In A New York Minute

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BabyBlue2578
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Postby BabyBlue2578 » Wed Oct 20, 2004 11:39 pm

<span style='color:gray'>Well I'm depressed about this game, so y'all will have to forgive me for this chapter. :no: But I'm trying to stick to my promise, so here we go. :unsure:

Oh, and Rani, you officially SUCK. :P</span>

<span style='font-family:Times'><span style='font-size:11pt;line-height:100%'><span style='color:red'>
13 – The Last One

It was love at first sight
I know from the way she looked at me
Her eyes said it all
Long days and nights we spent
Until she dropped the bomb on me
When she said that she was unhappily married with children


Married. Can you f***in’ believe that sh**? All that time, Dawn James was a motherf***in’ married woman. The one time that I allowed myself to open up and genuinely adore something other than the goddamn Red Sox, it ends up being out of my reach. And it’s not like she just had a boyfriend. She’s married. With a kid. That’s just basically ripping my heart out and playing f***in’ kickball with it.

It hurt so bad, for sure
Because she wants to be with me
But she cannot be with me
She chose to stay at home
So they could be a family for the children
But what about me?


It’s been about a month since DJ and I went our separate ways. I’ve thought about her every single day since then. I’ve worked overtime just so I can avoid seeing her during the day. Joey said she came up to the office one Friday while I was at the NYSE headquarters. I knew it wouldn’t be easy to forget about it all, but it’s hard to even stop remembering.

I wish I never met her at all

I get into these moods where my mind wanders and I overanalyze sh**. I wonder what we could’ve been if she hadn’t been married. I think about how f***in’ awesome we would’ve been together if I’d just told her to leave her husband. I envision life with her and her son, living with me and us being our own little familial unit. But then, my mind starts to drift into how difficult sh** would be and I start to resent the entire notion. I convince myself that I’d rather live the simplicity of single life than to be tied down by a wife and kid that don’t even belong to me. And then, that’s when I think of my mother. It all goes downhill from there. My whole thought process goes from innocently content to some overzealous form of anger. I’d look at Dawn and only be reminded of the pain that me and my dad went through when my mother walked out on us. I can say that I understand DJ’s position, and even empathize with it, but I just don’t think I’m willing to be a part of it.

Even though, I love her so and she’s got love for me
But she still belongs to someone else


It’s a cold ass snowy December Saturday and I vowed that I’d make some sort of effort at Christmas shopping before Christmas Day actually got here, so today, I’m heading down to 34th Street to see what I can find. I pulled on my jacket, perched my baseball cap over my head and left my apartment to greet the fury of holiday crowds as optimistically as I could.

+++++

I had been in and out of damn near every store around, not knowing what the f*** I was looking for, but knowing that I had yet to find it. You’d think with all the people bustling back and forth down the streets, a little body heat would radiate through the city, but it was cold as f*** and nothing parading down the sidewalk along with me was helping that sh**, either. Tired and frustrated, I snuck inside of Manhattan Mall for a little heat and hopefully some inspiration as to just what to buy my dad, and maybe even Dawn for Christmas. I was passing Brookstone when my cell phone vibrated vehemently against the side of my stomach from inside my jacket pocket.

“Hello?â€￾ I answered, having not recognized the number received.

“Justin?â€￾

I stood still in the middle of the mall walkway trying to place the familiar voice but failing miserably. “Who is this?â€￾

“It’s your mother.â€￾ I glanced at the screen for a second time to check the number, finding a 212 area code. I was sure that it couldn’t be my mother, because that would me that… “I’m in New York,â€￾ she added.

“And?â€￾

Her voice was airy and seemed fragile – nothing like a Boston native. “And I wanted to see you, Justin.â€￾

“What for? We have nothing to say to each other.â€￾

“Well, I know you hate to recognize it, but you are my son and I do love—“

“How about you don’t go there, all right? I’m busy, so maybe some other time.â€￾

“Justin. Please.â€￾

I sighed heavily and looked around the large, crowded mall. I gazed at the couples, so f***ing happy-looking you could choke on the cheese; the families scurrying in and out of stores with their handfuls of bags and armfuls of kids; the big groups of friends – half of them have less than a dime in their pocket, but still look on top of the world. I didn’t fit into any of those categories. I was alone.

“Justin, are you there?â€￾

“Yeah.â€￾

“Can you meet me somewhere?â€￾

“After six years, I guess we’re due for another meeting.â€￾ Tis’ the f***in’ season, I guess. “Where do you wanna meet?â€￾

+++++

An hour and a half later, I was sitting at Starbucks inside of Macy’s across from my mother. I, Justin Timberlake, was sitting with Lynn Timberlake, or Harless – whatever – I was having coffee with my motherf***in’ mother. Apparently, miracles really do happen on 34th Street.

“So are you seeing anyone?â€￾ We’d basically been giving each other interviews, serving as an update on our lives. I guess I should’ve prepared for that one.

I looked down to the table and watched the steam rise from the tiny hole in the top of my cup. “No.â€￾

“No?â€￾

I looked back at her, staring at the top of her straight blonde hair to avoid her eyes and repeated myself. “No, I’m not seeing anyone.â€￾

“Oh. I see.â€￾

“Is there a problem with that?â€￾

“Not at all. I’m just surprised that someone as handsome as you doesn’t have a girlfriend.â€￾

“Well I guess I’m just not the girlfriend type,â€￾ I retorted. “How’s Phil?â€￾

“I’m sorry?â€￾

“Your new husband.â€￾

“His name is Paul and he’s been my husband for fourteen years, Justin.â€￾

No sh**. “You don’t have to throw it in my face, Lynn.â€￾

She turned away from me and took sips from her cup. “I’m sorry.â€￾

“For what?â€￾

“For being inconsiderate. Why don’t we talk about something else?â€￾

“Why?â€￾

“Because I didn’t want this to be a confrontational meeting. I just wanted to see my son.â€￾

“Well you’ve seen me, so does that mean I can go now?â€￾ I rose from my chair and started to replace my jacket.

“Justin, please don’t do this.â€￾

“Do what?â€￾

“Leave.â€￾

“Oh, you mean like you did to me? Don’t walk away like you did to dad?â€￾

Her blue eyes met mine and cried out for forgiveness, and as much as I want to, I’m just not ready to have mercy. “Don’t make me beg.â€￾

I sat back down heatedly and peered at her. “You should beg. You should know how it feels to not have control over someone’s reaction to your own f***ed up choices.â€￾

“I was wrong. But if you push me away, how does that make you any better than me?â€￾

Now she wants to be a mother. “I – it doesn’t.â€￾

“So can’t we start over? Try again?â€￾

“No!â€￾ I shouted. I knew people were beginning to stare at us, but at that point, I didn’t care.

“I never meant to hurt you or your father,â€￾ she whispered.

“Well you did. What gave you the right to find someone else?â€￾

“There’s no excuse for it. Your father was just always so busy working and I was alone and unhappy. I wanted something new – a friend, and I found it in Paul.â€￾

As I sat there listening to her try to justify her actions, déjà vu settled in and it was like listening to Dawn’s speech all over again. I wondered how the same goddamn thing could happen to me twice in one lifetime. What they said made sense to me, but it didn’t excuse it at all. How do you forgive the unforgivable?

“Your father has forgiven me and moved on with his life. Why can’t you?â€￾

“He was a man when you left him. It hurt him, but he could handle it. I was nine. How the f*** do you look a kid in the eyes and say that you’re choosing a stranger over him and expect him to cope with that?â€￾

“Justin, that’s not what I did. You didn’t want to be a part of my life.â€￾

“Stop making excuses! You f***ed it all up! You’re the one that left!â€￾

“I know that, but I can’t take it back. I would, honestly, if I could. But we can move on from that point, Justin. You just have to be willing to take that step with me. I know that your father taught you forgiveness.â€￾

I took a deep breath and shook the tears that were stinging the back of my head. She was right. My father did teach me forgiveness. He also taught me to forgive the right people, and I decided fourteen years ago that she wasn’t one of them. “You’re right,â€￾ I finally replied. “He taught me that forgiveness was a gift to be bestowed upon only those that are deserving of it.â€￾ I got up from my seat once again and looked down to her. “And as much as I want to, I can’t find a reason good enough to give you that gift.â€￾

She used the nail of her index finger to stop her tears from showing and used a napkin to wipe at her nose. “I’m your mother, Justin. You should love me enough to--â€￾

“No. I don’t know you. I don’t love people just because I’m supposed to. I love them because they elicit sentiment and reciprocate emotions. I’ve come to understand why you did what you did all those years ago, but I can’t forgive those actions without a justifiable reason. So maybe you should just head on back to Boston.â€￾

“But—“

“And on your way back, if you happen to pass anyone resembling a mother, tell her that I could use one.â€￾ Finally, with closure, I picked up my cup of hot chocolate, and headed towards the exit.

I was about five steps from escaping the confines of Hell that were contained in that particular Starbucks when the unmistakable sound of Dawn’s laugh tickled my audible range. I turned in the direction of the sound to see her engaged in animated conversation with whom I assumed to be Sky. I smiled at the sight. That’s how a mother and son should be – not the broken mess that my pitiful mother and me are ever-evolving into.

I backtracked to where DJ and Sky sat, willing and ready to say something. It was also then that any buoyancy that I had left in me was destroyed by the appearance of a tall, black man, resembling some form of LL Cool J. He sat down next to Sky and smiled with Dawn. I can only presume that that’s her husband. I should walk around with my heart in my hand so that people can just take a stab at it when they want. Dejected and torn, I turned back towards the exit and headed into the men’s section of the department store.

Run, running all the time

“Justin!â€￾ I was almost sure that it was DJ’s voice calling me, but my luck would have it that it was only my mother being annoying and ignorant again. “Justin, I know you hear me, b****!â€￾

I smiled to myself, knowing only Dawn would shout that across a store. I stopped in my tracks and turned around to see her walking towards me, beaming. “Hey,â€￾ I murmured.

“Hey! What was up with that in there?â€￾

“What?â€￾

“In Starbucks. You were like 2 seconds from the table and then disappeared.â€￾

“Well, I saw your husband and I thought I should back off.â€￾

She looked at me knowingly and rolled her eyes playfully. “Why have you been avoiding me at the office then?â€￾

“Look, Dawn, I’m just really not in the mood for us to move on and pretend this sh** never happened.â€￾

“That’s cool.â€￾

“So maybe I’ll see you around.â€￾

“No,â€￾ she answered, pulling me through the store with her. “I wanted to talk to you – see how you were doing.â€￾

“I’m okay.â€￾

“So guess what?â€￾ she smiled, punching me in the arm.

“What?â€￾

“I got into law school, motherf***er!â€￾

“For real?â€￾

“Yup! Thanks to you!â€￾ She enclosed her arm over my neck and put me into a headlock, kissing my forehead in the process. “And Michael is helping me pay for what the scholarship stuff doesn’t cover.â€￾

“Michael… Jackson?â€￾

“No,â€￾ she cackled. “Sorry, my um—“

“Oh.â€￾

“Yeah,â€￾ she sighed. “So, I wanted to thank you and sh**.â€￾

“Oh,â€￾ I smiled meekly, wondering why we were walking in circles and not saying a goddamn thing.

“Okay, this is weird and I don’t like holding my tongue, so I’m just gonna say it and hope your reaction is a good one.â€￾

“What’s up?â€￾

She bit her lip and smiled at the ceiling. “We’re getting a divorce.â€￾

“Why?â€￾

“It has nothing to do with you. Like I told you before, we just weren’t happy. And we decided that it’s unfair to raise Sky in an unhappy home.â€￾

I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want to jump for f***ing joy, but it seems wrong to be elated about something so negative. “That’s true.â€￾

“Some people are just meant to be friends, I guess. Me and Michael have gotten along so much better since we’ve been separated.â€￾

“As in ‘officially separated’?â€￾

“Yeah. Me and Sky moved into a place in Park Slope near his school and he’s with his daddy on the weekends.â€￾

“Wow.â€￾

“See that’s what happens when you ignore me for a month. All kinds of changes going on.â€￾

“I wasn’t ignoring you,â€￾ I laughed. Not maliciously.

“Save it. I don’t even care about the past. I’m just hoping you don’t either.â€￾

“What are you trying to say here, Dawn?â€￾

“Look, man, we’re good together. You know that, I know that. Hell, Mike knows that. I just need to know that you can forgive me.â€￾

I flinched at that word. Forgive. It’s just not something that I’ve mastered yet. I didn’t answer her but continued to walk past the same racks of suits that we’d been by at least four times by now.

“If you don’t, then I can leave you alone and we can stop making ourselves dizzy here,â€￾ she joked.

I chuckled lightly and stopped in front of the Lacoste shirts’ section. “I don’t know what to say.â€￾

“You can say, ‘Yes, Dawn, I’m willing to move on because I forgive you and I love you as much as you love me.’â€￾ She waited for me to respond but my head was saying too many things at once. “Any time now, Justin.â€￾

“I do love you. And I do want to move on. But—“

“But you can’t forgive me.â€￾

Running to the future with you right by my side
Me, I’m the one you chose
Out of all the people, you wanted me the most


It’s amazing to me how hard is it to not hold a grudge; not contain that shred of resentment that could eventually tear us apart. There’s also that overwhelming amount of happiness that I have when she’s around. I love her and I can admit that. Maybe this is what my dad was talking about when he said that I had to learn to forgive the right people.

And I’m so sorry that I’ve fallen
Help me up, let’s keep on running


“No.â€￾

Her facial expression dropped and she blinked slowly in disappointment. “I see.â€￾

“No, I can forgive you. I’m just not sure that you’ve given me a reason to,â€￾ I smiled.

Her eyes grew wide and her smile stretched from ear to ear. “If I f*** you up, will that be a reason?â€￾

“No, that’ll be a reason for me to kick your ass.â€￾

Don’t let me fall out of love

She took hold of my hand and entwined her fingers with mine before quickly kissing the tops of my knuckles. “Thank you.â€￾

“No, thank you,â€￾ I grinned. “Thank you for giving me a reason to try.â€￾

Be the one I need
Be the one I trust most
Don’t stop inspiring me


“You’re sure you want this?â€￾ she asked. “You’re not gonna wake up in two months and hate me all of a sudden, are you?â€￾

“Well, I just might. But if I know you, you’ll find some way to make me love you again.â€￾

Sometimes it’s hard to keep on running
Work so much to keep it going
Don’t make me want to give up


“Wow, flattery. I really did change your ass, huh?â€￾

We completed the circling of the men’s department one last time before heading back towards the entrance to Starbucks. “That wasn’t a compliment. That was just an example of just how anal you can be.â€￾

“You think that’ll work for or against us?â€￾

Running, as fast as we can
Do you think we’ll make it?
Running, keep holding my hand
So we don’t get separated


“Could go either way. But I swear to God if you lie to me ever again, Dawn.â€￾

“I sweah to Gahd, I’ll never lie to you again,â€￾ she giggled. “Unless I tell you I like the Sox to get out of an argument. Nice hat, by the way.â€￾

I tapped the tip of my Yankees cap and smiled for the millionth-f***ing-time since I met her. And I’m so-f***ing-glad I did.


Final


Lyrics: "I Wish" - Carl Thomas (Emotional)
"Running" - No Doubt (Rock Steady)</span></span></span>

<span style='color:gray'><span style='font-family:bradley hand itc'><span style='font-size:12pt;line-height:100%'>Yes, the coveted ending. I can't thank you guys enough for reading this. Your replies have elicited so much creativity and inspired me to write like crazy whenever I got the chance. I honestly appreciate every single solitary piece of feedback I've received from y'all. :blowkiss:

As for the next story, I'm pretty sure that I'm not gonna post it here just because with the million characters and the numerous colors I'll have going on, it will get annoying to have to repost. :lol: But it'll be on my special little site, so y'all can check that out and email me with any constructive criticism you have. ^_^ You can meet the cast members http://rockstar.tasting-eden.com/sr_index.htmhere if you haven't already. But enough of me rambling. Last one. Feedback! :kiss:</span></span></span>

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justins bubbles
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Postby justins bubbles » Thu Oct 21, 2004 2:04 am

<span style='color:blue'>Funny how I go from last to read everything to FIRST to finish! :yay: Ash this was an awesome story an I'm glad that Justin finally got a good girl and a good ending! lol I think I fell in love with the ass too... especially when he was wearing a Yankee hat. ^_^ Sounds JUST like the guy from high school.... suddenly he started wearing a Yanks cap too... :shrug: Weird. :lol: Can't wait for the next!</span>

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whatchagot4meMRJT
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Postby whatchagot4meMRJT » Thu Oct 21, 2004 7:47 am

:notworthy: :notworthy: :notworthy: :notworthy:

Ash, the ending of your stories is always a bittersweet experience for me. I'm so relieved that Dawn and Justin actually got their sh** in check and can try this crazy thing called love one more time. :yay: But then I'm sad that I won't get to read this story anymore. You seriously have to go all Bubs on us and write a never-ending story. They say that we need to read when we're old to avoid Alzheimer's, so please be working on that one story that I can still be reading and loving when I'm 80 years old. I know that you'd do that for me. :please: :lol: :kiss2: That's what friends are for. :whistle: :rofl:

Mama and Justin have a lot of forgiving and forgetting and moving on to do. Dawn is going to need to be by his side and help him through that pain. There is still so much unresolved emotion and turmoil in that relationship. :( :(

Another stellar story!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can't wait for Surreal World, particularly b/c it's in D.C. :yay: Another place I LOVE! :yay:

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sexyirishgurl
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Postby sexyirishgurl » Thu Oct 21, 2004 9:01 am

:) wow im totally blown away i dont wat to say couldnt of asked for a better endin it was so sweet.wat a great story ,thank god they got together in the end.u have such a way with words girl.im gonna go n read this from strt to end tonite again,it was that gud.thanx for writin it n keepin me entertained .i truely loved it.and cant wait for surreal world i just checked out the cast ,thats quite a cast list u got going on ther.cant wait for it shud b amazing as usual. :wub: :kiss:

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PreCiouSbAbY
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Postby PreCiouSbAbY » Thu Oct 21, 2004 4:17 pm

U officially suck! Justin wearing a Yankees cap! :no:

Justin u traitor! :lol:

Good story, loved the characters. The ending was good too :nod:

however...yankees still suck :P

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jts_senorita
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Postby jts_senorita » Fri Oct 22, 2004 10:20 pm

Aw, wow. That was an awesome story. And I'm happy there was a happy ending... Anyways. I'll definitly be reading the next one!

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Postby JTnTN » Sat Oct 23, 2004 12:09 pm

Yo, Ash that was an absolutely brilliant story. I loved every word. Even the bad ones like Boston and Red Sox. :lol: :notworthy: I grovel at your feet once again. :notworthy:

I wish that Justin would've opened up his heart just a little more to let his mother in, but I know that these things take time, and I MUCH rather he forgive Dawn than that old whore of a mother of his. ^_^

And :yay: for Dawn getting into law school! Ash, this is officially my new favorite story. And just so I'm clear, the Yanks did win your ALCS series, right? :unsure:

:lol: LOVES IT! :kiss:

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Angelpopstar7
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Postby Angelpopstar7 » Sun Oct 24, 2004 9:35 pm

awww see now it is over....i knew it was coming i was just predicting the future :rofl: I swear i would have been sooner but Friday i was having some major personal problems i guess that's what you'd call it...i dunno what to call it, Saturday was homecoming so there's no way i'd be online :rofl: and today well i was out and about all day :rofl: but i'm here now so thats all that counts :yay:

I must say that this is one of my fav stories you've ever written :nod: I loved alllllllll of the characters :nod: and i loved how you morphed justin from this playboy to like being hurt by one woman...like you know what i mean? i think that whole transition was freakin AMAZING :not worthy:

And the ending :wub: how cute is that that they ended up together in the end :wub: :wub: see i knew that they were meant to be together it was just time until it really happened :nod: i just hope that he saw things from his mothers point of view and forgave her :nod:

Everyone watch out because Dawn is gonna be ruling the world after she graduates from lawschool :yay:

Awesome job Ash :notworthy:

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Postby Bluechic01 » Mon Oct 25, 2004 2:15 am

:cry: I'm sad this story is over! Where did the time go??? I thought that was the most awesome story EVER! I liked the whole setting and the plot. NYC BABY! :D

The emotions in this story were amazing and I think you did an awesome job as usual my dear :hug:

And :yay: for Dawn getting her old hiney in Law school! I'm so proud. I wish her and Justin could've had some make-up sex :whip: But I guess she was a trifling whore enough :P . I loved this story and as for Justin, the f***in Yankees RULE Baby!!!

You're the best!! Keep up the great work :kiss:

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Postby laura » Mon Oct 25, 2004 3:44 am

<span style='font-family:Times'><span style='color:blue'>awwwwwwwwww its over??? really..ok....sob sob sob....

jusssst joking ash you know i love this i dont really gotta say much.....their together and happy!!! yayayayayay! also his poor mum.aw forgiveness is a great thing,resentment is much more fun!!!!! :lol: anyways i gotta get off her but for the last time(with this one anyway) i just want to say awesome job hun,you rock!</span> </span>:wub: :dance: :headbanger: :hug:

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*PrInC€š§~R¶*
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Postby *PrInC€š§~R¶* » Tue Oct 26, 2004 8:26 pm

i just read your story and i loved it

and :yay: justin's wearing a Yankee cap

nice job :thumbup:

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JT Fan Girl
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Postby JT Fan Girl » Fri Oct 29, 2004 1:13 pm

I know I'm REALLY late but I wanted you to know I loved it. ^_^ And I liked how the end was kinda open ended. Awesome! :P

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KrazyK
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Postby KrazyK » Sat Oct 30, 2004 3:39 pm

Ash, I'm almost completely done, but I had to let you know that I'm reading. Reading and loving it. But yes, I'm reading. :D

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Postby tendertoes » Tue Nov 02, 2004 11:12 am

<span style='color:purple'>I love this damn story! I love it so much that I have bookmarked your website and read the stats for the characters already..I can't wait!
Great job Ash!!
</span>

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tendertoes
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Postby tendertoes » Tue Nov 02, 2004 11:14 am

<span style='color:purple'>I love this damn story! I love it so much that I have bookmarked your website and read the stats for the characters already..I can't wait!
Great job Ash!!
</span>


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