If Only

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Postby PreCiouSbAbY » Fri Oct 15, 2004 9:58 pm

<span style='color:magenta'> Lately, its a new something to wake up to smell of his hair. His hair all curly and all up in the face. She loves the way he yawns and then peers open his eyes. It's like love at first sight all over again. Does he remember the love? He kisses her head like its the first time they met, and grasps onto her hand. I love yous are passed interchangeably. Why is he so calm today? Yesterday he was angry, furious that no one would allow their love to show. Maybe it is cause they are together, and no one can bother them in their space. Alone in their own collective place where the audience has vanished and it is just them. Them and the stage, and the silence between them. He gives her a final kiss and departs from the bed. He heads towards the bathroom and with a final glance he shuts the door closed. She sits patiently, and thinks about their life together. Marriage, children and happily ever afters in the future. It is perfect, it is bliss. She laughs to herself as she thinks about the days he makes her laugh, his silliness. She was anticipating his humorous banter, he always knew how to make her smile.

Inside the bathroom, he was locked. He trapped himself so he would not have to deal with the pain. The burying pain, the self-loathing and all that contained within him. He was skin and bones and then some. Where did all the life of him go? He was vibrant, happy, and everything was perfect...right? They were meant to be, but now he did not know. He stared into the mirror, his face was a blank image and he could not look at the man before him. The confidence in him evaporated, he was as lifeless as a dead leaf. Thinking about her only made it hurt more. How could he have been so selfish to let a mistake take over his life. He washed his face, and put that smile back on his face. He was only an actor, and only meant to pretend.

She smiled at the instant she saw sight of him, and did not heistate to wrap her arms around his neck. Her butterfly kisses fluttered around him, and he smiled all the while. And she never knew. And she never knew what laid beneath that smile. Unbeknowst to her that he would once again leave her to back to somewhere else to be someone else's love at first sight. But he loved that about her that she lived in oblivion. It made it easy to walk away, and to get away with it. Even though he loved her, he was no saint and he was just like every other man. Overcome by his own guilty desires, and temptations. Resistance was a hard thing for the man who had everything. Because for the man who had everything, there was always one thing he could not have. After their love session passed, it was time to go. He said his goodbyes, and kissed her one last time.

As he left her, he felt the guilt trample over his body. His mind throbbed but what could he do. No one would understand the way he felt. He drove towards 19 Woodridge St. and parked in front of the blue house with white shutters. He cautiously walked towards the door, hoping no one would recognize him as he knocked on the door of the house. A few moments later, the door peered open and he walked in. Upstairs to the left, he went inside the room and waited nervously. The I love yous and kisses exchanged once again. If only he could be honest with himself and with the world. That being different did not make him any less human. Maybe he would not have to live a lie, and he could walk around declaring the one that he loved. The man that he loved. </span>

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Postby whatchagot4meMRJT » Sat Oct 16, 2004 11:12 am

:huh: Ooooh, some man-on-man love. Hot! :drool: This is very interesting, so I'm hoping that you've got more for us. I think people should be able to be with whomever they want, so it's sad that this guy feels that he has to live a lie. :(

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Postby Mystery » Sat Oct 16, 2004 11:16 am

This is good :D You have to continue with this.

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Postby *PrInC€š§~R¶* » Sat Oct 16, 2004 8:58 pm

The man that he loved.

ooooooo this is going to be really good

i feel bad for him poor guy


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