i hope she realises that..."

"I think she does...."

"well..if she ever starts to take you for granted...you just give me a
call..."

She sounded like she was joking,he sure as hell hoped she was
joking..it had been a while since he had someone so openly flirt with
him....sure it boasted his ego,but it also scared him that he liked
it...she was a hot woman who knew how to move...who wouldnt have noticed.

"Justin?"

Glancing to my left it seemed a completely different woman
approached me than the one that had left a few hours before,she
looked fresh and happy...completely destressed...and hot! what she
was wearing was unusal for April,but she had been saying she was constantly hot..She worn a long pair of almost white trousers that went over the heel of her open toes wedged shoes,on top it was unreal...Her chest seemed to have expanded...in a really good way..she showed off her new assests with a crazy print top that hid her small bump and strapped around her shoulders that showed off her tan...she was hot...and he in turn was totally hot for her..

"Ava,honey...you look..." sizing her up and down he made her feel
sexy again-something that was difficult to achieve now.

"You look...hot...."At that he looked around guiltly as if he'd insulted
her. "I mean beautiful..." His eyes however didnt leave her clevage
line.

"No..no..Hot is good,hot was what i was going for...uh whos this?"
Pointing to the the pouty woman standing to his left.

"OH...i forgot...um Dana,this is my Ava...Ava,Dana the new
chorographer...."

I extended my hand and pretended i hadnt just witnessed her
hitting on my man...she did the same and spouted some sh** about
how nice it was to meet me...Lying cow....



"Well im heading to Trace and Elisha's...are you coming with me?...or
will i just meet you there?..."

Looking at the woman to his left then the one to his right he nodded
to his love and asked to meet him at there place first..He had to
check something before they went over.

So she left,in one of her christmas pressies, her new black bently
and drove home,of course being followed by stakeratti all the way
there just as they had followed her when she went shopping and
when she went in to the beauty salon....Assholes...

The media and tabloids where having a field day with all the
outings,the baby news was spread like wild fire,and of course there
were the constant rumours-marrige,splitting,marrige,gayness...i
swear it was wearing me down slowly.Everytime i passed a news
stand there we where,with some insane headline,it had gotten to the point now that even when i went out ALONE they followed me..Why,i have no idea i mean it wasnt like i was doing anything exciting i was usually just doing what everyone else does...But again somehow people thought that was interesting.It was funny i actually saw a girl on tv say she wanted to dress and look JUST like me...i think she was insane though,so i over looked it.

Pulling up in the drive way she felt relieved to home,mainly she had to pee like crazy.. and apparently the baby considered her bladder a toy...

"Ava...where you at?"

Just shopping bags and her purse greeted him in the foyer...

"Upstairsssssssss" Was all he needed as he raced up to meet
her..of course she was still in disposed..so being a gentleman he
waited outside the door...

"Baby..whats with the new you...i was....surprised when i saw you..."

from the other side of the door he heard her throught the sound of
running water.

"Good surprised or bad surprised?"

"Oh..good..verrrry good...." see the thing is with this being pregnant thing...we dont talk about certain things 1) The sex of the baby,as she thinks its bad luck till the doc says so...2) Her weight...which i
really dont care about so she really didnt have to make that a
rule...and three...well this is mine really...the fact that we havent at
all come close to having sex in about three months...now i respect
that her body is going through changes...and so is her
hormones..but damn...going from getting it every day almost to not
at all with no warning? Well i was having a difficult time to say the
least...and worst of all..it didnt seem to bother her AT ALL....

Coming out of the door i bang into her...almost by accident.

"oops.." She twrilled around..."so you really like it?
"I love it...but i love the other you too..so..."
With a flirtly glance she moved over to the bed...changing into flats...
"Ava..can i bring something up here that we're not actually talking about.."
"Sure...whats up.."
"Well..nothing, thats kinda the problem..."

"Huh?" Ok so i knew what he meant,hell anyone would have known
what he meant..but for the longest time i didnt want him near me like that everything about the idea of having sex was gross...Shocking i know since that would have been a better attitude to keep me from getting this way in the first place,but yeah...and on my last visit to the doctors she told me to expect a sudden change in 'hormonal activity'...i know i was like 'what?' as well...but i get it now..that was just code word for extreme horny-ness.... i swear..it just hit me like bam!!! and everything..and i mean everything was turning me on...it was unreal... billboards,movies,serving guy at the local store this morning..whos about 60...totally hot for him...

So i decided to play along anyway..just to see how far he'd go with it.
"well its just that...i love you..you know that and i know you know that in our relationship certain things are....enjoyed...by both of us..Like our love of films old music,coldplay,itailan food,kissing and..."

"ANNNND?" Standing up to meet him he instantly softened as his
hands met mine.

"And sex...and i know that you probably dont want to cause of..whatever reason..and i respect that i do..its just...."
"That you want to..."
"yes...yes i do..and i know that i..."

"Justin.."

"What?"

"shut up..." walking over to the bed i take off by belt,pull my top over my head and wait for him to take the lead.....it didnt take long..

"Your sure.."

She just nodded...and smiled..he loved her smile...
With both of his hands on either side of her head..he embraced her in a deep kiss,one so passionate that it made is head spin...hers too...sneaking her hands under his soft white t-shirt the hot feel of his skin underneath was pure heaven,she missed feeling him in that way...

"Wait,i should shower first...im all-"

"No...you stop and ill kill you..." Was all she said as she laughed and
yanked the piece of cloth over his head exposing a great deal of his
body the sight of just his torso causing her body to jolt slightly,she
was so hot it was insane...

With each gentle kiss he placed on her neck above her breast bone
and around her earlobe, she just wanted him to stop teasing and get right to it....something i guess most women dont want...but she was in a different situation than normal..her hormones where going throught the roof!
"Justin..." his lips finally reached her shoulders...as he made his way to her bra..
"hummm..."

"I dont need this you know?"

Looking up like a deer caught in the headlights she laughed...

"NO...not THIS this, i mean like foreplay...sweetie i'm horny as hell
and all i want is you,and me...right now...i get that you love me and
its sweet an all..but right now all i want is for you to f*** me!"

Slightly taken back at her brashness her realised it was something
he liked very much...

Lifting her on to the bed as gently as he could he finished what she
had started with the removal of her clothes....He was into it he was...he wanted her...but the bump,was right there...and it worried him.

As she reached for his belt he stopped her...

"What if i hit the baby?" trying but not succeeding to hold in her
laugh it was greeted by a strange look from Justin...

"What im serious...i mean i could...it could damage it or something.."

Still laughing she manged to answer him...

"Sweetie...as much as you know you have nothing to worry about in
that department...thats never gonna happen,trust me....You wont
be anywhere near anything your not supossed to be..."

"you sure?" He sure as hell wasnt...


"Ahuh..." He still wasnt,but couldnt deny her anyway..as freaked out
as he was that he was going to hurt her,she was just as relaxed- as they continued to do what they hadn't in so long...With each touch of her hand and kiss from her lips he thought he found himself seeing a whole new side to her...she was incharge of the situation of him and more importaintly..herself..Something in all the times they had made love he was sure she wasnt,she was always aware of her faults...or what she saw as faults..he never noticed them but she did and it held her back,now she didnt care and it was fantastic........

***************************************************
"Are you sure your ok..you dont look ok??"
"Elisha im fine and im ready to go..will you see where j is.."
Looking around the kitchen at the array of baby toys that Elisha and Paige both insisted on buying even though i told them not to,i realised i needed to get up.

Getting my extemely fat ass out of the chair was beginning to weigh on me...i was huge...and ready for my five month scan...terrified because today was a sure fire day that the sex of the baby could be discovered...I wanted to know,then i didnt,then i did....I knew justin didnt want to know...but i thought it would be nice for me to know who i was talking too...

So on that sunny May day we had all the windows and all the doors open,it was hot but i was on fire all the time and currently chomping ice cubes to try and lower my tempreture.

Strolling in to the kitchen throught the open door with lilly(the dog) close at his side he was beaming....and a little sunburned...anyway..He greeted me as always with a kiss and a kiss on the bump...it was sweet..

"So how are you feeling..."

Sick...thats how...your try vomiting for two hours straight and see how you feel...Rolling my eyes i just let him take the hint...

"Oh that bad huh?"

"Yup...are you ready..." He grabbed my bags and we set off,of course he helped me to and from the car all the time now even though i was perfectly capible of doing it myself.

Driving along the highway crossing onto various intersections he started a conversation i knew was coming. "Honey.." He asked in the voice he used when he wanted something...

"Humm..."

"About baby names..."

"Justin no its bad luck..." I swear we had this conversation a million
times,and still he continued.

"No i know...but ok,say there was someones baby,and that baby
didnt have a name....what do you think would be a name for that baby?"

i swear sometimes i wonder about this man....

"Justin....uhh god ok just say whatever it is you wanna say..."

Glancing at me he beamed.

"OK! Well..for a boy i was thinking...maybe...Chistopher..or Ryan or
Joshua you liked that remember?...annnd for a girl i was thinking
maybe um Ashlee's nice,or Amy...or..

"You like the A's huh?"

Smiling at her he patted her knee, "Well yeah...but knowing me i
wouldnt wanna mess up a little girls name...have it be like Birtha or
something..."
Not holding back she rightfully laughed out loud..

"Birtha?"

"well yeah....i dont want that to happen..."

"So i guess you want a boy huh?"

Looking over at her...i couldnt lie...

"I've thought about it,and i like the idea of a boy...but i love the idea of a girl too...so i really dont mind...what about you?"

"Dont care..."

"You dont even...have a hope?"

"Na...i just want it to be safe and healthy...i mean i thought i would
have a preference i mean but i dont...."

"Really?" Ok i didnt believe her...but i knew her and a girl would be perfect for her to just dote on...and if i was being honest i liked that idea...

"really...now lets just do this..."

getting past the photographers again was a challange..but we finally got settled into the office and we where waiting for the doctor to finished with her other patients.

"This is creepy...what is this..." Justin couldnt help but wonder,there was some scary shaped objects in that room...so holding one up he showed it to Ava..

Smirking i knew her answer wasnt good.

"Um,that opens a women's cervix..."

"ah....gross..." Instantly i threw it back and returned to my chair,how was she so relaxed...i was going crazy, and my constant foot tapping was evidence of that..

"Justin.."

"yeah.."

"Stop it..." Glancing at my dancing knees she was right,it was
annoying..

Finally the doctor arrived...oooh god...

"Ava...Justin...so nice to see you again...how is everything with mommy here..."

"Im...good,still having morning sickness...all damn day..but other
than that its not too bad..."
As she flipped through her papers,and charts she continued to talk but all i could hear was my heart beating off the charts with nerves.

"well i can only recommend rest..and water..and rest...can you lie on the table please..."
The doctor was always upbeat...it was a nice change to the old stuffy doctors she had to fill in for her.

"OK,Well everything seems on track...nice strong heart,everythings there that should be there...oh..do you want to know the sex?"
I looked at her,she looked at me...we both shrugged...but i really
didnt want to know,i wanted to wait....

"Actually doctor i'd like to know if thats ok?" Ava spoke up from the long leather table.

i was a little surprised...

"you do?"

"well yeah...i wont tell you if you dont want to know."

The doctor just nodded and asked me if i didnt want to know to just exit the room,i did...I didnt want to but i did.

Minutes later Ava came breezing throught the door,smiling from ear to ear,damnit...now i wanted to know..

"So you ready..." thats all she said as she walked past with that gleefull look plastered al over her face.

Making it to the car and then to the house,the entire way she didnt mention it,she just kept on smiling...and it was really driving me mad,i was sure she'd give some kind of hint...But no...not a word...

"Ok well im gonna make sure you have everything packed...again...When's the flight?"

She meant the flight to England.I have two weeks of promotions to do meaning two weeks alone without her,yes the guilt had already set in and i hadnt even taken off yet,but i said i wouldnt go but shes making me really since the single has had such good reviews over there and the fact that she wants it to be number one....and well so do i if im honest....so im off just me,the secruity,Trace,the dancers,and Dana...God that woman just doesnt stop...during the video shoot she was constantly hitting on me,which usually i wouldnt mind..but now its different and it made me a little uncomfortable...To be stuck in England with her for long periods of time...well lets just say im thankful for Trace's presence thats all...
"its at eleven tomorow morning"

The house was buzzing,and usually i like it busy,it kept me from eating everything in site. But this busy was a bittersweet busy-they where all here helping him leave me for two weeks,14days...Half a month....it was killing me...i knew i wasnt alone but i just felt more at ease when he was with me,he had this way of making everything melt away even with one look..and now that look would be gone a whole ocean away for a while..But it was all my fault he offered to postpone the single until after the baby was born but that wasnt for another four months...and i couldnt ask him to do that..i loved the single and as a fan in the first place i knew they would too...I had kept him to myself long enough i had to give him back...Even if its just for a little while.


Lying with her reading glasses on,alseep on the bed,mid-American idol she looked so peaceful and relaxed i couldnt help but crawl in with her noticing the bump under the huhe blanket i gently placed my hand on top of it....and felt-Something...move...it moved,kicked....I couldnt believe it,it had never done that before..never with me any way...WOW...Slowly I opened my eyes seeing his reaction was importaint, the kicking started a few hours before i just didnt want him to know he missed it.....so as far as he was concerned it was the first time.
"Av...i-its...kicking..like, a lot.." I seemed at that moment to loss all forms of intellegant speech....i was in complete awe of this little person who i'd never even met yet...i was in love..

"I know...It's Amazing isnt it..."

He just nodded and smiled,that smile that captured a million hearts was capturing hers all over again...

"Ava i want us to get married...."

ok this was new?

"We are getting married..."


"No i mean i want us to actually do it...i want to be a proper family before this little one arrives.."
"Justin...i do to but sweetie we'll have plenty of time for that...after im not a size....bigger than i usually am...i promise, to me we are a family.."

"Look i know you think that your fat,but honey your not fat its the baby, and i love you...no matter what you look like and i want you to be my wife.Promise me you'll think about it..."

That was the problem,i had thought about it..all the time and still no matter how happy i was with him,how content i was there was still this niggling in my gut that was terrified of walking up any kind of isle, i knew i loved him and that yes..I wanted to be his wife...but in my family marriage was a solution to a problem,namely pregnancy that once it was over only led to more problems and eventually a very messy split...And that was the last thing i wanted,for me and for my baby.We always had our problems Justin and I but somehow i managed to ignore them but this pregnancy just magnafied them times 100,i saw the cracks-the cracks that were in time going to tumble our little house house of cards.

I ended the discussion with the life saving phrase of "ill think seriously about it" And it wasnt a lie.Knowing i wouldnt see him again for two whole weeks was a issue weighing on both our hearts lying next to him that night i knew neither of us would be sleeping,and it wasnt for the usual reasons either.
"av..you awake..."

"yeah..the baby has hiccups...its weird..."

Rolling from his back and straight next to me he placed his hand right on the bump feeling the movement his eyes lit up, it was a sweet sight to see......

"Thats amazing...i mean we did that...and wasn't exactly difficult was it?"

With a smirk i cuddled in to his topless figure... "No it wasnt,but everything else from now on will be you know...we have to change our lives justin they'll be no more impromto parties or jetting off to
hawaii whenever now....its different..."

"i know that...and im willing to do it...anything thats necessary in order to make it work...anything you want me to do ill do."

"Like what?"


"Anything...!" She contemplated what he was saying for a
second,and decided that they'd had enough serious conversation over the last few days.



"Like say if i wanted something right now you'd just do it right?"
"Yup...."

"Justin..i really want..."
"what?"

"A chocolate milkshake...with icecream....."

Rolling his eyes he decided,that she was evil...he was just about to drift off.... So with a slight moan he got up..made his way to the door looking back at her as she lay comfortably on the big bed..he just shook his head as she continued to be intraced by her tv show...Desperate housewifes my ass. More like desperate fiancee's...

Making his way up the stairs with her lovingly prepared for her he was surprised to find her alseep on the bed with her glasses on crooked her hair all messed up...Looking beautiful...Not having the heart to wake her he just crawled in beside her and drifted off himself...He was completely content.

Wasnt he?

There was water everywhere she was underneath looking around franticly for a way to reach the surface but something was holding her down she could feel the air slip from her lungs....she was drowning.

Kicking and kicking she managed to find her way to the top only to find justin standing at the top looking down at her...Only to see him extend his hand..to push her under.....

"AVA,Av...wake up!!!"

On opening her eyes she saw Justin again,only this time he was worried...Blinking the sweat out of her eyes she focused in on him again.
"Av...you where kicking and screaming..what the hell happened..."
"I...i dont know..i guess i was having a nightmare...."

No sh**...

"well what was it,girl you got me so freaked out just now.."

"I dont remember...its nothing ok, just go back to sleep."

As she turned her back away from him she tried to sleep,but of course being her she alway over thought things...and this was no exception.

6Am the alarm sounded throughout the room,responding with a annoyed groan justin slammed the thing off and stumbled out of the bed towards the shower.Glacing at the bed he realised she wasnt in it....Checking the bathroom but she wasnt there either.So he headed down stairs thats when he saw her.Sitting knees curled up on the couch,rocking gently.It scared him to see her that way and not knowing why or even how long she'd been there in the cold...in the dark.

"Ava?Whats wrong...." Sitting down next to her he rubbed her arms-she was numb.
Still she didnt look at him,nor did she answer...it was beginning to scare the crap out of him.

"Sweetheart please..whats wrong."

Then she turned her eyes glisting with the sun coming from the window on the other side of the room,the tear stains so clear then.her voice was weak,and full of emotion.

"I...i had a bad dream its ok..im...its ok..." Still her trance like state was worrying him so he tried his best to just shake her to attention....

"Ava you're not fine please stop saying that...baby please look at me,you're freakin' me out here! How long have you been like this..here.."

Glancing towards him again she turned away and continued to stare at the spot in the fire place that had held her attention for the longest time.

"Just a couple of hours..i couldnt sleep and i knew you had to..so i just got up...but i didnt have anything to do..so i just..." Her words were calm,her voice low but still she didnt look at him.

"you should have woken me..you know if you need me then all you had to do was-"

"NO....i didnt need you,i just had a bad dream stop doing that..."

"Doing what?" Her tone was hurtful to him and this time he knew he hadnt done anything wrong.

"What you do...what you always do,make me feel like im the kid like im not capible of doing things for myself...i am you know..."

Still her behaviour baffled him her trance hadnt budged...she hadnt budged....He was so scared.

"i know you can honey,whats this all about..."

There was a short pause,so silent that the only thing tha could be heard were the birds outside.

" I left my life for you...i didnt realise it at the time but i left my life to enter yours and somewhere in between loving you i lost myself...my whole self....My job,my home,my life that i wanted and worked for...all,just gone because of you...Because i loved you i wanted to be with you so bad that i thought i could still be me but just with you,you know?"

He didnt know, her words where strange,and still she hadnt moved.To a stranger it would seem that she was on some sort of drug..but he knew that wasnt the case.So he did his best to snap her out of it opening all the blinds and switching on lamps all over the room he finally saw her face as she looked up at him.

"Ava i need for you to start making sense here ok because i dont..i dont understand this..Is it about your job,you want it back because if you do then we could do that or wait or,Av just talk to me i really dont get this."

"Neither do i...its just i need well i guess i need time justin time to find what i lost this last year,i mean ive gained so much and i love you so much and nothing will ever change that i promise,but i need to be me without you..so when you go to England im moving back in to my place and i wanna stay there till i have the baby and after that we'll see...what happens with us and what we need."

She had to be kidding,she had to be hormonal...this was insane she was happy he knew it hell he saw it she couldnt fake that could she?

"Ava this is crazy ok i get that your worried about being a mom an all but honey your not alone in this ok im here..and whatever you need-"


"Im more than capible of doing it myself...see you dont listen do you...i dont NEED you Justin im with you because i want to be,and i want to be able to still be a me when im an us...to the world im just your girl and i got sucked into that way of thinking,i lived my life around yours...and i wont do that again see, i finally realised it tonight! i had this dream and in the dream i was swimming,then i was stuck being pushed down someone was trying to kill me!..And you know who was helping to kill me?"

with her words it finally hit him and the guilt he felt for causing her so much pain was unbareable..

"Me..i was killing you..." He stated sadly.She just nodded.

I was killing her...


Getting booted up for the airport the house was filled with people,some she knew some she didnt.Most of the hours before he left where spent together in their room disussing all that she had said the few hours before.

They had agreed that she needed to find herself again before anything else, he need to know her sanity wasnt on edge like it seems to be before.So he didnt protest when she started packing her things.He wasnt happy about what she had suggested but he knew it was what she needed.As i watched her place her necessities in her hold all i ventured conversation.

"Does this mean what i think it means?" I had to ask...

"I still love you if thats what you mean..i just need...god i dont even know but no matter what, know that i love you,im just confused is all...time will do its thing and ill be back to my old self again...i hope."

She might be back to her old self but would she be back to him?

As she sat her cases down near the door she started tidying,being stopped only by his hands on her expanding hips and almost fully formed bump,"You still my girl..." It was all he said before placing his head gently on her stomach...It killed her to say what she said before,but it needed to be done.

"Always......" with that she kissed him on the forehead just as Tiny
arrived for airport call...
"Ok...i gotta.."


She nodded,he frowned.

"Yeah i no...i love you,be safe and i know you'll kill em'...." seeing her smile meant a lot to him at that second as he embraced her in a huge hug and whispering into her ear "if you want me to stay i will..in a heart beat ill do it,Av your it for me..ill do anything."

Pulling back she wiped the tears from her eyes. "No, no they want you bad over there,we'll be just fine until you get back...i promise.."

Regretfully he backed away confessing his love for her once more before turning on his heels and heading out the door.</span>

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whatchagot4meMRJT
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Postby whatchagot4meMRJT » Mon May 30, 2005 6:02 pm

WHAT? This better be the hormones or I'm gonna die. She can't leave Justin. No, no, no, no. :( But if a little time away from him is all it takes to reflect on some things, then I guess I can allow that. Gosh, I'm sure that Justin is going to be worried sick about her while in England. And if he does anything with Dana ... he is DEAD! <_<

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laura
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Postby laura » Mon Jun 06, 2005 8:40 am

<span style='color:hotpink'>ok i know i know! the drama continues! for now at least..... i hope ya like it!!


Before i knew it a whole week had passed and as i ajusted to being alone at night and doing my own thing i realised i had survived on my own,a fact i wouldnt have believed a week ago. As much as i missed him and talked to him constantly i felt really good about being in MY place for a change just doing what i wanted.I even volentered at my office again when Paiges dad stopped by and asked me to help with an old client, i didnt tell justin though 'cause i knew he hit the roof with "pressure" on me...Heaven forbid i actually move... I was regaining my independence and it was fantastic!

"Ok you guys five minutes till we leave ok so,be ready!" Tiny annonced exiting the hotel room just as Dana entered.

"Is Justin here Trace?"he glanced up at the tall brunette who wasnt
wearing a whole lot other than a cut up tank top and a really low
slung dark demin skirt. "uh,yeah i think hes in his bedroom.he should
be out in a second..."

Passing him on the sofa she just walked on into the room closed off
with double doors.

"Justin..."

On hearing her voice he came right out of the bathroom,still missing
his t-shirt leaving him topless.

"Dana,whats wrong..."

Walking over to the big unmade bed she sat down, in an unusual way-
how did that girl make sitting down sexual?

"ohhh..nothing i was just bored is all..what are you doin'"

"i have an interview later,im just about to leave actually...you guys
ready for that show tonight?"

Smiling that allknowing smile she nodded "Of course baby you know
we are...they're dying to get you on stage again,its been sooo long!"

"yeah it has i like it here..the fans are like 100 times more crazy here
but its cool!"

"Ahuh..." Looking around the bedroom as if she was looking for
something... "So your here all by yourself again huh..."

i could have sworn we had this conversation a week ago.. "uh yeah
Av-"

"So how are you justin,i mean being here like this alone cant be
easy...i mean arent you...."

"Are'nt i want?"

Looking at me from under her lids with a slight pout...Damn.

"Lonely?i mean she didnt even want to come with you and this is so
importaint and its such a long way from home i-well if it way my
boyfriend id be here is all im sayin' "

After her comments i couldnt help but think somewhere she was
right,of course i didnt expect Ava to be with me....she was almost into
her third trimester.But she never calls me,im always the one to call
her and sure i may be busy but hell it wouldnt go a miss if she even
pretended to care!!But i couldnt think about that now,nor could i think
about all i had been thinking about for the last week. She moved out
of my place...well ok so she never really moved in,but now...i mean
where we together?where we broken up? i had no idea and she
never talked about it....



"av...whats the deal..i mean you've been avoiding me all week girl?"

"Elisha what are you talking about im here aren't i..."

Walking around town popping in and out of various baby stores i
managed to buy all nutural colours for clothes and blankets...and hit a
few things that where a dead give away to what i was carrying...

"yeah but only because i came and dragged you...whats wrong,i
mean are you and J ok?why did you move out...you guys aren't in
trouble are you?"

Well she certainly got to the point......

"NO...no we're,just...its me ok i needed some space from all his
sh**...all my sh**,basically all our sh**.."

"But your still.."

"Elisha,look i love him i do...more than myself and thats the problem i
need to find me again inside all that madness that i just got so lost in
this last year, i mean think about it other than being HIS girlfriend
soon to HIS wife mother of HIS kid...what am i?
I dont have a job or a
real purpose here any more and if i lost him again what the hell would
i do?"

"wow...thats..ok your in a weird place right now i get but Ava give him
a break ok?Yeah this life is insane but you knew that even before you
even met him so you knew...""

"yes i did...but i also need a life of my own and if he cant deal then
tough!"

"Do you hear yourself girl? i mean come on...your about to give birth
ok? He loves you soo much he calls me and... hes so lonely Ava..and
you dont even call him i mean whats that about..."

"Look this has nothing to do with you...its our relationship ok? "

The look of shock across her face was unreal,she just totally insulted
her...

"well..your both my friends and i care about you so it kinda is my
business when your both hurting,i mean seriously isnt this the time
when you all get closer?And instead your an ocean apart and dont
hardly talk? And you say thats..what? Fine? I dont think so girl"

Walking around the beverly centre trying my best not to trip over by
belly,i realised she was right!I was an idiot...I was so busy trying not
to become my mother that i didnt see i was becoming my father...I
knew i was pushing him,testing him..But wasnt it necessary? I mean
in a few months this baby would be here and we would have to deal
with it, wasnt it better to find out now if he was really in it than when
i give birth and he does a runner??.

But having been given a pep talk
from both Elisha and then Lynn i realised that yes i was being way to
hard on him, so swallowing my b****y pride i picked up the phone and
dialled the number he left for me to the Standard Hotel in
London.

Getting transfered with his code it rang,and rang...Just when i
was about to hang up i heard shuffling.

"Heeellooo..." it was a womans voice in a rather drunk state it
seemed-did i get the wrong number?

"um,im sorry i think i have the wrong-"

Just then i heard a mans voice in the back ground,my mans!

"Who is it?" was all i heard before he came on the line.

"Hello?"

"Justin..."

"OH AVA! hey how are you i know i havent called today but i was sooo
busy i swear i bearly had time to eat!!"

"oh im...you know im good..you sound..Drunk...what ya doin'?"

"Party..well sorta.. i mean its just the crew and the dancers you know
but its fun,just chillin' "

"Who answered the phone?" i had to ask...like you wouldnt.

"um,Dana..shes,well i was showing her something in the bathroom."

"WHAT?"

"no..no the showers here as so weird...its like not one shower head
but like three in one...its huge!!" Ok did he not realise what he was
saying...

"So you where in the shower with Dana......ill let you get back to then
shall i?"

"Av...you know thats not it girl...come on now!And besides i miss
yoooou....what you doin'"

Getting pissed off!

"Just in tonight i think Paige is coming over..so back to Dana...What is
all that about.."

"Its no-thing ok?I wouldnt do that to you..or us...not again...I lost you
once and i swore id never do it again..so believe me...Please?"

I had a hard time not when he started sprouting sh** like that.

"Ok,well i gotta go... i miss you too."

At that he smiled,and wished he was right next to her.

" I love you so much...and hey ive got the day off tomorow so im
going shopping for one of your bithday gifts...so anything you've been
wanting lately?"

Smirking she could think of only one answer "You mean besides you?
Na not really.."

"you want me?" his voice just got lower than it had a few minutes ago
that low that basically says sex!

"Well...yeah of course! Why do you want me?" Laughing in to the
reciever as if i was crazy for even asking it.

"Well what do you think....i want you so bad right now its insane i
mean i know when i left things weren't exactly great...but i want them
to be again and if that means me moving in with you...and i dont
know, just being with you in your space then i'll do it!"

That made her smile,althought logically speaking there was noway
him,her and their baby could stay in her little two box bedroom
appartment,but it was sweet of him non the less.After some more idle
chitchat they finally said goodbye,she was at home ready to just veg
out in front of the tv,he on the other hand had to go to a club he was
due to join pharell and chad on stage at a little gig in the city.She
wished she could have seen it.

But somehow after their conversation she was feeling a whole lot
more lighter than she had been so she and bump sat back and waited
for Niptuck...And Paige to arrive with the necessities...ie...chocolate
and cheesy doritios...aw heaven.

Getting throught the set was amazing,it had been so long since i had
been in that atmosphere and been on stage the adreniline from it
was crazy,Those Brits knew how to party and then some so settling
back with like my fifth beer i was lost in conversation with Trace over
something when i was tapped on the shoulder,a tall toned brunette
was standing behind me with a smile the size of Texas.

"Dance with
me?"
Was what she said in her native English twang,she sounded

sweet.

I look at trace who just shuggs at me before telling me to just
dance with her,what harm could it do? So i took her hand like she
offered and we ended up in the centre of the dance floor to quiet a
fast number which was good.The girl whos name was Rachel kept up
with me which was good she had a nice body and really long hair that
swayed when she moved..It was kinda hypnotic and extremely
sexual...

Ok yes i was thinking about it...sex that is,since ive been practically a priest this last few months the desire was weighing on my mind just a little...I was so entraced by her movements that i didnt see her,move in towards my ear "Your a better dancer than i would have thought"

"Meaning?"

"Nothing" She giggled again, "I just figured it was just good chorography....its not..."

I just smiled at her opinion as she continued to move against me,getting me move than a little aroused.

Suddenly her hands where on my hips,and i dont know why but i didnt pay an noticed to what they where doing until i felt it...her
hands in places they shouldnt have been,namely my thigh..Lifting her hands again i gently shook my head no hoping she'd catch the drift.
She just pouted slightly...and came for my ear again. "Aw whats wrong... i thought you liked me..its just innocent?"

"I cant...i, i'm with someone..."

"Oh..is she here?"

"well..no but i-" I couldnt finish something stopped me,her lips to be
exact.. HOLY sh**!

As it registered with me what she was doing i pulled back and told her
again NO before walking off the floor and signaling to trace that i was
leaving.....Of all things to do....surely everyone knew about his
relationship with Ava by now? Oh god...Ava, he dreaded to think what
she was gonna say when she found out about this.



The day Justin was due home i couldnt have been happier if i tried,I
got my old job back from Paiges dad,of course id have to wait...till
after i had the baby and then my time at home afterwards, but he
said anytime i wanted it,it was there...Awesome huh? So in honor of
both my little bit of news and the fact that he was FINALLY coming
home i decided to cook...Two weeks,the longest two weeks ever if you ask me...i love England but they've had him long enough! And the
single went straight to number one? can you believe it?Yup im so
proud!

So as difficult as it was to move my six month pregnant body around
now, i somehow managed a whole meal by myself.So stealing all of
Lynns recipies i got to finishing with an array of food since my cravings
where so messed up i cooked almost everything i knew how including
lemon chicken in breadcrumbs with veg and mashed potatoes,as well
as chicken fried steak sweet potatoe pie,there was ice cream crumble
in there too...ok so i got a little carried away.He was due home any
minute and thats when the telephone rang. "God Ava im so sorry i
just saw it...i cant believe he'd do that Again, oh honey are you ok?"

"Paige...what in the hell are you talking about....He who did what?"

The line was silent,as i balanced it with bowl of potatoes that i was
creaming in my other arm...

"Paige hello?"

"Well i...you havent seen the Star? Ooh..never mind then..."

"PAIGE!!what is it already?"

"its...a picture ava of justin..kissing this girl, i dont think-

There was a smash and it didnt even register till i look at my blood
covered feet,i'd dropped the bowl...And the phone.

NO,he didnt he swore to me,he SWORE ON MY BABYS LIFE, That
bastard...not again,he swore to me not again.Still sanding in the
same spot id been in for the last ten minutes with bleeding feet and
all i heard his key in the door followed by the soppiest "Honey im
home" I wanted to cut his throat!!!

Walking into the kitchen his smile instantly faded.. "Ava..Jesus your
bleeding...." He rushed past me and dampened a wash cloth as i just
eyed him...

"what the hell happened here..." Looking around i saw what he
meant,remains of smashed kitchen wear mashed potatoes and my
blood flooded the floor..

"You cheated on me.." I managed calmly.

The scared look in his eye told me everything.

"No i didnt Ava that girl she kissed me and i..pushed her away and
walked out....."

Of course i didnt believe him...


"Really?if thats the case then why didnt you tell me?"

As he continued to wipe the blood from my legs i ignored the pains
and continued to stare him out for it.

"I..didnt want to upset-I didnt know what to say Ava because i knew
if i told you over the phone you'd freak and i couldnt let that happen
over nothin'"

"you swore to me,you said it would never happen again.....you
bastard, i believed you...and you just stepped all over my
trust......how could you." a still my voice remained calmer than i
thought.

" I DIDNT!!! i didnt i swear to you i would do that again,never Ava i
swear im not like that!"

"OH NOO YOUR NOT LIKE THAT YOU DONT EVER CHEAT DO YOU,YOUR
A REAL ANGEL AREN'T YOU? ITS NOT LIKE YOU SLEPT WITH THAT
DANCER AND THEN ME AND JUST FORGOT TO MENTION IT IS IT???"

"Ava please calm down this isnt healthy....your stressing yourself out
here..."

In her eyes he saw the fury,there was no calming her down now...

"ME? f*** YOU OK IM NOT STRESSING ME OUT YOU ARE!!!!!"

I tried to remain calm as i thought at least one of us should.

"Look i mean it,nothing happened when she kissed me i walked...and
i think you should know that i am NOT lying to you..."

I saw her trying to breathe,hopefully to calm down before she sent
the baby into shock "Ok,say i believe you...if i believe you why didnt
you just say something...i mean really?"

"i-i was scared..."

"SEE...if you didnt do anything WHY WERE YOU AFRAID?"

"AVA...STOP YELLIN' AT ME OK?f***...I MEAN IT WHEN I TELL YOU
THAT NOTHING HAPPENED AND IF YOU DONT BELIEVE ME THEN WHAT
THE f*** ARE WE DOIN' HERE????IF YOU DONT TRUST ME THEN WHY
ARE YOU HERE!!!!!!!!"

I saw the tears brimming in her eye lids,i hated seeing her cry i hated
that i made her cry.....

"You know ive been wondering the same myself...I trusted you and
what happened?i lost myself and got so swallowed up in your life that
your all i had...what was i thinking?" She threw her arms in the air for
her usual dramatic effect before storming past me "Your not worth all
this sh**..."


<span style='color:blue'>***********</span>


I heard her feet on the stairs and then a sudden
stop... "Ahhh...oh..aw jesus..." I rushed out to the bottom of the
staircase to see her sitting on one of the steps holding her
stomach.Sheer panic rushed through my body as i ran to her.

"What is it?Are you ok?"

"Get away from me...i just have,ooh jesussss....oh,my god...i think
im...ohhh god i cant be here...."

Ignoring her demand to leave her alone i helped her to the bottom of
the stairs for the fear that she'd fall.

"I SAID..Get away from me i dont need you...."

"Look i know your mad but your also in pain,we're going to the
hospital...."


"NO! IM FINE,"still squirming in pain i rolled my eyes as i got her coat
and lead her to the door.



Getting to the entrace of the hospital i managed to get her inside and
with a doctor before anyone could really notice us,thank god not
causing a scene she was less vocal towards me after her doctor showed up.

"Ava,what seems to be the problem...." Her lady doctor came rushing through the door.

"i dont know the pain...its too early i cant be having this baby...i cant be not now...its too soon!!!" she was paniced as anyone in her position would be,for what she was going through and for what started it.

"Ok Ava your going to have to calm down ok..so i can see whats happening with you and the baby...ok so...lets see..." As the doctor did her thing under the cover of the large extremely white sheets, i was terrified,i couldnt be in labour,i had three more months to freak out about that-this was way to soon.And it was all his fault,standing there like he gives a sh**.....hes the one that started this tonight...Bastard!

As i watched the doctors talk,whilst looking-down there i was so scared i swore i'd pass out.
"well Ava,your dialated four centimetres...its not much but its too much for us to stop...we're gonna be having a baby here tonight...

"WHAT? NO ITS WAAY TO SOON DOCTOR PLEASE THIS CANT HAPPEN
NOT NOW..."

All the time im freaking out and hes saying nothing,just looking as
scared as i feel....

"Ava.Justin i promise you i wont leave until your baby is safe and right
now in order for you both to be healthy we need to deliver...i promise
you'll both be fine yes 27 weeks is premature but millions of babies
are born this way and are absolutely fine...believe me,we have the best antinatal staff in the state here...your in good hands.. "

With that she exited and left me with him.Still not saying anything.
Lying back on the bed that i was hooked up to drips and an annoying heart monitor as was the baby i heard the small beeps of the pumping throughtout the room,and to think there was a time when those sounds scared me more than anything else, now it was the best sound in the world.

"Ava...im so sorry i did this i put you here.....im,sorry."

still i didnt look at him,because at that minute all i wanted was him to
hug me and tell me i was gonna be ok,that our baby was gonna be
ok.But i couldnt-he betrayed me.

"Justin i want you to leave."

"what?"

"YOU..I want you to leave ok? i dont need you for this we dont need
you.."

There was a shocked silence as he just blinked,

"No,im not going anywhere...not now not ever...thats my baby Ava
and your my fiancee and you need me weather you know it or not!"

"No justin i needed a guy who was honest with me who didnt cheat
on me,you are not that guy..." Sure i was being mean,but come on i
had no proof that he didnt and i was in so much pain it was
undiscribable.In my heart i felt that he was telling me the truth but i
couldnt be that gulable anymore i had to do something big that night
and it wasnt letting him at my heart again.

"Look, ok hate me all you want you think im lieing then ok...it seems i
cant change your mind now can i? you dont trust me enough or even
love me...so maybe i shouldnt be here for those reasons Ava.But
thats my kid in there in danger and i trust you and i love you enough
to know that you can do this without me,but im not that guy Ava i
wont just walk away from you because your mad at me because i just
can't." As he told me he needed to make calls he walked out of the
room,my cell rang and i answered it - i shouldnt have but i didnt think.

It was Elisha,telling me that Paige had called her and told her what
she saw,she then before i could even get a word in continued to tell
me that Trace had called her from England the night it happened and
told her everything...that some English ho' had come on to him but he
actually didnt do anything he just left,alone!As i told her i was in
labour she screamed in excitment and dropped the phone....


god that
girl....


When he walked back into the room more tense than i think ive ever
seen him he informed me he had called both his and my mom and that
his mom would call anyone else that she felt needed to know.


he sat on the chair beside me on the bed...just staring at his feet.

As i felt another contraction coming on i grip tightly at the iron gate
thing that was keeping me from falling out of the bed...the pain welled
up from nowhere and hit my entire body starting from my
cervix...jesus christ this childbirth thing is evil....

"Are you ok..." he asked face full of concern as he jumped from the
seat to be by my side...At that second i knew something,that yes he
did tell me the truth and that yes i was a complete b**** and hormonal
cow for not seeing what i always saw- the look in his eyes...that look
that told me everything i ever needed to know, from when we first
met that look of genuine affection that i saw looking back at me even
thought i tried to fight it-telling me that i was safe,the pain i saw
when i broke up with him,The happiness when he purposed...all just
from those baby blues...

So instead of saying what i should have said,i grabbed his hand on
the bar joined it with mine and did what i knew he wanted- i held
on...no matter what i held on.


"Ok Ava your almost nine centimetres,when we get to ten im gonna need you to start pushing ok sweetheart..."

We? i love how she just slipped out the 'we' in all this,funny it felt like
my body this was coming out of...

We were in the hospital now nine hours,we had visitors and
family..most had come seen congratulated,prayed cried and left...lynn
had come and gone to get somethings from justins for me....and the
baby.We had been moved to a larger 'suite' might i add..the other
one was just as private but apparently being with J made me more
special than the other ten billion woman on the plantet doing exactly the same thing.....it was nice but unnecessary,sweet digs didnt equal no pain...

9 Hours...man..this was hell it really was...everytime i felt a
contraction i screamed...i was told it was allowed so hell i wasnt
holding back this sh** hurt! Its like taking a melon and trying to get it through a hole smaller than a lemon...not exactly easy....Im never having sex again...that bastard got the easy part..he got laid...But in saying that, the bastard has been here 9 hours and counting holding
my hand to the point where i think i was squeeing so tight i was leaving blisters....with nothing but encouragement and lots of damn ice chips he continued to help..in big ways and small...Sometimes just wiping my forehead helped...dont ask me how though!

Five am...man...five am...

"Justin i cant do this im too tired, i cant ok...you do it..." as the contractions stopped for a second i lyed back down,now covered in sweat and other icky body fluids...

"aw sweetie i would if i could...but thank god im not, i wouldnt have even got this far!! Your so amazing..."

"na-ah...sweet talking me not isnt gona get ya nowhere!Ahhhhhh oooh for f*** sake this is insaneee......."Another one as doctor Adams came rushing in to check....

Seeing her lying there on that bed she looked so small and scared,but she was doing the most amazing job...she was giving our child life...and early too! She was a trooper....i loved her before, and i didnt think it would be possible to love her any more than i did,but somehow my love and admiration for her grew a hundred times that night...as did my respect for her...she was A-maz-ing!!


"Ok Ava your ten centimetres.......Lets go!!!"</span>

:D


well???? :unsure:

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Postby whatchagot4meMRJT » Mon Jun 06, 2005 9:18 am

Laura, way to put me through a rollercoaster of emotions. :lol: I'm glad that Justin got her to the hospital right away and refused to leave. I'm sure most guys would have hit the ground running. :no: This baby better be born soon and then they can live happily ever after. :)

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Postby laura » Mon Jun 06, 2005 9:35 am

;) well....you would think,but you know me.... muhahaha!!!!! :huh:

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Postby laura » Fri Jun 17, 2005 10:16 am

<span style='color:dodgerblue'>
*****
Getting wheeled into the deliverly room was the longest time if ever had wait,finally they had it set so that i could come in,clad in those blue paper overalls so i could be present with Ava who was in complete and utter pain as i walked in she instantly grabbed my hand again as i did my best to keep her encouragement up!

Most of it consisted of a LOT of yelling from both the doctors telling her to push and her of course telling them to push off and leve her alone,still in the most pain she still managed to joke?How the hell was she doing this? This was the girl who couldnt programme the tivo but she was giving life?
Needless to say i was completely amazed..Push after push i saw her tiny body slow drain of its self,but somehow she kept it up...
As i did my best to see her throught it even thought i was sure that when it was all over so where we i over heard the doctors whispering about loss of blood..I didnt know if it was from Ava or the baby.

"Whats going on..." I asked the female of the three doctors that were present in the room.

Looking up from where she sat she brought me to one side and told me that the baby was in distress that it happens with premautre births and that it was stuck....they had waited for her to dialate so that the deliverly could be as natural as possible,but now there where complications and Ava was losing a lot of blood and they my have to perform a emergancy operation to get the baby out...
I knew what she was saying but on the other hand i didnt?

Where they going to be ok?

"Justin...whats the matter...whats happening?" She looked up at me so tired and pale i told her as nicely as i could trying not to panic her.however the second i told her,her heart monitor jumps off the charts and her blood pressure was rising.

The doctors tried to calm her down,but i dont know what happened one minute she was looking at me the next she had lost consiousness....I never felt so hopeless in all my life.I was there, this was the woman i loved and there was nothing i could do about it!

As i watched the doctors give her oxygen,change the bags of blood the male doctor whos name escaped me came and told me what was going on, they said she had gone into toxic shock with the loss of blood and the pressure on her body,they where going to get the baby out and they told me it would take less than 60 seconds?

"well ok..but why didnt you do this in the first place,putting her throught all of this when you could have stopped it!!! " I all but yelled,but i was scared...i knew they where doing the best
they could but at that moment it sure as hell didnt feel like it!

I saw her breathing,i saw her heart beat on the little screen then i saw the doctor cut right in to her stomach...My legs where getting weak but somehow i stayed upright.Less than a minute later there was a baby.....our baby,so tiny and helpless covered in...eww...
He pulled it out and turned to me....

"You have a daughter Mr Timberlake...congratulations..." A girl?

Ohmygod...i have a little girl...

I stood speechless as the nurse wrapped her in a blanket and cleaned her up,i only held her for a few seconds it felt like, she was so beautiful...Beause of her premature birth her lungs hadnt developed properly and they said they'd have to keep her in an incubater to ensure her healthy growth and survival....

At the time i didnt understand it as i looked from her to Ava who still hadnt woken up and the doctors continued to work with her as she laid on the table i managed to get to her and just as i whispered to her that we had a daughter the little machine above my head went off....with this insanely loud one beeping noise...

"flatline"????

i heard one of the nurses call out as they rolled in a big machine and started it up... what was? No..No way..

I watched as they tore open her shirt,i watched as they shocked her,once..twice...three times and still the one beep continued....this wasnt happening...it couldnt have been happening I was losing her...

They tired to move me away from her but i wouldnt move i couldnt leave her...as the shouting continued throught out the room with people rushing in and out with blood,with injections i just kept whispering into her ear....i need her to come back...her daughter needed her to come back to us.

Her body was limp,her face so pale...i couldnt be losing her i refused to believe that.
<span style='color:purple'> **************</span>

As i watched then wheel in the tiny box like structure made of what i thought was hard plastic i saw her,tiny and new all covered in tubes...completely helpless.Baby Timberlake 5;34am was all it said on her teeny tab.

She was only a few hours old but had gone throught so much.The Doctors estimated that about two to three months should have her at the normal weight and development before she would be allowed home, i guess its right?She was really meant to be here for another two months... I sat in the nicely decorated pink and white room just watching her lie there.That was my daughter.

Still somewhat entraced by her tiny little image i didnt hear the door.It was my mom and never did i need her more than i did at that moment,she had heard what happened since when she arrived she didnt say anything she just hugged me..and we sat in complete silence just watching the baby together.

Whispering to me as she sat on the arm of the chair i occupied. "shes so tiny...but so beautiful.."

"Yeah..she is,kinda like her mom that way shes tiny but strong.."

Smiling at me she asked "How is she?Ava.. i mean?"

Blowing air from my cheeks i got up of the chair and made it to
the window.it was just after seven thirty am and the city was
already packed with people."I dont know? To be honest...i mean
they've had her in there since after 5:45,and they wont tell
me...

All i know is that she had 'internal complications',um bleeding i think and some other stuff....They brought her back with compressions and shocks--,god mom what if something happens to her.."

"No what if's ok?she'll be fine,shes a surviver you know that, i know that,hell she knows that..."

" I hope so mom i really do..."



There was beeping,thats all i remember lots of beeping and shouting and then nothing just colours and then there was silence the most paceful silence ive ever experienced,when i opened my eyes i wasnt in the room i was before, it was a pink room with white in the centre-it was bright out but i didnt know what time it was or where anyone else went to?
Seeing the monitors and the tubes i was instantly brought back to the other room,what happened to my baby? I looked down and saw my body i was bandaged up from the bottom of my stomach?
No bump...NO BABY...

"Ohmygod...wheres my baby!!!ooh god..."

With that the door to the room opened and in stepped


"Justin,thank God...

"baby your awake..." Sitting down gently he beside me hugging me with such ease...he was afraid to hurt me.I just was glad he was there,his presence was never more needed than it was at that second.

"what happend Justin where is she?is she ok? God what happened...."
He smiled that was good right?

"shes here,shes just getting fed..."

"Shes ok?" I asked in complete confusion

"Well..not 100% but she will be.We where so worried about
you...how are ya' feelin'?"

"uh...tired..sore.. J' what happened to me?"

Curling into her as much as i could without hurting her, i
managed to tell her everything that i was told..Internal bleeding
mixed with stress brought on the contractions and then it was
too late when they noticed so thats when she blacked out.The operation stopped any bleeding and they somehow managed to get her back.That was about six hours ago.

"where is she? i wanna see her..."

Smiling i told her i'd go get her for her.

As he wheeled in the tiny incubator with the nurse that was
monitoring my blood pressure and what not he set her in beside
my bed.The amount of joy that welled up in me at that second
was undiscribable i just fell completely in love with this little tiny
person who i had just met.

With tears fresh and evident in both our eyes he again settled in
beside me.

"Pretty neat huh?" I somehow managed to laugh throught the
tears.

"yeah...she's so tiny,god...thats our Baby..we made that."

"well i just helped..you did most of it...hey?"

"yeah.."

"Thank you..Thank you for making her for us,and thank you for
coming back to me"

finally tearing my eyes away from her tiny little body i looked im
in the eyes.

"Your welcome.."
********************
Bringing her her birthday gifts i thought was a good idea,since she had bearly could move form her bed i figured since we had a few moments alone id give then to her.

"what do you think?" As i placed the expensive jewellery on her lap all that really didnt seem like anything after all she had given me, but i watched as she opened the watch and the earring with the bracelets." familair ooh's and aww's came from her so i figured that was a good thing.

"Thats not all...theres this..."

I placed the envlope on her lap too as she sat up to place the other items on her nightstand.

"whats this???" in complete surprise she opened the envelope

"Jesus?your kiddin' right?"

It was a picture,of the thing i been trying to organise since
christmas practically.

"Justin...this is amazing i cant be-"

"so you like it?" i beamed.

Looking at me throught the tops of her eyelids as if i was crazy
for even asking.

"of course! Justin we own this?"

"you...and well i guess me but its in your name, think of it as a
piece of your independance i just wanted you to have ,other
than that its all yours to do with what you want."

"Justin...."

"No i mean it,i heard what you said and if needs be i'll do
anything and this is part of the anything,sure we both can use it
when we go there but if you ever need to just get away for a
while its there too."

What he was referring to was the house,the house that i fell in
love with in Hawaii the last time we where there,and as it turns out the place of beautiful daughter was concieved.It was special to me we spend three weeks in that house from the end of November till just before the 20th of December.I never wanted to leave it!!!!


"You know you guys really gotta name her,shes been "baby Timberlake" for what like a week already its insane shes so gonna have a complex about herself when she grows up you know?"
ah,the wisdom of Paige.
Sitting up fully dressed i peered in to her,sleeping soundly..still
so tiny...

"Yeah i know we do,but its hard you know i mean its a name theres a lot in a name and we dont wanna screw it up."

She just nodded helping me pack up my things,i was getting realised from the hospital that day,tuesday June 30th and my baby was a week old well ok so seven days six hours and oh about 35 and a half minutes...but whos counting right? And yes
we STILL hadnt decided on a name for her...but like i said a difficult task.

I got to go home,but she didn't so there was really no point in me leaving since i'd basically be there all the time anyway.
But i had to leave before they kicked me out.And having talked it over with Justin we both agreed id move back in to his place,and it wasnt just because of the baby either,i wanted to be there with them.
which was a great feeling.

The pain was all but gone,i still had the wounds of the war that was childbirth but i'll wear them with pride! I was a whole lot more relaxed about this whole motherhood thing now that i had what i saw as the most terrifing thing over with,and i figured if i could survive that and all that happened just to get her here,well with her here with me i could anything!Justin on the other hand was a nervous wreck when he came to pick me up from my delux suite that was hospital hell...he was scared...

"What if something goes wrong with your healing...what if the baby needs blood or something and we dont get here in time...what if-"

Pulling my black cashmere sweater over my white tank top that i teamed with my old jeans...that i somehow got into again,not really sure how that happened but...well im not complaining i managed to sit him down on the bed beside me.

"Honey,we live like fifteen minutes from here...shes fine they're just gonna take the best care of her...and sure i have to give blood every two days for her just in case but thats all good...and we'll be here all the time, until she can come with us...so please baby...breathe..."

He just sat with his fingers in the tiny compartments of the cube that held our baby and kept her healthy and growing,ever so gently he stroked her teeny arm.It was the sweetest thing...
"I know your right an all...but i just feel so-"

"Me too...i hate the idea of leaving her here..like we're bad parents an all...But dude if a stay here any longer there sooo gonna kick me out!!!" smiling as he walked to embrace me i cuddled into his chest,for the first time in days i was able to stand without pain which was nice.

"so what are we gonna name her..."

"Dont know,we should really hurry up about to though...i mean what if paige was right?"

"Ava..."

"ok so thats not likely but still she neeeds a name..."


When i reached the house i was met by two things,the aroma of something mighty fine coming from the kitchen and a sitting room filled with gifts? Much to my confusion as i didnt know where they came from.

"Mom..we're home...." Was the annoncement as justin left my things upstairs,the appearance of Lynn came to view as she sprinted from the kitchen.

"Oh honey how are you..." embracing me in the tighest hug i think ive ever recieved.

"Aw,you know...fine tired but fine..whats all this?" I pointed to
the sofas and tables that where covered in gifts wrapped in pink and gold paper as well as loads more scattered about the room.

"Oh,gifts for my granddaughter from your friends,j's friends and a few people i dont even think you know!!"

Smiling she left me to sit as she went back to work in the kitchen.
Looking to my left i lifted a medium sized box and read the card on top.

"To baby timberlake welcome to the world,god bless you and your amazing momma.. love rev.Al Green&Family.

"Wow...JUSTIN...Al Green sent us a gift....THE Al green....thats
so..."

As he came bouncing down the stairs he was smiling, "Yeah, i
know i havent opened any of them yet i wanted to bring them to the hospitial but there were to many so i waited...I saw cards from Brad Pitt,Pharell of course,Eva and Jc,Adam and rachel,Paige and John, the guys...um im not sure who else but-"

"Justin i bearly recognise most of these names? How do they know me..." i rumaged throught the stacks of pink wrapped gifts as he walked towards me.

Laughing at me...he put his arm around me and pulled me back to the chair." Well honey i hate to break it to you but the entire world knows you now,and the baby...And most of those in the corner are from producers andd people that ive met along the line it was really sweet of them i guess."

"yeah...but i met Brad Pitt once and then i was a total
idiot....thats so cool that he-"

At my gushing i noticed he looked a little uncomfortable...oops.
"Well..i mean not that i care who he is and i of course dont fancy him...i was just..."

"yeah yeah whatever girl i know what you think...."

sheepishly i look up at him,pouting as always to try and get my way.

"Im sorry... you know i love you the most right?"

"well,it wouldnt kill you to say it once in a while..." the grin
escaped his lips as i punched him slightly before heading to the
kitchen.

"Lynn need any help?" I inspect what she was working on,which
i was pleased to see was real southern food....finally!!!

"no honey you relax..how's the pain..."

"Still there....but im gonna be just dandy..Um Lynn where there
any messages for me?"

Looking to the celing as if thinking it over,she nodded no "not
that i know of why?where you expecting any?"

"oh..um well just,well i would have thought my mom would have
called thats all...but i guess...never mind.Look will you tell Justin
when he gets off the phone that im gone to take a shower?"

"No problem honey you do your thing he'll be finnne...."

"Thanks..."

As i made my way up the second staircase,the back way
upstairs i reached the bathroom and switched on the water,but still made no effort to get undressed to actually get in.

"f*** it" i reached for the phone and dialled the number that
would get me through to the devil.After three rings someone
answered.

"Yes?"

"hello.." I managed.

"yes?" it was a man's voice of that i was sure..a deep voiced
man.

"Is...Linda there please?"

"Yes whos calling."

"Her daughther..."

"Ava?"

"Well unless you know of any other daughters she has?Who is
this?"

Silence only came from the other line.

"Um,your mother had a accident a few days ago,Ava and hurt
her arm quiet badly thats why she hasnt been in touch and i feel
like i should tell you that she's glad you and the baby are ok,she
got your boyfriends message and was planning on flying out to see you but well-"

"Who is this?" I felt like i recognised the voice,but i wasnt 100%.

"Ava.. its your father...."

I couldnt believe it,he was kidding right i mean who the hell was this guy i froze at his admission unable to even speak.

"Ava i know this is a bit of a shock but im so glad you called, I've been wanting to talk to you.."
coming round after a semi-brain melt.

"what?No..your not your not my...you left when i was..What the f*** are you doing there?"

"sweetheart calm down ok..im-"

"What are you doing there..." I asked again with a lot more power in my voice.

"After the accident they called me,the hospital since no one else was here for her as family i was the only one they could get hold of..."

"How..i mean you move to...and you..."

"No,Ava i never....I've always been here in Ireland that was
just...well that wasnt true.

"What?"

"Look i think we need to talk but i cant do this over the phone sweetheart. I cant.."

The last thing i wanted was him coming here...After all this time i couldnt believe what he was saying to me.That he was speaking to me at all at that moment.

"Well ok then ill come home...I wanna hear what you BOTH have to say about this!"

After i hung up the telephone i slowly made my way down stairs,and found that Justin had escaped to the studio.So walking the small distance of the grounds i found him hold up fixing something in the sound booth.

Still in shock i just sat in one of the many swivel chairs and waited.

"Hey you! Did you have a nice shower...I didnt want to bother you so i made myself come out here!"

"uhh i didnt take a shower actually i called my mom..."

"Oh! How did it go this time?"

"i...Justin my dad answered the phone...." I stated simply as he

dropped the screwdriver he held in his hand.

"What????" Sitting down next to me he grabbed my hand.
He always did have that daytime soap drama about him didnt he?


"My father...was there, is there...I..cant..."

As i continued to explain to him what had happened i also told him that i'd be going there.Of course i told him i was waiting until the baby came home and was safe before i did anything.I waited 12 years the least he could do was wait a few weeks.</span>


i know lots more drama to come so i hope im not boring you sweetie? :blink: :blink: :blink: :D

you know the drill!!!!!! ;)

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Postby laura » Mon Jun 20, 2005 4:19 am

:lonely: :lonely: :lonely:

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Postby whatchagot4meMRJT » Mon Jun 20, 2005 8:04 am

OMG! Laura, you could never ever bore me. I don't even know how I missed this update, but it was amazing. :clap: :clap:

I am so glad that both mom and baby are okay. You had me on the edge of my seat with the emergency surgery, the blood loss, and all that crazy medical stuff that scares me. :lol: But they've got to pick a name for the little darling. She sounds absolutely beautiful. :wub:

I can't believe her dad answered the phone. This is going to be some meeting when she goes back to see her mom. I hope everyone stays calm and nobody starts killing anybody. :blink: :huh: Maybe the new grandchild can bring everybody together once and for all. :pray:

Ahh, I can't wait to read more. :nod:

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Postby laura » Mon Jun 27, 2005 4:30 am

<span style='color:green'>aw,finally im getting you caught up to what i have so far!! weeeeee....
*ahem* anyway,this one is kinda long...just because i dont know when ill get the time to do this again...so here we go!

Before i knew it three weeks had passed, As Ava and i both worked together to paint and decorate the nursary in shades of baby Jade as Ava found it ironic since thats what we decided to name her.And apparently Pink was a bit common and not at all suitable for our child?Well that was the wonderful mind of my fiancce.Yeah Alyssa Jade Timberlake,in other words AJ, both our initals which i think was more than fitting since she was a little of A and a little of J! Cute huh? Well it was her idea i swear...well i did like the idea of another J name and she came up with one that suited her perfectly,since she was getting bigger she was finally opening her tiny eyes which i guess we all thought would be blue? Nope, she had the most beautiful sparkly green eyes just like her mom...so Jade seemed pretty fitting but i was set on another 'A' so we settled on Alyssa as her first name.So as we tried to finish the room on time Ava got in contact with her dad Patrick via email.She never said much about it but since the phone call she hadnt talked to her mother and refused to take her phone calls leaving me to be the bearer of bad news,like she didnt hate me enough!

Walking throught Beverly Hills we tried to be diplomatic about it but when it came down to it neither of us could pick baby furniture that we where completely happy with.althought throught gifts we got a bouncer,two carry cradles and a bunch of toys an clothes we still needed a cradle for her room that was connected to ours,and countless other things....But we'd be fine, Ava loved shopping and aparently i "just slowed her down" so there you go..that was me told huh?


"Im so freaking out right now Justin and your not!This is not right!"

"honey..." I tried.

"No...dont honey me, ok i cant breathe...shes...we get her to-day." referring to my baby like it was a package from Ikea...

"I know,and its gonna be fine! We've been through this sweetie we know what we're doing..."

"No...we sooo dont Justin i mean its one thing to read about things in books and watch Dr Phil till my eyes wedged open and oprah...and...all
but come on!!!!!After all the hoopla,shes here with us two morons and we gotta do this!!No help, no nothing.." Her voice was thick with panic.I knew this would happen so i freaked out over at Traces and somehow managed to appear calm as we drove over to the hospital to finally bring our girl home.It had been a month and she had finally reached her goal weight that they said was ok for her to be out, a tiny 8lbs 11 oz,that was her goal...well being born at just under 2lbs...8lbs was huge!But she fought like her momma and now? We get her to ourselves, finally!

Having witnessed with my two eyes just how amazing the hospital staff were during her stay and Ava labour added to the fact that i still felt the guilt over actually putting her into that position, i kinda thought it would be nice if i did something for them,i couldnt really think of something that would really mean anything until Ava suggested that we donate money to the unit for premature babies.Which of course was fine but it wasnt very personal was it? So we thought and thought and we decided to take each of the six nurses and give them three weeks paid vaction with their own families Since i remembered them saying once that they hardly ever get the time to spend with their own families since they could afford to do it,it wasnt much but since they helped me get my family safe it was the least we could do right?

I'm getting off track,again we entered the hospital and were greeted by the previously mentioned nurses,holding our little girl in her arms the oldest of the nurses Hallie congratulated us as she handed Jade over to Ava who was at that stage crying silently,which meant the wailing wasnt far behind.The baby had changed so much at a month old an the weight of most new borns she was still so tiny and fragile,but she had been throught more than most one year olds..She was a fighter,no doubt! Getting to the car was kinda difficult,we decided to come alone as it would attract less attention so with Ava and baby safely in the backseat of my blacked out SUV we headed home where we where sure to be greeted by our entire circle of friends and way to many family members.

Sitting in the backseat i could help but just admire how amazing she was,she was staring right at me,like she knew me already and i was crying like an idiot because for the longest time i had prepared myself for the worst.When she was born the chances of her survival where slim,very slim and so where mine given what i had lost through labour but somehow we managed it and she was with us.Heading into the house that was decorated with every kind of pink balloon on the planet we were greeted by a sea of our friends all here to celebrate her over due arrival home as they all stood in silence as to not wake her i couldnt help but laugh.

"You guys,its ok to move and speak you know, it wont hurt her..." I spoke silently almost switching my glaces from person to person and then back to Justin.

Lynn was the first to step up,not surprisingly since none of them had held her properly since she was wired up...Hell we bearly got to hold her half the time...But we endulged them all.It was a sweet sight to see, with Trace of all people because when we passed her to him the entire room uttered one word rather loudly "Head!!!!!!" which i guess showed our faith in him?

"I know, i know guys! God you act like i havent been around babies before...."

"Justin doesnt count " Ava pipped up making her way to get some food.

"Very funny..." Turning to see him standing right behind me as i stood over the island that held the plates of amazing food that i really needed.

"Well i am awesome like that you know...." His hands wrapped around my waist as his face burried in my neck, " You know your right you are awesome and i love you...."

"I know you do..."

"Ava"

"humm?"

"When do think we should start planning the wedding? you know, i want to be your husband....I'd like to be Mr Awesome if thats ok with you..."

God he was such a sap.

I nodded as i continued to work with the food,"well it is a great last name..."

"Im serious..." He smirked.

Turning to him i saw that all to familiar sentimental look in his eyes and the truth is i felt the same,this time no fear no hesitation just plain love.

"I know you are, and i will marry you...soon"

"buuut?"

Thing was,After the baby came we,well I decided to try a little harder to work with Justin,i was trying to get us back on track.

"Nope,No buts.I want nothing more in this world than to be your wife Mr Timberlake, although it does come with a few conditions though"

I had to admit,it was the high i was on,nothing could have spoiled by happiness that day,so i decided to indulge his for a while.

The fear that flashed in his eyes you would think i hit him...it was kinda funny,smirking i added "Well when we get married and im your wife an
all...i dont wanna be just your wife, not that the prospect of that isnt fan-bloody-tastic... but see i need to still be Ava too you know?...and i
need to work and i need to have my friends as well as our friends-"

"Baby,i know what you mean and i support it 100% i do...i just wanna love you baby.."


Rolling my eyes i bumped him off me with my thigh,"God spare me the pimpin' dude...Lets go make sure you mum hasnt completely kidnapped our baby..."

"Hold on" With that request he pulled me into his lap from where he sat on the stool behind me and kissed me,and such a kissed shouldnt have happened with his relatives just in the other room - it was hot...as was he, and since my hormones where finally back to normal i was beginning to want it again,i mean him...want him...

Pulling out his incredibly appealing embrace i managed to speak.

"No-na-ah..we cant not be doin' this now..."

"Why" he smirked as he pulled me in again.

"Beeeecause,we're parents, i'm someones mother i cant be doin' this"

"Well thats true,"He smiled again " But your not my mother so...screw it."

Planting yet another R-rated kiss on my lips i couldnt help but let go,and as my hands started to wander there was a cough from the kitchen sink, "You know im gonna be granny again soon if you guys keep this up!"
Turning both at once we were once again in the company of his mom at the worst possible time....Again!

"Lynn...hi!" i felt my face beam with embarrasment...yet again.Justin on the other hand seemed unaffected. Jackass...

"Hi...." she answered as she made her way with another bowl of food.Looking back as she reached the door she just laughed, "well..when your done,the rest of us are about to eat."

Laughing at the look on my face justin simply answered for me.

"God,why does that keep happening..." I wined as he looped his fingers in mine.

"Relax,im sure shes seen worse..."

"yeah us,butt ass nekkid...right thats it, we cant make out in public any more..."

The eyebrows burrowed together as he looked down at me, "What? im serious....its weird now..."

"Ava...i adore you,but you realise that your crazy right?there is nothing wrong with two people who love each other and" With an evil grin he kept going "who wanna f*** each other as much as we do,doin' anything in public.If they dont like it they dont gotta watch it...And i know you like it deep down so dont even try and say..."

"i didnt say i didnt...but really...we have to-"

"Eat...come on im starved!!!!!!!!" And before she got a chance to respond she was dragged by the hand from the kitchen to the dining room,where all their friends sat,as well as there baby daughter in her carry crib sound alseep.It really gave a whole new meaning to 'family dinner' for her anyway...It wasnt something she was used to,but she was getting there,fast!
~*~*~*~*~*~
"JUSTIN..." for the millionth time i called him from the studio i mean i knew he was new to the aspect of babies but even i knew not to take a kid outside the house so soon after being realised from the damn hospital.

Walking in to the main studio i see him,and AJ lying on the large couch - Sound asleep.It was the sweetest sight,and as i couldnt resist i grabbed my camera that was situated on the counter top behind the couch,and luckily there were three shots left.
So as i snapped away i saw his eyes open slowly,it had been a rough couple of nights.Not that she wasnt sleeping - we weren't sleeping because like most first time parents, we where instilled with every single type of insecurity out there,so even when she was sound to the world we found ourselves watching her,just in case!

"Hey" He whispered.

"Hi,here let me take her.." as i scooped up our little bundle of pink and sweetness he got up too.

"I fell asleep again huh?,sorry..." He managed through a yawn.
I smirked slightly as i layed her in her stroller making sure to cover her accordingly with the right blankets,before i sat myslef down next to him.

"its ok...i just came to find you...Pharell called...oh and Tom from Jive"

"Whats wrong?"

"Nothing...well ok they both basically, said that the date has been set for the album release."

"I know that its in a month i-"

"No.He said that and i quote 'due to increasingly adament interest of the album over the internet they have decided to up the release date' which i basically translated from his posh british accent as its being leaked over the net, so get your ass in gear!"

"Did he say when?"

"Uh...yeah he did,in a week..." As i waited for him to explode,he did so although somewhat more silently than i first though.

"What? oh f*** that, i told then i wanted at least a extra month with you guys...im not leaving they can go f*** off,im not doing it!!!" As he sat back and crossed his arms stubbornly i tried to bring him round.

"Honey,you know this is right...it has to be done and i'll be fine with the promos here i dont mind! "

"Yeah, but what about the rest of Europe? i mean its three weeks over there and the idea of being away from you that long kills me,never mind
what im gonna miss with AJ....its so-"
"I know it is,but i was thinkin' maybe we can come too?"

"WE? you and the baby? but i thought you didnt want-"
"I know i said that,but well i figured we could go home-to Ireland i mean i do have things to sort out there..."

He simply nodded along running his hand over his rapidly growing curls.
"Well if your sure,i mean i could do the England and France thing and you wouldnt be that far away, and you could come out with me if it did get
too much for you with them." his tone was one of wondering as if by saying these things it would make better sense to me.

"Yeah thats what i was thinking."


Truth was,i was dying to see my mother, not because i missed her or had this overwhelming sense of need for her but to confront her face to face about her lies.I had blocked her calls since i first talked to my dad,then i did eventually talk to her - or i talked AT her?Well reguardless she deserved to see her granddaughter no matter how much of a b**** she was,i needed to show her that i was better than she thought and that my life wasnt about to crumble in to the pieces that she thought she knew it would.Of course all of this was wishful thinking on my part since deep down i was the one with the most doubts about my life,and my relationship with Justin but i'd never actually tell her that.
***
"ok have you guys got everything?AJ's things,your things the international cell phone so i can reach you guys what else?...." As Lynn ran her fingers through her hair in a fashion not unlike her son she yelled to Paul to see what else we needed.It was three weeks away from America and she was freaking out over every little detail.
"She going to have a stroke you know?" I quipped to Justin as he place our little honey in her carrier,and wrapped her so tight i thought she would get stuck.

"I know but thats what she does,she worrys allll the time its insane really since there is no need we'll be fine."

"I know but still...you really think we'll be fine with them i mean you've never liked my mom and well your in the sae boat as me as far as my father is concerned...Im really scared about this."


As the plane touched down in Dublin airport my nerves grew more and more,not to mention the fact that neither of us got any sleep.Even thought i had paige with me as a 'nanny' i was still so tired with her constantly crying,planes and infants just dont mix well.
Some three hours later all four of us pulled up outside my childhood home,and judging by the cars outside my cousins where here,the girls Aisling and Orla where my age and a year younger in orlas age.I got on well with them.

"You ready sweetie?" Justins hand landed on mine as i made my way to the door with Ava in her stroller and paige at my other side.I just gave him a tight smile as i slid my key into the door.

Walking into the Dark hallway i we were greeted by the smell of cooking.

"Mum?Are you in?" As i annonced our arrival the doors of the living room opened and my mother stepped through behind her were my cousins.Being greeted by her was a surprise she instantly embraced both me and Justin in a friendly hug,then next Paige and then my cousins came to welcome us.

"Ohmy...is this her..."

Yes the baby you didnt want me to have.

"yes mom this is AJ."

"AJ?" the look on her face was classic.
"Yes AJ,Aylssa Jade Timberlake."
"Oh..." As she went to pick her up my cousins pulled me to one side and justin to another as Paige excused herself,apperently there was a guy she used to date that she wanted to 'look up'.

That girl...


"So Av...Whens the wedding...i still cant believe your with him i mean hes..Justin timberlake..."
Rolling my eyes i had to add." God Orla ive been with him for over two years now how are you still star struck?He just a normal guy...well most of the time anyway...get over it really..."

"I know i know" She rolled her eyes at me before focusing in on the baby.

"God the baby is so cute the email photos where adorable but god shes so.."

"I know she is...shes only two months but look at the hair already...shes gonna have a head of curls too.." at that i glaced at justin who was mid conversation with my cousin Aisling,god only knows what about...well i could guess she was a singer,desperately wanted a break...bugged me constantly to ask him about it.. I reminded myself to rescue him in a minute.

"So Ava." My mother began as she cradled my daughter and cooed over her..all unexpectantly.

"Yes?"

" I know you and i have things we need to talk about and i know i owe you a lot of explations but i just wanted to thank you."
Looking at her from below my eyelids in confusion "Thank me for what?"

"Bringing her here,i didnt think you would after the way i behaved when i found out, im sorry i was so harsh its just i didnt want you to make the same mistake that i did,with the wrong man i mean...but ive seen you two,here and in the pictures that are constantly in the media, honey and i see that hes good to you."

My God was she being nice about him?

"oh,uh well yeah of course..but...Mum why did you lie to me..."
At that she grew visably uncomfortable,shifting in her seat.So i continued

"Look he was here...and you lied you said you never heard from him after he left us...and you obviously did..why did you lie?"

"I had to..."

"Why..."

Seeing that the dreaded conversation had been started Justin stepped in and offered to take AJ up and get her settled down.As my cousins
scattered and agreeded to meet me the next day.Still she sat,ice cold refusing to answer me.

"Well????" I forced

"Ava he did leave us and did go to france with that stupid girl...but yes he did get in contact with me again when you turned 16,i was mad at him for just showing up and expecting us to fall back in line,i was angry...but he told me he was moving home to Ireland and that he wanted to get in contact with you..."

"And..."

"And i wouldnt let him...i didnt want him to get your hopes up if he was just going to leave you again,i couldnt let that happen..."

"You didnt even give him a chance...or me for that matter...how could you..."

" i just wanted to protect you...thats all..."

As i tried to adsorb the knowledge that i was lied to most of my life for "protection" i couldnt help it...

"What the f*** is the matter with everyone...always trying to protect me...you,Paige, justin for god sakes i am more than capible of doing it
myself!!! what gave you the right to hide this from me???"

"Because...i'm your mother and as that i had the right to keep you from getting hurt...!!!"

"No you didnt!!! He was..is my father i had a RIGHT to know him and you stopped that...thats...its just unforgiveable...!"

As we argued on,we both being as stubborn as each other stormed out...well upstairs.

Where in the dimly lit room i found him...lying on the bed,gently coaching our daughter to sleep...

"So.." He whispered. "What did she say?"

As i began to undress and get in beside them i told him all that she said,all that she believed,and then i told him that once i saw him to the
airport the next day i was going to see my father,to at least hopefully get some answers.He agreed,and i somewhat contently went
about 'sleeping' although i knew i had to many thoughts for them to actually disperse and let me get some rest...............



The next day i was so on edge i was constantly biting everyones heads off,i was nervous and since Justin had to fly on to England i was kinda by myself as i packed up Aj,headed with Paige to see well,my father.
The drive took little over two hours,and i have to admit it was nice seeing familiar sights again,Ireland - the west in perticular is always beautiful in the summer.So it took my mind off of what i was freaking about in the first place.

Pulling up to the address my mother had previously given my i took a deep breath before i switched off the engine of the car.The house was big all on one floor but more wide than anything.The door was red with coloured stainted glass.The windows big and nicely decorated.A womans touch was plain to see from her view anyway.

"Ok sweetie do you want me to come in with or stay here..." Paige who was unusally quiet spoke up after a few mintues silence.

"Um...no i think i should go it alone first i mean i dont-"

"Ok...go ahead we'll be here..."

As i walked up the graveled path i took several deep breaths till' i felt like id pass out...

I rang the bell and secretly hoped he wasnt in...but no, soon a manly figured came shuffling to the door.

"Hello..." he was tall...still after all this time he was tall...his hair a little grayer,his features less tight but he was her dad.

"Daddy?i-"

At that his eyes lit up.And he embraced her without a word...And he just held on.

***

"Im sorry i seemed so strange at the door Ava,i just-well i just have wanted you here for the longest time and well now your here and..."As he
handed me a steaming cup of coffee and we sat in the plush living room,
" I know, i um well i wanted to see you too....do you live here alone?" Looking around the nicely decorated house it was clearly done with a femine touch.

"uh no i dont i remarried about six years ago,a lovely woman my age you'll be please to hear....Lucia."
"oh..."

"Yes,i hear your soon to wed? Ive seen you both in some newpapers and those gossip things Lucy buys...hes a nice looking young man." At that i blushed,i always blushed.

"Yeah hes..well hes Justin,do you and uh...Lucia have any childern?" I was courious anyone would be wouldnt they?
"um,no sadly she cant,have childern...but we're fine as we are..."

"Oh.." It was all i could say,for as much as i knew him as my dad,he wasnt any more he was man i didnt know anything about.
"So this Justin,whats he like...Hes a singer right?"

It was unusual for people to ask that...it was a nice change.

"Hes lovely, hes American but not the dumb kind " I laughed,"Hes sweet and hes good to me, really you'd like him"

"well im sure i will...So when do i get to see my granddaughter?"

"OHHH...sure ill just um...well ill be right back."

I headed to the car,saw both Paige and AJ were gone,then i glanced at the field beside the house,paige was showing her the horses...

"Paige,he wants to see her...will you come in too?" I asked hopefully.

She smiled..."sure i will...hey?whats he like?" She whispered.

At that i just smirked and made my way back inside....

"Daddy...this is AJ, um..Alyssa Jade is her full name." With open arms he lifted my two month old baby and cradled her...i was a little teary,and i wanted Justin with me but of course he wasnt.As always music came first.

As we all sat and talked,well mostly Paige did all the talking at first.But what can i say i enjoyed it,of course i needed to ask him.

"Why?"

"Why what sweetie?" Paige instintively knew that was her cue

"uhh i'll take her out for air,its a little hot in here dont you think...."

As she exited the room and then the house i asked him again.

"honey i didnt want to leave you then, i loved you i still do very much but your mother and i just didnt work,for the longest time we tried but all we did was make each other miserable and when i left i thought it best if i wasnt around, i didnt want you to grow up in a unhappy home."

"SO? you left with kimber,and you left me with her...dad...i DID grow up in a unhappy home...because you left...shes was...it was unbareable sometimes...and she became bitter...and-"

"I am so sorry i cant say it enough,i just thought that you'd be better off..."

I set down my tea cup and motioned to get up "Well you were wrong...I wasnt,"

"I came back because i needed to see you but she,she didnt want me in her or your life..So yes i stayed away,and i regret that."

"Well good." I pouted.

"Ava Sweetheart id like to keep in touch with you,i know your grown and i know your able to...but id like to talk to you...see the baby...meet your Justin, id like to..i know its alot to ask..."
I couldnt but feel for him,because i of all people knew just exactly what my mother was like i knew when she wanted or didnt want something she usually got it.

"Im sorry too.You missed out on so much, even when i turned 18,you could have come..." I took a deep breath and said what i had meant to say "what i mean is yes,im not mom so if you wanna see me or AJ,and Justin too then i'd think its ok"

He smiled,that smile i always remembered. And after that we settled in to a conversation groove and the rest of that evening went smoothly,of course that was until i got home and was given the third degree by mommy dearest.

"So whats he like?" I heard his voice over the line,he was tired and sleepy.
"well...kinda like i remember,kinda not.Hes over all,sweet.Nervous but sweet."
I heard him take a deep breath and then a yawn, "So everything was good?Im so sorry i couldnt be there."

"Na,dont worry i was fine." I lied.

"Good.Hows AJ? God i miss her so much already its insane..."

At that i smiled. "Shes good, i just got her down before you called...man shes like you."

He smirked,"Meaning?"

"She can eat that girl...i swear ive expressed so much milk i feel like a dairy cow!!!"

"Girl...you a'int no cow.Its what those things where designed for...well that and other things..." He laughed.

"Yeah yeah...well i gotta go get some sleep before her highness wakes again.."

"oh...ok well i guess thats true.Well"

He sounded like he had something more to say,but to be honest if i heard him complain about the press one more time i'd scream.

"What?" I asked.

"Nothin'.Ill let ya get some sleep.goodnight."

"Night."

And with that i hung up the phone,not realising that it was the first time in a longest time we'd done anything parting and not said 'I love
you'.And the funny thing was,it didnt really bother her as much as it should have.

And it didnt bother her when the next day he didnt call her,he called paige to ask about the baby.But not her.Again it didnt bother her as much
as it bothered him.

<span style='font-size:8pt;line-height:100%'>We might kiss when we are alone

When nobody's watching

We might take it home

We might make out when nobody's there

It's not that we're scared

It's just that it's delicate
</span>

Sure he was pouting,she was sick of him and he knew it.Sure he wined about the press alot and the set but wasnt she supossed to listen? I
mean he listened to her complaints about everything wasnt a relationship about some give and take? Weren't they supossed to be there for
each other,like they used to?

He knew something was up with her,it had been for a while he saw it in everything she did even down to the way she spoke...She wasnt
exactly Miss America,she was more...Miss subdued,Miss Quiet.Which for the Ava he knew so well...it wasnt good,it wasnt good at all.
***

Getting back from England early was a nice change.He was tired of interview,tired of the whole thing really. He wanted to with his girl,but when
he arrived she was less than overjoyed at his arrival. They had barely spoken since he had arrived,all through dinner,and later into the night -
their conversation stayed light,or more to the point quick.

<span style='font-size:8pt;line-height:100%'>
So why do you fill my sorrow
With the words you've borrowed
From the only place you've know
And why do you sing Hallelujah
If it means nothing to you
Why do you sing with me at all?
</span>

"Ava are you happy?" The look i gave him was one of doubt,before answering that wonderful question,

"what?"

"With me are you happy with me,because ive noticed - your different and your not yourself"

"Of course im happy dont be stupid"

With that raised left eyebrow i knew he didnt believe me.Since he had returned from the promo tour a day earlier the air between them
was,strainge to say the least.

"well i dont think so.I thought it was the baby that had you like this, maybe that post natial thing but then i got to thinking,it was way before
Aylssa came along,hell even before you got pregnant.Your not happy and i want to know why,be straight me with thats all im asking"

"Im FINE,god way to you always have to push things....cant you just leave it alone..."

Rasing up from the couch we both sat on i made my way to the kitchen where a song played on the radio,something that thinking of it now
played out that scene,

"I have left it alone,for months ive watched this sprial you've been intent on going down and i want you to tell me the truth for god sake just tell
me what your thinking!!!"

"FINE YOU WANNA KNOW THEN FINE,IM NOT HAPPY OK? IM MISERABLE IS THAT WHAT YOU WANTED TO HEAR? IS IT?I DONT KNOW WHY I AM,BUT
I AM AND I CANT MAKE IT GO AWAY!!"

"Ava...stop yelling please youll wake the baby...just...please calm down..and just-"

<span style='font-size:8pt;line-height:100%'>We might live like never before
When there's nothing to give
Well how can we ask for more
We might make love in some sacred place
The look on your face is delicate
</span>

"NO!see this is what you do,what you always do you think you can swoop in and make things all better with gifts or gestures or sex, but you
cant!"

"Well what the f*** do you want from me?To just sit back and let you be depressed and sad? i cant do that because im not that guy...i love you and it hurts me to see you like this...what happened to that spunky witty girl i met here...where is she?"

I looked at him then and i saw the full fledged effect in his eyes,those eyes that mirrored mine-filled with tears on the brink of falling."I dont
know,i really dont know. And thats half the problem Justin im so lost i feel like im just floating along and not really doing anything and i hate that
feeling like im not in control of my life any more. I tried after she was born to just let the feeling go away,to bury them but now? I cant!!"

"So..what,you think im-"

"NO...i dont know anymore ok? i just feel so helpless with this,with you, like no matter what ill never be able to just be with you with out other
people butting in and i hate that.But i also know that thats your life your in the public's view and i accepted that, or at least i thought i had...And
then there everything else its just too much right now i need a break!!"

As she said that word my stomach physically dropped,

"A break?From...us?You want out?"

"maybe," I said absently without much thought "i think it....i think we could use it..some time to just-"

Through the yelling i noticed,his voice was breaking down as the tears fell from his eyes,as they did from mine as i started to sob the
uncontrollable sobs that id held on to for so long.

"NO AVA, THATS BULLsh** OK? YOU EITHER WANNA BE WITH ME OR NOT...WHICH IS IT?"

"its not that simple Justin ok...i have all these f***ing issues i tried to ignore and now they've come back to bite me in the ass and its killing me
because, i do love you i really do,im just not sure its enough to do this...forever."

"You dont love me enough to be with me?" He stammered.

"I...." I struggled.

"Well?"

"I know i love you, your the first man ive ever loved properly, so much that when your not here with me it physically hurts my heart,but i just
dont think i can keep out all the other stuff forever...all the doubt all the suspision,with everyone i cant trust...."

"You can trust me...isnt that-"

"enough?...no."

"so what then?We're done is that it? IS THAT WHAT YOUR SAYING?"

"i dont know what im saying i just..."

I was losing her.....

"Do you want to marry me?And dont f***ing say you dont know because i know you do,either you do or you dont, i need to know now Ava
because i cant keep doin' this with you ok? its breaking my heart so slowly and i'd rather you didnt, so tell me now do you want to be with me?"
He was crying,struggling to breathe and with each inhaled breath a felt my chest get tighter and tighter as i cried,

"No..."

i had lost him.........


"Well..i guess thats it then." He turned and walked to the door,this time not looking back as he slammed it behind him,next was the familar
scream of the baby from the other room.I was alone this was my fear,but hadnt i gone out of my way to make this happen? it was all my own
doing I drove him away so...This is what i deserved. Wasnt it?
<span style='font-size:8pt;line-height:100%'>
It's not that we're scared
It's just that it's delicate
</span>



**************************************************</span>

User avatar
laura
Supreme Member
Posts: 3087
Joined: Mon Feb 16, 2004 11:34 am
Location: ireland...... yawn...........
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Postby laura » Mon Jun 27, 2005 9:37 am

:hi:

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whatchagot4meMRJT
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Postby whatchagot4meMRJT » Mon Jun 27, 2005 11:14 am

:lonely: :lonely: Aww, my dearest loves are taking a break. HOLY SHIIT! That just about killed me to read that. :( And I thought everyone was going to be just fine with Jade being brought home and the families all getting to see her for the first time. Looks like I was very wrong. :no:

I'm at least glad that Ava got together with her dad and talked things out. It doesn't make what he did right, but it's nice to have some closure to all the things she's probably been wondering about all of these years. :nod:

And it didnt bother her when the next day he didnt call her,he called paige to ask about the baby.


:nervous: Don't make me a bad girl who breaks them up. I will not have sex with Justin. I will not! :ph34r: :lol:

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laura
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Posts: 3087
Joined: Mon Feb 16, 2004 11:34 am
Location: ireland...... yawn...........
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Postby laura » Tue Jul 05, 2005 9:04 am

<span style='color:hotpink'>
For the next three weeks after we got back from Ireland, i avoided her at all costs, I had to I was so angry at her,at myself at the whole damn situation.So when it came to AJ i always had someone else pick her up and drop her off for me it was easier than seeing Ava.
I loved this little girl and the idea of losing her even for a second was tearing me apart,but since we broke up my access to her was cut since Ava moved back into her old place,and at that my mom had to be the one to suggest

"What about custody? I mean full time if Ava-"

"No..."

"No?justin you have think about these things if Avas being this strange about you imagine what would happen to the baby if she-"

"mom...she wouldnt ever do anything to hurt the baby ok?"

"I know that,but sweetie you have to admit her behaviour has been....odd...i mean look at whats shes done to you,your a wreak and
shes hardly spoken to any of us since you both...well... i mean look just know your rights thats all im saying incase."

"I wont take her away from her mother if thats what your saying,i couldnt do that."

"I wouldnt want you too,but i think you should work something out as far as access is concerned."
I knew she was right, there was a chance that if she wanted too she could stop me from seeing her,but i knew she wouldnt she may have been mixed up but one thing she definately wasnt was vindictive,and yes i still loved her- more than ever since she wasnt around.

<span style='font-size:8pt;line-height:100%'>Beauty queen of only eighteen
She had some trouble with herself
He was always there to help her
She always belonged to someone else</span>




When she left with her things that was a hard day for me,it was like another kick in the chest,her wardrobe was empty,the bathroom was just my things and the babys room,well thats when i couldnt take it and for the first time in a long time i broke down and i cried and then i drank till i felt it go away...then i cried even more,mainly over the telephone to my mom...

Im such a little b**** sometimes.

"Come on honey please...take the bottle,come on..God..she hates me."


"She doesnt hate you 'Lisha just ease her in to it,it'll be fine...keep going."

Sitting in my newly painted apartment that was now a deep orange
verging on red with lots of neutral chairs and two sofas and lots of deep coloured cushions thrown in to add to the tone, i was happy with it and the decorating had helped keep me busy and mainly stopped my uncontrolable sobbing.I missed him,we hadnt spoken since that night- the night when i swear i could have heard his heart break.Yeah im a b**** right? I just had to get out from that compound of people that were always up in my business,and tragically the man i loved was one of them,i know you dont understand me,hell i bearly understand me but the day i moved back in here i felt finally able to breathe again.

"Av...im no good at this really she hates me..."

Taking the now screaming baby from my friends arms i hushed her till she settled taking the bottle of breast milk i had made in order to 'teach'

Elisha how to feed as she offered to babysit for me the next day when i went back to work. "See she doesnt.She sensed your fear thats why she tightened up too,babies are very good at sensing whats wrong..."

At that she just sighed and sipped her water,"Well thank God for Trace tomorow i mean hes so good with her the other day she was sitting with justin and he was messing with her,funny faces and what not and trace joined in,total natural....it was so-" Yes as the emotional wreak that i was the mere mention of his name forced me to burst into tears.


<span style='font-size:8pt;line-height:100%'>I drove for miles and miles
And wound up at your door
I've had you so many times but somehow
I want more
I don't mind spending everyday
Out on your corner in the pouring rain
Look for the girl with the broken smile</span>



"Ava...oh im sorry they didnt hurt her it was just that-"

"No..." i began through the sobbing,"its not that...its just...i miss him,i
really miss him which is f***ed up because its because of me that we're not an us...i hate me..."

"Ava..."

"No i am a b**** no wonder why hes been avoiding me...i've f***ed with
his head, his life and i dont know how to fix it...i love him and i told him i
didnt, Elisha how could any sane woman do that to someone shes
loved...how? i am crazy...."

As she took the baby and somehow managed to hug me,she reassured
me that i wasnt a girl inturrpted,and that we would be fine...wish i knew that.

*************************

The next day came far too soon and since AJ was being her usual fussy self i got very little sleep,Not that i would have slept any way...7am...damn...i just dosed two hours ago...

Trying to feed a three month old and get smartened up was a difficult
task,but i somehow managed, as elisha arrived at seven thirty looking tired and grumpy...not the best attitude for a babysitter of a fussy kid.

Wracking my brains as i rumaged through the bags i rambled off what i had packed "ok her bottles are all made up,her nappies and all that is in the pink bag the bottles in the yellow,change of clothes,umm what else..um...well if you need anything from here theres a spare keyin the-"

"AVA...Step away from the baby and put down the bottle...slowly..."

Dressed in Chanel chocolate skirt and white wrap blouse i finished putting
my hair in a decent bun and kissed my baby goodbye before rushing out
the door.As i reached the offices of my new old job i tried to calm myself down and as i was shown to the office that i knew like the back of my own
hand my boss wasnt who i thought it would be.Paiges dad was on leave,which she never mentioned and now this woman was in his place.Damn...

"Ava Mc Donald yes?""

"Yes pleased to meet you.."

"Im Una Ivory,im taking the place of mr-"

"Oh"

"Yes,for the next few months any way and as your new i guess i should
show you around."


"well actually im not...new i mean ive worked here before and what i was
asked to do is the same position i filled before, so if you could just show me to my desk,and-"

"Oh i see..well thats handy for me isnt it, good. Well heres a list of clients that was assigned for you, they where assigned by your other boss so just look through them and tell me what you think and, if you can handle
the PR for them or not and if not we can always find someone else."

"Oh...ok thank you..."

As i shown to my office that was now alot smaller than the one i had before i began looking through the file,a lot of names on this 'list' some high profile, some not so much.

Looking through i spotted several hot men on my list...actors, singers, and Usher...ugh no! Hes off...hate him.

As the first day came to a close i had met all the new staff caught up with the old and felt truely knackered! i had secured three big name clients,rather easily since they had already heard of me... and they assumed since i was involved with a celebrity i was good at A) keeping secrets and B)Putting a good spin on bullsh**,which was true.So i could count Adam Brody and Colin Farell as my new clients as well as Katie Holmes-Cruise...so i was a happy bunny,tired but happy as i reached my appartment at almost 5pm.

I saw the door was ajar,i insantly froze...sh** i had been broken into...f***...

Reaching for my pepper spray i pushed open the door," WHO EVER YOU ARE...JUST GET OUT....IM CALLING THE COPS!!"

As i reached the living room i saw a tall figure...

"f***..Justin you scared the life outta me...how the hell did you get in..."

My heart was pumping so much that i wasnt sure what id said to him but the look on his face was one of....pain...Then i was reminded that these where the first words id spoken to him since...well in three weeks.

"Ava,can i just ask you what the f*** is up...i got to traces and i find my daughter with my best friend and his wife while you where at work..what the f*** is up with that...."

"What? Look i thought you had work so i didnt...i didnt want to bother you..."

"Bother me?Shes my f***ing daughter too..Why would it bother me...jesus,"

<span style='font-size:8pt;line-height:100%'>Ask her if she wants to stay awhile
And she will be loved
She will be loved
Tap on my window knock on my door
</span>

As he picked her up again he held her into him,it was a sight that made my heart ache,i missed this,"Im sorry i just thought it would be easy if..well i wasnt sure and i....Wait,how did you get in? "As i began taking off my jacket it had just dawned on me.

"oh...well i used the key i had,from before she needed changed really bad and i didnt know what else to do...so i just let myself in,sorry."

"No its fine i was just wondering thats all..." At that the air grew tight both of us sitting in awkward silence...the only sound coming from our daughter as she peeped and hummed as she ate her dummy.

The tension in the room was intense,and it wasnt hated tension or anger he thought it would be but it wasnt.The fact of the matter was she was hot,as always and six months without getting ANY can have its effect on any man,he was no different.I had to get out of there!!

"Right well..shes home now i guess i should go..."

"NO...i mean you dont HAVE to..."

"Yeah i do,this is...well i just have to" The awkwardness continued as we both stood, i watched as he leaned down and kissed her little forhead,and yes i wanted to cry.

"Well...i'll see you.."

"Yeah i guess so,um..." He made his way towards the door and i had to do it "Justin?..."

"Yeah?"

"Are you free this weekend?"

"I think so why?" He rubbed his head the way he always did when he was umcomfortable,i guess even he didnt notice it any more.

He glanced at my left hand,yes i still wore my ring...I hadnt taken it off in over a year i was having a hard time letting it go...and that was the only thing i was having trouble letting go.

<span style='font-size:8pt;line-height:100%'>I want to make you feel beautiful</span>


"Well if you want um,i have to-well its Paige's Birthday and there was this whole thing planned and i wasnt going to go but if you want you could take her from thursday till sunday if you wanted... i mean only if you want"

I wasnt sure why i was stumbling over my words,was it the fact that he was standing right in front of me looking extremely hot in his casual combat shorts and black t-shirt,was it the fact that he smelled so good, was the fact she hadnt had sex in six months?or was it the fact that she just missed him?

His face lit up,the eyes lit up."Id love to..i can clear anything on those days,so you should do it...Um ill pick her up around...6 ish on thursday if thats ok?"

It was.

The next few days went by in a haze of early mornings and late nights and Viva las Paige was underway...it was her 21st so we all decided to throw out and go to vegas for a few days...she knew about it...how could she not,but she didnt know about ALL of it which was a good thing.As we where heading on Johns jet that thursday night and heading straight for party number one as soon as we landed, i had to get ready before hand.

So as i put the finishing touches to my out fit that consisted on a silk black ans sparkle tank top that skimmed my still huge breasts but showed off my tummy that i was working on getting back to normal,as well as my skinny jeans open toed strappy LV's and my silver mini sequened cape/cardi.i wore my hair down in tosselled curls.And i was feeling good which was unusual now.

Since i had napped,with AJ and then fed her,then winded her, changed her all while trying to do this i was proud.At 6;15 the knock came and i instantly knew who it was. Wipping down my jeans i answered,and his face changed.

"Wow...you look.." It was like he was in a trance,it was cute.

"Bad,good?..." I asked laughing nervously.

"uhh good..really..really good i mean.."He stepped through and took a
deep breath,"well hi!!!"

As i thanked him and blushed furiously,i tried to avoid his gaze.


"So.." He tried to make conversation,and failed.

"So...." I rebutted.

"Vegas,where are you guys staying,its always a blast in August,really hot though....well you know that..."

"Yeah...God last time" I babbled " i almost melted remember when you refused to leave the hotel room the whole weekend...it wasnt all that bad though...."

As i recalled the memory of her and me held up in that bedroom i instantly grew uneasy.I couldnt handle thinking about things like that now,not when we werent together any more.It hurt.

"uhh..yeah,um is she ready?" I looked at my tiny daughter smiling at me,at three months she was already showing signs of a head full of blonde curls.She was adoreable.

"yes...i think so.yeah... "as i looked around for other things that she might need i knew there was her favorite bunny left in her crib "OH...could you get me bunny...shes in the crib."

"Sure..." as he headed to the other room i tried to compose myself.Just as

Paige and Elisha came bursting throught the door. "GIRL...where you at...we're almost ready to gooooooo!!" oh she was drunk already... "Paige honey...your pissed already..."

"YUP...Its what 21 is alllll about baby..."


Well actually i was recovering from child birth for mine but whatever you say.

"ahuh...well im almost ready.."

"Ready or not..."Elisha added playing with AJ who sat content in her swinging chair.

"We have to get you laid girl...its been way to long and you sooo gotta get-" She stopped mid sentence as she stood up from her bendy position, "JUSTIN....oh...hiiii i didnt know you where here...." The look of shock that clouded her features was priceless, well she was like me in the way she always spoke before she thought.

"Yeah..well Ava is she ready cause i need to-" he was annoyed,more than annoyed actually he was totally pissed off. I tried to play it off and offered to help him to the car with her things. we took the lift,in silence and made it to the parking lot-again in silence.

"Whats wrong with you?" I asked as he placed her bags in the trunk.

"Nothin'" He replied rather coldly.

"sure...you were fine when you came in and then...its like your bi-polar or something."

"Im not...its just...well i just realised something,we're really done this time."

Hes just realised this its been over a month.

"When i saw your ring on your nightstand...well i guess thats the last straw huh?"

If only he knew the tears i shed when i took off that ring he would know it wasnt all that easy.

"Justin..."

"No...maybe you where right,maybe we're just not meant to be together
and i just have to except that.So...have" He took a deep breath and rubbed my arms looking more and more like his dog dies every
second"well enjoy Vegas.Ill see you sunday."




As i made my way up the three flights of stairs to my appartment i had to fight ot hold back the neverending stream of tears that i felt over his words.Why didnt i just say no,just tell him that i made a mistake and that i loved him and wanted to be with him? Why...because im an idiot.thats why.

"So she left for Vegas....man im sure Elishas gonna take care of her man nothing to worry about..." I smirked rarther sarcastically, "Na man i think thats the last things shes going to be doing,apparently she wants her to "get laid" as soon as possible in fact."

His eyes widened and he continued,"she said that?"

"Ahuh,and she took off her ring...so i guess she wants that too."

"Elisha?"

" No you idiot,Ava.So i guess shes really over it...f***...man i cant believe
this,i swore, i could have sworn we could have worked it out...but no she wants other guys now so i guess its all literally f***ed "



During the short flight to Vegas the air between the three of us as well as Paiges other friends from New York Jamie and Heather was light airy and extremely alcohol filled,i was on my way to a nice alcohol buzz when we landed, and headed straight to the penthouse of the Hardrock hotel.

"WOW..." was her reaction as she steeped inside the suite to find every kind of make up in available laid out with various other items of luxury, we had three days in Vegas and we planned on using them well.I orgainsed it all,parties,vip to various concerts, spa treatments,hair dressers everything.And a little added surprise from her beloved,that i wont go into now.

So having checked in with Justin on the status of my little girl i felt somewhat at ease to find her asleep.

As we split to either go get drinks,snacks and or bathroom breaks the
night was wearing well.I wasnt exactly paying attention since i had met a charming man who had somehow managed to hold my attention for the previous two hours as my girls scattered about the club,popping up every now and again.

"So Ava what exactly was it that made your man let someone as beautiful as you just slip through his fingers?" oh that accent,it did evil things to a sexually starved woman with a intoxicated system.

"Well jude im just not 100% sure what it was...could have been a number of things really,what about you?Sienna seemed like a sweet girl."

As he took another swig of his beer he nodded leaning in to me again, "She was,but i dont i just to the point where it felt like i was just there to help her,you know? I guess she just wanted the fame and i helped with that for a while,but it could have been anything, i guess we're in the same boat huh?"
"Oh yeah a rapidly sinking boat."at that he laughed,as he nudged in closer to me, and i could smell his colone it was a fresh smell,nothing too over powering or sweet - i liked it.

"Ava..would i be out of line if i asked you something?"

Looking up at his neatly quiffed dirty blond locks as he rubbed his hand through them i should have known what he was getting at,but then again it had been over two years since id been hit on by anyone so i was a little out of practice.
"sure..." He leaned in,closer and closer till he was just a breath away from my lips,and it felt nice.

"Can i kiss you?"

I didnt nod i didnt move,i was frozen.But he moved in ever so close and then it happened his soft lips landed on mine and i almost forgot how to kiss,but he took over and it felt so unbelieveable,so i didnt fight it i just let it happen and i realised i liked it .Ladies and gentlemen i was snogging Jude f***in' Law....so then why did i feel so damn guilty? I wasnt engaged, i wasnt married, i wasnt anything...but i still felt like sh**.

At four am i crawled into bed...yes i was alone,although i had agreed to meet Jude the next day for brunch.I hesitated but in the end i was completely plastered so i just agreed.

"So how was last night?" Trace paced up and down his kitchen floor sleepy since it was only 10am and he had planned on sleeping late,that was until his darling wife called.

"oh it was so much fun.It would be better if you where here though."

"I miss you too...hey um hows Ava?" asking on behalf of his friend more than anything.

"Av...shes..still asleep.She was out late with j-"

"With who sorry?"

"No one..." She added rather guiltily

"Lish?"

"ok but you cant tell justin ok? But she was with Jude Law,i mean nothing
happened i dont think but they're meeting up for lunch again today...he seems sweet..."

"What? shes seeing him i cant believe...wait did you do this?""

"NO! you ass..i didnt.Why.."

"well J said he heard you telling Ava that she needed to 'get laid' as soon
as possible...whats up with that i thought you wanted them to be together...Justin and her that is....i mean-"

"DUDE!!!!shhhhhh....breathe...ok look i do want that but you saw how miserable she was this last few months and he wasnt exactly jumping for joy either,maybe this break will allow them to see how much there meant to be....and if Jude Law helps her realise what a great guy j is then so be it..."

"what? woman your not making ANY sense?"

"Well we all know what hes like since he split with that chick i mean its all
over the press...flirts with anything in a skirt...she'll see what hes like and shes gonna want justin back so just calm down ok..it'll work itself out..."





"Last night was...fun we should do it again sometime." as i sat across from this amazingly beautiful man with a completely sexy accent as we both finished up our lunches.

"Your right we should...i think me and the girls are heading to Ghost tonight maybe we-"

"Well actually i was thinking we could do something together...more,alone than with a club full of people..."

"oh..." i managed throught a giggle,yes i was horny as hell and i needed someone...and i wasnt going to get any better than the Law now was i? Well maybe,but he wasnt here so id just have to settle.

"So what do you think? Maybe we could meet at around,ten?..."

"Um...well yeah i guess...where?"

"How about my room..." With that all knowing glint in his eyes he handed
me a key card to room 408,and i think my heart stopped.Was i really doing this,with a man i knew had a reputation?How insane was i?



"what?Shes hooked her up with another guy?what the f*** is she doing Trace?"

"i dont know man,she seems to think that this will get you two back...i dont know.""

"HOW...How will her f***ing some other guy get-"

"I dont know..."

"f***..." it felt like id just been hit in the gut...again.And this time i swore i
was going to take control.

"dude?You busy tonight?"

"um..na why?"

"I need you to do something for me...."

<span style='font-size:8pt;line-height:100%'>It's not always rainbows and butterflies
It's compromise that moves us along
My heart is full and my door's always open
You can come anytime you want
</span>



It was just after seven when we entered the ballroom of the hotel that we had made vip for the evening,we we're all going to just have dinner then party on the night of my friends 21st birthday.

"so me first..." I stood up and handed her my carefully wrapped little blue box.

"Ooooohhhh yay presents..." paige pipped up when she realised...

"Hope you like it...Happy birthday...."

On opening the set of platinum rings with pink diamonds that matched a necklace and drop earrings she gasped ever so over dramtically...She'd been eyeing it forever,so i decided to get it for her.
As the rest of the table gave their gifts and recieved their thank you's it was time for her own personal surprise.Since he was "touring" she was annoyed her boy couldnt have been there with us,but i arranged for his entrance straight after dinner.

Walking on the stage across from our candle lit table the band stopped,

"whats going on...." I just smiled at her question.

"Just watch.."

On he stepped,and she instantly stood-out of shock than anything else.

"Ooohhmy GOD..."

"Paige..Happy Birthday...i love you more than you'll ever know,this is for you..." With those words the usually scruffy haired man broke in to his version of Happy birthday followed by "Your Body is a Wonderland..." she hadnt stopped smiling,it was a nice sight to see.

As i watched her and her new boy interact it reminded me of myself and Justin when we first started.The need that just didnt go away,that instant spark that ignited no matter where we where,that look...it all just made me ache.

At ten minutes to ten i made my excuses and exited the table,recieving the strangest looks from the girls as i did so.I made my way up to the elevator,and i waited. "408,408....oh 408!" I found it in one of the endless hallways,the door that encase the room where i was about to go in and hopefully at least try and get any remains of Justin Timberlake out of my system.I was hoping that this would work.

I knocked...and waited my chest tightening with each second that passed.

"Ava..You came." he annonced happily as he let me in.Dressed in a casual pair of jeans and a green and white t-shirt we greeted each other as he got me a glass of wine,and i really needed it since my courage ended when i stept in the door.



"Hi excuse me could you tell me what room is billed to Ava Mc Donald please" The girl behind the counter didnt look up "No sir we're no obliged to realise that infor-" as she glanced up her eyes almost poped out of their sockets, " I mean...Justin...wow.."

"Um yeah look that girl is...my"

"oh i know who she is...wait how do you not know where she is?" she asked in a high pitched voice.

"Oh" He lied he definatley would have to lie. "well i want to surprise her so i didnt ask her directly...so if you could just help me out..."

she blushed and began typing. "the penthouse,you'll need a special key to get on the floor...one moment..." At that she disapeared and then reappeared just as quickly. "here you go..." She handed me the key to the floor. "Thanks...really.. thank you..." I grinned and almost ran to the eleavors.

I banged on the door for almost ten minutes straight,still no answer...damnit... i knew i couldnt call Ava directly so i opted for the next in line...

"Helllllllloooooooooooo"

"Elisha that you?"

"well you called me...i hope so..whats up J'"


"ava..i mean where is she?"

"Dont know..."

"Elisha come on...tell me..."

"I DONT KNOW,she left like twenty minutes ago she said she wasnt feeling well i guess she just went to bed..."

"she didnt.."

"Well i- wait how do you know?"

"Because ive been banging on the damn door for like fifteen minutes thats why..."

"Wait...what? your here..."

"yes..."

"in Vegas.."

"YES...look have you any other idea where she might be?"


The other side of the line went silent for a moment...

"Well there is one place she could be?"

<span style='font-size:8pt;line-height:100%'>Look for the girl with the broken smile
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile
she will be loved
</span></span>
Dun,dun dunnnnnnnnn. :lol:

User avatar
whatchagot4meMRJT
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Posts: 9525
Joined: Sun Jun 29, 2003 6:29 pm
Location: Maryland ... ewwww!
Contact:

Postby whatchagot4meMRJT » Tue Jul 05, 2005 10:12 am

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH! Ava! :nono: She's being a very bad girl, but it is Jude Law, so it's worth the trouble. :rofl: Poor Justin, he really does seem crushed, and if she and Jude do have sex, he's going to go crazy. :wacko:

That was the best 21st birthday a girl could have. ^_^ ^_^ Yay for John Mayer singing to me. If that actually did happen to me, I would be dead right about now. My heart would give out right on the spot. :lol:

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laura
Supreme Member
Posts: 3087
Joined: Mon Feb 16, 2004 11:34 am
Location: ireland...... yawn...........
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Postby laura » Wed Jul 13, 2005 8:52 am

<span style='color:red'>"Oh god...what am i doing?..." I asked myself as i allowed him to just take over the entire situation,and my body.
He skimmed his mouth all the way down my torso,pushing up my top in the process,as he and i stumbled from the living area of the suite to what i guessed was the bedroom.

"Your doing what you want darling..." Damn that accent..again.I knew it felt good,but i was still held down by guilt,unnessary guilt but guilt non the less.

"Jude im not sure i can do this...its not right." as my body hit the bed his was on top of mine within seconds, "oh,sure you can i promise it'll feel good.." His lips again did their thing as i quivered at his touch.

"damnit...no i cant...really i think i should go."

As i said it his touch insantly changed from sensitive and giving, to harse and overpowering.Holding my wrists above my head "No i think you should stay,you wanted this so dont go backing out on me now...."

He was right i did,now i so dont.

"Jude...stop it now..i want to go"

"No..." As he continued to kiss and touch my body i quickly felt sick. i wanted this he was right, it was why i showed up after all.We both knew that.But at the same time i didnt, i didnt want it to be him....

i wanted Justin.

"NO...look let me go!" I struggled against his frame,and luckily managed to get a little bit of power before i bit in to his arm and kneed him in the balls before i got up,grabbed my bag and hauled ass to the lifts.

Once i knew i was inside and he wasnt following me i burst into tears,out of relief more than anything. I pressed the card to the floor and once i stepped on to it i saw someone out side the door,someone just sitting up against the wall....Jesus...What was Justin doing here?

***

As i got closer to the door, i realised that he wasnt just sitting there,he was asleep.
So i wiped away my tears and hid my shock as i slipped the key in the door,which i knew would wake him.

"Av...thank God,look i need to talk to you.." he stood up,and wiped himself down, " i mean it, i really need to talk to you..."
He insisted.
"Justin,what the hell are you doing?...here?..And where the hell is AJ.." letting him into the room i quickly made my way to the other side,for i knew he notice my shaking hands and torn skirt.

I managed to keep my voice calm.

"Shes ok shes with Trace and he said he'd call..look Av...im sorry ok, im sorry for not listening to you..not seeing what i was doing to you...i am-" He looked at me,all of me and his expression changed to one of concern.He rushed over to my side..."Ava what happened to you?...your shaking...have you been crying??..What the hell happened.?"

"Nothing i'm fine ok..." I lied still moving away from him.

"Ava you could never lie to me dont start now tell me...Was it that Jude guy?"

At that her eyes expanded,in shock and maybe a little shame.

"What? Who told-"

"Does it matter?...what happened??..."

I thought about it,but i was in such a state that my emotions got the better of me, and i gave in.

As i relayed the whole evil event to him i expected him to judge me,to tell me off,to be angry at me,but he wasnt- he was sweet,threatened to and i quote "Kick his british f***in ass all the way back to England." I wouldnt let him though. He was so good to me,so understanding it was unreal.He just assured me that i was going to be ok,and that he wouldnt leave me till i was ok again...

As we both layed down on the bed on top of the expensive covers he just held me and kept talking to me,running his hand through my hair,making me feel safe again and for that i was so thankful.

*******

It was bright,way too bright...i sirred and tried to block the rays coming rapidly throught the window....On turning i felt it,and then i saw...he was still there,his arm where it always rested,around my tummy holding me into him.

i just stayed that way for a few seconds.Just...looking.Noticing how he just layed there peacefully,breathing in and out with little noise,and the way his eyes moved...he was dreaming...that made her wonder just exactly what was it was about...

"Thank you" she whispered lowly as she buried her face below his neck.

"For what?" Was the horsed response.

Glancing up at him again she was surprised to find him looking right at her.

"For staying with me, for coming...wait...why did you come?"

He smiled, "I came to tell you that i didnt want you to be with that guy, or any guy for that matter, i hoped you wouldnt have threw me out,and i needed to tell you that i didnt want to lose you, and that i still love you..."
She beamed both inwards and out at his little speech."Really?"

"Really...i know that you dont want to rush or to be pushed and i promise i wont do anything you dont want to,but i guess i really wanted to know what exactly it was that you wanted to happen?"

I looked at him and it suddenly dawned on me,that after all this time and energy that maybe i had exactly what i wanted,right here in front of me just waiting....

"Justin...i want to be with you,i love you, i have done since that night in Dublin almost three years ago,and i havent stopped since.I know ive put you through hell, and i know that maybe i dont deserve someone as amazing as you,but the truth is i need you.I want you,and no one else." She was babbling,she was so cute when she babbled.

"Av..only if your sure this time because i dont think i could stand it if i lost you again i mean there are only so many times a man can be rejected before he loses his mind competely...."

"I know, i am sorry for the way ive been i really never meant for any of this to happen.....But i've gottne help for the whole depression thing,really i have,and its helped so much."

He knew that,he knew her she hated the thought of hurting anything let alone the people she cared about.He simply nodded.

"So what now J..." I asked still in the same position i held,in the nook of his neck.
Thinking,he knew his next move would define them and that was a lot of pressure since now everything was just so damn delicate.

"I think i'd like to start over,as much as possible any way...Ava we both got lost,we both took advantage of each other so much that we forgot what we really mean to each other- i dont want that to happen again...."

"Me neither..." She added.

After a shot silence,he took a deep breath and began,

"So...Ava would you like to go on a date with me?" And there was that million dollar smile.

"A date..like a date,you know i dont think we ever actually gone on a proper 'date' before."

she was right,it usually involved hotel rooms or apartments when we first go together

"Well id like to fix that if you dont mind,I want it to be proper, i come pick you up, we go we eat,maybe dance a little...Whatdaya say?"

YES YES YES....

"Well...yes,yes i would."

Maybe there was hope after all....

***



After our talk i somehow managed to get out of the hotel an back on a Jet to LA.
Without seeing any of the other girls.Which i guessed was a good thing,i was extatic to say the least.I didnt punk out i said what i needed her to hear,for over a damn month i was going back and forth wondering if we were meant to be together,I didnt need to because i knew, hell ive known all along that this girl is it for me.With the emotional baggage,quirks and all shes it-The one as they say i knew, that day in Walmart when we got locked in..then i knew that she was the woman i saw myself with at 70 in a rocking chair telling old stories with.I just hope she feels the same way.

***
"Av...whats with you,you've been humming and creeply happy all damn day."

Elisha spoke up from her sixth hangover 'cure' sitting on the couch of the living room of the suite with an ice pack at her head.

"What? I cant be happy?"

"No...Im Dying....Oh i was supossed to tell you Paige,shes with John and

Heather and Jamie well they met these guys so they f***ed off too...Man
being married sucks when your getting hit on by really hot men and cant do anything about it...."

"Well you could do something..."

"Yeah.True but i wouldnt."
zipping up my now packed suitcase,i glanced at her "I know hun,i know."

"So..where did you head last night...Anything to do with THE LAW...."

Ohh if you only knew...

"Naw..it wasnt going to work so i just...went to bed."

"Oh...man i have the weirdest feeling Justin was talking to me...but...well
damn i cant remember."

Sipping on the green coloured liquid she finally managed to get up and head for the shower.

"LISHA?"

"WHAT?" from behind the locked door she continued.

"We're leavin' in a hour...hurry ok?"

"Sure...."

L.A...Hes there...she knew she had to go pick up AJ,what would happen when she saw him again.

Slowly,that was a good word,as was date...she couldnt wait!



I cant describe the feeling i felt when i saw her again,i mean it was only a few days but she seemed different,bigger.I missed her so much!Justin wasnt in when i went to pick her up,Lynn said something about " A secret..." again i had no clue what she was on about, so a little disapointed i left with my little angel in tow.

"Honey...please sleeepp...mommy's ready to drop..please..." as i rocked her crib she still refused to settle down,she was never ususally this alert just sitting smiling, mocking me and my tiredness - it was after 11,usually she slept from 8 till at least 6am...

I did the only thing i could think of,i went over the sound system in my bedroom and searched out for a copy of the one cd i knew settled her down. As the streaming sounds of the one song gently filled the room she started to notice,and she started to listen.At Almost four months she was a smart little cookie.



<span style='font-size:8pt;line-height:100%'>"Sometimes the road gets hard, i wanna be your lake,for you babe and any problems that you have i wanna wash them away.i wanna be your sky so blue and high and every time you think of me i wanna blow your mind.

I wanna be your air so sweet and fair.



So that when you feel you cant breathe ma' i'll be there,and i wanna be your answer all the time when you see how i put your life before mine with no question.



When all the love feels gone and you cant carry on dont worry girl im gonna take it from here"
</span>

I somehow managed to get through a week alone with AJ,well alone in the sense her daddy was off on some promo thing to New York from the monday till the following monday.He really didnt need to i mean a number one album AND single and he was still pimping the sh** out of it? I didnt get it,but apparently TRL,and SNL needed him so who was i to argue.

***

I checked in with Ava,mainly about AJ,well that was the reason i began each phone conversation with anyway.I missed the baby in just few short months i'd felt a lifetime of attachment to her. I missed Ava too,something wicked.Id asked her on a date,now all we need to do was actually go out.I had to make it good though.I needed it to go well,because as slow as i wanted it i wanted Us more.



"So what are the big plans for tonight?"

"I...well i hope things 'go to plan but you know Av and I,do things ever go to plan?"

Trace laughed as he handed him the cold beer bottle from the fridge and took hiis seat in the recliner next to him, "Naw,a guess not...but whats up
with it any way..."

"I figured something simple...dinner...maybe dancing,i dont know man im so nervous..."

At that he laughed,he was laughing at me?

"What???"

"Well its just funny thats all i mean you've known her for what? Three years, you have a kid together for god sakes and your getting all worked up like it was a blind date..."



*****

"So...what are you wearing tonight?" Paige asked as she rifled her way through my stuffed closet,the thing about that was the clothes was,they were bought to fit his closets,the massive closets,mine were a little more - humble in size.

"I have no idea,i really dont.I mean what do you wear for a first date with a man you've already slept with and had a child with? Its not exactly something they run in Cosmo is it?.

Ok i was nervous..really overly nervous.


"Are you gonna sleep with him?" She asked pulling out a blue Alexander Mc Queen number.
I didnt know what to say.

"NO...i mean..no,its a date thats all...we're not rushing things remember."

At that she laughed.

"What? I am serious here...Paige no matter what factors are present i CANT let myself do that with him tonight...uhhh i know its gonna be sooo hard."
Smiking at me again she pulled out some more two piece outfits..

"God..what now?"

"Its been over six months right?I mean for both of you....Damn right it'll be 'hard'" she smirked.

Reaching for a pillow from my bed i pushed in her direction,being careful not to touch AJ who was sitting happily on the bed,sucking her dummy and watching all the nonsense.


"You b****...Paige im serious...i know when we're alone and hes being all charming and hot and what not i'll just give in,and i cant do that this time..."

"OHH i've got it..."

"what..."

"Just dont shave your legs...That way you DEFINATELY wont let it go too far..."



***
He was picking me in fifthteen minutes,i was a bunch of nerves and i really didnt know why.Things were never so formal with us before,and if they were we'd just ignore all the conventions and just have sex to make it go away.But now?Well....that was all out the window.

"Ok Paige her bottles are in the fridge and if you just heat them for about five maybe ten minutes they should be fine,you know where all her stuff is and you have my cell number right?"

"yes...yes and yes..so go have fun! But um,not too much fun right?" she finished with a evil smirk and a wink.She and John had offered to sit for me.They were such a cute couple but more than that it was clear just how crazy about each other they where.

Then snapped out of my thinking day dream i bearly heard the knock on the door.

Until in stepped Justin in all his glory,looking way to hot in a simple pair of jeans and button down blue and white striped shirt under a black sweater,he had his hair shaved again and with the tan it was all suddenly getting a little too hot in my small apartment.

"hi..."

"Hi,Ava..Paige..hey John..." As he greeted me i made an excuse to my room
to uhh...get my purse...I listened to him talk with the two sitters and of course coo over AJ.

***

I almost lost it when i saw her,she looked so f***ing hot it was difficult to keep my composure.

It wasnt like she was in anything unusal,we agreed to keep things simple,casual.So what if she was in a low cut white top that showed off her tan to perfection,so what if those jeans hugged her ass so tight i could see it all...so what if the boots over her jeans made inches taller and made me notice her legs-again with the tightness of the jeans. But damn this was gonna be difficult.

Taking a deep breath a finally willed myself out of the room, "So..Im ready."
Looking up at me again he smiled and kissed AJ whilst handing her over to Paige, as i grabbed my leather jacket i kissed her goodnight too and we where out the door.This was going to be...interesting to say the least.

_______________________________________________________ </span>



<span style='font-size:8pt;line-height:100%'>
I’ve been searching a long time
For someone exactly like you
</span>

<span style='color:dodgerblue'>"Av...you look really good tonight.well not that you dont always look good its just that i was...well i just thought id-"
"Justin..."

"Yeah?" he asked nervously again.

"Relax ok?

Smooth Timberlake.Smooth.

"oh and thank you.You scrub up well yourself actually.Minus the beard i see your face again and thats always a treat."
Why am i freaking out,this is just Ava and we're just gonna go eat,no pressure..

"So,you never did say where we were heading?"

"oh, i was thinking Gorgios,you know since this is...'casual' an all..."
"sounds good..."

After that there was this short awkward silence between us.I hated that silence so i reached for the radio.


"You dont mind do you?"

Glacing over at her i nodded no and switched lanes of traffic.

The song on the radio kept us both quiet,
<span style='font-size:8pt;line-height:100%'>
"if your not the one then why does my soul feel glad today if your not the one then why does your hand fit mine this way,

If you are not mine then why does your heart return my call. if you are not mine would i have the strength to stand at all,you never know what the further brings but i know that your here with me now but we'll make it through and i hope that you are the one i share my life with.

i dont want to run away but i cant take i dont understand if im not made for you then why does my heart tell me that i am is there any way that i could stay in your arms"

</span>
I couldnt quiet place why but the song made me think, and i assumed it did him too it wasnt like we hadnt heard it before but now i guess it held a meaning for us that neither of us were willing to admit to quiet yet.
[
I]<span style='font-size:8pt;line-height:100%'>
I’ve been travelling all around the world
Waiting for you to come through.
Someone like you makes it
All worth while</span>
[/I]

The resturant was nice,somewhat quiet for that time on a saturday night but it was nice not to be too over crowded.As we sat down and engaged in typical dinner conversation on everything but us,we talked friends family,AJ,album,fans hell even American Idol but we never addressed the topic of him and me.

"Come on.You cant really tell me now that you think Simon Cowell is straight?Girl...ive seen that show ok..hes not
straight!!"

"Yes he is! i know he is!"

"ok i'll bite...how exactly?"

This wasnt something id ever told him and i was aprehensive about it.

"uh..ok remember,when you and I were at that record company party about a year ago?"

He simply nodded at took another drink of his wine.

"Well he sorta kinda hit on me when you where talking with Dallas Austin,andJc.."

As i looked down at my plate,i suddenly found myself being sprayed on...by his wine...

"Oops....i am so sorry i just...he hit on you and you didnt tell me..."

Inspecting my top,which was white was now covered in red wine...Jesus..

"Justin i dont really think thats the point right now i know it was shocking since you were convinced he was gay and all
but DUDE! you spat on me!!!"

Oh...k so she had a right to be mad....But i was a little preoccupied with the fact that her now wet top was rapidly becoming see through. Damn.Lets just say i was thankful that i wore Jeans,things were less noticeable that way.

Watching somewhat entranced as she wiped at herself i had to remind myself to speak.

"i am sorry,do you wanna leave?"

She visably sighed.

"No,its...fine but man i feel so...exposed right now its unreal."

And just as i said that,i was grabbed by the hand and led through the resturant.

"Uh where are we going.."

He just glanced back saying "Dont worry 'bout it."

And before i knew it he was asking a waitress something and leading me throught the kitchen to a door. A store room door.What the hell-

"Justin,whats-"

"Get in." He notioned to the room,which i did and he closed it behind him.


"Justin..what are we-"

"Take off your shirt..."

I cant honestly tell you what went through me when he said that.But i chose to ignore thoses feeling and i acted offended.

"Excuse me,Justin-"

<span style='font-size:8pt;line-height:100%'>Someone like you keeps
Me satisfied. someone exactly
Like you
</span>

"Well we're gonna switch,kinda...Ill give you my shirt so that your not...exposed or whatever and we can get back to dessert."

Did he not know what he was doing to me talking like that.


"It'll be too big..."

"No it wont not if you tie it up like you used to,plus under the jacket it'll just look like one of those knotted tops you wear....come on..."

And with out another word his black sweater came over his head and he began unbottoning his shirt.

oh-my-damn...I'd almost forgotten what a view that was... suddenly that little store room was feeling mightly hot,and i was in a trance.

There he was standing in front of me,all topless and f***able smirking at me.Obviously he knew what i was thinking about.

And with that he stepped closer to me,and i swear the blood rushed to my head.

"We better hurry,dont want people to be thinking we're up to something now do we?" As his face and namely his lips inched closer to mine i almost forgot to breathe,what harm could a kiss do right?.

"Well..I-"

His lips touched down on hers and for that split second it felt as if it was in slow motion,this was better than she imagined,at first her hands where on his chest to maybe barrier him out from her space.

That however quickly changed as his hands got lost in her hair pulling her closer to him,he felt a shiver shoot down his spine and move to all the places he ached for her touch.It got so intense he swore his body was going to just lose it and take her right then.

***

Getting lost in his embrace was a hobby of Ava's, but this time
she knew it just couldnt happen and not just because they were in a public place but because she hadnt shaved her legs!!!!!

"n-no,wait..look Justin" As she tried to catch her breath she slowly backed away from him,who at this stage was worked up quiet a bit himself.

"We really um...we have to go outside right now..."
Breathless himself he managed to ask me "Why?"

"Justin..."

At that he backed off slightly,still somewhat flustered looking.
"Ok...your right,its just...im sorry i know i-we are supossed to be taking things a day at a time and here i am making it really really difficult.sorry.But i think you really should take my shirt."
I nodded and took it from him,feeling awkward undressing like that i turned around and he just laughed.

<span style='font-size:8pt;line-height:100%'>[I]I’ve been travellin’ a hard road
Lookin’ for someone exactly like you
I’ve been carryin’ my heavy load
Waiting for the light to come
Shining through
</span>
[/I]

By the time we made it back to our table i knew neither she nor i was in the mood to eat and make small talk after what just happened,or more to the point didnt happen.So we agreed that i'd just take her home.

"Soooo this isn't awkward AT ALL huh.?" She spoke up after the longest silence ive ever encountered with her.

"Im sorry i wanted tonight to be fun,and instead what do i do? i ruin it...."
"Well..it was fun Justin, i mean never have i been groped and forced to cross dress in a supply room before so it WAS fun..."
Although it would have been funner had we carried on...

"Well im glad then."
"Justin,i know ok? i know its difficult i mean six months is a helleva long time to go without..sex and trust me im feeling the strain myself but-"
"I know,it'll be so much more worth it when we reach that point again....althought i hope that doesnt take another 6 months because im not sure if i'd be sane enough to wait that long...." Laughing slightly at his own comments,i figured it was to ensure i didnt take them so seriously.

"yeah i know right?..So you havent...i mean with anyone else since we-"

At that his head snapped in my direction and with a rather loud highpitched "NO....of course not...i wouldnt..."
"oh..never mind then..."
Silently content i sat back and just watched the traffic,wonder why was it again i was waiting?



We reached her appartment building.It was bittersweet in a sense i didnt want her to leave because that would mean id be going home to the dark house and sleeping alone in a empty cold bed.But i needed her to leave so the strain on my hormones and other parts of my body everytime i looked at her went away.I swear over dinner,each time her fork touched her lips i thought i wanna gonna lose it - she did that sh** in slow motion!

"We're here..i should go in now i guess, Paige will be a little shocked im early she had planned out a "To do list" of movies i swear it'll last her all night. Well - " She motioned for the door only to be stopped by his hand on her arm.
"Av..you wanna go for a walk somewhere? just for a little while at least...Since your not expected yet?"

I thought about it,and honestly i didnt want my time alone with him to end just yet,sure it was difficult being around him at times with all i was feeling but i was women enought to surpress it.Wasnt I?



As we pulled up at the edge of the beach and put the car in park we just dandered on down to the sand.It was a nice late september night and in LA it never stopped being hot. We both slid off our shoes and managed to avoid the now freezing cold tide.

"This is nice,im glad we came here..." She said kicking some seaweed out of the way.She looked so nice even with her hair being blown all over the place by the light breeze.

"Me too...wanna sit?"

<span style='font-size:8pt;line-height:100%'>I’ve been doin’ some soul searching
To find out where you’re at
I’ve been up and down the highway
In all kinds of foreign lands
Someone like you
</span>

I nodded and we did.and for a moment we both just gazed in front of us,the pecific ocean so big and wide and dangerous,but still incredible and beautiful.

In that moments silence he kept his head faced in front and simply whispered " I love you."

And with each crash of each wave that ended on the shore my head fell to his shoulder...
"I love you too,always." With that he turned to me and kissed me,and it wasnt a kiss filled with sexual intentions or in order to turn me on,it was done simply to kiss and to show me his feelings.It was a kiss filled with what his words meant - love.</span>
***

User avatar
whatchagot4meMRJT
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Postby whatchagot4meMRJT » Wed Jul 13, 2005 12:23 pm

:wub: :wub: :wub: That was the cutest "first" date ever. I love how they're trying to forget about all of the bullsh** and take it back to the love and happiness they experienced when they first met. :clap:

he had his hair shaved again and with the tan it was all suddenly getting a little too hot in my small apartment.


I wouldn't be able to hold out with him looking like that. She better carry a razor in her purse next time. :lol:

User avatar
laura
Supreme Member
Posts: 3087
Joined: Mon Feb 16, 2004 11:34 am
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Postby laura » Thu Jul 21, 2005 10:27 am

<span style='color:red'>
After our down time and a little more meaningful conversation i dropped her off at home.Again the feeling was split,and as i got into the large and extremely empty bed that night couldnt help think of her,more than likely doing exactly what i was...just thinking.... i missed her....

He was gone for two weeks,Europe again,man it was difficult.Our 'dates' were basically conducted over the phone.It was nice really. Although id hate to see what the bill for his hotel phone will be when he has to leave.I mean i four hour phone call? Who knew we would have so much to talk about three years on,but then again that was us even when we had nothing to talk about we still managed comical conversation.

When i knew he was coming home to LA that Tuesday i knew by monday that we were going to meet up and i quote "Do somethin'" Now what that something was i had no sure fire clue,but i did have a few ideas. I knew i wanted him and from the sounds of things he wasnt exactly going to protest it.So feeling somewhat excited and a equal amount of nervousness i set off to beautify myself for our 'date'.Making sure i had my girls so i had the excuse.

"So Av.Really what is all this in aid of i mean we havent had a day at a spa in forever,whats the occasion."

Of course Piage would ask. So i tried my best to avoid the subject because i knew how much flack id recieve if i told the truth.

"Oh...i dont know i was just in need of a little de-stressing and since Lynn offered to have AJ i figured why not."

"oh.Because we 'figured' it was something else." Elisha pipped up from underneath her green facial mask.

As both she and Paige developed a case of the giggles i had to protest.

"Come on you two,cant i just do a nice thing for my friends...."

"No" Elisha smirked. "Not when we KNOW what the real reason is....its j,and hes coming home and y'all are gonna do it!!!"

I know that's the plan.... "EX-cuse me? Girl you have it ALL wrong..."
"really?" She looked at me in disbelief.

"Yes,ok we're meeting and going to dinner but thats it."
"So y'all are gonna almost get it on in a closet like last time huh?" Again with the array of smirks. I felt myself go redd underneath my mask.

"WHO told you that..."

"Trace." She stated like i didnt already know.

That little....


"Well...NO.ok."

"Surrre.Did you shave your legs?"

Does this girl ever give up.I chose not to answer but she just flipped away my towel and felt my legs causing her to outburst "HA! Not only have you shaved,but she waxed...she means business!!!"

So i gave in,they had me-Obiviously they knew my intentions.

"SOOOO...so what if i waxed,so what if i bought a new out fit,so what if i maxed out my Victora Secret store card....im gonna be prepared IF SOMETHING happens,im not saying it WILL."

"Ohh it will...trust me it will..." Elisha pipped again as she made her way out to get her mask removed. I needed her to be right,mainly the fact that i needed some attention and i needed it now!





I was freaking out fast and I know i was acting weird,i was so ansy it was unreal, i mean it was just a date,we dated before i left.What was the big deal.

Ok so i knew what it was,when i left we had dozens of dates,all over the phone line and now she was gonna be here and i could just reach out and she'd be there and well i having a hard time,in more ways than one.



"Ok just breathe and dont stare." I checked the mirror once more,and was still unhappy with the way my hair was sitting,but chose to ignore it,Ava always said she liked it grown out just a little.I knew it was her pulling up in the drive,the black bently made its presence known on the cctv a minute before.



I watched her as she exited the car,i figured if i saw her before she saw me the less chance there was of me gawking at her.And i was right because damn my girl looked FINE! She was dressed in her usual understated elegance.She never over did it and i liked that she was so different from the women i'd been with before,she was a lady above all else.Well to the outside she was.

Tonight she had went for this red number,it was in two pieces a skirt that stopped right above her knee and a top that i think was a halter-with one strap right around and it showed off her figure very nicely. As the door bell rang i all but sprinted to answer it,ok so i was a little over-excited,so sue me.

<span style='font-size:8pt;line-height:100%'>And in your eyes I see ribbons of color
I see us inside of each other
I feel my unconscious merge with yours
And I hear a voice say, "What's his is hers"
</span>



As i opened it she was like a breath of fresh air as she smiled.

"Hi..."

"Hi" I repeated as i scoped her into a hug,as she asked me how my trip was,i however was a little preoccupied with the fact that she wasnt wearing a bra-or at least it felt that way.

"How was Europe?" She asked sitting down in the sofa beside me.

"it was fine,second single's getting a lot of attention so its all good right?"

"YEAH!! its awesome really im so proud and hey my dad's wife even called saying shes hooked on it...so..."

"Really?" I smirked at that,sure i never met the women but i could believe it really.

"Oh yeah apparently she loves it..."

As we settled down i offered her a drink which she accepted,we had planned on going together to the launch of JC's new album "Outa-Sync" later that night.

Much of our conversation revolved around it and the engagement to Eva,they were sweet together so it wasnt exactly a surprise.

"Hey lets just hope they dont hire a gardener that looks like Jesse Metcalf,otherwise it might be trouble right?" Ava was always one to incorporate sarcastic jokes when she was nervous.



"Are you ok?" I asked her setting down my beer.

"Ahuh...you?"

"Oh im good." And yes that how awkward the conversation had turned.We both knew why,we were holding back not exactly doing what we wanted.

So as she and i both sat in a deafing silence,struggling for something to say,she suddenly got up.

"ok...lets have sex now."

Without a second thought i got up too. "Ok"

And just like that we both made our way upstairs. Ok so it wasnt the most romantic of propositions but hell it worked didnt it?

Why was i so damn nervous i mean this was Ava,i knew every inch of her body i've made love to her more times than i can remember-hell we made a baby.Why was i almost shaking?

<span style='font-size:8pt;line-height:100%'>I'm falling into you
This dream could come true
And it feels so good falling into you </span>





Ok so i just couldnt take it any more,we both knew what we wanted and we both knew it was gonna happen sooner or later i just sped past all the speed bumps and got right to it.But now i wasn't so sure, i mean here i was alone with him and i had basically demanded sex.Was it up to me to start since it was my idea....damn this is like the movies where everything seemed to go smoothly and there was no mistakes.

"SO..."
I felt like i was 15 again.

"So..." She repeated. Again looking more nervous than id ever seen her.

I didnt know what to say,we both just sat on the edge of my bed,looking around-honestly i felt like a virgin again."Do...well i..." I laughed nervously.
"Yeah..."
She laughed. Then her laugh turned into a full on giggle.

"what???" I asked in nervous question as she got up from the bed.

"Justin,this is US ok-this shouldnt be this hard...or awkward or weird its US for god sakes." As she tried to stop her laughing i started.

"yeah your right..."

So with a deep breath she walked over to me as i sat on the side of the oversized bad and she bent down and kissed me ever so gently on the lips.As i grabbed her to the point where she was practically straddling me,she kneeled up over me, i swear i never knew just kissing could be so damn hot.

The room felt like it was on fire, i could feel my whole body get hotter.As his hands ran up and down my back,he managed to untie my top and it fell to my waist.The sound he made when that happened cause goosebumps all over my skin. Jesus i didnt think i could take much more of the waiting.

As it turns out she was wearing a bra,just not one id ever seen before.It had no straps and it was red with dark lace,not that i dont enjoy the sight some funky undies its just i wanted what was underneath a lot more at that second.

As they both fell back on the bed manners and polite demeaner was out the window as their clothes where thrown carelessly around the room.

The necessary procautions where found and as she took over and began kissing his neck all over and up on to his chin before making her way down his torso slipping her tongue in and out of the dents made my the muscles i had work hard on this last few months. Jesus i thought d explode if she didnt stop teasing!!.As her teeth scraped over the hip bone all the muscles in his torso flexed.She smiled.I swear she knew,she knew what i wanted and she was overly enjoying not doing it.

"Av...seriously..we have to....just..come on..." Breathless he practically begged.

"In a hurry??" She asked almost smirking looking up at me throught passion filled eyes.It took all the will power i pocessed not to just slam her down right then.

"Ok your right,we have waited long enough...."
"YES...I mean..."

At that she laughed again she got up,slowly and i mean painfully slowly she stepped out of her french style red and blck panties her all over tan just made them stand out more than usual,and i almost drooled i swear.As she made her way back on to the bed and subsiquantly on me, she giggled- i knew it was the look on my face. "What?"

"Nothing,its just.." She giggled again,as she slid her hand from my thighs up my stomach and placed it on my chest she balanced herself and unhoked her bra.My hands had minds of their own as they cupped each of her soft supple breasts over and over again as their mouths engaged in another kiss.

And just as she was about to let him in to the place where he knew they both needed each other badly.The damn phone rang.

"DONT answer that...its just Jc wondering where we are...ignore it."

She nodded,but paused when the answer machine came on.

"Honey its mom...everythings fine but jc keeps calling and wondering where you are...Well i guess your both gone out now..so never mind."

as it clicked off he looked at her almost in pain.

"What a way to ruin a moment...man...." With that she got off and sat beside him.

" I knew i should have shut that thing off...." He said as he began kissing her again.

And then they didnt waste another second,it wasnt long before they where together again and through stressed breaths they managed to hold on to their sanity long enough to feel just how amazing it was to be with each other that way again.With each kiss with each thrust,and moan they got closer to the one feeling no other person could quiet make them achive.The heat between the two of them was something that never could be denied,from the very beginning it was a constant factor in their relationship.She made him feel things he never thought was possible.

And he knew it was the same for her.

when it finally hit,neither of then knew what to say.For her it felt like it was lasting forever,the room went blurry and nothing else matter other than that feeling of being connected to him.Chances were neither of them would have remembered what was said when it hit.And maybe that was a good thing since it consisted of mainly offensive four lettered words.



As the waves of undiscribable pleasure disippated, the relief that was felt was something huge.And just at that second the phone rang again. Ava being on the side checked the i.d : JC Cell,so with out hesitation she picked it up "Look we're busy ok...."

"Where you two at im almost ready to start and-"


<span style='font-size:8pt;line-height:100%'>
I was afraid to let you in here
Now I have learned love can't be made in fear
The walls begin to tumble down
And I can't even see the ground
</span>




"Jc...honey we love you but we're BUSY"
through the static of the line i heard him think with various whats and wheres.

"Hold on are you two...Are you two..you know?"
"yes...go away."

And with that she hung up.Causing Justin to burst out laughing. "Man,hes gonna be so mad!"
"I know right?aw well this is more importaint." he smiled as she slid down and rested her head on his chest.

"He'll forgive us...i hope.."

There was a lengthy silence,but not one were they struggled,just one of....contentment.

"Av?"

"Humm..." She answered soft stroking his chest absent mindedly.

"When...well when you wanna go back to your place would you mind if i came too..i mean i wanna see Aj,If thats ok?"

At that she moved to sit up. "Of course its ok...Justin you dont have to ask to see her...shes your daughter too you know!!!"

He smiled."Thanks...i miss her.. i mean i know she was only here living for a month or so but the house feels so different without her,and you.."

She knew that feeling,it was the one she got when she saw him with her,it broke her heart in a whole new way knowing he was missing out on the little and not so little developments in his daughters life.She knew how she would feel if things were the other way about.

"Thanks..."



They ended up staying in bed for a little while after that.Just more than anything enjoying each others company.Just making stupid conversation till it came to almost 6am.And they were still wide awake,and having eaten almost the entire contents of the fridge they decided to just get up.



The sun was slowly raising,and off the balcony of the bedroom was the greatest view of the skyline of LA.

It was so quiet from where she stood but she knew it would be a different story when she went to her place,the noise levels were insane.she knew either way she needed a new place.But wheather or not she'd be alone,that was still undecided.

<span style='font-size:8pt;line-height:100%'>Falling like a leaf, falling like a star
Finding a belief, falling where you are

Catch me, don't let me drop!
Love me, don't ever stop!

So close your eyes and let me kiss you
And while you sleep I will miss you

I'm falling into you
</span>


***</span>

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whatchagot4meMRJT
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Postby whatchagot4meMRJT » Fri Jul 22, 2005 7:38 am

:lol: :lol: :lol: Wooooooo, they sure know how to get down to business. I loved it. "Let's have sex!" "OK!" I see they don't like to ruin the moment with small talk. :rofl:

I want them back together so badly. :pray: Justin interacting with AJ is too cute for words. :wub: I need lots more of that. :D

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laura
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Postby laura » Wed Aug 03, 2005 6:58 am

Wow, this b**** is long.... well its been awhile so i think its needed??? ;)
i swear after i wrap these Fic's up NO MORE!!!!! my creativity is yanked to the limit right now!!!!
well who ever the hell is reading this - and my paige. Enjoy! B)


As we pulled up at her appartment the feelings in my gut were mixed, i mean we were kind of sorta maybe officially back together but we agreed that for now at least we wouldn’t mention it to anyone, least of all my mom.

"Hey Ma, where you at?" I announced as we both entered the appartment letting go of each others hands that we held all the way up in the elevator, childish i know but it felt so, so good to just do that again...

"Im here, Ava she's fed and changed." Lynn came strolling through the kitchen door with AJ in her arms. At four months she was already showing signs of a character she was forever smiling and those eyes, well it was a sight that i truly would never get tired of. Of course the perks of having Justin as her dad, meant that this was a child with true style, I think he cleared out the baby sections in all the up market stores in Beverly hills.

"Here Ma ill take her," I motioned to Ava as she nodded.

I watched him take her, make a series of funny faces and noises. Why was that the best thing in the world to me now?

I on the other hand made my way to change, and then i joined Lynn in the kitchen now in my comfy jeans and baby pink tank.

"So" Lynn initiated.

"Thanks again Lynn, for last night i really didn’t mean to stay so late."

Or maybe i did?

"Its fine i don’t get to see her enough and she’s a sweet child very easy to look after....it was a pleasure really. So...Did YOU have a pleasurable evening?"

Humm how exactly did i answer that without blurting out abso-f***in-lutey you'll never guess what we did in the kitchen??? But i couldn’t say that, because as open minded as lynn is about the you know...sex stuff i wasn’t about to go into all a that!

"Um, yeah it was....nice."

"Nice huh"

As she stirred her sweet tea i had to ask, her tone was filled with question.

"Whats that for?"

"What?"

"The 'huh' just now..."

"Nothin..." she shrugged.

"Lynn...."

"Oh fine, its just...well Justin must be losing his touch...i mean six months without...and i mean you TWO of all people...and well i just would have thought that without it for six months, well he would have tired harder...."

Woman if he went any harder i would have ended up in hospital...or we would have needed a new bed, floor, Kitchen Island...

"well, I mean..." I stumbled over my words as i reached for A.j's dummy.

"Im just gonna go give this to-"

"yeah, honey you do that..." Was all she said with a more than smug grin, she knew, of course she did...

I walked out to the living room to see my...boyfriend? And my daughter both silent, and if im not mistaken, asleep.

Damnit, now she won’t sleep tonight.
I wanted to wake him,but i didnt i couldn’t it looked too sweet. So i made sure she was secure in his arms and i told lynn to keep an eye on 'em, i needed a shower.
****
When i woke up she wasnt in my arms and before i panicked i heard my mom,

"She’s in her crib, glad your awake..."

"Wait...i fell asleep?"

She nodded.

"For a good half hour at least.

"Where's Ava."

"Shower, she’s been in there a while, maybe she fell asleep too..." She
laughed.

"What?"

"Nothin'"

"MA...."

"Well i guess you both didn’t get much...rest last night..." She laughed again, like she knew something and wasn’t letting on.

"Mom dont start ok we just-"

"Did it..." She smirked.

"Mom!!"

"Well, are you saying you didn’t?"

"Im soo not having this conversation with you...its...just"

"Its never stopped you before." She just had to remind me didn’t she? I
was always a little vocal about sex with her, but now...well i just don’t
know - it was different.

"Ok, so we did. But don’t say anything to Av' ok you know how she is about the sharing thing..."

She nodded again and picked up her bags.

"Well as much as i hate to, i do have to leave."

She told me she was heading to her hotel, and then to the house and then catching her flight to Memphis, a week in LA was more than enough for her. So i said my "seeyalaters" and she was out the door.

Just as the lock clicked on the bathroom door followed by Ava's wet head
peeking through..

"Who was that?"

"Mom, shes gone..."

"Awe damn i didn’t get to say thanks..."

"You know she loves it...no need." I sat back down again as i saw her exit the bathroom holding her towel up so she wasn’t showing… why?

So there i sat for oh... at least a full minute before i followed her, just as she dropped her towel.

"Damn i do have great timing..."

She smiled, and blushed slightly. i loved that I still after all this time, made her blush.

I walked over to her and enveloped her with my arms, her naked and
slightly damp skin brushing up again my clothes. My hands over her shoulders down her back and now where they rested on her butt.

She pulled away after i was sure she felt my kiss the way i wanted.

"Mmmm...You know? i love kissin' you." She just smiled and kissed me again this time pulling me over to the bed.

"Where’s Aj?"

"Asleep...her crib." It was all i could manage.
She stopped. Got up, and got the baby monitor, well she was forever worrying.

And then she closed the door of her bedroom slightly.

"I dont want her waking and seein' all a this!"

I had to laugh,as did she.

It wasnt long before she had me in my birthday suit again..

Was i complaining?

What do you think?
***
Breathless and wanting yet again, i couldn’t let him go...no i mean i really couldnt.The feeling that washed over me was so intense - again, that if i took my head from his neck, if let go of the arms that braced each side of me i couldn’t have predicted what would come from my mouth. Top that off with the fact that id already left a mark on him... i bit him... it wasn’t my fault though i was just kissing his neck and i wasnt ready...when it hit...and i mean it HIT...So yeah, pain all in the name of pleasure. And sure he have to cover it up for a while...but i was sure he'd forgive me.
@}{~~

After a couple of days - basically just hanging around, i had stayed with her at her place both nights, and i had to admit i loved it.

Just simple things like putting my daughter to bed...was amazing to me... I know its weird for a guy but...she was part of me and i loved her more than anything...maybe except Ava.

I agreed to stay with her that Monday as Ava headed off to work, I was turning in to quiet the Mr Mom, i took her out shopping too. Which i had to admit i loved too. There was just so much cute stuff for babies,and i decked her out in adidas and Nikey...it was adorable. teeny lil bitty shoes...

Don’t tell anyone but i got really in to it!
But i was being productive, you know when i wasnt dodging pap’s. I managed to take her, not lose her and get things for dinner. That’s right Justin Timberlake was cooking.
I think...


<span style='font-size:8pt;line-height:100%'>You need a friend
I'll be around
Don't let this end
</span>

I was really growing tired of work, i mean i used to love it.Now it was just another distraction. I hated my clients i hated my "working partners" as they called them,just a bunch of b****es really. Always on my ass about being one of the IN crowd. Just 'cause i was with/without Justin. Needless to say they where wetting themselves when the pics of us apart started to surface.
And now here i was, smile the size of Texas and cheery. All because of him.
They knew something wasn’t right so the semi-nice one of the bunch who i kinda liked
Emma comes up of course wonderin' what the hell is up with me.
"girl come on your N-ever this happy on a Monday. WHO is he?"
I faked ignorance.

"What are you talkin bout...i just am havin a good day is all...and tell them" I pointed to the stares across the room " To stop talkin bout me, really all the attention is really flattering an all but they must find someone else to obsess over."
With that sting of sarcasm i got up from my desk having finished with my work a good hour early and i made my way to the door. Peace at last...oh wait no, here they were again, those damn photographers. I mean what else do they do all damn day...Nothin' that’s what!! except stalk me the bastards

As i walked into my appartment i was greeted by a sound, noise. In my usually empty appartment.

"Hey sweetie,i didnt think you'd be home so soon..." Justin emerged from the kitchen, Aj in arms with my apron folded over his waist.

"What are you two doin'?" I asked taking her from him.

"Cooking.." He answered proudly. He what?

"Your kidding," I laughed in confusion? "Justin you don’t cook...should i be scared?"
He gave that "of course not crazy woman look" that i knew so well and begain talking to the baby.

"See that AJ, mommy has no faith in me!" then he looked at me again " For your information Missy AJ& I have been working very hard all day, this is awesome you'll see!"

I was still a little nervous...in the three years that id known him, never...has he ever attempted more than pop tarts and toast or eggs. That’s it...
***
Work the next day was long, tiring and hard. Nothing but meetings, and oh yeah yet more meetings.
I was so beyond looking forward to getting home again.
Knowing that Justin was there, knowing that Aj was content. It made it that much harder to stay concentrated on my job. it funny how becoming a mother has changed me...I mean really ,no aspect of my personality has stayed the same, she has made me a much better, deeper person than I was before. I was so thankful for her everyday.

"Ava? Ava?" I snapped out of the momentary daze i was in, sitting at my desk to see one of my "fellow workers" looking at me strangely.
"Yeah?"

"Whats wrong, it looks like your on a different planet.."

"Nothin',I was up late thats all, im fine though Karen."

"So," She continued even though im pretty sure my attitude was one of the Go-away-and-leave-me-
alone. "Im sorry to hear you and Justin split."

"Im sorry???"

"You know...its all over the papers...."

"Karenâ€￾ I began in a more than annoyed tone. "We work in PR and celebrity representations. Girl, you know we spin this sh** right? Don’t believe everything you read!"

"Are you two still?" She asked, and i knew it would be over the office in a matter of seconds.

"Look i think we're both busy, so i really need to get back to work." I dismissed her as easily as i could.


I made it to lunch time and decided to call home and see how things where.

"Hey you...How is she?â€￾ I asked a busy sounding Justin.

"She’s good, napping now .After that i think we'll head out, maybe visit a few people."

"What people?"

"I don’t know “he rhymed "Maaaybe the Ben &Jerry people, maybe Trace...He said he needs to talk to me
anyhow. How’s your day goin'?" His question was met with the usual groan he got when things weren't
good.

"That bad...Baby im sorry."

"Yeah, me too. Oh well, im going to grab a sandwich and then get back to a few things."

"Ok,I love you." I looked around knowing the busybodies were gone.

"I love you too. See you later k?"

"K."

With that i made my way into the office kitchen, where i planned on a strong cup of coffee and a snack, but before i could round the corner i heard people talking.

"I know, i mean who does she thinks she is, all I asked was if they were together or not..."

"Well, i know for a fact that he is seeing someone else."

"Who?" Claire asked, and I could hear the excitement in her voice.

"You know that girl...Cuthbert, we did her here a while ago, well yeah ive seen the pics they are always
together. Elisha I think her name is."

ok this b**** was dumber than Claire.

"Wow, man Ava must be spitting blood."

"Weird that she isn’t though, i mean those two? Would you ever have put them together? You know what
heard. She met him at his show in Ireland, and had sex with him right then and there...I mean what does
that say about her..."



"I never took her as the groupie type??" Claire continued to the other woman.

"Na, me either, but people surprise you...And hell she’s got a sweet deal out of it...child support from a
millionaire...Not bad for a whore.."

My temper was over active, it was ready to explode as i listened to each and every lie that came out of
their mouths, b****es. So i took a deep breath. Smiled. Before i rounded the corner.

"Ladies..." I announced. As the look of shock and shame appeared on their faces.

"Oh, hi Ava..."

"Hi..."I said, over sweetly,â€￾ What are we talking about??"

"Uh, oh nothing...just this and that..."

"uh huh...well.." I continued pouring my coffee and looking for my sandwich. "Can i just put a few "this or
that" things straight....?â€￾ They both looked at each other, and then back at me.

"Well first off, Justin...Isn’t seeing someone else, the girl you see him in the tabloids with is Elisha, his best
friends WIFE, and one of my best friends...I am NOT a groupie you stupid old b****...I met him after his
show in Ireland, yes. But I DID NOT have sex with him " I stretched and hid the truth "Actually we are back
together, and things are fantastic in fact they are better than that, Claire the reason I was so spaced out
and tired today wasn’t just because I was up late, it was mainly because i was busy having a lot of sex
with my Fiancée... So…â€￾ I got what I was looking for and smiled again, “I hope that’s cleared everything
up?"

I looked at the hatred on their faces, grinned and walked out.

Getting to my place that afternoon i found Justin and AJ in the middle of a riveting marathon of CSI, Justin doing the great, yet pointless job of explaining it all to her. She was only five months old after all, how much effect would it have on her?

"Hey you two, so what you do all day?"

As he came over, her in hand to greet me he smiled. "Aw we just hung
out...watched a little educational tv..."


<span style='font-size:8pt;line-height:100%'>Before I see you again
What can I say to convince you
To change your mind of me?
I'm going to love you more than anyone</span>


"CSI?" I asked.

"Yeah, girl you would believe the things we learned today...Anyway how
was your day?"
"Ugh, ok i guess. Works sucks can i just say that please."
"Why sweetie what’s happened?"

"b****es, that’s what’s happened....Ugh never mind...."

"Hey, come here." He motioned me to sit. " Trace and Lisha want us to
head out tonight."

"You told them we were back together???" i was surprised, mainly
because we agreed not to.

"No, he called my cell and asked me a few minutes ago, Elisha i think is
meant to be calling you...So if she does, dont let on."
It still surprised me that we had kept it under wraps, it had been a full three days and no one knew. It was kinda nice, considering they basically knew just about everything else about us.

"Oh,ok. Where?"

"Dont know? A club i think. Trace is really rooting for us you know? It’s
bizarre."

It was unusual, everyone knew that my first year with Justin, Trace wasn’t exactly the warmest of personalities. In fact, i think it was safe to say he hated me.

Given Justin’s history I can’t exactly say i blame him - before me he had a knack for picking some crazy ass hoes...I was the exception :)

"I know, it is...But in a good way right?"

"Oh yeah. He loves you now, mainly because he knows how happy i am with you... Most of the time" He added with a wink.

"MOST?"

At that he laughed that full on laugh that I loved so much.
****
Landing at one of the familiar clubs that we all used to haunt - pre baby any way I was somewhat surprised at just how happy I was to be normal again. To be just be able to fit in and look forward to spending time with my friends like any other 21 year old. But I knew Justin was anxious. I mean we hadn’t been out together since she was born and leaving Aj like that, well it was tricky. For both of us.

“So listen they’re outside, they still don’t know about us…so what’s the deal?â€￾ He asked me leaning in to be heard over the loud music whilst flipping his cell phone closed.

“I think we should just…I don’t know? Play it by ear and see maybe?â€￾

“Sounds good.â€￾

As we both broke apart we saw the still blissful couple walk through.
“Hey…â€￾ Elisha exclaimed in excitement. “You’re both here? I didn’t know that?â€￾ She looked back at Trace and smiled.
“Yeah weird huh? So girl? How was England?â€￾ I made reference to her trip…well her working trip with Trace that involved a few TV spots and auditions for some new movie work.

“It was good, really good.â€￾ She smiled leaning in and whispering something to me,

“What?â€￾

“I didn’t know he was gonna be here so soon…I figured we would arrive
first…this isn’t a intervention really.â€￾ She smiled.

“I know girl, and its fine – j and I? We’re fine really so don’t worry…â€￾
“Really? I mean I figured that after Vegas?â€￾

“Nopeâ€￾ I smiled “its fine. So let’s get that drink you promised me…â€￾ I nodded to Justin as we both set off for the bar.
****

I saw them leave the area, I then saw the guilty look on Traces face, it was funny seeing him so concern for us both.

“Man. I swear I didn’t know she’d be hereâ€￾ He began to lie. “I mean I
knew she’d be here but just not before us.â€￾

“Sure you did,â€￾ I laughed at him then causing him to look at me in question.

“Justin? What is up? I mean I swore you’d be mad…I mean after Vegas…which by the way you never told me about…you’ve been really quiet…what’s going on with you two now anyway?â€￾ He rambled off in record speed.

“Nothing…we’re getting along fineâ€￾ I avoided.

“Fine? You hear she is shacking up with another dude and you just…its fine now? What did I miss?â€￾
“Nothin’ it’s just we…look we’re ok so can we drop it please they’re coming back…â€￾ I nodded to him as I saw the two familiar figures come in to view.

“ what are you and my husband up to know, I swear Ava you separate these two from more than a week and they don’t know what to do without each other…its like a boy with out his toy.â€￾ Elisha laughed setting down both beers in front of her husband and me.

“Hey now? That’s not true!â€￾

“Ahuh…â€￾ she smirked as I noticed Ava staying pretty much silent.

“So Ava,â€￾ I began. “What have you been up to lately?â€￾

“ME?â€￾ He eyes widened, since I knew she wasn’t expecting me to ask her anything.

“Yeah you…what’s up?â€￾ I smirked.

“Oh Nothin’ you know me…â€￾ she smiled.

“Yeah I do which is why I know you’re never not busy…â€￾

“Justin…â€￾ she began, but I cut her off. “ HEY! Wanna dance?â€￾ I walked
over to her, ignoring the shocked looks from my friends and reached for her hand. Pretty much dragging her on to the dance floor.

“What are you doing? I thought we were supposed to be playing it cool for now?â€￾ she whispered to me once we were far enough into the crowd to go unheard.
****
“I know baby, but I can’t help it its so hard…I can’t hide anything from him and he knows im hiding something…plus the fact that you are looking somewhat extraordinary tonight it just makes it all the much harder.â€￾
I loved it when he got overly sentimental on me, especially about me.
“Justin does he know we’re back together?â€￾

“No, but he knows something’s up.â€￾ He answered as his lips grazed my earlobe making my whole body shiver as he stepped back to dance behind my back.

“I think he knows…I mean the way they kept looking at us, I swore we had “sexâ€￾ right across our foreheads…â€￾I divulged as his hands dipped to my waist. Sliding slightly up my top.

My hands met his, “Don’t.â€￾ I warned.

<span style='font-size:8pt;line-height:100%'>I'm going to hold you closer than before
And when I kiss your soul, your body'll be free
I'll be free for you anytime
</span>

“Why?â€￾ he whispered somewhere between sexual and wanting.

“Because we’re in public…and I don’t think I could handle it right now...â€￾

“Oh…sure you could.â€￾ His hand slid further and I knew it had to stop. “No… I mean it…â€￾

His figure came to my front again and I watched him make that seductive eye contact with me and I knew I was done for.

“I mean it too.â€￾

“What has gotten in to you…â€￾ I asked knowing my tone was surprised.

“You...â€￾ he answered with that smirk of sexiness that he carried so well
with him in all he did.

I had to admit his behaviour was surprising, welcomed but surprising.



“We really can’t do this…not here.â€￾ I looked around seeing that it was
just my own paranoid self that was thinking that everyone was watching
us. No one was.

“Why not?â€￾ he smirked again, fully aware of my nerves.

“I mean it if you keep this up – no pun intended I think we’ll HAVE to
leave.â€￾ I smiled.

“So then why don’t we?â€￾ He suggested and I didn’t know if he was kidding or not. “Look I want you…like, now and I don’t Wanna wait so that we’re not bein’ rude.â€￾ He continued in a more desperate tone. And I had to admit knowing that I had that amount of power over him again –

it excited me.

I just shook my head no slightly and headed back to the table, knowing fully well that I was leaving him in a frustrated position.

<span style='font-size:8pt;line-height:100%'>
I'm going to love you more than anyone
Look in my eyes, what do you see?
Not just the color
Look inside of me</span>


“So hey…â€￾ Elisha pipped up from her previous conversation with her husband. “What’s going on with you two anyway?â€￾

“Im really not sure.â€￾ I nodded to the waitress for another of what I had before and sat back down.

“I mean are you two back together?â€￾
YES!!!!!!!

“umm…â€￾

“Av’ don’t lie, I know the look ok so don’t even try and hide it.â€￾
There was a look? What look, I never knew about any look.
“What?â€￾
“Its there ok! The “ive had him twice today lookâ€￾ you’ve always had it.â€￾ She laughed sipping her Cosmo.
“Elisha what are you on, Justin and I are –“
But there was a problem, before I could finish my sentence of denial I was interrupted by non other than JC.
“Justin and you are assholes…â€￾ He laughed. “You guys promised me you’d come to the launch but did you? Noooo you blew me off to have sex! I think you owe me – “

“They what?â€￾ Both Trace and Elisha said in unison.

“JC, what the hell are you doing here? I thought…aren’t you supposed to
be in Atlanta?â€￾ I sweated.

“Nopeâ€￾ he smirked as the look of astonishment spread on the faces of
the other couple.

“Justin look who’s hereâ€￾ I announced as I saw him coming back from where ever the hell he was. And he instantly looked at me with wide
eyes, passing me to greed JC in their usual way.

Wide folded arms and a scowl Elisha and Trace both look at us in question.

“What?â€￾ Justin asked unknowingly taking a swig of his beer.

“The games up dude, JC let it slip. When the hell did you two get back together??â€￾

Looking at me as I did him, we both fought our smirks.

“Well!!!!â€￾ Elisha demanded still

Still holding in the bursts of inevitable laughter we knew we had to come clean, problem was neither of us wanted to.

“Well, actually the truth is you guys…â€￾ He glanced at JC in what I was guessing was more of a “thanks a lotâ€￾ glare than anything else. “That Ava and I? well we’re back together, and the only reason we didn’t tell y’all is Cuzâ€￾ I had to giggle at how his southern drawl got so much thicker when he was in trouble, I guess he thought the country boy charm would win everyone over. “We didn’t want to jinx it. We just started taking things slowly again and we didn’t want the pressure – “

<span style='font-size:8pt;line-height:100%'>Tell me all you need and I will try
I will try
I'm going to love you more than anyone
I'm going to hold you closer than before
And when I kiss your soul, your body'll be free
I'll be free for you anytime
</span>

“Pressure? What pressureâ€￾ Elisha interrupted, “just because we love you and want you get married have lots of kids and live happy ever after, I mean where’s the pressure in that???â€￾
At her little outburst the entire table burst in to fits of laughter, it was so like her – In a way, she was so like me, we always talked before we thought about it. It was an emotional flaw.

“Ok, Ok" I stood up. So we give, we got caught. Thank god!!!â€￾ I announced sitting closer to Justin that I had been before while he planted a soft kiss on my lips. I mean as fun as it was pretending I was so glad we could just be ourselves again. Finally things where getting back to normal.
Finally.

After everyone that we needed to know knew about us again, we almost settled into a normal routine. Only this time it wasn’t me giving up my space - my haven. It was Justin.
Yeah, I was as shocked as you. Almost every night he would come home, not to the mansion but to my humble – but pretty appartment. The neighbours got really used to having around. And the funny thing was, he wasn’t even considered a 'celebrity' to them any more. Funny huh?

But there we where, living pretty much like a normal young couple with a kid. Who by the way was getting cuter every day. As we approached her five month “birthdayâ€￾ Justin and I were completely back on track.
We even attended a few award shows together. Which I had always avoided in the past.

I always thought I wasn’t pretty enough to grace the red carpet, my love however soon got that out of my head. And I had to admit getting all dressed up in fancy expensive dresses and jewels is fun right? I mean what girl doesn’t love that! Well what straight girl anyway. By mid November we were hosting the parties again, and basically being sickenly coupley. Much to everyone’s disgust.
*****
I was really growing tired of work, i mean i used to love it.Now it was just another distraction. I hated my clients i hated my "working partners" as they called them,just a bunch of b****es really. Always on my ass about being one of the IN crowd. Just 'cause i was with/without Justin.

Needless to say they where wetting themselves when the pics of us
apart started to surface.

And now here i was, smile the size of Texas and cheery. All because of him.
They knew something wasn’t right so the semi-nice one of the bunch who i kinda liked

Emma comes up of course wonderin' what the hell is up with me.

"girl come on your N-ever this happy on a Monday. WHO is he?"

I faked ignorance.

"What are you talkin bout...i just am havin a good day is all...and tell them" I pointed to the stares across the room " To stop talkin bout me, really all the attention is really flattering an all but they must find someone else to obsess over."

With that sting of sarcasm i got up from my desk having finished with my work a good hour early and i made my way to the door. Peace at last...oh wait no, here they were again, those damn photographers. I mean what else do they do all damn day...Nothin' that’s what!! except stalk me the bastards

As i walked into my appartment i was greeted by a sound, noise. In my usually empty appartment.

"Hey sweetie,i didnt think you'd be home so soon..." Justin emerged from the kitchen, Aj in arms with my apron folded over his waist.

"What are you two doin'?" I asked taking her from him.

"Cooking.." He answered proudly. He what?

"Your kidding," I laughed in confusion? "Justin you don’t cook...should i be scared?"

He gave that "of course not crazy woman look" that i knew so well and begain talking to the baby.

"See that AJ, mommy has no faith in me!" then he looked at me again "

For your information Missy AJ& I have been working very hard all day, this is awesome you'll see!"

I was still a little nervous...in the three years that id known him, never...has he ever attempted more than pop tarts and toast or eggs.
That’s it...
***
Work the next day was long, tiring and hard. Nothing but meetings, and oh yeah yet more meetings.
I was so beyond looking forward to getting home again.
Knowing that Justin was there, knowing that Aj was content. It made it that much harder to stay concentrated on my job. it funny how becoming a mother has changed me...I mean really ,no aspect of my personality has stayed the same, she has made me a much better, deeper person than I was before. I was so thankful for her everyday.
"Ava? Ava?" I snapped out of the momentary daze i was in, sitting at my desk to see one of my "fellow workers" looking at me strangely.

"Yeah?"

"Whats wrong, it looks like your on a different planet.."

"Nothin',I was up late thats all, im fine though Karen."

"So," She continued even though im pretty sure my attitude was one of
the Go-away-and-leave-me-alone. "Im sorry to hear you and Justin split."

"Im sorry???"
"You know...its all over the papers...."

"Karenâ€￾ I began in a more than annoyed tone. "We work in PR and celebrity representations. Girl, you know we spin this sh** right? Don’t believe everything you read!"

"Are you two still?" She asked, and i knew it would be over the office in a matter of seconds.

"Look i think we're both busy, so i really need to get back to work." I dismissed her as easily as i could.

I made it to lunch time and decided to call home and see how things where.

"Hey you...How is she?â€￾ I asked a busy sounding Justin.

"She’s good, napping now .After that i think we'll head out, maybe visit a few people."

"What people?"

"I don’t know “he rhymed "Maaaybe the Ben &Jerry people, maybe Trace...He said he needs to talk to me anyhow. How’s your day goin'?"
His question was met with the usual groan he got when things weren't good.

"That bad...Baby im sorry."

"Yeah, me too. Oh well, im going to grab a sandwich and then get back to a few things."

"Ok,I love you." I looked around knowing the busybodies were gone.

"I love you too. See you later k?"

"K."

With that i made my way into the office kitchen, where i planned on a strong cup of coffee and a snack, but before i could round the corner i heard people talking.

"I know, i mean who does she thinks she is, all I asked was if they were together or not..."

"Well, i know for a fact that he is seeing someone else."

"Who?" Claire asked, and I could hear the excitement in her voice.

"You know that girl...Cuthbert, we did her here a while ago, well yeah ive seen the pics they are always together. Elisha I think her name is."
ok this b**** was dumber than Claire.

"Wow, man Ava must be spitting blood."

"Weird that she isn’t though, i mean those two? Would you ever have
put them together? You know what heard. She met him at his show in Ireland, and had sex with him right then and there...I mean what does that say about her..."

"I never took her as the groupie type??" Claire continued to the other woman.

"Na, me either, but people surprise you...And hell she’s got a sweet deal out of it...child support from a millionaire...Not bad for a whore.."

My temper was over active, it was ready to explode as i listened to each and every lie that came out of their mouths, b****es. So i took a deep
breath. Smiled. Before i rounded the corner.

"Ladies..." I announced. As the look of shock and shame appeared on
their faces.

"Oh, hi Ava..."

"Hi..."I said, over sweetly,â€￾ What are we talking about??"

"Uh, oh nothing...just this and that..."

"uh huh...well.." I continued pouring my coffee and looking for my sandwich. "Can i just put a few "this or that" things straight....?â€￾ They both looked at each other, and then back at me.

"Well first off, Justin...Isn’t seeing someone else, the girl you see him in the tabloids with is Elisha, his best friends WIFE, and one of my best friends...I am NOT a groupie you stupid old b****...I met him after his show in Ireland, yes.
But I DID NOT have sex with him " I stretched and hid the truth "Actually we are back together, and things are fantastic in fact they are better than that, Claire the reason I was so spaced out and tired today wasn’t just because I was up late, it was mainly because i was busy having a lot of sex with my Fiancée... So…â€￾

I got what I was looking for and smiled again, “I hope that’s cleared everything up?" I looked at the hatred on their faces, grinned and walked out.
Getting to my place that afternoon i found Justin and AJ in the middle of a riveting marathon of CSI, Justin doing the great, yet pointless job of explaining it all to her. She was only five months old after all, how much effect would it have on her?

"Hey you two, so what you do all day?"

As he came over, her in hand to greet me he smiled. "Aw we just hung
out...watched a little educational tv..."

"CSI?" I asked.

"Yeah, girl you would NOT believe the things we learned today...Anyway how
was your day?"

"Ugh, ok i guess. Works sucks can i just say that please."

"Why sweetie what’s happened?"

"b****es, that’s what’s happened....Ugh never mind...."

"Hey, come here." He motioned me to sit. " Trace and Lisha want us to head out tonight."

"You told them we were back together???" i was surprised, mainly
because we agreed not to.

"No, he called my cell and asked me a few minutes ago, Elisha i think is meant to be calling you...So if she does, dont let on."

It still surprised me that we had kept it under wraps, it had been a full three days and no one knew. It was kinda nice, considering they basically knew just about everything else about us.

"Oh,ok. Where?"

"Dont know? A club i think. Trace is really rooting for us you know? It’s
bizarre."

It was unusual, everyone knew that my first year with Justin, Trace wasn’t exactly the warmest of personalities. In fact, i think it was safe to say he hated me.

Given Justin’s history I can’t exactly say i blame him - before me he had a knack for picking some crazy ass hoes...I was the exception :)

"I know, it is...But in a good way right?"

"Oh yeah. He loves you now, mainly because he knows how happy i am
with you... Most of the time" He added with a wink.

"MOST?"

At that he laughed that full on laugh that I loved so much.
****
Landing at one of the familiar clubs that we all used to haunt - pre baby any way I was somewhat surprised at just how happy I was to be normal again. To be just be able to fit in and look forward to spending time with my friends like any other 21 year old. But I knew Justin was anxious. I mean we hadn’t been out together since she was born and leaving Aj like that, well it was tricky. For both of us.

“So listen they’re outside, they still don’t know about us…so what’s the deal?â€￾ He asked me leaning in to be heard over the loud music whilst flipping his cell phone closed.

“I think we should just…I don’t know? Play it by ear and see maybe?â€￾

“Sounds good.â€￾

As we both broke apart we saw the still blissful couple walk through.

“Hey…â€￾ Elisha exclaimed in excitement. “You’re both here? I didn’t know
that?â€￾ She looked back at Trace and smiled.

“Yeah weird huh? So girl? How was England?â€￾ I made reference to her trip…well her working trip with Trace that involved a few TV spots and auditions for some new movie work.

“It was good, really good.â€￾ She smiled leaning in and whispering something to me,

“What?â€￾


“I didn’t know he was gonna be here so soon…I figured we would arrive first…this isn’t a intervention really.â€￾ She smiled.

“I know girl, and its fine – j and I? We’re fine really so don’t worry…â€￾

“Really? I mean I figured that after Vegas?â€￾

“Nopeâ€￾ I smiled “its fine. So let’s get that drink you promised me…â€￾ I nodded to Justin as we both set off for the bar.
****

I saw them leave the area, I then saw the guilty look on Traces face, it was funny seeing him so concern for us both.

“Man. I swear I didn’t know she’d be hereâ€￾ He began to lie. “I mean I knew she’d be here but just not before us.â€￾

“Sure you did,â€￾ I laughed at him then causing him to look at me in
question.

“Justin? What is up? I mean I swore you’d be mad…I mean after Vegas…
which by the way you never told me about…you’ve been really quiet…what’s going on with you two now anyway?â€￾ He rambled off in record speed.

“Nothing…we’re getting along fineâ€￾ I avoided.

“Fine? You hear she is shacking up with another dude and you just…its
fine now? What did I miss?â€￾

“Nothin’ it’s just we…look we’re ok so can we drop it please they’re coming back…â€￾ I nodded to him as I saw the two familiar figures come in to view.

“ what are you and my husband up to know, I swear Ava you separate
these two from more than a week and they don’t know what to do without each other…its like a boy with out his toy.â€￾ Elisha laughed
setting down both beers in front of her husband and me.

“Hey now? That’s not true!â€￾

“Ahuh…â€￾ she smirked as I noticed Ava staying pretty much silent.

“So Ava,â€￾ I began. “What have you been up to lately?â€￾

“ME?â€￾ He eyes widened, since I knew she wasn’t expecting me to ask her anything.

“Yeah you…what’s up?â€￾ I smirked.

“Oh Nothin’ you know me…â€￾ she smiled.

“Yeah I do which is why I know you’re never not busy…â€￾

“Justin…â€￾ she began, but I cut her off. “ HEY! Wanna dance?â€￾ I walked
over to her, ignoring the shocked looks from my friends and reached for her hand. Pretty much dragging her on to the dance floor.

“What are you doing? I thought we were supposed to be playing it cool for now?â€￾ she whispered to me once we were far enough into the crowd to go unheard.
****
“I know baby, but I can’t help it its so hard…I can’t hide anything from him and he knows im hiding something…plus the fact that you are looking somewhat extraordinary tonight it just makes it all the much harder.â€￾

I loved it when he got overly sentimental on me, especially about me.

“Justin does he know we’re back together?â€￾

“No, but he knows something’s up.â€￾ He answered as his lips grazed my earlobe making my whole body shiver as he stepped back to dance behind my back.

“I think he knows…I mean the way they kept looking at us, I swore we had “sexâ€￾ right across our foreheads…â€￾I divulged as his hands dipped to my waist. Sliding slightly up my top.

My hands met his, “Don’t.â€￾ I warned.

“Why?â€￾ he whispered somewhere between sexual and wanting.

“Because we’re in public…and I don’t think I could handle it right now...â€￾

“Oh…sure you could.â€￾ His hand slid further and I knew it had to
stop. “No… I mean it…â€￾

His figure came to my front again and I watched him make that seductive eye contact with me and I knew I was done for.

“I mean it too.â€￾

“What has gotten in to you…â€￾ I asked knowing my tone was surprised.

“You...â€￾ he answered with that smirk of sexiness that he carried so well with him in all he did.

I had to admit his behaviour was surprising, welcomed but surprising.

“We really can’t do this…not here.â€￾ I looked around seeing that it was just my own paranoid self that was thinking that everyone was watching us. No one was.

“Why not?â€￾ he smirked again, fully aware of my nerves.

“I mean it if you keep this up – no pun intended I think we’ll HAVE to leave.â€￾ I smiled.

“So then why don’t we?â€￾ He suggested and I didn’t know if he was kidding or not. “Look I want you…like, now and I don’t Wanna wait so that we’re not bein’ rude.â€￾ He continued in a more desperate tone. And I had to admit knowing that I had that amount of power over him again – it excited me.

I just shook my head no slightly and headed back to the table, knowing fully well that I was leaving him in a frustrated position.

“So hey…â€￾ Elisha pipped up from her previous conversation with her husband. “What’s going on with you two anyway?â€￾

“Im really not sure.â€￾ I nodded to the waitress for another of what I had before and sat back down.

“I mean are you two back together?â€￾

YES!!!!!!!

“umm…â€￾

“Av’ don’t lie, I know the look ok so don’t even try and hide it.â€￾

There was a look? What look, I never knew about any look.

“What?â€￾

“Its there ok! The “ive had him twice today lookâ€￾ you’ve always had it.â€￾
She laughed sipping her Cosmo.

“Elisha what are you on, Justin and I are –“
But there was a problem, before I could finish my sentence of denial I was interrupted by non other than JC.

“Justin and you are assholes…â€￾ He laughed. “You guys promised me
you’d come to the launch but did you? Noooo you blew me off to have sex! I think you owe me – “

“They what?â€￾ Both Trace and Elisha said in unison.
“JC, what the hell are you doing here? I thought…aren’t you supposed to be in Atlanta?â€￾ I sweated.

“Nopeâ€￾ he smirked as the look of astonishment spread on the faces of the other couple.

“Justin look who’s hereâ€￾ I announced as I saw him coming back from
where ever the hell he was. And he instantly looked at me with wide
eyes, passing me to greed JC in their usual way.

Wide folded arms and a scowl Elisha and Trace both look at us in question.

“What?â€￾ Justin asked unknowingly taking a swig of his beer.

“The games up dude, JC let it slip. When the hell did you two get back together??â€￾

Looking at me as I did him, we both fought our smirks.

“Well!!!!â€￾ Elisha demanded still

Still holding in the bursts of inevitable laughter we knew we had to come clean, problem was neither of us wanted to.

“Well, actually the truth is you guys…â€￾ He glanced at JC in what I was guessing was more of a “thanks a lotâ€￾ glare than anything else. “That Ava and I? well we’re back together, and the only reason we didn’t tell y’all is Cuzâ€￾

I had to giggle at how his southern drawl got so much thicker when he was in trouble, I guess he thought the country boy charm would win everyone over. “We didn’t want to jinx it. We just started taking things slowly again and we didn’t want the pressure – “

“Pressure? What pressureâ€￾ Elisha interrupted, “just because we love you and want you get married have lots of kids and live happy ever after, I mean where’s the pressure in that???â€￾
At her little outburst the entire table burst in to fits of laughter, it was so like her – In a way, she was so like me, we always talked before we thought about it. It was an emotional flaw.

“Ok, Ok" I stood up. So we give, we got caught. Thank god!!!â€￾ I announced sitting closer to Justin that I had been before while he planted a soft kiss on my lips. I mean as fun as it was pretending I was so glad we could just be ourselves again. Finally things where getting back to normal.

Finally.

After everyone that we needed to know knew about us again, we almost settled into a normal routine. Only this time it wasn’t me giving up my space - my haven. It was Justin.

Yeah, I was as shocked as you. Almost every night he would come home, not to the mansion but to my humble – but pretty appartment. The neighbours got really used to having around. And the funny thing was, he wasn’t even considered a 'celebrity' to them any more. Funny huh?

But there we where, living pretty much like a normal young couple with a kid. Who by the way was getting cuter every day. As we approached her five month “birthdayâ€￾ Justin and I were completely back on track.
We even attended a few award shows together. Which I had always avoided in the past.

I always thought I wasn’t pretty enough to grace the red carpet, my love however soon got that out of my head. And I had to admit getting all dressed up in fancy expensive dresses and jewels is fun right? I mean what girl doesn’t love that! Well what straight girl anyway. By mid November we were hosting the parties again, and basically being sickenly coupley. Much to everyone’s disgust.
*****

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whatchagot4meMRJT
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Postby whatchagot4meMRJT » Wed Aug 03, 2005 9:38 am

:dance: :dance: I loved how they showed up at the club, attempting to play it cool. Hahahahaha ... like that was ever going to work. I'm glad JC spilled the beans. :lol: It sucks to hide something. Now they can be the sweet, lovely couple that they are. :wub:

I would have beat those b****es at her work. Evil women. <_<

The lil itty bitty baby shoes get me every time. Whenever I'm at the store, I always want to buy a pair. Just to look at. :rofl:

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laura
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Postby laura » Thu Aug 18, 2005 9:05 am

“Ava?â€￾ I asked knowing she was almost asleep.
“Humm?â€￾

“What do you think if we bought a new house?â€￾ I suggested.

“Justinâ€￾ her sleepy voice got louder as she turned to see me sitting on my elbow, looking in her direction.

“What are you talkin’ about? We don’t need a new house.â€￾
“Well…â€￾ I carried on with my idea. “I was thinking, that if we did move. We could move right.â€￾
Again, I wasn’t doing a good job of explaining my idea. “Well see, as much as I love this place, and mine. It’s just…it’s not ours you know?â€￾
“No, I don’t?â€￾ she yawned.
“Well I was…if we did then we could both pick a place that we loved. A place that has both aspects of us in it….where we both feel like we belong, you know?â€￾
“Baby, do you not like my modest little apartment?â€￾ She smiled knowing that I had always said it was two small for all three of us.

“No, I do…kinda, its just that…well if we did I think it would be a good thing, for us if we were gonna start off married life together in a place that we both belonged.â€￾
I saw her consider it, and I saw the smile when I mentioned marriage. It was something that we both now wanted more than anything, to be a proper family – we just had problems picking dates and places.

“Well if you want...â€￾ she finally gave in.

Again, I wasn’t feeling her excitement. So I shook her gently smiling. “Come on. Av…I need a little encouragement here…â€￾
“J…I love that house I do, but ill admit the notion that you’ve ‘had’ other women there does freak me out just a little…so yeah I mean if you want to sell it, start new. Id love to!!â€￾ Her tired body moved closer to me as I sat awake in her apartment, wondering if we did move would it be a help or a hindrance.

*****


“Come on honey, aw that’s it…â€￾ I coached her to not cry as I sat her in the few inches of water I knew I could manage her in alone. Bathing my daughter was always enjoyable, and now that she could sit up, it was even easier. At five months she had come on in leaps. She’d developed so fast. Her sweet green eyes still just captivated me, and reminded me so much of Ava when she smiled. She also had her momma’s nose, praise the lord. But the rest of her was pretty much a carbon copy of me. God only help the child. She had my hands, same shape and of course the curls. On her tiny head she had already sprouted several blonde curls.

I had to admit I hated the curls on myself, but for some reason knowing that I had passed that on, something I got from my mom…well it was nice.

I heard the door and I knew right away that it was Trace. Having lived at Ava’s for at least a month it was now the first place everyone looked for me these days.

“It’s open!!!â€￾ I yelled hoping not to upset the baby too much.

“Dude where you at??â€￾ I heard him stamp through the apartment. “Bathroom,â€￾

As I saw his frame come through the door he instantly smiled when he saw his “nieceâ€￾ well he wasn’t legally my brother, but he was so damn close to it that no one cared. We were after all brothers from different mothers. J

“So, I just got off the phone with ‘Lisha who said she needed to talk…that’s never good man.â€￾

“So you hung up on her?â€￾ I laughed, wiping down my baby's curls with a cloth. How she managed to get banana in there i'll never know.

“No you idiot…when she gets home from the set…â€￾
“And ?â€￾ I tried to continue his conversation. “Well…we’ve been having a few issues im not really sure what to doâ€￾
“What kind of issues?â€￾ I lifted my angel out of her tiny bath, as he helped me wrap her in her enormous pink towel. “Well, Justin she said she wants a baby.â€￾
I swear I saw his face change color.

“And that’s a bad thing why?â€￾ I didn’t understand his hesitance; he was always the one who said he couldn’t wait for kids.

“I don’t know why? I mean I want kids I do really its just…â€￾ He trailed off as we entered the sitting room.

“Just what dude?â€￾

“Well I mean I don’t feel that we’re ready.â€￾ He blurted out.

Wow.

“Well Trace neither where Ava and I but somehow….we’re doing it. Have y’all talked about it?â€￾

“Yeah. Ages ago we said we’d wait at least a year….then we just sorta forgot about it, being so busy and all. But now? I mean she’s mad that I want to wait…I can’t help it!!!â€￾

“Have you told her you’re scared?â€￾ I asked, knowing he’d protest.

“I Am not scared!!â€￾ he shrugged a little. “Well, maybe I am…but look at you? I mean a little over a year ago I wouldn’t have seen you like this…ever…â€￾

At that I couldn’t help but smile. He was right. So much had changed since Ava got pregnant, since Jade was born…we all had.

“I know man, but I swear it is scary at first – but in time its all gets a little easier I swear! I mean after all the initial drama, its so worth it. I mean you get to see this little thing grow inside the woman you love. Then you get to see it. The little life that you both created. I mean yeah its overwhelming. But the plus’s totally out count the cons. And hey don’t tell anyone I said that. i mean I my love my daughter but I a’int no doctor Phil…â€￾


***


â€￾Elisha you have to tell him. I mean if you don’t then trust me you’ll regret it.â€￾
“Av’ I cant he says he’s not ready, what do I do? I can’t tell him now, he’s gone – “

“Gone?â€￾ I asked in confusion.

“To Justin’s…or your place im not sure…â€￾
“Are you excited?â€￾ I asked changing the tone that the conversation had taken, hoping I could cheer her up.
“YEAH!! I am, so much. I mean ive always wanted this and now? Well its happening I can’t believe it really. I just wish I knew what he was thinking before I told him.â€￾
I knew what she meant the fear is, paralyzing.

“Sweetie I think the best thing to do is to just tell him, and let him understand how you feel. Maybe it won’t be as bad as you think? And if it is you always know we’re here for you no matter what!!â€￾ I tried my best to pep before we said our good byes and I hung up.

Finally I was going home, I had another ‘fantastic’ day at the office, as you can imagine since j and I were becoming more and more high profile it didn’t precisely sit well with the dragons of the office. And it made working there a living nightmare.



Getting to the familiar steps that led up to my brownstone building that I loved so much I was met with Trace, on his way out.

“Hey?â€￾ He smiled.
“Hi…so how was your day? You and my fiancé lounging around as usual?â€￾ I laughed.

“Na, girl you know we are always busy…well he's always busy, you know what a mean.â€￾
“Yeah I do…Listen, are you and Elisha ok?â€￾ I was always one for saying what was on my mind, interfering or not.

“Uh…why?â€￾ he asked with that face that he knew I already knew.

“She called, she was really upset…â€￾
I saw his face drop, I knew how much she meant to him and he hated it when he made her sad.

“I didn’t mean to upset her like I did, I guess I couldn’t help it, she kept going on and on about great we’d be when we had kids and that she wanted them ASAP…I mean what the f*** Ava, it just came from nowhere.â€￾

As I noticed the tiny hallway becoming somewhat crowded I offer him a free cup of coffee if he accompanied me to the star bucks across the block.

Fortunately for me and his wife’s sanity he agreed.

We both took our seats by the window, I knowing full well that we’d been see – I didn’t really care at that point.

“Trace I know its weird I do. Believe me but I thought you wanted kids with her?â€￾
“I do, I really do. Or at least I thought I did, I mean I see her with AJ and I see how great she is. And there isn’t a doubt in my mind that she’d make a wonderful mother, but I guess I wonder how id be you know?â€￾
“Yeah…more than you know…Look Trace. When I got pregnant I was a wreck I didn’t know what to do for the best. I didn’t know what kind of mother id make, I figured id end up like my mom, and I really didn’t want that. But Justin was the one who comforted me, reassured me. I thought he had it all figured out – turns out he actually is a good actor...â€￾ I chuckled. “But my point is that we both were as scared as each other. No one has a manual for these things, no one. Look at us, we haven’t a clue. But we do it. And because we have a wonderful support system – you guys. And you and Lish will always have us…â€￾ I was feeling pretty good about my pep talking skills that day and glad when I could finally see that sly grin emerge on his face.

“I know your right, really you are. I just never thought about it that way before. Thanks Ava.â€￾ He smiled with embarrassment.

“Well your welcome…Anytime.â€￾





Turning the key in the door at almost 9 that night I had been finished work two hours and spent those talking some sense into Trace.

I was tired, I was in pain…my feet an the hell that was heels. I hated them.

“Honey im home!!â€￾ Id always wanted to say that.

“Hey,â€￾ I saw him check his watch as he sat at the desk in my room signing some papers “your home late. Bad day?â€￾ He smiled as he got up to welcome me. “No, I was just busy…I met trace, and we needed to talk.â€￾
At that he looked at me funny. It was understandable, he and I never were ones to talk. Let alone let it last for over ten minutes. “Yeah,â€￾ I continued “I met him outside and I knew what was up, so I tried to chat to him about it.â€￾
“Elisha?â€￾ He asked as I checked on the now slumbering baby in her crib.
“Yeah…if I tell you something, you can’t tell anyone.â€￾ I whispered as if someone might hear.

“What?â€￾ he grinned, almost aware but not quiet?
“She’s pregnant.â€￾ I smiled.

“Who?â€￾ God he was slow sometimes. “Elisha, dumbass who else? She’s a few weeks gone…she's having a baby!!â€￾ I exclaimed somewhat softly.

“No way…she said she was thinking about it, does he know?â€￾
“No but she said she's gonna tell him when he gets home, and since I talked with him. I think things will be ok!!â€￾

“Well I don’t know I mean he was here and pretty screwed up about it. He doesn’t know what to do for the best you know?â€￾

“Well so was I when I found out remember? He'll be okay. She's like you; she's excited enough for the both of them by now. And I know that he’ll be ok eventually.â€￾

***

As we entered December and got over the hoopla that was thanksgiving, Justin and I had been house hunting for a good few weeks when we thought for the first time that we could have found the place.

It was spacious of course; apparently that was must in his book.

It was a few miles out of the city. The area that surrounded the house itself was a good 20 acres. So much land and it was all secured off so that there wouldn’t be any problems with security.

It was a huge difference to the one that we lived in, on the hills’. We knew right away that it was a house that we could see ourselves in. It had a total of eight bedrooms. Too big in my opinion, but Justin was sure they wouldn’t stay empty for long….

The living rooms and dining room, these were large open planned rooms that I instantly could see filled with all our things, and the kitchen was not only twice the size of the one we had, but it had several appliances I didn’t even know existed. I was thrilled. And my attitude was welcomed from Justin, because more than anything he saw the 20 acres as one “kick ass golf courseâ€￾ well he was set.

And I guess so was I.

After three years and a bit, various ups and down…and a baby. We the most backwards couple in the entire world were after a long wait, moving in together - officially.

Finally.



“So I got a call today?â€￾ I started off as we loaded various boxes into the house.

“Oh yeah? From who?â€￾ as perspiring but hot looking Justin asked as we hauled them into the basement. For use as we packed up after Christmas.

“My mum…and dad.â€￾
“Huh?â€￾

“Yeah that’s what I thought. Well apparently since my visit. They’ve started getting along. Even my mom and dads wife. Bizarre huh?â€￾
“Well, yeah…what they say.â€￾
“They wanna visit…â€￾ I trailed off.

“Oh…â€￾ I saw his face, the surprise – and maybe a little fear.

“They want to come for Christmas. They said they don’t want to miss the baby’s first. And I said id talk it over with you first? So what do you think…I mean I know you haven’t met him yet, but he's a nice guy….nothing like my mom?â€￾

“Of course I don’t mind…you know what I was thinking anyway.â€￾
“What?â€￾ I asked finally sitting down on one of the dusty steps.

“Maybe we should get out of LA for Christmas; I was thinking the house in Hawaii. I mean we haven’t used it and I was thinking that we all could go. Make a thing out of it.â€￾
“All?â€￾ I asked in confusion.
“Yeah the families…mine, yours, Trace, Elisha. I mean I know it’s a bit much but I think we need to get away, and since I’m on break…and your…well miserable at your job…â€￾ he smiled “ I think we should take it, and just all club together and make it a thingâ€￾ I knew it was a topic he had just though of because he clearly hadn’t thought of all the problems that it could and knowing us, would bring.

“Well I mean that is a whole lot of people, I know that house was big…but…â€￾

“But…if we all cooked and all teamed together I think we could do it…and it would be fun?â€￾ he smirked, knowing how hesitant I was about it.

“Well?â€￾ He insisted on an answer right then and there. So I did what I always did when he looked at me that certain special way, I gave in.

“Ok? If everyone agrees then, I think I’d be fine with it?â€￾



Well as it turns out, everyone wasn’t exactly dreading a Christmas in a tropical paradise. Funny huh?
Her mom, her dad – and I guess what you could call her step mom. All agreed. My family was stoked. They hadn’t seen the house in Hawaii either, so they were on board. The only other people that were needed where Trace and Elisha. In addition, Paige and John. However, the latter couple were hardly around to be asked.

Apparently according to Ava, they were completely on course for marriage, all I saw where two people in love and now living together some place off the edge of New York City. According to John, he needed to get Paige back to some real people. And I can’t say I blame him. LA was incredibly false if you looked long and hard at it. And that made me think – was this really a place for raising kids?

“Ava ive been thinking…â€￾ I stated off one night mid – dinner.

“Ouch, did it hurt?â€￾ she smiled…
“Girl I swear you can dress you up but you cant change you…â€￾I made reference to her corporate suit that she wore in the same style to that hell hole of an office, as she called it.

“Yeah I know. I will always and forever be the girl in her pink and sparkly pajamas! Im sorry you said you were thinking?â€￾

“Well yeah, I mean long term about LA? I mean you’ve seen what goes on here. Do you think this is a place for kids?â€￾
“Raising them you mean?â€￾ she continued.

“Yes…â€￾

“Well, I don’t know… I mean I was raised in such a different atmosphere, such a sheltered, country life and coming here…Well it was a huge change.â€￾
“See that’s what I was thinking. I mean you and I come from similar childhoods, similar backgrounds you know? We had our childhood in a country. I don’t know if I would know how to raise a kid here? I mean the dangers are different.â€￾

I wasn’t really sure where I was going with this, but I knew she was listening completely. She was interested, like she had been thinking the same thing.

“Well I mean, yeah…. But… I don’t know, what are you getting at J?â€￾

As I cleared my throat, and my plate from the table she followed me to the kitchen. “ I don’t even know, I just really don’t like the idea of raising our daughter here, like this…with so much sin just readily available at such a young age, I don’t think its healthy.â€￾

“That’s true, “she concurred leaning on the sink. “I mean you see those other rock stars daughters just go down the drain…so young it makes you think…â€￾
“so? What are you thinking?â€￾

“I think we should get out of LA….â€￾
“Exactly what I was thinking…â€￾ I smiled at our great minds thinking alike…

“J…â€￾ she trailed off rolling her eyes at me as she smiled. “Who are we kidding…your whole career is based here…we couldn’t just ‘move’ to somewhere in the middle of nowhere.â€￾

“Yeah we could…â€￾ I insisted. “We could…â€￾

“Ok?â€￾ she had that tone that ‘prove me wrong tone’ that I knew I had to beat. “Where? Where could we go that would allow us to live peacefully – keep the baby save for as long as possible, and keep your career in check?â€￾
Was it weird that she never mentioned her own career here?
“Memphis…â€￾ I suggested.

“Are you kidding?â€￾
“No… I mean…well I grew up just fine there, and always said you loved it…so.â€￾
“So??…Justin. Are you crazy? I couldn’t survive there. Not 365 days a year…â€￾
“why?â€￾ I asked, trying really hard not to show my upset and insult.

“ its way too laid back baby…im a city girl now weather I like it or not…and so are you, you love LA usually…its just superficial enough for the both of us, you know that.â€￾





She was right in that aspect it was perfect for us, we loved to party but we loved each other and here we had the best of both worlds.

“What about the baby? What about when she gets older, when she goes to parties at 15, has sex does drugs and gets hooked and pregnant??? What then?â€￾ I was talking so fast I wasn’t even sure I had said what I thought.

“Justin, they do those things in Memphis too you know…â€￾ she laughed. Before she came over and wrapped her arms around me. In that mothering way she did that made everything she said seem smart.

“Look we will be better parents than those others; you and I aren’t like the LA clones around here. And where we are moving, it’s so much quieter and way out of the city. I scoped it out you know? When you were off planning your golf course with Trace. They have schools, top schools near by…rated hospitals…everything. We’re gonna be okay, AJ is gonna be all right.â€￾

“You think?â€￾ I asked humbly.

“No I know!â€￾







“So whats up with you and Mr. Mayer anyway?â€￾ I asked Paige, who at that stage had become long lost she had been in New York so damn long.

“I love him…I mean I really love that man, its scary!â€￾ she all but squealed.

“I know you do, I don’t know of any other guy who could get you to move from your mom and dads!â€￾
“Yeah that was a sweet deal, free room and board, with the judgment thrown in for the hell of it. I like it now, im my own person I don’t answer to anyone, and he and I are free to do what we want when we want…I love it actually.â€￾
“Im glad…â€￾ I answered truthfully, I had always wanted her find what I had found, and not known it. The love of her life – and from the sounds of things he was a definite contender!

“So are you coming in two weeks? Hawaii? Girl you better be there!â€￾

“Ooh I will be, I saw the pictures of that palace girl, you better believe ill be there! What should I bring?â€￾
“Uhh…nothing I don’t think…Justin said he’d take care of it…lord knows what that means.â€￾

“So...Hey how’s Elisha?â€￾ I knew the conversation would move to her eventually. Another friend I saw less of in the last few weeks, well I of all people knew how ‘morning sickness’ had the nasty habit of lasting all day during the first two months.

“She's…miserable. I mean she's really happy about being pregnant an all, but the sickness is really getting’ to her, I try and cheer her up, as does Trace…but I think we just need to let her deal.â€￾

“Are they coming for Christmas?â€￾
“Sure are…as are my mom, dad, step mom…â€￾ at that, she burst out laughing.

“Wow, who lost the bet girl?â€￾

“No one, I invited them…â€￾
“Huh?â€￾
“I know, possibly the dumbest thing ever, but they swear they get along now. So I guess im just hoping on some holiday spirit.â€￾

“Aren’t you forgetting Christmas two years ago, when you put your mom and lynn in the same room…oi…â€￾ she sighed off the line as I heard her shuffle in the back ground…

“girl what are you doin’?â€￾

“Oh…Nothin’â€￾ again I heard the shuffling.

“Paige if im keeping you then I can call back later…â€￾ I still wondered what she was doing.

“Aw there…â€￾ I heard her say.

“What?â€￾

“Oh…I found my pink bra…I cant think how it got stuck down the side of the sink…â€￾





I couldn’t help but laugh at the constant changes our fifthteen minute conversation had taken “well that’s nice, listen I gotta go girl. Call me later ok?â€￾
“I will, hug AJ for me?â€￾

“Will do!â€￾

The reason I had halted the call was the fact that Justin was practically dancing in front of my face.

“Whats up with you?â€￾

“Well funny you should ask Ms Mc Donald, because I your wonderfully talented and extremely sexy fiancé has managed to book a private jet to take us all to Hawaii for Christmas, see how you mom likes that!â€￾ he all but sblacked.

“Isn’t that a little much baby? I mean id be fine with – “
“no I know, but come on! I mean she's still weary of me, and since ive never met your dad I want to make a good impression, I want him to know that im taking care of you….that’s all.â€￾

I could have kissed the stupid out of him at that second.

“j, he'll love you no matter what, he knows how happy I am with you, and no amount of flashin’ your cash is gonna change what he thinks of you….he may even think it’s a bit ott.â€￾ I teased.

“ you think?â€￾

“no, but I think the size of not only this house but the one in Hawaii, the way we are and the way you are with Jade, I think…No I know that, that is all any of them should need.â€￾
he was still silent…. “Really?â€￾
“No you ass, they are not all as shallow as us… I hope. Look they see you love me, that’s all that should matter – trust me. My dad isn’t like my mom. He's chilled. So don’t worry!â€￾

He seemed to relax a little at that. Thank god, I knew that meeting my new family was a big deal for him, hell it would be for me too, id only ever spoken to my dad’s wife on the phone and it wasn’t like it was some drawn out conversation either. We were both nervous, and I think we had the right

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Postby whatchagot4meMRJT » Thu Aug 18, 2005 9:32 am

:dance: :party: :dance: :party: Everybody chillin' in Hawaii. That's gonna be freakin' sweet. But you just know somebody's going to get into a fight. It always happens at the holidays. :lol:

Yay for Elisha and Trace. I'm scared for that dude to be a dad, but Justin can school him in the ways of fatherhood. That ought to be a sight to see. Trace can share his clothes with the baby. :rofl:

I don't even want to know how I lost a bra beside the sink. :huh: :rofl: But it's pink, so that's all that matters. ^_^

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Postby laura » Tue Aug 23, 2005 10:27 am

<span style='color:purple'>just for visual effects : the house in hawaii malibu-locations.com/pics/mansions/1/yaghtinfrntcover216.jpghere!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! pretty huh! LOL

http://img398.imageshack.us/my.php?image=16ba2.jpgAva!

http://p099.ezboard.com/fjjboardpictures.showMessage?topicID=37077.topicJustin : any excuse i know!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!</span>

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Postby laura » Wed Aug 24, 2005 7:35 am

<span style='color:gray'>
well! ever close but yet so far...and all a that inspiring stuff...i love this chapter its small but it has a big purpose! like it love it hate it.....just read it! :+)</span>


<span style='color:hotpink'>A week before we were due to be invaded by everyone for Christmas, we decided to box up a few personal items and bring them to the new house in Hawaii, I mean we were gonna be there for two weeks, and we needed to make it as homely as possible.

So Ava and I arranged with my mom to look after the baby as we headed on down first, to get things in order and get everything ready for everyone.

Since the house was situated out in the middle of the island on a private structure that was like mini island in it self we had to be transported on and off it by boat. That too came standard with the house and grounds.

“Justin I forgot how amazing it is here…â€￾ I heard Ava gasp as we got off the boat and was helped to the house via a golf cart – well it was a long driveway, and we had six boxes.

Boxes of things I had no idea about. Ava reassured me that it would make it ‘ours’ and the personal touches would make it homely.

As we reached the house I could see the gleam in her eyes get bigger, her eyes seemed extra green that day, so full of happiness.

“Omygod! She laughed as we stepped through the entrance hall and looked up at the huge staircase, and entrance to the other rooms.

<span style='font-size:8pt;line-height:100%'>I've seen your face a thousand times
Have all your stories memorized
</span>



The marbled floors carried all the way through the house, and it was all secured with long windows and huge doors. I think it was safe to say this house was all about excess. In addition, we loved it!

“oh god, A.j’s pictures would look sooo adorable here, and thereâ€￾ she pointed to the fireplace in one of the living rooms “we could put the big ass Christmas Wreath….OH and the Christmas tree, sh** Justin –“ I followed her voice from one room to the next as I popped my head around to see her in awe, again.

“Yeah Babe?â€￾

“Do they even have Christmas trees in Hawaii?â€￾ I couldn’t help but laugh, Ava as smart as she was when she got excited her IQ fell significantly. It was one of the endearing things I loved about her. Of which there were many.

“Uh im sure we could arrange it if they don’t, but im sure they do! Ill just check that…â€￾ I motioned for my phone as she explored the rest of the house.

***

I really could not believe it. This house was ours…or as Justin liked to keep reminding me – mine?

It was a true masterpiece of a house, I had heard when we came here the first time that it had been built in the 1920’s. Some billionaire eccentric executive built it for his wife as a wedding present, they married in the grounds before there was a house and then she decided she didn’t want to leave it. Therefore, he built her the house.

That had always struck me as the most romantic thing, and here was Justin giving it to me. Funny huh?

<span style='font-size:8pt;line-height:100%'>I've kissed your lips a million ways
But I still love to have you around

I've held you too many times to count
</span>

As I walked into the south wing of the house (that’s right it had ‘wings’) and as creepy as sounded it didn’t have that castle vibe. The way it was decorated was extremely homely and with our things in it, it would be fine in no time.

I found the room that was ‘our’ room the last time Justin and I stayed there; it was weird how things changed so drastically after that holiday. I mean it was BECAUSE of that holiday that things changed, Aj was conceived in that room. I however was hoping that the conceiving would wait on this trip…

“Reliving happy memories huh?â€￾ I heard him sneak up on me as he snaked his arms around my stomach from behind.

“Yeah something like that…â€￾
â€￾Well you know, the dude with the Christmas trees isn’t going to be here for like an hour…â€￾ he suggested “ i'm sure that bed wouldn’t mind a few more happy memories…â€￾ he added before kissing my neck sending shivers don’t my spine.

“Uh id love to, but we have so much to do before we leave on Sunday, I want this place perfect….â€￾
â€￾It is perfect….your standing in it.â€￾ He grinned bashfully.

See it was things like that, that made me fall in love with him all over again.

“Baby…â€￾ I rhymed “you are way to much…I love you too.â€￾ That made him smile even wider.

<span style='font-size:8pt;line-height:100%'>I think I know you inside out</span>



“So since you love me an all.â€￾ I knew by the playful tone not to take whatever he said seriously. “You wouldn’t mind…â€￾ he walked over to the bed and patted the mattress, sending me into fits of laughter….

“Im not kiddin’ here girl….get over here!â€￾ he grabbed me tossing me over to where he wanted me, landing shortly afterwards on top of me, I all the while laughing at the top of my lungs.

***

The two day trip to Hawaii had gone as planned, we had everything set up, rooms where all aired out decorations where up, trees where in all the places she wanted them and the fridge would be stocked when we returned. And get this, we had a maid, one that came with the house. And after Ava lectured me, as to how it was “immoralâ€￾ and “chauvinistic “ having a “servantâ€￾ I reassured her we would need it. And I think this time I won, which never happens any more – she's usually right on everything, and even if she isn’t she'll argue and/or with hold sex until you tell her she is. But, this time, ha I won!

As we packed what we weren’t using to put away she was unusually quiet, “You ok Av?â€￾

“Me? Yup im great actually.â€￾ She smiled a toothy smile before returning to tape up the boxes.

â€￾Whats on your mind then, you’ve been way to quiet.â€￾ I probed, hoping shed answer a little deeper this time.

<span style='font-size:8pt;line-height:100%'>And we're together most days
But I still love to have you around
</span>

â€￾Well actually ive been thinking, and I – “something stopped her, “oh never mind.
Forget I said anything.â€￾

Yeah like that was gonna happen….

â€￾Ava, come on what is it…â€￾


“Well I was thinking, and it was just toootally random here but, what if we got married – here at the house, I mean look - it’s the most beautiful place, and the gardens are so fantastic and we have all our family coming any way… I mean wouldn’t it be perfect?â€￾

I had to admit the thought had crossed my mind, but I never expected it to cross hers. Since we got back on track, I had avoided all talk of marriage, since I figured I was scaring her off it. Mom always said to give her space to come on her own, and it looked like she had arrived. Suddenly.
<span style='font-size:8pt;line-height:100%'>
You're the one I want and it's not just phase</span>


“Are you sure sweetheart I mean its in 6 days, everyone will be here in 6 days, a wedding?â€￾ I scratched my growing curls, wondering – could we pull it off.

“Well? I know its crazy, but think about it – if we could pull it off, J? No press no nothing!â€￾

She did have a very good point in the plus box of this sudden idea of hers. But I had to ask,

“Baby, what brought this on? I mean I thought you weren’t sure, what changed?â€￾

“Everything,â€￾ she simply answered “I did, you did…but somehow I find myself in love
you more than I thought possible. Justin, I want to be your wife, I want to be your
everything.â€￾ I knew by the overly sentimental tone and the tears in her eyes that this
wasn’t just something that had been thought up in a second – this had been on her mind.

â€￾ You know that’s what I want; more than anything…are you sure?â€￾ I beamed, loving the idea more with each second that passed.

“I am…surer than anything in my whole life…I am!â€￾ with the same gleam of excitement in her tone I was sure, it matched mine as we established, in six days we would be ready. Ready to get married.

<span style='font-size:8pt;line-height:100%'>You're the one I trust, our love is the real thing</span>

Lyrics : Gwen Stefani - The Real Thing LAMB!


*****************************************************************************</span>

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Postby whatchagot4meMRJT » Thu Aug 25, 2005 8:42 am

Aww! That house is so beautiful and they're gonna get married. :wub: :wub: I think that would be perfect. :nod: I love how in love they are with one another. :D

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Postby laura » Mon Aug 29, 2005 8:36 am

ok, this one is mainly a "filler" well, in my head any way.... but after this its on to bigger things....... *I hope?* :lol: enjoy! :)





<span style='color:dodgerblue'>Getting back to LA we agreed that we wouldn’t tell anyone until we got to Hawaii again. We did however have a few things we needed to do. Shopping for rings for example.

I knew Justin had mine all thought out in his head, since he purposed he had been asking various questions as to what I wanted in a ring that id wear forever – apparently it was a big deal.

So that freaked me out. Since we were nearing Christmas, we had the ideal excuse to shop, not only for gifts, but also for each other’s life bands.

I was overly excited about the fact in a week, id be Mrs Justin Timberlake. I mean think about it, id be the only woman in the world who could officially wear that dumb t-shirt!

Since my engagement ring and the one I then got him matched in that they where platinum silver. I needed a stylish timeless ring to go with that. I knew I wanted it engraved. Something special.

***

“Ava, you know…after the wedding and we move in to the new place and all..?â€￾ I mused.

“What about it?â€￾

“I just well im hoping that we can do this. I mean I know I want to and you want to… and I love you and you love me…â€￾ I blathered. “But I don’t want to be one of those husbands in a few years that works too much, drinks too much and basically avoids his life…I want to be a good husband. Like Paul is to my mom…Its like, after all this time they’re still close. Am I making sense?â€￾

She smiled, so I guess I was.

“Perfect sense… I know exactly what you mean. I know it’s the last thing I want… I love that you and I are close. That we bond…that we are us. I positively don’t want to be one of those wife’s that avoids her children, husband and life to go get her weekly botox and meet with the yard boy for a quick roll around every few days…â€￾ she began to ramble too. “No way… I love you.â€￾

I knew that. But again it was still amazing to hear and know that she truly meant it.

“I love you too…â€￾ I smiled sappily “So, hey how does it feel to be the future Mrs Timberlake?â€￾ God I loved that idea.

“It feels…pretty damn excellentâ€￾ she giggled. “Really I can’t believe it. We are doin’ this. For real…â€￾

yeah after all we’d been through it seemed like the easiest of notions, but getting here was just so damn difficult. But each step was worth it all, I wouldn’t have changed a thing.



***
Keeping things from Trace was never my strong point, this was no exception. But since he was pre-occupied with Elisha and baby stuff, even though the girl wasn’t even showing yet – he was totally freaking out about what they’d need.

So some ‘last minute’ shopping for jewellery wasn’t unusual for us. It worked for all occasions. But this time it was different.

“So man have you decided what you’re getting Ava? Cause im confused! Lish has been so damn moody these last few days, I swear! I mean I thought the getting away for the holidays would help, but nope! She's still like a bull in a freakin’ woman’s health clinicâ€￾

I swear I worry about what he thinks of sometimes.

“Well im sure once she gets away she’ll be fine!â€￾ I reassured as I casually

waited for my custom-made ring, that I was assured would only take a few hours – and that was yesterday. Funny what having a famous name does isn’t it?

“What are you picking up any way…â€￾ he asked looking at the box the man had just handed to me.

“Is it engraved like I asked?â€￾

â€￾Uh yes sir, just under the rim like you asked.â€￾

I opened the box, knowing Trace would catch on right away.

â€￾Dude that isn’t what I think it is, is it?â€￾

â€￾It sure is!â€￾ I beamed. “Thank you…â€￾ I acknowledged the clerk and ignored
the astonishment in my friends face.



I carried the box and the bag it was held in close to me as we exited the
shop.


“Justin what are you up to!â€￾ He demanded, as I continued to ignore him until we got to the jeep.

“Dude…answer me!â€￾

“Trace, look what was it?â€￾

“A wedding ring…â€￾ he answered moodily

“Ahuh, so what do you suppose that means?â€￾ I gave him my best ‘duh’ look
before I continued. “Ava and I are planning on doing it, in Hawaii.â€￾

His eyes spread open until I was sure they would pop out of the sockets.



“You’re kidding me, how long have you too planned this…â€￾

“we didn’t “I answered honestly “she suggested in when we went to check

out the house. We agreed to surprise everyone when we all arrived. So you
cannot tell. I don’t know if Ava’s planning on telling anyone yet, hell I wasn’t
even supposed to tell you, but promise me?â€￾



“Oh, yeah man whatever you want. I just can’t believe it, I mean y’all are
gonna be MARRIED, that’s – huge!â€￾



He was right it was, it was scary, and it was insane. It was so right.


For some people, and maybe I should have been one of them – spending
the rest of your life with just one person, was – unthinkable.



I knew if I wanted to I could cheat, I could lie and deceive. But I didn’t want
to, I didn’t need to. I had everything I ever wanted in a woman all wrapped
up in Ava. She was sweet, but she wasn’t a push over she was strong and
held her ground and her beliefs. She was considerate and caring but she
wasn’t overly soft.

She was smart, we had arguments over things I had never thought I cared about until I met her. She forced me to sit up and take
note of my life, she improved it ten fold. She challenged me everyday, and
for that, I would always be thankful.


****

“Elisha, do you think the idea of pastel pink would work on you and Paige?â€￾ I asked as my friend sat on the other side of the bathroom door, more than likely suffering the effects of morning sickness.

As I heard, the door unlock my equally colourless and tired looking friend

came out, “what for Av?â€￾

“Uhh Nothin’, I was just wondering, do you like that colour…â€￾

“I guess, why?â€￾

“ Never mind…hey im sorry honey but I have to run, I have a few things to pick up… ill be back in a few hours, and hey if your feeling better maybe we could go for something to eat?â€￾

“Sure, I think that’s my limit for today anyway…â€￾ she attempted a weak smile as I hugged her and strutted out the door, to be met down the side of her driveway by the paparazzi – Damnit.

Nevertheless, did my best to avoid them, to avoid being followed. I made my checkpoints in the various places, I had a design in mind for my wedding dress – it was simple, and since I knew the designer personally, I had drifted a few clients her way on more than one award season. She agreed to make and do whatever I needed, in warp speed. Timberlake isn’t the only one with connections.

So having left all the measurement with her, I was guaranteed I would be able to make a pick up for two bridesmaids’ dresses in all light material designed for free movement and to with stand all the heart, and all the necessary items as well as one kick ass wedding dress.

It had killed me not telling them. They had become my best friends here and they practically knew everything about me, except this.

Since I had told my dad as well as everyone else to pack something semi-formal, the suspicion had been raised. But not entirely. Thank God.

Justin and I agreed on a semi- formal wedding. We wanted to look the part, but not so much that it was stuffy. Since it was Hawaii after all the weather had to be taken into deliberation.

Justin had decided that we would be better to go bare foot, since the section of the extensive ‘garden’, we had chosen was covered in hot soft white sand.

He had decided on white as well, going for a casual linen trouser and an open shirt, over a somewhat smart t-shirt. I knew the only reason he suggested no footwear is because he hates wearing “real shoesâ€￾ and he knows I would not allow trainers!



Before we left for LA, we arranged for the local florists to have the garden all set up with various arrangements of pink, white, and baby multicoloured roses.

It took all of two days to arrange the attire; everything else we both knew wouldn’t take long. Since it was a small, very small wedding, with just the people we cared about being there we knew not much else was required.



“Baby?â€￾

“Yeah,â€￾ I answered his call as I dressed Aj for the third time that day, seemly everything I had put on her she thought it would be fun to throw up on…

“You know some people are gonna be mad that we didn’t invite them….â€￾ I heard him from the en-suite bathroom as he shaved.

“I know, but Justin, its happening four days from Christmas day im sure those people have families to be getting to then.â€￾

“ I know,â€￾ I heard the mumble as I picked up the giggling baby and made my way to face him.

“J… Who are we talkin about here?â€￾ I asked as he washed the foam from his face, dried it and motioned to pick up the baby from me, all the while smiling at her as she gazed up at him.

“The guys mainly. I mean I know we don’t see each other as much any more, but… I grew up with those guys Ava and I always thought they would be at my wedding one day.â€￾ He answered me solemnly.

“Well… invite them then.â€￾

“Really?â€￾

“Yeah, look I love all of them, I do! So id have no problem with it. Just say
it’s for a party, and that I wanted them there too. And if they refuse, tell
them how important it is to you….ok?â€￾

As he messed with A.j’s rapidly growing curls she smiled at him touching his now shaven face with her tiny hand.

“what if they still say no, Av’ it really hurt them when I didn’t want to go back, I mean other than JC, I haven’t had a conversation with one of them in almost a year….â€￾

I knew all this; I also knew how hard he took it when they basically wrote him off.

“I know baby, I know. But you’re you, and you’re strong…â€￾ I

encouraged. “And if they say no, they aren’t the men you give them credit for.â€￾







With it agreed that his mom and dad, his grandparents, Paige and John, Trace and Elisha, mom. Lucia and my dad and J and I would be in Hawaii in three days, the wedding being at least two days after we arrived. We knew we were running out of room for people to stay.

But Justin had asked the guys if they would be able to make the trip, as it was something special – they all agreed, all but lance that was. He was in Russia again, and well couldn’t be reached.




“So what time did they say they’d be here?â€￾ I asked her as she paced the floor, straightening everything in her path.

“Ava?â€￾

“What?â€￾



“What time do they all get here?â€￾ I asked her again…

“In ten minutes, which means another twenty if Eric gets to them on time.â€￾


“Honey, you really have to chill ok? You’re making me more nervous….â€￾

“I know im sorry, it’s just. Ive never met his wife, what if she hates me!â€￾

“She wont, she’ll love youâ€￾ I tried to reassure her, also trying to hide the
nerves I was feeling myself. I hadn’t met her father yet either. I mean what
if he hated me, warned Ava off me, and didn’t allow her to marry me – see
this is what was floating through my head at that moment.



“Ok, is everything ready for dinner? I mean Aj she’s been changed an all

right?â€￾ she asked again plumping the cushions on the couches. I had to
intervene the madness and the Monica she was channelling at that second.

So grabbing her arms I forced her to sit.



“Sweetie, breathe. Everything is going to be fine “I hoped “ I promise you, it wont be like last time, I mean ill avoid your mom if needs be…but everyone will get along, if it kills them they will!â€￾

Her apprehension seemed to somewhat dissipate after that, she smiled up at me, and thanked me. She didn’t need to but she did.

“Ok, well then. I think I can do this…â€￾ I raised my eyebrow at her, knowing

she could do better.

“Ok, ok I know I can do this…â€￾

“See, that’s the spirit…â€￾ I laughed at her as she stuck her tongue out at me in badness.



At a little after nine when the buzzer at the gates went off, and I knew it had to be them. I tried not to panic, I really did. But just the thought of everyone in the same room. Well suddenly, my bright idea was becoming very stupid!



I saw the car drive up the driveway, on the CCTV. I saw my mother first to get out then my dad and his wife. She was smaller than I expected. She was dark haired and she seemed plesant.

My mother had never been to Justin’s place after all the renovations that we did to it. So it was understandable that she was nosing about.

I heard the doorbell ring through out the house and Justin came sprinting from the kitchen.

“sh**…do I look ok?â€￾ I saw him panic and I knew we were in the one boat, so I could do nothing but laugh.

“Come onâ€￾ I motioned to the door, fixing a smile on my face as I opened and the array of “hellosâ€￾ met us both. As Justin waved Eric on. He came in behind all the people that had motioned to hug me.

As my mom passed, my dad took his turn lifting me off the ground in the process.

“Ava, this is Lucia my wife…â€￾ she extended her hand I took it, and pulled her into a friendly hug… “Im not your boss, don’t shake my hand! It’s nice to meet you finally…â€￾

I saw Justin stand somewhat awkwardly behind us. I knew he was giving me the space, but I needed him at my side.
â€￾ well, Daddy, Lucia… this is Justin, Justin this is my –“at that my father in his daunting presence walked to Justin and shook his hand…

“We’re manly men, we don’t hug,â€￾ he joked, instantly making Justin smile. “It’s a pleasure to finally meet you sir.â€￾ Justin added.

“Sir? Hear that Ava, this boy was raised right…I like him already.â€￾

“Mum…â€￾ I finally got her again, as she was simply watching all the interactions.

“Hi honey…how are you…â€￾ she asked looking me over as if for some sign of injury.

“Im, great…you?â€￾

“Cant complain…â€￾ yes it was awkward, since our last conversation hadn’t ended nicely when I left Ireland, and well our phone calls weren’t exactly warm and fuzzy either.

â€￾ so Ava, Justin this is a beautiful home you both have here. “Lucia’s timid voice came into the equation.

“Oh well this is mostly Justin’s handy work, but yeah thank you.â€￾ I added as I told them to come in, sit down.

I walked with my dad who was fascinated by the size of the over the top TV.

Saying that if could have sunk the titanic if, it wanted to it was so wide. I noticed my mother walking with Justin as we came to the kitchen. I felt everyone should know where everything was, one night was one night but who knew what he or she might need.

“So Ava where is that grand daughter of mine.â€￾ My mother spoke up.

“She’s asleep, but she’s due a feed in about an hour so who ever wants to, feel free!â€￾ I noticed them all scoping out the digs. Like I knew they would. Well everyone is curious right?

I saw my mother notice all the pictures of Justin and me, and she actually smiled at the goofy ones, the ones he tries to hide. Us doing the tourist thing in NYC with the I heart New York t- shirts on making faces at the statue of liberty. On the empire state building….and in the Grand Canyon. It was funny; most of those where taken the year we took “off “to travel after we got engaged.

That was quiet possibly one of the best years of my life. We were free and commitment to anything other than each other was outdated – to us anyway, wasn’t it strange how tumbled things got only to tumble back even better than before.

“You ok J?â€￾ I asked as I sneaked a moment alone with him as I exited the

kitchen and he entered.

“Yeah I am actually. Your dad seems like a really good guy, and hey your mom hasn’t cussed me out yet so the nights fine!â€￾ he smiled crossing his fingers, while kissing me on the cheek.

“Well that’s all good then…Im just gonna check on the baby…â€￾

“Sure thing, hey if she’s awake, bring her down…I think they’re all dying to see her!â€￾

I made my way upstairs, and into our bedroom where she slept most of the time. Having her room so far away didn’t make sense when she was up and down three times a night. But as I walked in, I noticed someone else there too.

“Mum? Is everything ok?â€￾ I walked into the dim lit room to find her holding a wide-awake Aj. Who was smiling at her granny?

“No everything’s fine. I just wanted a moment alone with her that’s all.â€￾ If I wasn’t mistaken I could have sworn she'd been crying, my mom not the baby that is.

“Are you sure…â€￾ I asked again coming into the baby’s view, she giggled as she saw me.

“I am. It’s just…ive missed so much with this little one Ava…â€￾ she grinned tightly, playing with A.j’s curls. “I wish…just wish you’d come home more often than once a year….â€￾
â€￾Mom, please don’t start again, I knew you’d do this…look I want this trip to be different, you promised you’d try!â€￾

“I am, but do you think this is easy for me Ava? I mean look at you….your a grown woman, you have this whole life im not a part of, you’re a mother to a child that doesn’t know me…her own grandmother….and your, boyfriend “ she paused as I glared at her, knowing she knew better “ fine your fiancé then. He hates me, and his family thinks im the wicked witch of the west….â€￾ I heard more emotion in her voice in that 30 seconds that I had all my life.

“Mum – “

“No, I mean I understand… when I was your age, I was more concerned on a career, so I left you with your dad as a baby. I knew that’s why you were so attached to him. I missed out on you at this age,â€￾ she hugged the baby again, “And I knew when your dad went that you'd blame me… but I thought if he was gone for good you'd bond with me,

but you didn’t. In fact you couldn’t stand me could you?â€￾ she paced the room and every time I made a move to interrupt, she stopped me. “I drove you away, I know that now. And when I saw how happy you where here without me, well it killed me Ava, it really did. I mean that you'd rather be with them than me….it hurt.â€￾ She finally stopped, sighing and wiping what I thought were tears.

“Mum, it wasn’t that I couldn’t stand you…it was just, you were so – possessive of me, I was smothering.

And for the longest time, I blamed myself for daddy leaving. I saw how miserable you were and I thought I was the cause of that. I always thought…â€￾ I moved to sit with her on the bed.

“Mum, I love you…I do. You are my mother and you raised me so well. I knew you loved me, I did. But I also knew that you just weren't sure how to show me that love. But hey, I turned out just fine. See"

I stood up showing myself off. “ I love you, but you just have to understand that you raised me to be a strong minded woman how knows her own mind…so you should know I don’t do anything I don’t want….and I wanted you here…

Mum, when we go to Hawaii, Justin and I are getting married.â€￾ I saw her look from the baby to me and back again.

“You are?â€￾

“Yes, no one knows. So don’t say anything. But ma, I needed you there. Because as much as we disagree on – well EVERYTHING. You’re my mother, and the only one I got.

Justin is just scared of you, can’t blame him really?

“I laughed. As did she.

“Look I get it, you worry I know that. But I am fine. He loves me, and I love him. I trust him and so should you. He's a good man.â€￾
She was silent for a second, and then it was clear, she was crying.

She nodded obviously trying to stop her tears.

“I know, I am so sorry. I know he is…that’s why I fought it!â€￾ she confessed. “ im sorry I doubted you – both! I see how happy you are, and it does me good. Then I see this little one. Who looks nothing like you can I just say….â€￾

“Wh-“

“But, “she stopped again, “Im sure ive have plenty of other grandchildren that will look just like you…â€￾ she smiled, finally.

“You mean it?â€￾ I asked this time holding back a unexpected amount of emotion.

“Yes, I mean it. I have faith in my daughter and as it goes. My new son.â€￾ Then she did something I cannot ever remember her doing. She leaned in and hugged me.



That night went over well, surprisingly. Everyone got along as if we actually had some kind of relationship. Justin and I both knew that keeping the secret

Was difficult, especially when it was something this good. But we knew in order to stop it from leaking no one, and we meant no one could know. He also didn’t know that I had told my mother – but she was different she knew no one in this country, who was she going to tell?

â€￾ You know what I can’t believe?â€￾ Justin spoke up as she switched off the TV, as I crawled into bed.

“Whats that?â€￾

“You and me, I mean look at what we've been through in just three years, can you imagine what the next 60 are gonna be like?â€￾ he laughed slightly pulling me into his embrace.

“I know, well hopefully they’ll be less active in the heartbreak department and more in the happy place we’re in now…â€￾ she pondered aloud.

“Yeahâ€￾ he sighed happily. “I mean I still can’t believe just how much we’ve changed, you know? And I don’t just mean as in getting older, and somewhat wiser. If someone had told me three years ago id be getting married, and have a daughter, well I would have laughed in their face!â€￾

“Me too – but I mean your glad right?â€￾ At that, he looked at her as if she was crazy, that look that she knew so well. “Well im just checking, I don’t want you to get cold feet on me and run!â€￾
“Never, you’re not going to get rid of me that easy!â€￾

That was the most comforting sentence she thought he had ever spoken to her.

***

Getting started the next day was difficult. They knew they could take the jet out anytime. But it was just getting everyone at the same place long enough in order to get it moving. The first thing on the agenda was the baby, she came first after all. Justin agreed to do that for me, getting her ready was always something he enjoyed. And as it goes, she enjoyed it too. She was like her momma; she was a daddy’s girl.

The reason I couldn’t attend to her was because I had to go into work. I was still under contract, so I had little choice. It being five days to Christmas, the firm was at over load. I knew Paige’s dad was off again which meant I was stuck with the ogre. That woman hated me, and I hated her as much if not more in return.

“Ava, your late – again.â€￾ She announced as I made my way to my desk.

“I know, im sorry traffic was a nightmare.â€￾ And Im leaving to get married in five hours b****!

“Well we have to talk, in my office if you please.â€￾ At that, second I felt like I was six years old being told off. Making my way to her office, I noticed the sets of eyes glaring at me, the gossip gang. Ugh!

“Is there a problem?â€￾ I asked as I took my seat.

“Ava, Ive noticed a severe lack of enthusiasm from you in these last few weeks. I know you have a very busy life with you being a celebrity’s girl and all, but it is no excuse for not doing your job!â€￾ she all but yelled at me.

“What? Im sorry but how can you say that. Ive been here all the time, when im on or not. Ive done my job, very damn well I might add.â€￾

“Look im aware that you have children, but its no – “

“I have a child, and she is not my excuse. Look if there has been a complaint id like to know about it. Which client was it that complained?â€￾ with the stress of knowing what she had waiting for her when she returned home and all she had to do here before she left, she knew her nerves weren’t going to hold out much longer.



<span style='font-size:8pt;line-height:100%'>What you want baby ive got it, what you need you know I got it</span>


“Well it wasn’t a client; it was more the ladies in the office Ava, you know we all work as a team here. And there has been more than a few mentions of you not being a team player as such.â€￾ She grinned arrogantly.

She couldn’t honestly understand what the hell was going on. She’d been ratted out by the workers?

“ I see… look, I understand that gossip around here is like air. I do. But just because I have a somewhat high profile relationship doesn’t mean my work suffers. I have extremely good reviews and recommendations from every client that I have represented! So unless there is any real problem I have work to be getting on with.â€￾

<span style='font-size:8pt;line-height:100%'>All am asking is for a little respect, just a little bit.</span>


As she went for the door, she was stopped by the grunt in the corner. It was like a sblack but not much.

“Is there a problem?â€￾

With that, the dragon stood up and slammed a large bunch of magazines on her desk.

“I think semi- high profile is a little of an understatement don’t you Ava.â€￾

I glance at the stack on her desk. She had a point. Every magazine imaginable was on that desk. Each one of them with her and Justin on the cover.

“Star, national enquirer, heat, new, US,â€￾ all of them and more staring her in the face with some ridiculous lie in each one.



I a’int gonna do you wrong, while your gone
<span style='font-size:8pt;line-height:100%'>
I a’int gonna do you wrong ‘Cuz am a woman</span>




“Look this isn’t my doing ok? It just happens – “

“When your dating the number one artist in the country. Look I think it is sweet that you both think what you do does not affect any one else, and maybe you even kid your self into thinking that you can have a normal life. But like those women outside,

and I live in the real world sweetheart, and if you’re going to come here flaunting your lifestyle, I think it’s a little vindictive don’t you?â€￾

Was this woman high? I had never ever done that. Even when I wanted to.

“Is that what you’ve been told?â€￾ I asked her as if she was kidding.

“Its what I know dear.â€￾

And that was the last smug, self-serving comment that woman would make. It snapped her that she was so high and mighty – she was only a stand-in.

“I see, well then you don’t know very much do you. Look I loved this job, I did. That was until the bitter party began. Then it got old real fast. I don’t need this job, and I certainly don’t need to sit her and take this crap from someone as mediocre are you.â€￾ With all but steam coming from her ears she was interrupted by her ‘boss’ again.
â€￾ because of your millionaire boyfriend right Ava?â€￾ she laughed.



<span style='font-size:8pt;line-height:100%'>All am askin’ is for a little respect

Your kisses sweeter than honey, but guess what so is my money!

All I want you to do for me is give me a little respect.
</span>


“No, because I am a better person than this, than you and- them. I did a damn good job for this place. You need me more than I need you, because if thatâ€￾ I pointed to the workers outside her office “is all you have in your side, then I pity you. Lady, I quit!â€￾

â€￾ you can’t quit!â€￾ she yelled after me.

“Yeah I can…watch me!â€￾ and with that slight Bridget Jones moment I was out. I grabbed my baby picture that sat on my desk, my bag and coat and I was gone.



R.E.S.P.E.C.T find out what it means to me.</span>


<span style='color:hotpink'> Getting home a little under twenty minutes after id left the office, I hoped for the last time I was greeted by a very full house and an array of suitcases at the door. I knew my man was capable, but damn he was nearing Martha Stewart complexities here.

“J?â€￾ I called knowing that the entire party – who ever had shown up, they were all in the kitchen or upstairs.

“Baby, that you?â€￾

I heard from the top of the staircase, and then he came into view. He had dressed at that stage. Nothing spectacular, just his old, old army ¾ length pants and a white wife beater.

As he trotted down the stairs with AJ cooing as he bounced. A strong feeling of belonging just washed over me. Something that surprisingly brought tears to my eyes.

“Baby. Whats wrong?â€￾ he asked me, his eyes full of concern as he braced my back and lead me into the empty dining room.

“Justin, I quit my job.â€￾ I blurted out, semi sobbing. As I played with the tiny hand of my now laughing daughter.

“What? How… I mean are you sure you’re ok?â€￾

“YES!â€￾ I laughed through my tears. “ I am actually. I mean really. Ugh, Justin for the longest time ive wanted to quit. I missed AJ I miss so much.

Then you and I….and I missed you too! Justin being there away from her, and you made me realise just how much I needed to be here with you both. I need to be a mother.â€￾
â€￾ aw, you are…and a very good one I might add.â€￾ He smiled at me, handing the baby to me. “ are you sure this is what you want?â€￾ He added.

“More than anything. Im not my mom J. I know that. But for a while, I felt like I was becoming her. Mainly because I didn’t have time to bond with my baby. Because of work. I don’t need to work.â€￾ He nodded in agreement.

“I need to be a mother, I see that now. A little late, I know… but this is what I want to do. I mean what other job pays greater than the realisation that your shaping a little human.â€￾ I smiled at her as she contorted and cooed at me. Her tiny blond curls now were becoming fuller and her bright green eyes brighter than id ever seen them.

With my admission came a storm of noise. Apparently, the entire family had arrived. And by family, I mean everyone. Justin’s clan, Trace and Mrs Trace who by the way was looking somewhat fresher than the day before. Paige and as I was to find out later that night the soon to be ‘MR Paige’.

Everyone that we needed on that flight at 10 was there. This was it. We were going. We were getting married.



Having made it made it through lunch that day without still even an inclining as to what was going down in two days. We decided to still play dumb at all the questions. I excused my self and went with Aj in tow to collect my wedding dress, and my ‘maids’ dresses.

Pulling up at the warehouse/studio, I was fully aware that I was being trailed by the paparazzi yet again.

So I asked to collect them inside, and have them disguised as something else. Well it needed to be done. We’d made it this far, and I wasn’t about to let some a**hole ruin me.

So as I swiped the credit card over, and made the last minute inspections and fittings, all was good. And surprising just how quickly everyone managed it.

***

I knew she was stressing, but Jesus to quit her job like that. It was something she fought me on, something she needed. At first, I didn’t get her reasoning. But as it sunk in I knew, that if she needed this then she needed it. And id support her 100%, like all good husbands to be do.

See the thing about Ava was, she always thought she had to do everything alone in order to do it right. But as she’d soon see, I had a few tricks up my sleeve, that she had no idea about. As it was up to me to book a priest to perform the ceremony, and arrange the seating in the large yard/beach that accompanied our house I knew I could do it, but at the same time sneak in a few things she had no idea about. Just because we agreed on a small quiet wedding didn’t mean I couldn’t add some surprises to the mix. And I planned on doing just that.

Knowing the flight was scheduled for that evening, leaving us getting to Hawaii a little late. We decided on dinner

At home. Then we knew that with everyone at the same table in the same house, leaving in the same cars in a matter of hours – we knew then that we had to tell them.

So as Ava and I sat side by side, with our daughter in her mini chair beside us. I stood and got the attention of the gossiping mothers, rambling fathers and well, Trace.

“Everyone, id like to get your attention.â€￾ I glanced at a now smiling Ava, “we uh, we have something important to tell y’all…â€￾
At this my mom shouted “she’s pregnant again?â€￾

At that the entire table smirked.

“No!â€￾ Ava stood with me. “I am not thank you very much Ms Lynn…it’s something else this time. Justin?â€￾ she looked at me grinning.

“Yeah, well the thing is. When we all get to the house, in Hawaiiâ€￾ I couldn’t help but smile. “The day after we arrive or at least within two days for definate.... Ava and I – we’re getting married.â€￾

At first the entire table was silent. I knew it would take a second. My mom was the first to say at the top of her lungs “well praise the lord – it’s about time!â€￾ after that everyone pretty much erupted in to the whole congratulation side of things.

The excitement took a second to die down, and by that time we were all on the jet. On our way.

Finally.</span>




As I looked at Elisha, who was still pouting over the fact that I hadn’t let on what we were planning. I took the opportunity to go talk to her. Since the majority of the planes passengers were asleep. I jumped seats.
“Lish, I am sorry. But no one knew. We wanted it to be a surprise.â€￾ I began.
“Huh. Well it worked.â€￾ She still pouted and this time crossed her arms for effect.
“Girl come on, level with me. Look when we get there I have to tell Paige. She still doesn’t know. And y’all have to try on your dresses….and I have to try on mine…I need your help.â€￾
With what im guessing was a mix of pregnancy hormones and just damn stubbornness she still held out on me.
“What if I don’t want to now? I mean really Ava. Who did you think id tell?â€￾
in my own tired state I tried to get her to understand that it wasn’t about who shed tell it was about the element of surprise, after about half an hour of explaining it to her she finally gave way. And Cried, but I chalked that up to hormones.
The rest of the flight I was happy to say went smoothly. Of course Trace spent most of his time on the laptop the he insisted on bringing along. He claims he was researching things for pregnancy, the way he grinned at the screen made me thing otherwise. It was probably porn, knowing him.
“Ava?â€￾ Justin whispered all the while feeding AJ her bottle as her tiny little eyes fluttered open and closed.
“Yeah?â€￾
“Where do you want to go on honeymoon?â€￾ He tore his sight from his pride and joy to face me with a smile.
I had to admit, I hadn’t thought much about a honeymoon. Hell id barely thought about the wedding.
“I thought you had to organise the tour in a week? Will we have time?â€￾
“Ill make time, don’t worry about that.â€￾ Weird thing was I had gotten so used to having him around when Aj was born, and when we got back together – the idea of him going away, it broke my heart.
“Jus’…I can’t ask you to delay it again, I mean really. We don’t need a honeymoon; we have all the time in the world to travel.â€￾ I reasoned.
“No. Ava, we need this. Just you and me. Now ill admit I should have thought about this sooner, but with everything – well I just want you to pick somewhere and ill take care of it.â€￾ He persisted as usual as Trace simply smirked at us. I had no idea why at the time.
***
With a sleeping baby and tired and weary parents. We all finally arrived. Two cars brought us all to the house, and the small night boat took us to the property itself. With familiar ooh’s and ahh’s coming from those who hadn’t seen the house before. We entered. And suddenly Ava got a surge of energy. So she bounced around showing off all the various rooms and gadgets. Once everyone was aware of their surroundings we both showed each person/couple to their respective rooms. All the while we both were tired, exhausted really. And just dying for some sleep.
Thankfully Aj decided to co operate with us and she slept on peacefully.
So that night, it was one of the last that I crawled into bed with my fiancé. She’d soon be something so much more. And in all honesty I could hardly wait.
“J?â€￾ she asked while still in the bathroom joined to our room.
“What baby?â€￾
“Do you think we’re rushing this? I mean the day after tomorrow. Isn’t it a little fast. I didn’t realise just how fast…â€￾ I heard the water faucet turn off and she appeared.
“No, I mean we’ve been engaged two years and a bit…I think we’re a little late in doing this.â€￾ I joked.
“J… im serious. I mean. Don’t you want a wedding with all the trimmings, the whole big hoopla?â€￾ I saw the apprehension in her face as she sat next to me on the exceptionally large bed.
I scooted over to join her. “No? Unless you do? Do you?â€￾
“I don’t know. I mean I know I want this. And I really don’t mind how we do this. I signed on for marriage. Not just a wedding. And I know that we’ll make it wonderful – “
“But?â€￾
“But…I mean you know a lot of people. And a lot of important people will be miffed that we didn’t invite them…â€￾ she rambled.
“Av…Honey. The only ‘important’ people I want with me on my wedding day. Is you and my daughter. You’re my family now. All the others are just a bonus.â€￾ I smiled answering her honestly “Really…baby you are all I want. Forever.â€￾
“See. How do you do this, be all – amazing just by saying stuff? It’s not fair!â€￾
“It’s not fair that im amazing?â€￾ I asked pulling her back on to the bed with me.
“No, I mean. You’re always the one to make me feel better; you calm me, my insecurities. I don’t do that for you…â€￾ she pouted. “Im gonna make such a crap wife!!â€￾
I honestly couldn’t help but laugh at her then, and of course that sent her into more of a fit.
“Justin, it’s not funny. You’re the one that’s gonna be stuck with me….â€￾
“And?â€￾ I asked, still laughing at her.
“And… Dude!â€￾
“What? Look you are amazing to me. You give me so much, everyday. You’re the mother of my child. You’re the love of my life…Ava. I don’t get how you don’t see it. Im with you because as calming as I am to you…you’re the one that anchors me, without you, Lord only knows how I would have ended up.â€￾
At that I felt her smile into my chest. “Really?â€￾
“Girl. Duh!â€￾
***
Waking the next morning I was feeling somewhat comatose. Having been up at six with the baby I went into a seemingly never ending sleep. When I finally woke at almost noon. I found an empty bed and an empty crib.
So knowing what a day I was in for I decided to shower and primp before facing the houseful that was at this point more than likely running around.
When I reached downstairs. I felt like I had entered the twilight zone. I saw my mother, cooking – smiling with Justin. My dad and Lynn inspecting the arraigned flowers coming into the garden. And everyone else just was buzzing around.
It took almost a full three minutes before anyone noticed me at all.
“Hey sleepy head…â€￾ Justin grinned fixing up a plate of something that looked mighty fattening.
“Yeah, I don’t know what happened. Where’s Aj?â€￾
“Ooh. Well her uncle Trace took her out. He said he needed to do a few things…so I let him. Elisha is gone to pick up Paige and John. And me and your mom here are cooking lunch!â€￾ he exclaimed in disbelief.
“I see that. Morning mum.â€￾
“AFTERNOON Ava.â€￾ She smiled. And yes it was creepy.
“Ok, ok…so whats for lunch?â€￾
“Everything…Everyone wanted something different. So take your pick…â€￾ he announced kissing me on the cheek.
As I inspected the array of cooked foods I was alerted to the noise at the front gates. The hollering and lots of swearing, in excitement.
I knew it had to be only one person.
I ran to the door. Knowing they’d be there in a matter of seconds.
“Paige!!!!â€￾
The car came to a halt. And out she popped. “Girl, this place is f***ing amazing…how in the hell did y’all not tell me about this!! Its huge! I mean freaking massive!!â€￾ she sprawled her arms to embrace me. Still looking around in disbelief.
“Also,â€￾ she began again. This time in a more serious tone. Right before she slapped me on the arm.
“What the hell...â€￾ I protested.
“No, Ava Mc Donald. How could you. You just planned this and never said. I mean weâ€￾ she pointed to Elisha “didn’t even get a chance to throw you your shower, party or anything. Girl you suck!â€￾
“I don’t suck, look y’all this is the way we wanted it. No fuss no nothing like that. And its gonna be great.â€￾
“But I wanted to throw a party…I wanted strippers!!â€￾ she pouted.
“We can see strippers anytime…â€￾ I reasoned showing her, john and Elisha in to the house again.
After one, was when the boys arrived? That’s right all but lance showed. And the look of happiness on my future husbands face was adorable.
The house was a little over run. Even at the size it was. But the buzz was one of joy. So I wasn’t going to complain.
It was just after three when Trace arrived back, my baby in tow. Smiling like he’d just won the damn lottery. I hadn’t seen Justin all afternoon. After he mysteriously disappeared claiming to “take care of a few thingsâ€￾ what those things where I had no idea.
I mean we had all we needed for our small wedding. Everything was taken care of. Catering, music seating was arriving in the morning. Since we decided to marry as sunset it gave us until at least 6 pm.
Everything we needed we had. I was however told that the garden was off limits all day the next day.
I didn’t think much of it, since I figured I knew all there was to know about what was happening.
At least I thought I did.
Later that evening as Justin and I sat in the kitchen area of the house discussing our individual vows – which he swore he had written, we heard a lot of hustling coming from the next room – where everyone seemed to congregate.
“Yo’ Can y’all come in here for a minute??â€￾ Both Justin and I heard from the enormous living room. We all wanted to eat out, so as we were just about ready. Things changed.
“Yeah?â€￾
“Take a seat.â€￾ Trace instructed. While everyone else watched on, smirks on their faces.
“Whats going on?â€￾ Justin asked looking at his friend, then mine.
“Well if you’d give me a second…â€￾ he smiled. “ Ava, would you go stand with my lovely wife please.
“Ok?â€￾ I answered eventually. Still knowing neither of us had a clue what was up.
“Ok. Heres the deal. Since this is both y’all’s last night of freedom so to speak, we couldn’t very well have y’all cooped up in here with your parents – no offence?â€￾
“Trace?â€￾
“Shhh. So anyway. I and the rest of the boys have decided that Justin needs a bachelor party. And you beautiful Ava needs some serious pampering. So we have arraigned it all. So don’t argue. J. Dude you’re with us…â€￾ He pulled an apprehensive looking Justin to his side as Paige and Elisha pulled at me.
“Wait, what about dinner?â€￾ I asked.
“Oh honey child, we were only joking. We gonna order something in and just relaxâ€￾ Lynn spoke up “us old people need our rest…and someone needs to be with the baby. So go HAVE SOME FUNâ€￾ she kissed me on the cheek. As I was hauled out the door, and I watched Justin wave to be as he was dragged out the other.
Ooh boy!
[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]][[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]][[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]][[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]
As we arrived at one of the many top class hotels in Hawaii less than a half hour later I was filled with dread as we entered a big room. With a stage, and…poles. Oh this wasn’t looking good.
“Dude, I said no strippers.â€￾ I protested as I saw JC, Joey, and Chris already started on the beers.
“Aw baby boy…you made it!!â€￾ Joey was the first to spot us. “Boy, your getting married. I remember you when you where still a virgin!â€￾ he grabbed my cheeks in a way a grandmother would do. “And now...â€￾ he faked tears “you’re all grown up!â€￾
“Man shut the f*** up…why did y’all tell me about this. I had no idea.â€￾ I announced greeting the other guys and receiving my first of many beers from the waitress.
“Well that was the pointâ€￾ JC spoke up. “So heres what we’re gonna do. Since you didn’t even tell us until we got here. We had no time to plan anything over the top. So all we’re gonna do is drink, and play some poker…that cool?â€￾
I breathed a sight of relief.
“Thank god! That’s fine, the last thing I needed was Ava freaking out on me if any strippers were on up in here…â€￾
It was then when I should have noticed, the looks that where exchanged between all the men. Something wasn’t right.
***
“OHH…MY GOD.â€￾ I announced walking into the presidential suite of the Mandarin Oriental. Everything was set up. I mean everything. The rooms where decked out in baskets of goodies, sweets, drink flowers. Make up. Everything…
The room was covered in my favourite flowers, Baby roses.
“Who did all this, did you both do this?â€￾ I asked.
“No. we just booked the room…â€￾ Elisha piped up.
“Then who?â€￾ I asked again as I went over to inspect one of the baskets.
“Ava, have fun tonight ok? And don’t go backing out on me tomorrow. Love you….
Justin Xxx.â€￾
As I read the note allowed, I think my heart simply melted. I really had no idea that he had done any of this.
“Girl, I think I want Justin now!â€￾ Paige gasped as she opened the basket full of alcohol.
“Well tough…he’s mine...â€￾ I laughed.
“Not until tomorrow…Ha.â€￾ She popped the champagne, and then poured for us and a glass of OJ of the pregnant among us.
“I can’t believe this…â€￾ I gasped again.
“Well you a’int seen Nothin yet?â€￾ Paige spoke up.
“We didn’t do this…â€￾ Elisha pointed to the array of things spread out through out the room. “But we’ve got things coming…like hair run through’s for tomorrow; make up…Peti and Mani. The whole nine….â€￾
“As well as a few extras…â€￾ Paige pipped in. That I knew meant only one thing.
“NO, I wanted no strippers…â€￾ I protested, suddenly wondering what Justin was up too.
“Well tough…I wanted a stripper so I got me a stripper!â€￾ Paige hopped up and started vigorously bouncing on the bed holding her glass close to her.
“Oh god y’all no….please I don’t want some greasy old perve feeling me all up.â€￾
“Actually babe it’s the other way about…we’re supposed to be the ones feeling him up.â€￾ Paige laughed at me as I poured my second glass of champagne.
***
“Dude no! Not now…no Nahaâ€￾ I protested as I saw my friends slide back on their seats as the girl in spiked heels and a silk robe gazing at me like I was a cool ice drink on a hot day. Ooh god.
“Listen, I know this is your thing and all…but...â€￾ I signalled to her, and tried to get up.
“No, no you aren’t going anywhere baby…â€￾ and just as “kelis’s Milk shakeâ€￾ came on the surround sound she removed her robe sensually…. Ooh Jesus.
As she paraded herself around me, and am not saying she didn’t do it very well. It was just; the last thing I needed was some girl ruining what I had with Ava. I didn’t do well with dancers…
“Are you not enjoying yourself?â€￾ she asked…
“No I… your very good at what you doâ€￾ I managed as she bounced against my lap.
“Am I?â€￾ she smiled.
“Yes…â€￾ I replied.
“Im very good at other things too you know…â€￾ she implied and I knew she wasn’t talking cooking.
“I can see that…â€￾I managed again.
“Well not yet, but we’ll see later.â€￾ She winked.
***
“What is the one thing? You can’t stand about Justin in bed…â€￾ this subject caused Elisha to burst in to a fit of laughter.
“I don’t know…â€￾ I answered honestly.
“Awe come on there has to be something?â€￾
“Well… I honestly don’t know, I mean we’re fine in that department really…â€￾
“One thing…come on girl he can’t be faultless…â€￾
“fine...Ok there is this thing that he does…its like... ok. When he grows his beardy thingâ€￾ I pointed to my chin “and if he goes down on me, which is usually great right. But god it just hurts so damn much with the stubble. And I never have the heart to say that I don’t like it…Lame I know but that’s all I can think of…â€￾ I took another drink. As Elisha stepped in. “Ok, whats your favourite thing he does to you…â€￾ she sblacked.
“Y’all I cant do this, I hate talkin about sex.â€￾
“We know, but your gonna be a married woman soon so you need to get over it.â€￾ Paige inserted.
“Im plenty over it, Ive had a kid for gods sakes…just please don’t make me answer anymore questions.â€￾ I begged throwing myself on the bed between them both. “Pleeeeease….â€￾
“Just that one, and then we have something else in store for you…â€￾
No, god no.
“Fineâ€￾ I defeated. “He…ugh. Ok I love it all just to clarify thank you, but mainly I like it when…ok I hate y’all you know that… I like it when he does that thing with his tongue and like makes the nerves on my skin all stand out. It makes when he’s touching me sooo much more intense. So that way when we were…you know...â€￾
“f***ing each others lights out…â€￾ Elisha added ever so lady like.
“Whatever…it makes it…better. So there all done. Whats next.â€￾ I added swiftly, dying for it to be over.
Weirdly just as I said it there was a knock at the door.
Please don’t let it be a stripper.
I chanted to myself:
And thank the lord. It wasn’t. What it was though was a woman followed by three other women. All in lingerie.
“Paige if this is the strippers I think we may need to tell john what you’re into…really.â€￾ I said not knowing what in the hell she had planned.
Thankfully she hadn’t lost her mind and settled on female strippers. In fact it was something worse. It was show. For me. Or more to the point, for Justin ultimately.
As each tiny ass girl showed off her assortment of goodies. Elisha moved to play us both some mood music. It was all getting to me I had to admit. All I had wanted was to go home see my baby and be with my man. Was that so wrong?
“Av’ girl, come on pick something!â€￾ Paige urged as we watched more and more selections arrive.

“Why? Its only gonna come off any way…â€￾ I insisted giddy at the thought. That was aided with the seventh flute of champagne.
“Well yeah! But come on, its all fun. I mean your dress is gonna come off too but you thought about that!â€￾ she argued in defence. And I guess she was right.
“Fine, fine I get it ill do it.â€￾ As I grinned awkwardly at all the obvious native models I picked one of the more….less revealing of the collection. It was a slinky three piece. Bra and French style panties with a silk see through slip that was spaghetti strapped and ended at my knee. All of which were in white. And hey I know, I a’int no virgin. But it’s the occasion so screw it. You know that, and I took the entire collection – for those boring old nights on honeymoon. Where ever that might be.
***
Some nine drinks later, the stripper had been joined by a few of her friends. Apparently Joey wanted me to remember this. And don’t get me wrong I would, I just really didn’t want to. So there I was, three sheets to the wind, and wondering where the hell that statement came from…drunk off my ass, and confessing my love for four men. Yeah I was real proud at that moment.
“You know, I love you’s all sooo much right…even you Jo. You have Ho radar that ill never understand…â€￾ then I leaned in to whisper. “Where did you find those chicks…?â€￾
“Man you know I have my ways…and a’int they hot?â€￾ he asked, equally as drunk as I was. And with that all my boys cheered, raising their glasses in agreement.
“Yeah they fineâ€￾ I slurred, “but!! My girl is so much better…â€￾ I exclaimed in the same celebratory mood id been in “y’all Im getting married!! ME!! And you know what else?â€￾ I managed in my dizzy state “I love her…more than everything in this world, and I know she loves me!! So, let’s drink to me…and my girl…â€￾
***
It was shortly after I picked out my underwear had my hair done to perfection and all the nails on my hands and feet perfect- that it happened. There was another knock on the door as I was in the bathroom. I figured it was just merely more grub and more booze. But when I came from the other room I was more than shocked to see a man, a very burly looking man.
Ooh God noooooooooooooo.
“Ma’m…â€￾ he nodded
“Yes?â€￾ I asked staring broadly at both my friends.
“I need to tell you something…Im here toâ€￾ Oh god… “Rock your body.â€￾
Ooh he didn’t just do that…oh he was doin’ it. As Elisha the little ho flipped the switch on the beat box the recognizable beginnings of Justin’s RYB began as both girls got overly excited…as he started to undress.
Sweet lord…I was mortified for him.
*********


It was after four when I finally was shown to my “bachelor hotel room.â€￾ The room I found out later held every kind of hangover cure- that lets face it, id need. But fact was
I missed my girl. But the three times I had attempted to call her that night the call was intercepted by her ‘maids’ who were getting on my nerves. All I wanted to do was talk to her, that wasn’t unlucky was it?
When I put my head down on my pillow that night all I wanted it to be, was the next day. Unfortunately there was a knock on the door.
“Joey man, I can’t drink any more…I.â€￾ but as I unlocked and opened the door I realised it wasn’t Joey – infact it was none of the guys. It was the stripper.
“Uh, hey?â€￾ suddenly realised I was only clad in my grey boxers and she was eyeing me again like I was an ice cream Sunday.
“Heyâ€￾ she replied finally looking me in the eye. “Can I come in?â€￾
“No…â€￾I blurted then realised how rude I sounded. “I mean I really should be in bed.â€￾
“I know thatâ€￾ she smiled wider this time as she fidgeted with the big belt buckle on her Mac coat. Suddenly marching past me.
“Uh... listen…â€￾ I struggled to remember her name in my drunken condition.
“Scarletâ€￾ She said for me.
“Yeah…Scarlet look I don’t know how you got this room number sweetheart but I really should be getting some sleep…â€￾
“After…â€￾ she simply said as she for the second time that night opened herself to me, this time she unbuttoned her coat exposing her underwear clad self to me. It was scarlet just like her name and there wasn’t a whole lot to it…
“Whoa…seriously.â€￾ I maintained “you really shouldn’t be here...â€￾
“Why?â€￾ she asked grinning up at me seductively making her way towards me, backing me towards the bed. “Im getting married tomorrow I really can’t do this with you…â€￾ I tired to get her out, without hurting her feelings. Hell she may have been a ho, but hoes have feeling too. And no matter what I was, I was a gentleman.
Well that was until her lips made their way to my chest, then I knew I had to use force.
“Look, No…I don’t know what you thought would happen up here honey but im not interested. Ok?â€￾
“Awe, you sure? Because I can tell you now…no one needs to know. Ever…â€￾
Yeah I believed that one.
“I realllly don’t care. I made a mistake with this once…not again. I adore my girl…I couldn’t hurt her like that.â€￾
“But I told you…No one needs- “
“Yeah, but id know…and im taking vows tomorrow and I intend to mean them…sorry, I mean don’t get me wrong you’re very beautiful…but im sorry…â€￾ I ignored the headache I was feeling and bent down to hand her, her coat. Turing around to see her smiling.
“Paige asked me to give you this…â€￾ she held out a tiny envelope. I took it in confusion.
“Justin, if she's given you this it means you passed. I guess I trust you enough with my friend’s heart now…good luck for tomorrow. Paige Xxxâ€￾
Sure I should have been mad at her; I mean what the hell kind of person sets someone up with a stripper/hooker. I mean really. But on the other hand I knew where she was coming from. And I was glad I had the chance to prove to her that I had changed. She never really trusted me and she made that clear. Ava always tried to down play it, but I knew. I hoped now that it would change.
****
I was actually allowed to sleep in the next day. Finally after all my girls departed at almost 6 am. I was still drunk, and very hung-over. I only managed to awaken after 1pm. Which I guess gave me five and a half hours to freak out. Having spent the morning/afternoon getting pampered yet again I was feeling somewhat relaxed. That was until I was met with a list of “to do’sâ€￾ before I said I do. I was getting married. ME? It wasn’t something that I envisioned as a little girl. As weird as it sounds. I was raised in an environment where a man wasn’t necessary. Love – I thought wasn’t necessary. Then I found him. I knew that I needed someone to fell complete; I knew that no matter what people tell you about feeling complete and content alone- its bullsh**. When you’re alone, single and unloved in the way you know you deserve to be loved, it sucks. Thankfully I didn’t have to be alone any more. Ever.
I was picked up, by limo and driven home shortly after one thirty. I was greeted by the whole family. All excluding Justin.
“Where is he Lisha?â€￾ I asked as we all hauled our tired asses up the way too big staircase.
“He’s still at the hotel, asleep I think. From what I heard he had quiet a night…â€￾
why did I automatically see naked women when she said that…
“What do you mean…?â€￾
She laughed at my concern.
“Just boys stuff babe, nothing to immoral.â€￾ I needed to know more.
“Meaning? Where there strippers?? Oh god where there hookers?â€￾
“No, girl what do you think they are…well there may have been strippers…other than that, I don’t know. He wants to see you. But we’ve told him no…â€￾
“why?â€￾ I let her turn on my shower for me.
“Because, DUH its bad luck…â€￾
“So I don’t get to see him all day? What kind of..â€￾
“Noooo don’t even try it. Y’all will see each other at the top of that isle….â€￾ Her eyes went skywards “Oh and another thing, ive gotten orders not to let you out into the yard…apparently its top secret."

“Top secret huh?â€￾
“Yes, it’s been sealed off since last night…I think Justin was up to something.â€￾ She laughed. Hanging my dress over the rail in order to steam it.
“Why can’t I see him, I need to talk to him – its important.â€￾ I brought up again.
“You can call him…you don’t have to “seeâ€￾ him in order to do that you know…â€￾ she sblacked at me not helping much at all.
“Fine. Where’s Paige?â€￾
“Still in bed. Hung-over…im so glad I’m pregnant…â€￾ she smiled. Smug cow. I was also very hung-over…wanting nothing more that to lie on the beach.
“Yeah, yeah…when do the hair people get here? And the photographer when does she get here?â€￾
“Hair and make up here at three, other than that no one arrives till the ceremony is about to start – the photographer, Claire’s her name by the by... she’s down stairs your mum is making her take pictures of AJ and her.
Ooh god.
“Ok well Im just gonna go check on her…â€￾ I sprinted down stairs, I missed my little girl. As I saw the fiasco going on in the large oversized living room I had to protest.
“Ma, come on…â€￾
“what dear, I wanted a few photos with my gran daughter is that so wrong.â€￾ I greeted Claire and she informed me it wasn’t just a few but a few rolls of film.
“Mother…â€￾ I warned. Picking up my little baby, who was dressed in the most hideous fluffy pink dress that make her look like cake decoration.
“Do you all have to be getting ready…?â€￾ I hoped.
“Dear we have five hours…please it takes me a few minutes...â€￾ she boasted I knowing her however knew better.
“You know I know that’s not true. Lynn’s upstairs. Why don’t you join her im sure you both need to pick out what your wearing anyway.â€￾ After much hesitation I finally got her to agree. I knew sooner or later they would need to bond. And no time like the present right?
After I took the arrival of my flowers, signed off on all the paper work. I finally got a second alone.
But when I tried Justin’s cell. It just rung out. I guess he was busy, it was understandable – we all were.
But I think the feeling of loneliness washed over me, I needed him there. And one of the reasons why I was so insistent on a small wedding was simply because I would have like to have him with me.
But that wasn’t happening as you can see.
***
I had tried the house phone a few times, each time the line was busy. For the last hour I had tried.
In between trying to get my body to respond to sun light. It was one thing I didn’t deal well with was hangovers.
“Man you gotta stop…she's busy ok?â€￾ I heard trace call from the kitchen section of my suite.
“I know that. But I just…â€￾
“Nope. Not happening. Look she's gonna show don’t worry. I mean she’s already there and everything is underway…I just talked to Elisha…everything’s okay.â€￾
“I know thatâ€￾ I argued “I just want to see her. I mean this whole all day thing; it wasn’t what either of us had in mind.â€￾
“I know…â€￾ he said smiling evilly “But it’s the way it’s been forever and its tradition dude and you don’t monkey with tradition.â€￾
No even just once.
****
I was stressing out. The baby was fussing, the hair people where delayed and my entire crew of family just wouldn’t back o

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Postby whatchagot4meMRJT » Mon Aug 29, 2005 5:12 pm

:yay: :yay: I am so damn excited for them to get to Hawaii and get married. That plane ride better not take too long. There is so much excitement in the air. :yay: :yay:

I'm glad Ava quit her job. Those nasty b****es were just too much with all of their jealousy. Justin has plenty of money to take care of them. She needs to be with AJ. Ava's one cool mom. :wub:

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Postby whatchagot4meMRJT » Fri Sep 02, 2005 12:17 pm

Weddings always manage to become the most hectic events ever. :lol: I loved how they both ended up at the beach. Screw tradition ... they needed a break from all the loonies back at the house. You'd think all of them were getting married. (Which is a very possible plot idea, m'dear! ;) :lol: )

I couldn't stop laughing at the stripper and "Rock Your Body." Excellent musical accompaniment choice. :rofl: :rofl:

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Postby laura » Wed Sep 07, 2005 10:16 am

Just to set the scene for when i update! LOOKIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

<span style='color:purple'>Her dress: http://tinypic.com/dggoz6.jpghere

flowers :http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v358/zekateus/Wedding%20Craft%20Ideas/PinkBouquet.gifhere

the cake: weddingcakesbydesign.com/shaved_white_chocolate.htmlhere

view from the house drakeandcavendish.com/mainimages/Documents/imagelibrary/Zoom/indian_ocean/IORESI_03_POOLS.jpghere

the house http://http://www.malibu-locations.com/pics/mansions/1/yaghtinfrntcover216.jpghere


bridesmaids dresses http://tinypic.com/dggp41.jpghere</span>

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Postby whatchagot4meMRJT » Wed Sep 07, 2005 5:27 pm

Gorgeous! :D

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Postby laura » Thu Sep 08, 2005 8:44 am

EEEE. Ok am waaay to excited about this chapter so im hoping it goes down well! its all good, so Paige a little happiness after what i did to ya in the other one! :lol:
Enjoy! :P






When I hot tailed it back to the hotel I was met by irritated faces. Namely the guys, Trace and my mom and dad.

“You went to see her didn’t you, don’t you know its bad luck man.â€￾ Trace began as I ignored him, placed the last minute call into the music I had arranged for the ceremony and the after party.

Which I knew the preparations where all but done in the large “yardâ€￾ at the back of the house. It was part of the few surprises I had for her that day, the décor being one of them. She had no clue how I had switched our ‘simple’ gathering to luxury and privacy…you know just in case.

The other surprise was the music, or not so much the music but the person singing it.

“I know I know ok? Jez leave it alone. She wasn’t in her dress, I wasn’t ready so whats the big deal…besides she's gone to get ready now, we only have a another hour and a half man, so I gotta shower and shave…â€￾ I ignored everyone else’s looks and made my way to the bathroom. Where I was followed by my mother.

“Whats up ma…â€￾



“Ooh Nothin’ I was just wanting to see you that’s all…â€￾ she replied ever so smoothly.

“Aw, you miss me already?â€￾ I joked.


“Yeah…â€￾

“what?â€￾

“Well, you’re my baby Justin weather you like it or not…and this is a big day
for me too. My only child is gettin’ married…â€￾ I saw that glazed look in her eyes.

“Mom, come on I thought this is what you wanted?â€￾

“Oh it is…â€￾ she assured me smiling. “It is I love Ava, she's a sweet heart and nothing makes me happier than seeing you her and Jade together....

But I love you more. So I just need a second…â€￾ at that I knew she would cry so I did what I always did when I tried to stop all the women in my life from crying. I enveloped her in a hug.

“Well, it’s all alright. I want this too. I and I want you to know, that you raised me right and ill be a good husband to her, and an even better dad to our kids you know ill do my very best….â€￾ I reassured her again. Making her beam as I did so.

<span style='font-size:8pt;line-height:100%'>When i think how life use to be
Always walking in the shadows
</span>

“I know that too trust me.â€￾ She kissed me on the cheek and then rubbed off the mark of lipstick she left there.

“Mom, go make sure she's ok?â€￾ I asked using my puppy eyes “at least make sure she doesn’t run off!â€￾ I laughed as she left. Leaving me to finally get ready.

***

“What if he doesn’t show up you guys?â€￾ I asked as the final touches where being put to my make up and my hair.

“He will, I know he will, you know it too…â€￾ Paige pipped up. “How do you know that?â€￾ I asked looking at her fiddle with the clasp on her necklace. That just made her laugh.


“Ooh just this little thing that went down last night, assures me that he’ll
show…â€￾

“what did you do!â€￾

â€￾Nothin!!â€￾ she smile guilty. “Well ok there may have been a tiny little thing that I did…â€￾


“PAIGE??â€￾

“Fine, jez I just sorta made sure that I could trust his ass to be right with

you before y’all did this today…. I sorta got the stripper to come on to him,

and TRY and um…seduce him.â€￾

“WHAT?â€￾

“Don’t yell, I was doin it for you…and my little niece.â€￾ She adopted the niece
thing since she thought it was unfair Trace wasn’t related to Justin but still got to be her uncle.

“Paige, Omygod…â€￾ I was furious with her, I mean I would have done it to john had the tables been turned but damn she didn’t even tell me… “Wait, what happened?â€￾ my curiosity getting the better of me.

“Ooh, so you wanna know now huh?â€￾

I just stood; hands on hips letting her know I wasn’t amused.

“Fine, nothing he just told her that he loved you and that he wouldn’t do that with her or anyone and that he didn’t want to screw things up…then he kicked her out.â€￾

That made me smile like you couldn’t believe.

“Well, I knew that…â€￾ I faked. Admiring my dress again.

“Yeah, yeah…Look, ill go get AJ from her nap. Is her dress there?â€￾ She asked me. And it was. A miniature bridesmaids dress with a little pink ribbon for her hair.

“Yes, ill do it.â€￾

“Nope, you get that finished off.â€￾ She pointed to the make up lady with her brush in hand.

<span style='font-size:8pt;line-height:100%'>Then i look at what you've given me
I feel like dancing on my tip toes
</span>


“Fine…â€￾ I laughed as she trotted off to get my daughter.

Just as exited the large airy bedroom my dad came in. shirt and trousers on as well as his hair quaffed.

“Hey…â€￾

“Its ok, you can come in.â€￾ I said as he peeked around the doorframe

“You look beautiful…really.â€￾ He glanced at me smiling.

“Thank you…is everyone about ready?â€￾

“Sure are, all the ladies are sitting gossiping about baby stories about you and my new son in law. And I well, im trying to avoid it.â€￾ He laughed.

“Don’t blame you.â€￾ I said finally finished with my make up. I had twenty minutes till show time as Elisha called it.

“So. This Justin fellow. He’s good to you, I see that.â€￾

“He is.â€￾ I agreed, I mean how could I not?

“But if there is anything, or ever a time when you need a break…need
someone else to talk to? A different opinion maybe? You know where I am now and you know that ill never judge you for what ever choices you make, you know that right?â€￾

“Yes, I know that. But I just hope if I get to the point where I need a break
that we can work whatever problems we’ll face together. You know?â€￾

“Your mother raised an intelligent girl…â€￾ he sounded so regretful. “I mean
woman…â€￾ he smiled, as did I.


“She did, she really did.â€￾ Funny I had always forgot just how much she had done for me.

*****

I was nervous as the car that held me, my mom and dad and the driver/ best man that was Trace drove up the long driveway.

This was it, I was getting married.



Wow…

<span style='font-size:8pt;line-height:100%'>I must say that everyday i wake
and realize you're by my side
I know i'm so Blessed
</span>


It was one of those stop look and listen moments as I exited the car. Everything seemed to expand.

I noticed everything about where I was. I was excited; I was scared – of what I wasn’t quiet sure. I cherished my girl, we had been through so much and I knew it was only the beginning. The things that had been thrown at us in the past would be childish compared to now.

I mean we’d be married, the press would have an absolute field day when they unavoidably find out, and god forbid when the fans get wind of it…



I understood their hold on me, I had them with me all my life practically they had seem me in the many fazes and eras of my life from when I was basically eleven years old.

I owed them a lot. They gave me strength to go on at times when I felt like giving everything up. All I would have to do is stand on that stage again and id know what I was doing.

That was professionally, and that as you know was only a small section of who I was, but I let it consume me. I bought into the whole “Hollywoodâ€￾ scene. I figured all you needed was to be pretty and have an equally famous girl to be happy. Boy was I wrong. That’s when I met her, and that’s when everything changed.

All for the better I think you’ll agree. I could see this was not only what I wanted, but what I needed – I only hoped they’d see the same.

As I walked up the front steps of the house that was now decorated in all kinds of pale pink roses. I was greeted by Elisha, who I had to say looked wonderful in her dress. But the main reason she looked great was because she was holding my daughter in an identical dress, her curls tied up in a pink ribbon. She looked adorable.

“Hey there cuteness…â€￾ I grabbed for her as she held her arms up to be carried.

“If she throws up on you, we’re not postponing…â€￾ Elisha huffed as I jiggled the baby.

“She wont, will you honey…no. see...â€￾ I pointed to her as she laughed at me.

Elisha just rolled her eyes at me, “your fiancé is more or less ready…â€￾ she said finally cracking a smile.

Making me get those rumbling in my stomach again that I thought I had gotten rid of.

“Really?? Can I see her?â€￾ I was met with an over all “NOâ€￾ from the house full of people that had arrived.

<span style='font-size:8pt;line-height:100%'>Blessed for everything you've given me
Blessed for all the tenderness you show
Do my best with every breath that's in me
</span>


“Fine, I get it…its ‘tradition’â€￾ I used my fingers to air quote. Still didn’t help my nerves though…but just as I was about to protest the door bell rang I knew it had to be the music…

****

“Ooh god, I think am gonna throw up! Paige…uhh…â€￾ my stomach felt sick, I mean I knew everyone that was gonna be watching me usually when Justin was at my side I knew I wasnt the one everyone focused on, and I was so fine with that but now?

What if I tripped, what if I slurred. With the boys there I knew id never live it down.

As I tried to take the deep breathes that were insisted upon by my lovely B’ Maid…

“Ok…ladiesâ€￾ My mother can in some ten minutes later to tell us it was “Show time…ooh am so excitedâ€￾ she smiled at me, adjusting my hair for the third time. I wanted it simple. Back with detail in the jewels that held it up, my make up was simple but I had my eyebrows done so they defined my face, giving me the character and definition we all love our brows for. I had darkish eyes with the liner and pale lips, glossed to perfection.

But it was my dress that I loved. It was perfect for me. It was me.

“Im ready…Mum?…â€￾ I began with what I had talked over with my dad moments before “I need to ask you something…â€￾

Paige and Elisha took their cue and my baby and told me they’d wait down stairs.

“What is it Ava…your all set aren’t you?â€￾

“Sure am…but I need you with me, Cuz it’s you that’s taking me down that aisle.â€￾ She looked confused.

“Well you raised me, you’re the one that should be doing this not him…as much as I love him and love that your getting along this isn’t an honour he deserves…you do.â€￾

“I…don’t know what to say, im…â€￾

“Well…â€￾ I laughed linking arms with her as we made our way out of the room “just say yes and let’s get this show on the road…â€￾
****
Finally I was able to unveil to everyone what I had planned. Stepping out from the patio on to a large section of our own private beach held the arch that stood the minister. Seats adorned either side and to the left I had made sure the biggest tent like structure in white silk stood inside it where a bunch of surprises that I knew for certain she would love.

So there I stood, at the top of the make shift aisle that was created with lines of material that graced either side of the chairs and the rose petals that matched her bridesmaids dresses.

Everything was exactly the way we envisioned it, plus no paparazzi – major score for team Timberlake…I think you’ll agree.

<span style='font-size:8pt;line-height:100%'>There are times that i test your faith
Til you think you mite surrender
Baby I'm, I'm not ashamed to say that
my will grow
</span>


I knew what was happening, but it all seemed so unreal. A few seconds after I took my place at the top of the alter, I was joined by Trace, as both our families and close friends looked on.

“You have the rings right?â€￾ I asked again.

“Yeah I do, relax man…â€￾

“I am relaxed….â€￾ I lied. As the music began the piano gently began, taking
me back to reality as I saw the doors open. I saw her mum smiling, I saw

Paige and Elisha grinning like they’d just won the lotto then…. I swear it was literally like a breath of the freshest air. There she was, looking absolutely sensational to say the least. When the doors opened and she stepped through I swear things began in slow motion.

The wind hit her hair just right, and as her eyes met mine I knew she was ok. How did I know? Her smile told me everything I needed to know. She was happier than id ever seen her. Increasing my happiness by ten fold.

****

There he was looking incredibly gorgeous. More than that he was glowing, and the million dollar smile of his just seemed to convey that so much more. I focused on nothing but him as I was led up the aisle behind my two friends and my daughter. Although as I saw Justin look strange at my mothers position I couldn’t help but laugh nervously. Then I spotted Lynn, crying into her tissue.

It all struck me as kind of amusing. I saw Joey, with his video camera in hand, doing what I was to later find out was zooming for “effectâ€￾ – Spielberg eat your heart out.


I saw that our aisle consisted of bouquets of baby roses intiwined with bloomed ones and ribbons white silk binded to each white chairs that held our family and friends. I saw the tails of the silk blowing in the wind as the sun set infront of me as i made it up the aisle. It was truly beautiful. I reached the top of the aisle, there he was up close and looking as captivating at he was the very first time I saw him.

As he took my hand in his the priest began his ceremony. Justin leaned into me…

“Did you notice your surprise??â€￾

I didn’t, “what?â€￾


He nodded to the side of the alter in front of the seating.

<span style='font-size:8pt;line-height:100%'>You walked by in the nik of time
looking like an anwsered prayer
</span>

Holy lord, I was in a total world of my own. The music being played to me walking was played by no one other than Chris Martin who nodded and smiled at me as my eyes widened in realisation.

“Omygod….â€￾ I kept my voice down as the priest talked to us, and the audience. And Justin just gave me that “Duhâ€￾ look I knew so well… what did he want, I was a little preoccupied.

I heard the priest as he made his blessing on us, our family and our baby, I heard him ask god to watch over us, to love and protect us as a new unit. Then I heard him as us for our vows as Trace handed Justin my ring. I noticed as her shined it up so I could glance before he set it on the tip of my ring finger. He had his engraved too. “No what if’s you’re my girl…no matter whatâ€￾ such a “himâ€￾ thing to do. It made me laugh.

“Ava I believe you both have written vows.â€￾ The man who stood in front of us asked me.

Just then I was snapped out of my smiley stare with Justin. As he cleared his throat smiled down at me bashfully, blushing almost as he began.



"Ava, meeting you was the best thing that has ever happened to me, you brought so much light into my life that I didnt know was missing, given me such strength to grow and to over come so much, with such ease. When people asked me, why? Why you? I didn’t really have a sure answer for them because the truth is I can’t explain it. When I have to put my feeling for you and for us as a unit in to words, I can’t its just to much for words to do justice.
But what I do know is that my world is a much better place with you in it. I know that with you by my side as my partner, my best friend, my queen - I know we can do anything.

That feeling is the best in the world, because it shows me, it reaffirms my belief that love can do wonderful things, it can conquer all. At least I know our love can, and I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life helping to grow that love, and seeing just exactly where it takes us both. You are my perfect verse over the tightest of beats...."



He blushed even further as he continued, while I just fought with myself not to cry.



"With you as my wife, and me as your husband. I know we'll make it work. It won’t be easy, nothing ever is, but then again nothing that’s easy is ever fun...or worth it. Ive learned from you that anything that’s worth keeping is worth fighting for, so ill fight. Because I know we are. I love you more than anything; I will love you no matter what, till death parts us."

His words struck something in me that I somehow didn’t know was there. I was so happy, and never before had I cried tears of joy like I did that day.

I let his words sink in; I let them wash through me, loving every moment of it.

Then I knew it was my turn to tell him what I needed so badly to have him know

"When we're growing up, as little girls we're taught in fairy tales, that we're all going to be rescued by our very own prince on a white horse, but as we get older we lose that magic that we had when we where younger. We realised that not everyone gets to meet their prince, to be saved and to live happily ever after, because it doesn’t exist?

I thought that for the longest time. I thought I was a failure if I wasn’t happy all the time, if I wasn’t making others around me happy.

That was until I met you - Justin, when we met I changed in so many ways, you opened me up to this whole new way of life and a side of myself I didn’t really know existed I realised though, that happiness isn’t something that can be forced, or found, it has to be created, and with you I know ive been given the ability to created the purest form of happiness there is. That underneath it all, all the superficial desires we think we have, the only real one we need is love, you give that to me.

You fulfil that need everyday and I thank for that. I thank you for being with me through all the changes, good and bad. Thank you for making me the person I am today, the person who is able to be open and to love and be loved so fully in return. Simply thank you for you. With this vow I promise to love you, to respect you and to cherish you to the best I can – until god parts us."


<span style='font-size:8pt;line-height:100%'>Blessed for everything you've given me
Blessed for all the tenderness you show
Do my best with every breath that's in me
</span>



With the exchange of vows, we both realised that our words had brought each other to tears, and as we looked at each of our mothers we saw then in an equal amount of tears.

It made us laugh. When we place each beautiful ring on each others fingers, he read my inscription the strangest thing was they where similar… “What if you’re the one? That’s the last what if…â€￾

Just as the priest began again.

“Justin and Ava have made their vows in front of us all today. Most importantly in front of God they have vowed to love and honour each other till death parts them.

Ladies and Gentlemen: I give you Mr and Mrs Timberlake…. You may kiss your brideâ€￾

Finally…

With the kiss that I planted on her incredibly soft, glossed lips it made me tingle again just like it had done the very first time. I knew we had to stop, out of respect for everyone if nothing else, but it was difficult. To say the least.

With a more than elated vibe, the audience of family and friends moved over to the left of the “estateâ€￾ where I had made sure someone in charge concocted the largest of manqué tents. Inside I knew was a wonderland only fit for my queen.

Of course as we made our way down our makeshift aisle we where greeted and hugged by pretty much everyone, including the one person whose music we both loved.

She grabbed on to Chris Martin and continued to thank him…she just married me and she was thanking him?? Well that was my Ava for you, never impolite to “guestsâ€￾ I had to laugh as she hugged and hugged the poor man…

“Thank you sooo much really I mean your music, your bands music it means….â€￾
I had to butt in “she means thanks Chris…â€￾

He simply nodded and congratulated us like everyone had been doing.

“Well, Mrs Timberlake how does it feel?â€￾

“How does what feel?â€￾ she smiled her eyes gleaming with happiness – I knew I didn’t have to ask but I wanted to.

“How does it feel to be an old married woman…?â€￾ I laughed.

“Pretty incredible so far, but then again it’s only been about ten minutes…ask me again in 50 years…â€￾

As we made our way or families into the structure in which we would party I had to stop and take notice of the awe in her expression.

“Justin when did you…how did you do all of this, I mean in two days?â€￾

“Eh, well I had it planned from when we where here the last time, as soon as you said you wanted to of course…then it was just a matter of setting it

in motion. I take it you like it?â€￾ She simply rolled her eyes in that “don’t be

sillyâ€￾ way she always did

The décor was deep shades of pink, white and a little red thrown in for romance. It all mixed to create a picturesque setting for our day

She was speechless, as were the guests. The tent held tables decorated with silk and multicoloured roses and jasmine, romantic lighting, and streaming piano music to boot. The top table was a larger version of the

guest’s tables. Set for the two of us, the large golden seats looked luxurious and comfy. Candles where the centre pieces of every table, adorned with roses to set them off in the romantic atmosphere we wanted.

“Justin this is amazing, how did you pull this off? I mean I knew what was happening, this wasn’t it?â€￾ she laughed hugging me with delight.

“I have my ways…you know that by now!â€￾ at least I hoped she did.

“Oh I do TRUST me I do!â€￾ Her mother came up to us, congratulated us both – and handed me our daughter who looked adorable and content sucking on her dummy just smiling at me.

I watch my wife – and yes it would take some getting used to, my wife? Weird but fantastic all at once.

But I watched her, as she interacted with all of my family that had become hers, all of her family that had become mine. She looked more stunning than I ever remember seeing her.

Still after all this time, when the mystery should have been gone. She enchanted me more than ever.

Funny huh?

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Postby whatchagot4meMRJT » Thu Sep 08, 2005 9:44 am

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! :D :D :D :D :D That's all I manage to say after those chapters. What a beautiful wedding. That was the happiness that I so desperately needed after that other ending that we can no longer talk about. :wub: Justin really hooked that sh** up. Chris Martin! *FAINTS* *DIES* *SCREAMS*


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