* No one pays attention until you mess up!
* 3 Kinds of people, those who can count and those who can't.
* Couldn't afford to fix my brakes so made my horn louder!
* Forget the phone, concentrate on driving!
* I love my country. It's the government that pisses me off!
* Always remember you are unique--just like everyone else.
* Born free but taxed to death.
* Out of my mind. Back in 5 minutes.
* I'm not as think as you drunk I am ossifer. (I'm not as drunk as you think I am officer!)
* If ignorance is bliss, why aren't a lot more people happy?
* Watch yourself or your reality check will bounce.
* As long as there are tests there will be prayer in public schools.
* My kid beat up your honor student.
* If 2 wrongs don't make a right, try 3.
* Let them that don't want none have memories of not getting any.
* The lottery is a tax on people who suck at math.
* Change is inevitable except from vending machines.
* It's as bad as you think and they ARE out to get you.
* 53.8 % of statistics are made up at the spot.
* Kids in the backseat cause accidents; accidents in the backseat cause kids.
* The subliminal message for the day is ........ ........ ....
* Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
* Fight Crime: Shoot back!
* Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
* It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.
* I don't brake.
* So many pedestrians, so little time.
* Let me tell you about my vow of silence.
* Only quitters go to rehab
* I am boldly going nowhere.
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