The Italiano tourist wrote a complaint letter to the Manager of a hotel in London. The letter read as follows:
Dear Signor Diretorre,
Now I am tella you the story how I was treated at your hotella. I am comma from Palermo as tourist to London and stay as a young man at your hotella. When I comma in my room I see no sh** in my bed. How can I sleep with no sh** in my bed? I calla down the receptione and tell: "I wanna sh**". They tella me "Go to the toillett". I said "No, no. I wanna sh** in my bed". They said "You betta not sh** in your bed, you sonnawab****". What is sonnawab****?! I go down to ristorante for breakfast. I order bacon and eggs and two pisses of toast. I getta only one piss of toast. I tella waitress and point to toast "I wanna pisss". She
tella me "Go to the toillett". I say "No, no. I wanna piss on my plate". she then say to me "You bloody fella better not piss on the plate, you sonnawab****". Second person who do not even know me and call sonnawab****! What is sonnawab****? Later I go dinner into restorante. Spoon and knife is laid but no fock. I tella waitress" I wanna fock", and shell tella me "Sure everybody wanna fock". I tell her "No, No. You don't understande. I wanna fock on the table". She then tell me "So you sonnawab****, wanna fock on the table? Get your ass outa here!" So I go to the receptione and ask for bills I no wanna stay in your hotel no more When I have pay the bills, the porter say to me "Thank you and peace be with you" I say "Piss on you too, you sonnawab****" I go back ti Italy! I never more comma stay in your hotella, you sonnawab****.
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