Find A Reason

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Postby whatchagot4meMRJT » Mon Nov 29, 2004 5:47 pm

*Unblocks your head* Sometimes it's best to take a break and come back to it a few hours later. I hope you get unstuck because I love this story. ^_^

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Postby IDIDTHEJRT » Tue Nov 30, 2004 11:55 am

<span style='color:red'>ok here's a little more... tell me whatcha think :D

I woke up to hear Jacob crying and a smile came over my face. Not that he was crying of course but that he was here, “What’s the matter baby?â€￾ I asked as I walked in the room and he stopped crying, he probably just had no idea where he was, “How are you feeling?â€￾
He smiled when he saw me, “Mommy wanna play?â€￾
I laughed as I held him in my arms and kissed his forehead, “Yes I do but I want you to tell me how you feel firstâ€￾
“Good let’s play!â€￾
“What do you want to play?â€￾
“Spider Man!â€￾ he said as he opened his mouth wide and giggled
“Ok well how about this… we’re going to get you some ice for that head, then give you your medicine and then make some yummy pancakes and then we’ll play?â€￾
“Noâ€￾ he shook his head, “First we play then yummy pancakes, no iceâ€￾
“Umm noâ€￾ I laughed as I picked him up and walked into the kitchen, “First pancakesâ€￾
“Okâ€￾ he said as I put him down and he started to walk out of the room, “I go get Haileyâ€￾
“Hailey’s not here sillyâ€￾
He stopped in his tracks for a couple seconds and then turned around, “Where she go?â€￾
“She’s with Daddyâ€￾
“Where daddy?â€￾ he asked, scrunching his eyes up
“Oh sillyâ€￾ I laughed as I got out the things to make pancakes, “Come sitâ€￾ he sat and I heard the door open, “Who’s that?â€￾
“Mommy!â€￾ I heard Hailey scream as she came running into the room
“Baby girlâ€￾ I smiled as I picked her up and kissed her forehead, “What are you guys doing here?â€￾
“We have to go to the doctorâ€￾ Justin said as I took a deep breath, why won’t he just drop it?
He’s so stubborn sometimes, “We can’t bring the kidsâ€￾
“I’ve got it covered,â€￾ he said with a smug smile as he took a bite of the pancakes I put in front of him
I shook my head; “I’m not leaving them with Traceâ€￾
“Neither am Iâ€￾ he smiled when Lonnie walked into the kitchen
“Sorry to just barge in, but no one was answering the doorâ€￾ he said with a smile, “How are you doing sweetie?â€￾ he asked me as he gave me a great bear hug, I can not even explain how happy I was to see him.
“Good, it’s so good to see you, how are you?â€￾
“Goodâ€￾ he smiled as Justin grabbed onto my arm
“Alright everyone’s good, let’s goâ€￾
“Wait I didn’t even eat breakfastâ€￾
“We’ll get somethingâ€￾
“I need to clean upâ€￾
“You’re stallingâ€￾ I’m not stalling…
“I’ll clean up, go Kimâ€￾ Lonnie said with a smile, oh no he’s on Justin’s side too? I think I’m the only one on my side right now
“Well I have to get them readyâ€￾ I said as I walked over to Jacob
“Mommy goâ€￾ even Jacob wants me to go
“Alright, I’m goingâ€￾ I said as I gave them each a kiss, “Bye guys, be good for Lonnieâ€￾
“They’re going to be angels let’s goâ€￾ Justin grabbed onto my arm and practically dragged me to the car
“This is so stupid we’re just wasting a whole dayâ€￾ he just looked at me and smiled, “I’m seriousâ€￾
“Why are you so stubborn?â€￾
“I’m not. It’s a waste of the whole dayâ€￾
“Oh did you have something more important to do? Like sit down at the beach or something?â€￾ he asked with that smug smile on his face
“Or play with my kidsâ€￾
“You can play with them when we get backâ€￾ he looked at me as he stopped at a red light
“No I can’t, you’re going to take them awayâ€￾ he looked back at the road and continued driving when I realized what I had actually said, “Wait, I didn’t mean…â€￾ he just nodded his head and we continued the rest of the way to the doctors in silence. We walked inside and waited for what seemed like forever for the doctor to actually see us. It’s always this place, when it’s such a life-changing event that you’re waiting to find out. I don’t know why we’re here it’s not happening. I think I would know if there was something growing inside of me. I knew with Hailey, I knew with Jacob, I’d know with another one.
“Mr. And Mrs. Timberlakeâ€￾ the nurse said as we followed her into room where we were left alone, waiting for the actual doctor to come in. I sat down on a chair with my arms crossed
“I can’t believe you’re acting so stubborn about thisâ€￾
“Oh I’m sorry, I should be happy to spend the day with you in this f***ing doctors office waiting to find out the answer to something I already knowâ€￾
“Yeah, because this is how I want to spend my day tooâ€￾ he said defensively, I guess I shouldn’t have said the part about how I don’t want to spend the day with him, even though I didn’t mean it that way
“Then why are we here?â€￾
“Because it’s better to be on the safe sideâ€￾
“Oh right totallyâ€￾ I said sarcastically, “Then after this let’s stop by your doctor and see if you have diabetes, just to be on the safe sideâ€￾ he took a deep breath and I continued, “Come to think of it we really should get you checked for some STDs while we’re here. I mean let’s face it, we know Leah isn’t the cleanest person in the worldâ€￾
“God Kimâ€￾
“God is rightâ€￾ I broke him off, “You better get on your knees and pray boy that you don’t have any diseases, we should have got you checked earlierâ€￾ I said as I grabbed a handful of M& Ms from the bowl on the counter
“I’m just going to pass this whole conversation off as stress and not take anything you’re saying seriouslyâ€￾
“Well maybe you shouldâ€￾ I said seriously when the door opened and the doctor walked in
“How are you guys doing?â€￾ the doctor said with a huge smile. I didn’t even look at her, this is so stupid.
“We’re goodâ€￾ Justin answered as I stuffed more M&Ms in my mouth
“Greatâ€￾ she smiled when I looked at her, “Well we’re just going to run some tests and we’ll find out if you’re going to have another additionâ€￾
After all those tests were done she left the room, leaving Justin and I alone, once again, “You’re acting like a 10 year oldâ€￾ I didn’t even look up at him to acknowledge his comment. I don’t care if I’m acting stupid; this is a waste of time.
“She’s going to come in here and say that we’re stupid and I’m not pregnant and that we’re wasting our day…â€￾
“Alright then, I’ll be ready for that conversationâ€￾ he paused, “I think you’re pregnantâ€￾
I gave him a look like he’s crazy and rolled my eyes, “Well next time you have a baby inside you and can tell me what it feels like then you can tell me you think we’re pregnantâ€￾
He laughed a little and threw his head back, “You’ll be the first one I tellâ€￾ I rolled my eyes and the doctor came back in.
Here it comes… the one word that will change our lives forever… “Congratulationsâ€￾ </span>

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Postby whatchagot4meMRJT » Tue Nov 30, 2004 12:19 pm

:yay: Yay for babies! Another little one is on the way! :yay: That was some nasty behavior at the doctor's office. I hate when they fight. :no: And the comment about Leah not being clean ... oooh, good one. :lol: That must've stung just a little to hear her being brought up again.

 â€œI’m not leaving them with Traceâ€￾
-- I wouldn't trust Trace with himself, let alone young children. :P :D :lol:

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Postby JTFan4Life » Tue Nov 30, 2004 5:49 pm

aww yay :D i'm so happy about the baby!! keep it coming!! ;)

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Postby IDIDTHEJRT » Sun Dec 05, 2004 9:43 pm


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Postby IDIDTHEJRT » Sun Dec 05, 2004 9:45 pm

<span style='color:blue'>thanks for the feedback
yay a baby lol
ok so I have finals this week, but they're not that bad... but then i'm going home friday so there may not be anymore for awhile like oh..... January something? but I'll try to do more this week just not sure :)
So anyway... leave a lot of feedback and I'll write more :P
here's some more......

“Congratulationsâ€￾ the doctor said with a smile, “The tests are positive, you are pregnantâ€￾ I felt a smile cover my face… we’re going to have another baby. Before I could say anything Kim stood up and walked out of the room, closing the door behind her, “Is everything ok?â€￾
“Oh yeah, everything’s fineâ€￾ I paused as I stood up, “Thanks a lotâ€￾ I said, unable to wipe the smile off my face
“Did you want to make an appointment for your next visit?â€￾
“Um, we’ll call you I guessâ€￾
“Ok, just make sure we set something up in the next few weeks we want to make sure everything’s ok with her especially with the complications from the last…â€￾
“Yeah, we will, thanksâ€￾ I said as I made my way outside of the office, and jogged my way outside. I don’t know where she is… I looked around and saw her sitting down on a bench in front of the car and sat down next to her. She was bent over, with her head in her lap, crying like she had just found out Santa wasn’t real, “It’s okâ€￾ I said as I sat down next to her, I wanted to hold her in my arms but I don’t think that would have helped at this point
“No it’s notâ€￾
“Yeah, of course it isâ€￾ I paused, “Baby, we always wanted a big familyâ€￾
“Not now though, oh God not nowâ€￾ she paused as she continued crying, “This is like the worse possible timeâ€￾
“No it’s…â€￾
She sat up and looked right at me and wiped her eyes, “I don’t want this to change anythingâ€￾
“What are you talking about?â€￾
“If you’re going to leave me I want you to still do it. I don’t want you to stay with me because of this baby because if we won’t be happy it’s not worth it. I don’t want this to change anythingâ€￾
“Kim, I…â€￾
“No, just… promise me it’s not going to change anythingâ€￾
I nodded my head, “I promiseâ€￾
She nodded her head, “Okâ€￾ she paused, “Let’s go home thenâ€￾
“Let’s go,â€￾ I said as I stood up and helped her to the car, opened up the glove compartment and handed her some Kleenex
“Thanksâ€￾ she said softly and I nodded my head.
As we drove back to the house I kept sneaking a glance at her. She’s so upset, this is supposed to be one of the happiest days of her life and she’s crying because she’s upset… it’s supposed to be tears of joy. She always wanted a big family, at least three kids, maybe even four.
I love you Kim. I would never leave you; I want to be with you forever. That’s why I married you. And I’d do it again in a heartbeat. I can’t even imagine my life without you. You make my life worth living… now if only I could grow the balls to say it aloud
“It’s going to be alright,â€￾ I said as I rested my hand on her lap
She nodded her head and looked away from her window and wiped her eyes, “Can we drive around a little? I don’t want the kids to see me like thisâ€￾
“Yeahâ€￾ I said softly as I continued driving, “You know Kim, you could come home… I mean if you want toâ€￾
She shook her head, “I don’t think that’s a good ideaâ€￾ she paused, “I think we both have a lot of thinking we need to doâ€￾ yes we sure do.
I nodded my head, “Alrightâ€￾ I paused, ‘so I’ll take the kids then?â€￾
“Yeahâ€￾ she said softly, “Do you mind? I just need some time aloneâ€￾
“Oh yeah, of courseâ€￾ After driving around for awhile I parked in the driveway, “It’s going to be alright Kimâ€￾
She nodded her head, “Do I look alright? Like you can’t tell I was crying can you?â€￾ I shook my head as we walked to the door, “Ok just act like everything’s ok. Everything’s great. Everything’s wonderfulâ€￾ I don’t know why I have to act like that, everything is ok, everything is great. Everything is wonderful. We’re going to have another baby; I don’t think there’s anything more wonderful. We walked into the house and the kids came running up to us. We stayed for a little while and then left so Kim could be alone, she needs time alone.
“Daddy how come Mommy’s not coming home?â€￾ Hailey asked as she took off her jacket once we got in the house
“She’s really busy she needs to be alone for a littleâ€￾
“Doesn’t she love us anymore?â€￾
“Of course she does Hailey, you know thatâ€￾
“I want mommy to come home,â€￾ Jacob said as he picked up a toy
“Me tooâ€￾ Hailey answered
“Me tooâ€￾ I said softly and took a deep breath, “OK, how about we get into our pajamas and then we watch some Sponge Bobâ€￾
I woke up I guess a few hours later to the phone ringing. “Hello?â€￾ I asked as I picked up the phone and turned off the now snowy television set as I climbed over the kids sleeping on the floor
“Hey, you were sleeping… I’m sorryâ€￾
“No, no it’s okâ€￾ I said as I walked upstairs, “What’s going on?â€￾
“I couldn’t sleepâ€￾ she paused, “There’s just so much going through my head right nowâ€￾ she paused again, “we need to figure out we’re going to doâ€￾ And we did… well kind of. We spent the whole night talking, trying to come up with a solution to this insane problem. We have a lot to take into consideration, what’s best for us, what’s best for the kids… and we need to tell them.
The next night Kim came over so we could sit down and actually talk to the kids for once. Although I’m pretty sure this isn’t going to be a talk they’re ready for. It’s going to kill them, but they need to know. As Kim walked into the house the kids went running to her, screaming her name, “My babies, I missed you,â€￾ she said as she kissed each of their foreheads and picked up Jacob, “Were you guys good for Daddy?â€￾ she asked and they nodded their heads, “Come on Hailey, let’s go in the living room me and Daddy have to tell you two somethingâ€￾
“We’re getting a puppy?â€￾ Hailey practically started to jump up and down… calm down there little one
Kimberly laughed slightly as she sat down on the couch, “Noâ€￾
“Ohâ€￾ Hailey said as she sat down next to her mother, “Can we though?â€￾
“No Hailey, stopâ€￾ I said as I sat down on the chair across from the couch
“Well why not?â€￾ she crossed her arms, “All my friends have puppiesâ€￾
“Like who?â€￾ I asked crossing my arms
“Everyoneâ€￾ she paused, “And it’s not fair I really want one, I’ll take good care of it and everythingâ€￾
“The answer is no Hailey, now stop. Mommy and I need to talk to you guysâ€￾ Everyone was quiet for a couple seconds, “Kimâ€￾
“Oh yeah, rightâ€￾ she said softly as she played with Jacob’s hair, “Ok, now before we say anything, you two know that we love you right? No matter what we love you two more than anything. And we’ll always be here for you even if we’re not in the same houseâ€￾ she began as she started to get teary eyed
“What Mommy means is that we love you two more than anything and nothing could ever change thatâ€￾?
“You guys know that right?â€￾
“Mommy why are you crying?â€￾ Hailey asked and then looked over at me nervously
“Mommy, no cryâ€￾ Jacob said as he stood up on her lap and wiped her eyes
“No, no I’m notâ€￾ she said as she kissed his forehead and sat him back down, “Thank you babyâ€￾
We should just tell them, it’s making it worse for everyone if we keep dragging it out………</span>


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Postby JTFan4Life » Sun Dec 05, 2004 10:12 pm

aww that's so sad that she's crying! her and justin really need to get back together - not for this baby but because they were just made for eachother! lol. they just really need to sit down and talk and justin really needs to tell her what he's feeling. i wonder how the kids are gonna take it! :unsure:

but anyways, great great job! love it :D

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Postby whatchagot4meMRJT » Mon Dec 06, 2004 8:58 am

:cry: :cry: Awww, no cry, Kim. :lol: That was such a sad chapter. I just want Kim and Justin and the kids to be live happily ever after. :( But it's good that they're going to attempt to tell the kids what has been going on. I'm sure that they're confused with the current living situation.

Good luck with your finals and have a great winter break. Come back to us with more whenever you get a chance. :hug:

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Postby IDIDTHEJRT » Wed Dec 08, 2004 10:38 am

<span style='color:red'>thanks for the feedback
Since I'm a loser and am all ready to study and instead I do this lol here's some more :D

“OKâ€￾ I said as I took a deep breath, “I know you guys are wondering why we’reâ€￾ I paused; I don’t know where I’m going with this. How am I supposed to explain to them why we’re living at different houses when I don’t even know?
“Well why we went out today and you guys stayed with Lonnieâ€￾ Justin said after seeing me struggle
“Noâ€￾ Hailey said as she moved over to Justin’s lap, “Uncle Lonnie tolded us you went to the doctorsâ€￾
“You needed a checkup,â€￾ Jacob said with a smile
“Noâ€￾ I smiled, “Well yeah kindaâ€￾ I said as I played with Jacob’s hair, “We’re going to um… have a little addition to our familyâ€￾
“What’s a little addition?â€￾
“Another personâ€￾ Justin said, “There’s going to be another member of our familyâ€￾
“We are getting a doggieâ€￾ Hailey jumped up on Justin’s lap
“No, we’re not getting a dog Hailey sit downâ€￾ Justin laughed
“How come?â€￾ she pouted, “How about a cat?â€￾
“How about noâ€￾
“A hamster?â€￾
“No sirâ€￾
“A bunny?â€￾
“No hunnyâ€￾
“A birdie?â€￾
“Noâ€￾ Justin said with a chuckle, “Nothing, would you stop and listen to your mother?â€￾
“A babyâ€￾ I said with a smile, “You’re going to have a little brother or sisterâ€￾
“That’s it?â€￾ Hailey asked as she stood up, “Again?â€￾
“Againâ€￾ Justin laughed
“Coolâ€￾ she said as she walked over to the television, “Can we watch Sponge Bob now?â€￾
I laughed as she put the DVD in. I can’t believe she’s not making a big deal out of this. I really thought she would, Jacob on the other hand, “So what do you think Jacob?â€￾
He took a deep breath, “When’s she comin? Tomorrow mornin huh? Do we haveta clean my room?â€￾
“Noâ€￾ I laughed, “Baby she or he is not coming for awhileâ€￾
“Ohâ€￾ he paused and threw his hands up, “OK den, I take good care of herâ€￾
“Ok, I know you willâ€￾ I smiled and hugged him tightly, “I love you so much Jacobâ€￾
“I love you too Mommyâ€￾
I woke up to a dark house, the only light from the snowy television set in front of me. I looked over to the clock, 1:30. How did I fall asleep? I stood up and made my way into the dark kitchen where Justin was standing in front of the stove cooking something, “What are you doing up?â€￾
“It’s only one,â€￾ he said not turning away from the stove
“Oh yeah, that’s rightâ€￾ he doesn’t sleep at normal hours, I guess it’s from all that touring time
“What are you doing up?â€￾ he asked as he placed and egg and cheese sandwich in front of me
“I don’t knowâ€￾ I paused, “I don’t know what I was doing sleepingâ€￾
He laughed slightly and sat down next to me, “You fell asleep during Sponge Bobâ€￾
“Uh I hate that movie,â€￾ I laughed as I cut my sandwich, “I’m seriously never going to forgive my parents for buying them thatâ€￾
“I’m surprised you still talk to themâ€￾ he said with a chuckle, “I say we get rid of itâ€￾
“We can’t just throw it awayâ€￾
“Of course we canâ€￾
“But they love it too muchâ€￾
“Soâ€￾ he laughed, “We’ll just say Hailey lost itâ€￾
“Noâ€￾ I laughed, “We’ll get them new moviesâ€￾
“Ok, we need to do thatâ€￾ he said as he took a bite of his sandwich
“Remember before we got married when being up this late was normal. And you’d make me this sandwich every night, after a show or after the night outâ€￾ I felt myself smile. It used to be an everyday occurrence. These sandwiches are so good. After a night out or something, especially after he had a show, we’d come home, or back to the hotel in many cases, and eat egg and cheese sandwiches, drink orange juice, and stay up all night talking about nothing and laughing about everything
‘Yeahâ€￾ he laughed, “I miss those daysâ€￾
“Yeah, me tooâ€￾
There were a few minutes of awkward silence, “So are you feeling better with everything?â€￾
“Yeah a little, thanksâ€￾ I paused as I took a sip from the orange juice in front of me, there were a few seconds of silence
“Well I think it’s a good thingâ€￾
I nodded my head, “Well I should probably get goingâ€￾
“Why don’t you just stay? You’re already here, it’s lateâ€￾
“No it’s okâ€￾ I said as I stood up, “But I will take this with meâ€￾ I smiled as I grabbed the sandwich, “Thanks, I’ll see you laterâ€￾
“Yeah, alrightâ€￾ he said as he followed me to the door, “Tomorrow? I mean I’ll see you tomorrowâ€￾
I nodded my head, “Byeâ€￾
I didn’t get much sleep that night. I haven’t got much sleep for the past month come to think about it. I guess I fell asleep for a couple minutes on the couch because I woke up to the sound of someone banging on the side door. I walked over and saw Rachael standing there, “Heyâ€￾
“Sleeping? At 3 o’clock in the afternoon? Crazy night?â€￾ she said with a grin
“Yeah something like thatâ€￾ I said as I walked into the kitchen and poured myself a cup of coffee, “What’s going on?â€￾
“Just thought I’d stop by and see how everything wentâ€￾
I shrugged as I played with the rim of the mug, “We’re getting a divorceâ€￾
I nodded my head, “I think we’re going to… I mean we have to do what’s bestâ€￾
“Ok wait, why would you say that?â€￾
“It’s been a month Rachâ€￾ I took a sip of my coffee, “When people separate it’s for like a couple days, a week tops. Then they realize they can’t live without each other and get back together. But the fact is that we can live without each other. It’s not fun. It’s not exciting. But it’s bearable. It’s hard. It’s hard for me to deal with it, but obviously it’s not for him so… I guess that’s how it’s going to beâ€￾
“It’s just hard because… well when I got married I never thought I’d be lonely again. It’s scary to think that I’m going to be alone for the rest of my lifeâ€￾
“It’s going to be ok Kimâ€￾
“I’m just afraid he’s going to want to stay together because of the baby. And that’s just going to make things harder…â€￾
“Wait… so you went to the doctors?â€￾ she smiled and I nodded my head, “And you’re pregnantâ€￾ I nodded again, “Oh my God, I told youâ€￾ she laughed, “Congratulations, that’s so greatâ€￾
“Yeah wonderfulâ€￾ I said sarcastically, “The best timing ever!â€￾
“Well maybe it isâ€￾ she paused, “Maybe it will make him come to his sensesâ€￾
“I think I’m the one that needs to come to my sensesâ€￾</span>

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Postby whatchagot4meMRJT » Wed Dec 08, 2004 10:59 am

Oh goodness, it seems like Kim is pushing more for the divorce than Justin. :unsure: I honestly don't think that's what he wants. Things can't stay as they are, and some kind of drastic chance is necessary, but I hope that she realizes the severity of a divorce. :blink:

I like how worried they were about telling the kids, and how easily they took to the news. In the mind of a child, Spongebob is way more important than a new baby. :lol: :P

Eating the egg sandwich in the kitchen early in the morning is the kind of sweet interaction that I wish they could go right back having on a daily basis. :(

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Postby IDIDTHEJRT » Thu Jan 06, 2005 7:00 pm

<span style='color:blue'>ok sorry it's been so long
here's some more
don't forget the feedback :)

“OK we have 10 new movies,â€￾ I said as we walked through the house, no more Sponge Bob, “What do you want to watch?â€￾
“Sponge Bob!â€￾ Jacob screamed as he ran to the TV
“Noâ€￾ I said as I picked him up and dropped him on the couch, “No Sponge Bob, we have new moviesâ€￾
He giggled as he stood up, “Sponge Bob 2?â€￾
“No we didn’t get thatâ€￾ thank god, “Hailey what do you want to watch?â€￾ she crossed her arms and looked away from me, “Haileyâ€￾
“I’m not talking to youâ€￾
“Why not?â€￾
“Cause I’m mad at youâ€￾
“Why are you mad at me?â€￾
“Cause I wanted Sponge Bob movieâ€￾
“Hailey we have 10 new movies. I’m pretty sure you’re going to find at least one of these that you’ll like better than Sponge Bobâ€￾
“No suhâ€￾
“Yeahâ€￾ I said as I grabbed the movies, “Charlie Brown, Monsters Inc., Shrek, Finding Nemo, Thomas the Tank Engine, Bob the Builderâ€￾
“Bob the Builderâ€￾ Jacob jumped up and started marching around the room, “Bob the builder can he fix it yes he can yes he canâ€￾
“Ok fineâ€￾ Hailey said as she sat down, “Bob the Builderâ€￾
“Bob the Builder it is,â€￾ I said as I put the movie in. I got through the first five minutes before I started having second thoughts. What’s with these movies with characters named Bob? This is worse than Sponge Bob, what happened to the good shows? When I was a kid there were good shows on TV, Fraggle Rock, He-Man, Rainbow Bright, Punky Bruster, Pee Wee Herman for God’s sake…why don’t they have those shows anymore? No, now we get this sh**, “Are you guys sure you don’t want to watch Finding Nemo? It’s really funnyâ€￾
“Remember the part where Nemo tries to get out of the tankâ€￾
“Daddy shh we’re watching Bob the builderâ€￾
“What about Shrek though. You know there’s a poster of daddy on the wall you knowâ€￾
“So?â€￾ I laughed, they don’t even care, why do I even bother, “So… well I guess nothingâ€￾ I heard a nock on the door and went to answer it to see Rachael standing there, “Hey, Kim’s at the beach houseâ€￾
“Yeah I know, I’m here to talk to you. Can I come in?â€￾
“Yeah, yeah of courseâ€￾ oh sh**, “Do you want a drink or anything?â€￾
“No thanksâ€￾ she said as she pulled something out of her bag, “I bought the kids a movie, I don’t know if they like Sponge Bob, but the guy at the store said kids love itâ€￾ I could see the picture of Sponge Bob before she even said it. WHY? Mental note: get rid of this guy at the store. I bet this punk ass kid thinks he’s funny selling all these damn Sponge Bob movies, at least Hailey won’t be mad at me anymore
“Yeah, thanks they love Sponge Bobâ€￾ I said as I sat down at the kitchen table, “So what’s up?â€￾
“What’s going on with you and Kim?â€￾
Why is she asking me what’s going on with me and Kim, her best friend? Wouldn’t you think she should find that out from her best friend, “Uh… what do you mean?â€￾
“Are you going to divorce her?â€￾ I think my mouth must have dropped, way to come right out and say it, “Are you?â€￾
I cleared my throat, “I uh…â€￾
“Yes or no Justinâ€￾
“Did anyone ever tell you that you should be a lawyer, I think you’re in the wrong profession Rachael?â€￾ I said with a slight chuckle trying to lighten the mood a little.
It didn’t work, she just stared right at me, no smile or anything, just those eyes staring right through me, “Are you or not?â€￾
I took a deep breath and threw my head back; “Of course notâ€￾ I paused, “Well… I don’t know. I don’t want toâ€￾
“Then don’tâ€￾
“It’s not that easyâ€￾
“Yes it isâ€￾
“Oh reallyâ€￾ I laughed slightly, “Trust me, as someone who is going through it right now, easy is defiantly not something this whole situation isâ€￾
“And the hard part is?â€￾
“Everythingâ€￾ I paused, “there’s a lot of sh** to think about. I have to do what’s right for everyone. I have to do what Kim wants. I don’t want to be away from her, but obviously she’s fine with us being apartâ€￾
“Oh please Rachael, I’ve asked her to stay home every night for the past week. And every night I get the same answer. If she wanted to be with me she would stayâ€￾
“You have got to be kidding meâ€￾
“I’ve tried to talk to her about it. Every time I say anything even remotely dealing with our relationship she leaves. I don’t want to divorce her but if it’s what she wants I have to do it. I’m not going to force her to be with me when she’s not going to be happyâ€￾
“You two seriously have to be the dumbest people I have ever metâ€￾ she stood up, what the hell is she talking about
She laughed, “Did you ever think that maybe you should have this conversation that we just had with your wife? I’m pretty sure if you would tell her what you just told me then a couple things would be settledâ€￾ she said as she grabbed her bag and walked to the door
“Rachael what are you talking about?â€￾
“Your wife is sitting at your beach house, all alone, wondering what she did wrong to make her husband, the man she loves more than anything else in the world, want to divorce her. She is convinced she’s going to get a visit from your lawyer about a divorce, and contemplating the way she’s going to spend the rest of her life alone. Talk to your wifeâ€￾ she said before walking out the door. She’s right

ok that was real short lol sorry</span>

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Postby whatchagot4meMRJT » Fri Jan 07, 2005 9:08 am

Rachael is 100% correct, on target, hit the nail on the head perfectly. Except, Justin and Kim can't seem to get to that point where they actually have a serious discussion about their marriage, divorce, etc. Someone always ends up fighting or leaving. :( I really do think they'd regret getting a divorce, so that's why I don't want it to happen. :no: :lol:

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Postby IDIDTHEJRT » Sat Jan 22, 2005 12:58 pm

<span style='color:red'>ok sorry it's taken so long
thanks for the feedback

I found myself sitting on the deck, listening to the waves crash on the beach a few yards in front of me. It is now pitch black, it seems as if the sky had just opened up, throwing buckets of rain on top of me. I moved over to the table where I sat under the umbrella, trying to get away from the rain that had already drenched me. I pulled the hood of my sweatshirt over my head and held the warm cup of hot chocolate close to me. I need time to think, but that’s all I’ve had is time. My brain isn’t working anymore, there’s only so much I can think about, and I’ve done all that thinking the first two hours after we split. I want to be with him. I took a sip from the cup in front of me and rested my feet on the chair across the table. I really think we are going to get a divorce, and I don’t think I’m going to be able to deal with that. I can’t be away from my kids, even if it’s only a couple days a week. And I can’t deal with Justin being with other people. It’s like without him my life isn’t worth living. And it’s so sick that I feel that way. It’s not the 1950s anymore; I know physically I can survive without a man in my life. But mentally, I don’t know if I can survive without THAT man in my life. I need to just tell him everything I’m thinking. We’ve always been open, and able to discuss everything, but it’s like everything has changed. Neither one of us has really talked about this whole thing, and I mean really talk about it.
As if on cue Justin walked through the sliding glass doors behind me, “Heyâ€￾ he said softly, sitting down next to me under the umbrella
I looked over at him, his hood was pulled over his face too, “Heyâ€￾ I said looking out to the ocean, or into the darkness, “Where are the kids?â€￾
“My mother’s watching themâ€￾
“Oh, I didn’t know she was hereâ€￾ I looked over at him and he nodded his head, looking out into the darkness. I hate this. I hate the way we’re hardly talking; it’s not supposed to be like this. We sat for a while, neither of us saying anything, or even looking at each other. He must have come for something, he’s probably thinking about how he’s going to tell me… something, either that he hates me or he loves me, I guess it’s fifty fifty. I took a deep breath after placing the cup of hot chocolate on the table, “Ok, this is stupid, we need to talkâ€￾ I said as I looked over at him
He nodded his head and then moved his chair a little so he was facing me more, “I know. Look, Kim, I’m… umâ€￾
“No wait, let me go first please?â€￾ he nodded his head, I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, trying to sort all my thoughts out, although everything was a blur… ok here we go, “I have so much I want to tell you and I can’t remember any of itâ€￾ I said as I dropped my head into my hands
“It’s okâ€￾
“It’s ridicules is what it isâ€￾ I took a deep breath, “I want to hate you so bad sometimes, but I can’t. Sometimes I just want to hate you so much but I can’tâ€￾ oh great here come the tears, “And it sucks because sometimes Justin you do things that I should hate you for, or at least dislike you a real lot, and I never do. And it’s sickâ€￾ I paused, “And I know you hate me sometimes and that sucks because I don’t hate youâ€￾ what am I even saying? I don’t even understand myself
“Kim, I don’t hate you. I never have and I sure as hell never willâ€￾ he rested his hand on my lap
“I know, I’m just…â€￾ I put my hand on his, “I’ve been thinking about it a lot, I mean obviously, I honestly can’t find one good reason for us to divorce. Even though I know you have Leah, and she’s like everything you’ve ever dreamed of, but I can…â€￾
“Wait, Kim, I don’t have Leah. It was a mistake, the biggest mistake I’ve ever made, and I think about that every day. I can’t hear her song on the radio or see her face in a magazine without wanting to shoot myself in the headâ€￾ well that was kind of a relief, to actually hear it coming from his lips
I nodded my head and wiped my eyes before speaking again, “it’s just… like… what went wrong… it’s over, and it can be forgiven and forgotten. Because it’s not worth it… for me… without you it’s not even worth livingâ€￾ I said actually looking at him for the first time, “Sometimes, like when I’m sleeping, the few hours I actually sleep, I wake up and I’m crying, or I just scream out your name, like it’s all a nightmare or something, and all I want is for you to be there next to me.â€￾ I paused, the tears were now taking over, I could hardly speak, “What right does she have to take you away from me? For so long you were mine. What gives her the damn right to take your heart away?â€￾
“Oh sh** Kim, it’s not like thatâ€￾ I looked over at him and saw a tear falling down his cheek, “my heart was not involved in that sh**. Kimberly you’ve had my heart since the second I laid eyes on you, that was never a questionâ€￾
“I can think of so many reasons for you to stay with me, I mean here’s two right off, he’s two and she’s four and you know how much they love you. How can we tell them that you’ve changed your mind?â€￾
“God Kim, are you even listening to me? I don’t know what else to say. I did not change my mind Kimberly. It was never like that, godâ€￾ he said as he threw his head in his hands and took a deep breath, “I don’t know what else to say. It was the stupidest thing I’ve done in my life, at the time I wasn’t thinking. I hadn’t seen you in so long, I was lonely, and I’m not making excuses it’s just how it is. We were fighting, every time we were together or talked to each other it ended up with one of us screaming or hanging up the phone. It was me getting away from it or something, I don’t know. I still don’t know what the f*** I was doing I wish I did, I wish I thought about it before I ruined everyone’s livesâ€￾
“Yeah me tooâ€￾ I said as I wiped my eyes with the palm of my hands, “So why has it taken us so long to actually talk?â€￾
“Because we’re both stubborn,â€￾ he said with a slight chuckle
I laughed a little and wiped my eyes again, “How are the kids? Jacob’s lip ok?â€￾
“Yeah, they’re fineâ€￾ we were both silent for a couple seconds, I hate the silence, “Ok I hate the silenceâ€￾ he said… ok apparently I’m not the only one
“I know me too, so now what?â€￾
“I don’t knowâ€￾ he paused for a second and then moved his chair so he was facing me, “Alright well listen, I want you to take me back… and I promise that I’ll work less and spend more time at home and we’ll talk moreâ€￾ he paused again, “I’m not stupid, I’m realistic and I know that things are going to be hard, just like they always have been but we can make it through them just like we always have. We’ve never run away from things and I don’t know what happened to us to turn us both into Forrest Gump or somethingâ€￾ he stopped and grabbed onto my hands, “But damnit Kimberly I love you so much. I don’t know how I’ve been able to live this past month without you. It’s been hell. You’re not the only one waking up in the middle of the night. Every damn night I wake up and wonder why I don’t hear you breathing next to me, half the time I f***ing walk around the house looking for youâ€￾ I felt myself smile, “I love you so much Kimberly. I’m so sorry, I can’t say it enough. We’re just being so stupid. I can’t even believe you think that I wouldn’t take you back. We’re in this whole ordeal because of meâ€￾
“Yeah but I thought you hated meâ€￾ I stopped when I realized how stupid I was, “I just thought you were over it, you wanted to move on or somethingâ€￾
“Kim I could never hate you. I love you, I love everything about you. I love the way you are, I love the kids you’ve given meâ€￾ he paused, “Damnit Kim will you just come home?â€￾</span>

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Postby whatchagot4meMRJT » Sat Jan 22, 2005 1:34 pm

And Kim better say yes, dammit. :lol: I really am happy that they are talking, as in meaningful, thoughtful "we're gonna get through this no matter what" talking. Looks like they're going to be okay after all ... you had me worried for a long time, though.

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Postby Bri_Angel » Sun Jan 23, 2005 9:36 am

WOW. I know I'm a little late on the commenting, but I LOVE this story. <One of the best fan fics i've read. Keep it going!

Update, please!

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Postby ashleybull » Sun Feb 13, 2005 12:06 am

i love this story so much i couldn't let it fall off update soon please!

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Postby IDIDTHEJRT » Tue Feb 15, 2005 9:06 pm

thanks I'm glad you like it. I've been crazy busy school is kicking my ass. I'm gonna try to write soon but i've been crazy but thanks :D

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