Conan O'Brien-Heidi transcript - 3/1

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Postby admin » Fri Mar 02, 2001 4:23 am

>> conan: All right, everybody. We're back. My first guest is one of the most beautiful women in the world. She's currently all over the 'sports illustrated' swimsuit issue. And starting on march 7th, you can see her in the film 'blow dry.' Please welcome heidi klum.

[ Cheers and applause ]

>> conan: Thank you very much for coming on the program. You look beautiful.

>> Thank you.

>> Conan: You get that all the time, though.

>> Wel you know. I start very early --

>> conan: It does not take time for you to get beautiful. No, oh, yeah, when you came in to do the show, before they did makeup, you were like -- 'i am here. I am heidi klum.'

[ Laughter ]

>> exactly. And then i put a lot of stuff on, and they --

>> conan: Yeah, right.

>> And there i was.

>> Conan: Yeah, it's all makeup. Sure, yeah.

>> A lot of it is, yes.

>> Conan: Congratulations. Of course, again, the 'sports illustrated' swimsuit issue.

>> Thank you.

>> Conan: Looks fantastic.

>> I like it, too. Thank you.

>> Conan: Yeah, it's a great issue.

>> It's always a lot of fun. We travel the world and --

>> conan: Well, you know what? It used to be that they just took some photographs of women in one location. Now, they get more and more ambitious every year. Now you're like in antarctica wearing a bikini. And then you're in -- below the equator.

>> I'm glad I didn't go on that trip. That would've been cold.

>> Conan: Yeah. No, but it's amazing. It's very ambitious these days. And the photos are beautiful. Let's just show the audience quickly some of the photos. There's, of course, this photo right here.

[ Cheers ] it's beautiful. Yeah, it's very nice. Moving onto the next one -- very nice. Very nice. And moving on -- this is my favorite here.

[ Laughter ]

[ cheers and applause ] I thought that --

>> i like that one. He had a great time.

>> Conan: We had a great time, you and I. There was an amazing chemistry when i'm on a photo shoot.

[ Laughter ]

>> i know.

>> Conan: Look at me. I'm like, 'nyaaa!'

[ Laughter ] and look, my head is way out of proportion to my arm. Interesting.

[ Laughter ] I've gotta work on that.

>> You're a little white.

>> Conan: I'm what?

>> You're a little white.

>> Conan: You should see me when i really take my shirt off on the beach.

>> You have to, like, cube it up first. That's what I do.

>> Conan: They paint me. They paint muscles on my body.

[ Laughter ]

>> no, i do self-tanning before.

>> Conan: You actually do the self-tanning?

>> Yeah, i do it like three times, and i run around the house. I don't go in the sun that much anymore. So i just pile it on.

>> Conan: You put stuff on you and run around the house like an airplane.

[ Laughter ]

>> yeah, and it takes an hour. And then after an hour, ting! I'm ready, and i'm brown.

>> Conan: Okay. What do people think when they just see you through your apartment window, running around? To close the curtains and everything.

>> Conan: Good. You're, of course, a victoria's secret model.

>> Yes.

>> Conan: You've gotten a lot of fame doing that very successfully. I'm just curious -- of course, no one ever questions this in our society. We make lingerie for women. Has anyone ever said, 'let's make lingerie for men'? Let's make some kind of underthing to make men more, you know --

>> you know, you men out there -- what do they wear, right? They're like totally shredded into bits and pieces.

[ Laughter ] and by the time they throw it out, it's like months or years or who knows what.

[ Laughter ] like, 'when did I buy you that one? Like five years ago?'

>> Conan: Yeah. No, it's so funny, 'cause men are like --

>> we change underwear all the time, and you guys, I'm sure -- we don't wanna make a test or does anybody want to test what, I don't know, you're wearing today?

>> Conan: What's that?

[ Cheers and applause ]

>> right? I mean, women take care of themselves.

>> Conan: I don't wear underwear during the interviews. I --

[ laughter ] it relaxes me. I'll show you -- i'm wearing this kind. You know, this -- I'm pulling it up right now. This hurts.

[ Laughter ]

>> see, bloomers!

[ Cheers and applause ] the biggest bloome

>> conan: I wear the --

[ cheers and applause ]

>> victoria's secret!

[ Cheers and applause ] you know, by the size, i can tell -- by the size, i can tell how big and bloomy that one is. How long have you had that one?

[ Laughter ]

>> conan: What do you mean? They're not, like, big -- I'm not wearing big puffy diapers and running around --

[ laughter ] no, this is those kind of -- no, no, these are -- well, pulled it up over his shirt, adding to the puffy appearance. But --

[ laughter ] I mean, there's stuff goin' on down there.

[ Laughter ]

>> i'm sure!

>> Conan: I'm all man.

>> I don't wanna go there.

>> Conan: They're reinforced.

[ Laughter ] no, I like the kind that's -- sort of, it's not a boxer. It's not a brief. It's right in between. That's what I like.

>> But it's nice when you --

>> conan: Yeah, when you do that to me, it's great.

[ Laughter ]

>> it's nice --

>> conan: When heidi klum's there going like that, and i'm wearing my underwear, it's great.

>> You guys appreciate when you see us in beautiful lingerie, so maybe we would like, you know --

>> conan: It wouldn't be the same, I'm sure.

[ Laughter ] 'cause whenever you see a guy -- and back me up on this, ladies. Many women have told me that they hate it when men wear those, like, european speedos on the --

[ audience groans ] you know what I mean? It's like, 'ugh.'

>> But we didn't have to go that far. I was not talking speedos, you know? I was just talking general, normal underwear.

>> Conan: Oh, okay. Okay. All right, so just something nice?

>> Yeah.

>> Conan: Yeah, okay. Well, I'll, you know, model it, if you like.

[ Laughter ] you twist my arm, I'll do whatever it takes to please you. Now --

>> really?

>> Conan: Yeah. What are you doing right now?

>> Twist your arm.

[ Laughter ]

>> conan: Oh, okay. Oh, right. Okay. For a minute, I thought --

>> ding! Okay, good.

>> Conan: I thought you had snapped.

[ Laughter ] 'heidi klum goes insane on 'conan.' But jay's got blah, blah, blah.'

[ Laughter ] all right, let's talk about the movie 'blow dry.'

>> Yes.

>> Conan: This is a new thing for you. You're an actress in this movie.

>> Yes.

>> Conan: Are you excited? Was it fun to do? Did you enjoy it?

>> It was great. Yeah, it's a hairdressing competition movie. And I'm a hairdressing model. And I'm really crazy, very snobby and very all over the top. I kind of was feeling marilyn monroe wannabe, in a way.

>> Conan: And in the movie, you're playing someone who's married to a hairdresser.

>> Yes. Which I'm in real life.

>> Conan: And in real life, you're married to a hairdresser. And your mother's a hairdresser?

>> My mother's a hairdresser, too.

>> Conan: And your brother-in-law's a hairdresser.

>> Yes, he is, too.

>> Conan: So you must know a lot about hairdressing.

>> Yes.

>> Conan: Is it something you enjoy? Would you have like to have done that?

>> I gave, you know, a lot of my girlfriends perms and highlights. And, you know, the old way, when you put a bathing cap on with the holes, and you pull them through.

>> Conan: I know all about it.

[ Laughter ] I guess, yeah.

>> You'd need a little --

>> conan: What do I need?

>> Something --

>> conan: What are you talking about? I got the best hair in show business. What are -- what? You don't like that?

[ Cheers and applause ] hold on. Who's got this? This is crazy.

>> You know, i mean, 2001.

>> Conan: What would you do to this?

>> You could, like, shag it up a little bit.

>> Conan: Shag it up?

>> Yeah.

>> Conan: Well, have a go. Do you wanna have a go?

>> Go a little crazy. I could do something with that --

>> conan: Do you have stuff? Let me borrow that stuff. Just go crazy, yeah. This guy doesn't even work on the show. He's hanging out with hair products.

>> Do you mind if I mess it up?

>> Conan: No, go ahead. Is that all right?

>> I can, like, totally mess it up? I'll mess it up.

>> Conan: Okay, just go crazy here fwhat you think i should look like.

>> Well, first of all, i think

have to get rid of what is there, because there's a lot of stuff there.

>> Cthere's a lot of -- what are you talking a ]

>> well --

[ laughter ] fe, I would cut it a little bit and get it a little bit more spiky. But, i mean, since we're on the show --

[ laughter ] I'd say maybe --

[ laughter ] while we're at it, you know.

[ Cheers and applause ] a little teasing.

[ Applause ]

[ whistling ]

>> conan: Would you go easy on the spray a little bit?

[ Laughter ]

>> why?

>> Conan: Because my lungs are collapsing right now!

[ Laughter ] I can't seriously breathe. Okay.

[ Laughter ]

>> now, you see --

>> conan: She just blew on my forehead.

[ Laughter ]

>> conan: That was the best!

[ Laughter ]

>> very good.

[ Cheers and applause ] now --

>> conan: You know, can I just be honest? I dreamed of this moment right now often, but it didn't quite look like

[ laughter ]

>> conan: It's very nice. I've just given my wedgie, by the way.

[ Laughter ] I will have to adopt now, basically.

[ Laughter ] well, the movie --

>> see, in the movie --

>> conan: I'm gonna stick with this the rest of the show. I'm gonna try to.

>> I like that.

>> Conan: The movie is 'blow dry.'

>> Yes.

>> Conan: And it opens march 7th.

>> Yeah.

>> Conan: So make sure you go out and see it and --

[ laughter ]

>> i lik

>> conan: I don't care. I'm stickin' with it. Heidi klum gave it to me. I'm stickin' with it.

[ Cheers and applause ] jill hennessy coming up. We'll take a break. We'll be right back.

[ Chrs and applause ]

[ cheers and applause ]

>> conan: All right, everybody, we're back. Excellent show tonight. Coming up tomorrow night -- I love the idea that anyone who's tuning in right now doesn't know what the hell's going on.

[ Laughter ] from 'the sopranos,' edie falco and rapper snoop dogg, gonna

[ applause ] don't you do that again. All right. Ladies and gentlemen, there's a character who's been stopping by our show lately and people always seem really happy to see this guy. I'll tell you about him. He simply travels the world, handing out preparation h to anybody that wants it. Please welcome our good friend, preparation h raymond.

[ Cheers and applause ]

oh, listen up to what I'm singing

raymond's here raymond's here

i'm here to stop your butt from stinging

raymond's here to help

oh, if you have a vein that is distended

raymond's here raymond's here

apply this cream and you'll be mended

raymond's here to help

oh, do-do-do-doo

raymond's here raymond's here

[ cheers and applause ] hello, conan, your hair looks awesome.An: Thank you, raymond, yeah.

[ Laughter ]

>> would you like any preparation h?

>> Conan: No. No, raymond, i don't need any. But thank you.

>> Are you sure? You sit down an awful lot. And sometimes that can cause a nasty rhoid.

[ Laughter ]

>> conan: No, I'm fine, raymond. Thank you.

>> Okay, well maybe your guests would like some. Who's on the show? Oh, my goodness.

[ Sound of strumming harp ]

[ laughter ]

>> conan: Okay, raymond. Raymond, this is heidi klum.

>> Yes, I know who it is. Hello, lovely lady.

>> Hello.

>> I have a song just

oh, if it hurts to wear a thong

raymond's here raymond's here

i'll apply this cream the pain won's last long p

[ laughter ]

>> conan: Raymond, please

[ laughter ]

>> miss klum, I've seen all your pictures in the 'sports illustrated,' and you are the prettiest one.

>> Thank you.>> I'll keep that for later. You never know, right?

>> You never know, it's true. But he didn't want any. The fool.

[ Laughter ] you and I do know.

>> Conan: Stop ad libbing, raymond.

[ Laughter ]

>> miss klum, miss klum, I fantasize about your pictures.

>> Conan: Okay, raymond, stop.

>> No, it's true. I do fantasize about them, conan. But if only -- if only, heidi -- if only --

[ laughter yeah, I am sorry, baby. You're pretty and all, but you're just not what raymond needs. So you have that to remember me by and how about you give me a little kiss. Oh, yeah!

[ Cheers and applause ] thank you, heidi. Thank you, conan.

>> Conan: You can go. All right.

>> I just got kissed by heidi klum!

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