Heavier Things

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Postby BabyBlue2578 » Thu Jan 20, 2005 11:02 am

<span style='color:gray'>:lonely: I'm feeling a bit neglected. All that writing up there and only one response from my dear Ani. Yeah, something really is missing now. Read, b****es! :lol:

:P I kid, I kid. Just your friendly, neighborhood reminder of Chapter 9. :D And thanks for your awesome review, Ani. You rock. :kiss:</span>

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Postby whatchagot4meMRJT » Thu Jan 20, 2005 11:52 am

Justin and Michelle ... if this isn't a love/hate relationship, then I do not know what is. :no: Their fighting used to bug me, but now I'm so used to them bickering, and then making up, that it feels like just another day in paradise. :lol: Just another day around the way. Feelin good today, feelin lovely-yay.

Michelle is a very ambitious woman, so if Justin thought that she was going to sit around all day hanging with his weird ass, then he better pump his brakes. Ain't no way! :no: She'll know when to stop pushing herself.

They need to have a sepraration of home/work deal going on because they are both real b****es when it comes to discussing their careers. :P


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Postby mtvjunkie » Thu Jan 20, 2005 1:01 pm

I finished! :yay: :P

Why do you make them argue so damn much Ash? :nono: I want so badly for them to have a happy ever after :unsure: This reminds me of the desperate housewives episode I was watching last night, talking about Eva :blink: Where Thingy and Mr. Thingy go to marriage counselling and everyone has problems with their marriage. Third episode I think :confused:

Great update Ash, although the next one will be even greater if it's cheery lol :D

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Postby JTnTN » Thu Jan 20, 2005 1:56 pm

Ashley. You're scaring me. I don't like it when they're lost. I don't like it when they fight. I don't like it when they don't know what the hell they're arguing about. I guess this is where the 'heavier things' come into play, but come on. You're breakin' my heart. :heartbreaker: << You see that? That's you and that's my heart. I can't stand watching them argue. And now, sex can't even bring them together. They're just... :(

Justin really needs something to do. Get him a job at Starbucks for all I care. Just don't have him sittin' around becoming bitter cus Chelle wants to do something with her life. :lol:

Yay! Gimme more now. :D

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Postby jts_senorita » Thu Jan 20, 2005 2:13 pm

See, I wish they could just be perfectly in love and happy ALL THE TIME... :shrug: But I guess that wouldn't be a drama at all then... Dammit, I wish there was a way for them to fight less. It'll also be a really bad thing for the baby if they're always fighting. But they have to be together! They have to.. I know that they'll figure this all out though, I have faith!

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Postby laura » Fri Jan 21, 2005 10:54 am

<span style='color:red'>aw ash i know how ya feel on the feed back thing believe me!!!! and i also know i totally forgot to feedback the other chapter(ooops?) any way last chapter got me thinking they were too happy right(kinda any way...as muc as those two can be i guess.) but any way ash pleeeeease dont pull a niptuck here ok...please it will kill me if it turns out not to be his kid....pleeeeeeaseeeee!!! </span>
<span style='color:red'>
anyway great update justin jelous of jc....humm...never would a thought it..... loves it! muah! more soon okay babe?

laura :lol:

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Postby Angelpopstar7 » Sun Jan 23, 2005 10:30 pm

I'm here....finally :rofl: sorry i've been soo busy so every day i've been reading like 10 blurbs or whatever until i finished it :rofl:

Justin is jealous of JC.... :jawdrop: i think thats probably the first and last time i'll ever hear that out of his mouth :rofl: i'm still in shock of that

But boy...J needs to get out and do something...not be couped up inside of the house all day....maybe he can do the whole painting the nursery for the baby and stuff :shrug: it would at least give him something to do :nod: that could be his own special project :nod: :shrug:

ahhh i'm sooo nervous for them.... :unsure: MORE PLEASE!

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Postby BabyBlue2578 » Mon Jan 24, 2005 11:07 pm

<span style='color:gray'>So hey! :wave: Thanks for the feedback! :lol: It's lacking in other places, so I really do appreciate you guys still taking the time out to do this. ^_^ Y'all are awesome. :D

Anywho, new chapter. It's kinda weird and I don't really know what to say about it, but I hope you enjoy it. I guess. :lol: Ah, and today was ''Michelle's'' birthday, so yay for her. :nerd: Yes, I'm a dork. But I had to mention it, because yes. What kind of author would I be if I didn't acknowledge it. :P *NJoy, you guys. :blowkiss:</span>

<span style='font-family:bernhardfashion bt'><span style='color:black'><span style='font-size:17pt;line-height:100%'>10 - “Something About It Being For The Bestâ€￾</span></span></span>

<span style='font-family:georgia'><span style='color:dodgerblue'><span style='font-size:10pt;line-height:100%'>I’ve come to the conclusion that January is a terrible month. Let’s look at the facts here: The holidays are officially over; you’re broke because you spent all of your money on other people; you’re fat because you ate like a pig, telling yourself that since it was Christmas, it would be okay; and you realize that another long year is ahead of you in which you’ll continue down the same sordid path through life that you were on in the previous year. Only now, you’re older and supposedly wiser. Maybe it’s just me, but right about now, the only thing that I’m wise to is the fact that I’m getting old.

I turned twenty-six a week ago. Twenty-six. Doesn’t that sound incredibly ancient? I mean, granted, it’s no Forty, but it seems like just yesterday I was still in college, working at Abercrombie & Fitch, trying to figure out what the hell I wanted to do with my life. I’m freakin’ twenty-six years old. I guess it’s official. No more excuses - I’m an adult now.

I really can’t complain. My life isn’t by any means in shambles. First and foremost, I’m healthy. I have a job that I absolutely love, a nice little paycheck to come home to. I have a beautiful man by my side and we’re expecting our first child. That sounds about as close to perfect as anyone can get, right? Probably. It’s not enough, though. The funny thing about relationships is that sometimes, they’re absolutely gorgeous on the outside. But more often than not, the inside is where the ugly truth lies. And what lies beneath my relationship with Justin is confusion, the yearn to be happy, but the ignorance of having no clue how to get there anymore.

I don’t want to argue with Justin everyday. I don’t like crying all the time. I just wanna love him. I just want to be able to go back to that point in our relationship where we were just happy to have one another. The little idiosyncrasies that we had didn’t automatically put us at a standstill. We were willing to work through the big things instead of trying to pass them off as insignificant. I miss the times when we could laugh about what was bothering us. Now, we can’t even talk about them. We spend so much time trying to cover up everything from the rest of the world, we eventually end up half-fooling ourselves into thinking that it’s really okay.

But what’s not okay is that I’m not happy. And I know that Justin isn’t, either. Maybe we need a change of scenery. We seemed to get along best when we lived in Orlando. We could pack it all up, find a place down there and solve everything. Or maybe he just needs to go back to his job. ‘Cause I mean, if he’s happy, then I think I would be, too. A lot of our tension comes from the fact that he’s doing nothing right now, and it’s driving both of us crazy. Or you know, it could be that I just need this pregnancy to be over. I’m extra irritable, irrational... crazy.

Can you tell that my wishful thinking is getting the best of me? I’m praying that the solution is that simple, because if it’s not... I dunno. I just don’t know. Because if that doesn’t work, what would we do? I’d never be happy if we broke up for good. Trust me: I know from experience But then that leaves the question: What happens when you can’t live with or without someone?

Our love was comfortable
And so broken in
I want you back


Today’s Justin’s birthday, and he swore up and down that he didn’t want a big birthday blowout. He’s having one anyway, thanks to Jourdyn, but I ain’t got nothin’ to do with that. Well, except for the little white lie I told when he asked if I knew what Jo was up to, but hey. He’ll get over it. It’s not like I have any details, anyway. Besides, my gift to him is simply my love. Sure, I could get him a car like he bought me, or send him to Fiji without me for a week, but he has twenty times more in his bank account than I do, so what’s the point? Instead, I decided that I was gonna pamper him, for once. I took the day off to go grocery shopping, do some cooking and all that kinda crap so that when he returns from meeting with his lawyers, everything will be absolutely perfect.

It was a rainy quarter after six and I was rolling pieces of chicken coated in buttermilk into a pile of flour when the cordless phone vibrated against the marble kitchen counter. I hoped it was Justin, but decided that it wasn’t, based on the unfamiliar Caller ID number. “Hello?â€￾

“Hey, Chelle. It’s Jourdyn.â€￾

“Hey,â€￾ I greeted her, balancing the phone between my ear and shoulder, wiping my hands. “What’s up, babe?â€￾

“Well, the party is all set up, so if you could just get Justin down to Suede by around 11:00, that would be great.â€￾

I scanned the messy kitchen, punctuated by an unfinished meal, and measured out a time table in my head before answering her. “You said 11:00?â€￾

“Yeah. Is that too late? Too early?â€￾

“No, no. That’s um... that’s fine, actually. I just have to figure out how I’m gonna convince him to get outta the house at that time,â€￾ I chuckled, carefully placing the chicken in the hot oil. “But I guess I’ll figure out something.â€￾

“Well listen, I paid big bucks to get the owner to keep the paparazzi away at exactly that time, so y’all can’t be late.â€￾

Way to put on the pressure, Jo. “Okay, 11:00. You got it, girl.â€￾

“See y’all later.â€￾

“Later,â€￾ I finished, hanging up the phone. I went back into cooking mode, bumbling and bumping into something at every turn, and continued with my meal. I was exhausted, but in spite of it, I mashed potatoes, strung peas and did my best to resist the urge to throw up from all the aromas floating from the food.

“Honey, I’m home,â€￾ I heard faintly over the sound of running water and frying chicken.

I’d hoped to be done cooking before Justin walked through the door, but I was actually relieved that I wasn’t because I was too tuckered out to try and turn the meal into some dynamic dining room setup. I smiled warmly as his tired face found the entrance to the open kitchen, taking a peek at my masterpiece in the making. “Hi,â€￾ I finally said, watching him roll up his sleeves to snoop around.

He dipped his finger into the pot of mashed potatoes and devoured the dollop that he pulled out. “What’s all this?â€￾

I washed and dried my hands and walked over to him, wrapping my arms around his neck. “Ooh, you’re wet,â€￾ I acknowledged.

Baby, I’m happy you’re home
Let me hold you in my arms
I just wanna take the stress away from you

“Yeah, it’s pouring outside.â€￾

“I’m sorry,â€￾ I replied, softly rubbing at his dampened buzz cut. “But happy birthday.â€￾

“Oh, thanks,â€￾ he chuckled, as if he didn’t know it were his birthday. He rubbed my back in a friendly manner and kissed the side of my face. “How sweet.â€￾

“Yeah, I know,â€￾ I joked, pulling away from him. “How was your day?â€￾


“What happened?â€￾

“Not much of anything. Basically, I just have to reimburse Jive for all the money they spent on promoting the album and the single and all that stuff.â€￾

“Are you okay with that?â€￾

Baby, I see you workin’ hard
I wanna let you know
I’m proud to let you know that I admire what you do

“Yeah,â€￾ he answered somberly. “It’s fine.â€￾

“Are you sure?â€￾

“Yeah.â€￾ I watched him leave the kitchen and turn down the hall towards the bedroom, pulling off his shirt in the process..

I immediately turned off any appliances and followed him to the back of the apartment where he’d walked into the bathroom. I didn’t go in, but I remained outside of the door to talk to him. “Justin, you know, if you wanna talk, I’m right here for you.â€￾

Makin’ sure that I’m doing my part
Boy, is there something you need me to do?
If you want it, say the word, I’ll provide it

“I know,â€￾ he answered with a big sigh. “Thanks.â€￾

“Okay. Well I’m just gonna stand here and you can talk if you want to.â€￾

“That’s okay, Chelle. I’ll be out in a minute.â€￾

“All right. I’ll go fix your plate.â€￾ I contemplated whether or not I really wanted to leave and decided that if he wanted to say something, he would have by now.

“All right.â€￾

As I began to exit the bedroom area, I heard his light sniffle and I froze. I turned back around to knock softly at the bathroom door. “Justin, please talk to me.â€￾

Baby, I heard you
I’m here to serve you

“I’m fine. I just have a sniffle from the cold,â€￾ he lied. “And I’m just having a bad day, I guess.â€￾

If it’s love you need, to give it is my joy
All I wanna do is cater to you, boy

“Come on out, and I’ll try to make it better.â€￾

Thankfully, I heard movement behind the door and within a few seconds, he came out of the bathroom, freshly redressed. His face was still adorned with sadness, but at least he didn’t pull some drama queen move and lock himself in there all night. “I’m fine.â€￾

I love how people say that they’re fine, knowing good and damn well that they’re completely f***ed up. And I do it all the time, so I know. I grinned and took his hand into mine, leading him back to the living room. I sat him on the couch and did my best to help him get comfortable. It was his birthday. And if you can’t be happy then, well when will you be happy?

“Chelle, you really don’t have to do this,â€￾ he announced as I entered the living room with his plate full of food. I set up one of the four portable stands that he recently bought and strategically placed it in front of him, sat his plate on top of it and wearily sat down next to him for a moment. “This is ridiculous. You’re pregnant. I should be taking care of you.â€￾

Let me cater to you
‘Cause baby this is your day
Do anything for my man
Baby, you blow me away

“Don’t be silly. It’s your birthday and you deserve it.â€￾

“I really don’t.â€￾

“Of course you do,â€￾ I shot back, affectionately caressing his back.

“You could’ve just given me a card and I would’ve been happy.â€￾

“Oh, I did get you a card,â€￾ I beamed, sitting up. “But you can read it after you finish your dinner.â€￾

“You’re not gonna eat?â€￾

“I’m not hungry.â€￾

“Well I can’t sit here and eat all this food if you’re not gonna eat, either.â€￾

“Come on, Justin. I made it for you.â€￾

He reluctantly delved into his meal, which made me wonder if it really sucked and he was just trying to avoid it, or if he had something on his mind that was just too big for him to talk to me about. In my own insecure way, I was dodging anything important by just trying to take his mind off of things. I didn’t really know what to say to him anymore. There was so much unspoken pain, but what was really wrong? If anything, however, I figured that the most important thing was that neither of us wanted to give up. But then there are those moments when I think that at some point, we already did.

I smiled again, watching him enjoy his food. It felt good to watch him finally enjoy something. I spend my days trying to ignore his expressions because I know that they’ll only tell me more of what I already know: something’s wrong. But right now, his face contains a complacency that I’m satisfied with, as well.

I wasn’t lying or trying to overcompensate when I said that I’m happy when he is. It’s true. Because besides his whole self-loathing mood that he’s had going on since he canceled the release of his album, we weren’t doing too bad. I mean, I know we weren’t really talking before that, but at least I knew we were in love. We were still fighting for each other at that point. So just maybe, if he were to regain the confidence and contentment that he had when he was Justin Timberlake, maybe our relationship will find that same substantive reason to hold on. I mean there’s no reason that Justin Timberlake and Just Justin can’t coexist. Right?


<span style='color:black'>Well it turns out that they were right. All of them. Barry, Johnny, Heather, Silas, my mom. Michelle. They said I was making a huge mistake. And now that everything is a day away from being announced publically, I’m finally seeing just how f***in’ right they were. The press conference is tomorrow and I’m... well, I’m scared.

I mean, what if this one move, which everyone I know has so adamantly tried to dissuade me of, is the thing that ruins my career? I know that a hiatus isn’t always disastrous. Hell, Britney hasn’t made a record in four years and she’s still famous as she was back then. But I also don’t want to be that kind of celebrity. I don’t wanna be known for what insanely stupid thing I did next. The 2004 Superbowl was dumb enough to last a lifetime for me. I make music. That’s my claim to fame.

I guess it was stupid to try and convince myself that I didn’t have to be me. Celebrity is what I thrive off of. I complain about it, but this sh** is f***in’ twelve years in the making. How did I ever think that I could let it go? I wasn’t born to be an unproductive couch potato. I’m Justin f***in’ Timberlake. sh**, with a name like that, what other choice did I have but to be famous?

I turned from my empty plate and looked at Michelle. She seemed lost in her own thoughts as she gazed out to the rain, but I ventured to interrupt them by taking her petite hand into mine. “Thank you for my dinner,â€￾ I told her. “It was incredible.â€￾

“Like I said, you deserve it. That’s the least I could do.â€￾

“I appreciate it.â€￾

“Are you feeling any better?â€￾

“Yeah. I guess I just needed some peas and quiet,â€￾ I joked, popping the last stray string bean into my mouth.


“What were you just thinking about?â€￾

She crossed her arms over her belly and replied thoughtfully, “You. Me. Stuff.â€￾

Well, at least we’re on the same wavelength. “You’re worried about us, aren’t you?â€￾

“Until you give me a reason not to be, then yeah.â€￾</span>

<span style='color:dodgerblue'>It’s impossible to love you
If you don’t let me know what you’re feeling
It’s impossible for me to give you what you need
If you’re always hiding from me

<span style='color:black'>“I’m sorry, but did you just say that I needed to give you a reason?â€￾

“Yeah, Justin. I’m scared for us because I’m scared for you.â€￾

“Forgive me for my ignorance, but what do your insecurities have to do with me?â€￾

“Everything. I’m terrified that you’re frustrated or mad or just plain bored with me. You always look so defeated and depressed. I’m just scared that you’re gonna walk away from me again.â€￾</span>

<span style='color:dodgerblue'>I don’t know what hurts you
I just, I wanna make it right
‘Cause boy, I’m sick and tired of trying to read your mind
‘Cause it’s impossible

<span style='color:black'>“So are you saying that this is my fault?â€￾

“Please, Justin. Not tonight.â€￾ She carefully got up from the couch and looked down at me in a condescending manner. “It’s your birthday. I don’t wanna do this.â€￾

“Michelle, don’t use that bullsh** excuse to walk away from me.â€￾

“I’m not walking away from you. I’m walking away from this discussion.â€￾


“Because I don’t want to argue with you.â€￾</span>

<span style='color:dodgerblue'>It’s impossible for me to love you this way</span>

<span style='color:black'>“It’s not an argument. It’s a question.â€￾

“It’s a question that’s going to turn into an argument if I don’t leave now.â€￾

“Where are you going?â€￾

“I’m going to lie down and get some rest before the party.â€￾

I watched her push past me and awkwardly wobble towards the hallway, digesting her words. “Hold on a minute, sweetheart. Did you just say party?â€￾

She threw her head back and sighed at the ceiling. “sh**.â€￾


“I’m sorry.â€￾

“I said I didn’t want a f***ing party.â€￾

“I know, I know,â€￾ she nodded, finally turning back around. “But Jourdyn wanted to throw you a party, so I promised her that I’d get you there. I’m sorry.â€￾

“I’m not going,â€￾ I stated simply.

“Justin, come on.â€￾

“No. I said I didn’t want one. You should’ve listened to me.â€￾

“I know, but come on. She’s your best friend. She just wanted to do something nice for you.â€￾

“Then she should’ve f***in’ did what I said â€￾ What the f*** is with people and parties? We just had a party for Chelle last week. We had a New Year’s Eve party. Don’t they get sick of all the goddamn parties?

She stumbled into the wall behind her, seemingly taken back by my words. Both of us winced at the sound that her head made when it hit the wall, but she quickly regained her balance and sneered at me. “Then perhaps you should go yell at her.â€￾

I stared at her briefly and realized that she was kind of right. “Yeah, I’m sorry.â€￾

“I’m sure you are,â€￾ she said coldly, glaring back at me and turning back down the hall. “Listen, you don’t have to go if you don’t want to. But if you don’t, I’d appreciate it if you’d clean up the kitchen.â€￾

“You’re kidding, right?â€￾

“Not really. Oh, and happy birthday.â€￾

“f*** you,â€￾ I mumbled.

She was halfway to the bedroom when she yelled back, “You already did But thanks anyway.â€￾



After our fourteen-millionth argument this week came to an end, I left. I had no plan as to where the hell I was going, but driving the rainy streets of the city would sure as hell make me feel better than the stuffy tension of that damn apartment. So when Michelle slammed the bedroom door shut, I grabbed the keys to her birthday Beemer and bounced.

I drove in circles around our block for a while before I realized that I was actually passing the same buildings over and over. Cold and confused; aloof and alone; dazed and discombobulated. I never imagined I’d be starting twenty-six this way. Hey, maybe it’s just a quarter-life crisis. Do those exist? I sighed, making a turn onto the Brooklyn Bridge, figuring that any problems I was having at this point in my life were because I put them there. ‘Cause if you think about it, it’s not that hard to be happy. It’s a state of existence. You don’t even have to do anything. It just is. So that leaves the question: What the hell am I doing?

My phone rang, showing that Jourdyn was calling and I was suddenly reminded what I was doing. Hiding. The lengths I was going to just to get away from the world were starting to even bother me. I realized again, that Chelle was right. This new mood of mine was kind of scary. She has every reason to be worried about me. It’s impossible to love someone that won’t love you back. I mean, I know that I love her, but if she doesn’t know it, then what’s the point?

With those thoughts running through my head, I swerved on Tillary Street before I could get lost in downtown Brooklyn and made a U-turn so that I could get back on the bridge. It was about time to right some recent wrongs. The first stop was to enjoy the hour and a half left of my birthday. I was gonna go home, get dressed, get my girlfriend and begin Twenty-six like it meant something. They say that life is what you make it. I wanna make the best of it.

When I arrived back on our block, after almost being sideswiped by a rushing ambulance, my spirits dropped a little when I found that the parking spot I had right in front of the building had been taken. But I guess that’s half the price you pay for having a car in the city. There were too many other things to look forward to for me to be down about that. Even if it did mean parking on the next block over and trudging through the pouring rain to get back to Beecher Street.

“Michelle, you here, babe?â€￾ I said into the eerie silence of our apartment. “I’m ready to party if you still wanna go.â€￾ The lack of reply told me that she was probably knocked out. She did look insanely tired when I got home earlier this evening. I quietly crept down the hall, careful that my wet shoes didn’t squish against the hardwood floor.

The door to our black and white bedroom was ajar, which I found odd because she tends to close the door if she’s asleep. But when I walked into an empty bedroom, I soon saw why. She wasn’t asleep. She wasn’t even there. And it was a mess. The sheets were crumpled and some of them torn, there was jewelry scattered across the floor, the room smelled of a mixture of perfumes from the broken bottles on the floor and shards of glass from the dresser mirror were also shattered in the same area. My heart stopped when I saw remnants of drying blood on the floor. I dropped to my knees in panic and searched the room for any sign of Michelle. I couldn’t resist the urge to cry, not that I would’ve tried. I knew I shouldn’t jump to conclusions, but I was wet and I was worried, which was a far cry from a healthy combination. I called Michelle’s cell only to hear it ringing in her purse by the bed. I called Jourdyn only to get no answer. I didn’t know what to do. What happened? Where is she? Why – When – I mean, what? What?

After agonizing over the possibilities, it took me a good ten minutes to get up from the dangerous floor and try to find some answers. Simply to ease my pain, I told myself that she simply got frustrated, broke a few things and has finally left me for good. I know that it doesn’t explain the drops of blood or the fact that she didn’t even bother to take her purse with her, but that’s the unreliable reassurance that I need in order to get through these moments of intense confusion and anguish. I love her too much to believe that anything bad has happened to her.

It’s dark, I know, but then again
It’s the brightest thing I got when I’m covered in rain

I called everyone I know. I even called people that I don’t know. I asked the neighbors that live above and below us. I checked the apartment buildings next door. I looked for her in Starbucks and Barnes & Noble, I checked CVS and the Food Emporium. Half of those places weren’t even open, but I checked. I walked in circles around the neighborhood, praying that she was hiding somewhere in a dark corner waiting for me to save her. But soon my tears blended with the rain on my cheeks and I gave up. I gave Eric a call and asked for him to look around, but I didn’t know what else to do. Maybe my theory wasn’t so crazy after all. Maybe she got sick of Twenty-six and got lost, too.

I went back up to the apartment just in case some idiot decided to call back at the house after I told them to call my cell, but there was nothing. No voice mail, no e-mail, no nothing. Just me and my sadness. At first, I didn’t know whether to clean up the mess in the bedroom in case it happened to be a crime scene, but I can’t think that way. If Michelle walks through that door in the next two seconds, she’d appreciate the mess being gone. So I got rid of all the glass, wiped away the perfume, made up the bed - I made it perfect for her. Just in case.

I even went to the kitchen, remembering that she’d asked me to clean up. I was all prepared to scrub a bunch of pots and pans when I walked in the kitchen to find it spotless. Every shiny pot was hung in its place, all the food was put away, and the counter was glimmering except for one large white envelope near the refrigerator. I just hoped that it was a Dear John, or in this case, Justin, letter and not a ransom note.

“I always get you a card.â€￾ was scribbled across the front of the envelope in Chelle’s handwriting. I breathed a sigh of relief and pulled out the card, hoping to find some answers.</span></span></span>

<span style='font-size:12pt;line-height:100%'><span style='font-family:bradley hand itc'><span style='color:dodgerblue'>Well. Happy Birthday. It seems like we get worse at this every year, doesn’t it? It’s okay. I know that you try. I do, too. There are just those times when you don’t know what you’re trying to do, right? That’s okay, too. There’s so much joy ahead of us that it’s all right if we have a little rain in our lives for a while. I don’t mind if you don’t. Life isn’t easy, babe. Even if you’re Justin Timberlake. It is harder if you’re not, though. So I hope you don’t get mad, but I went ahead and reimbursed your promotion money to Jive. We’ve also reset your album release for May 29th, so get ready! I know you’re sighing right now, but I know it’s a happy sigh, because we both know that it’s what you want. It’s what you need. I love you too much to let your happiness fall out of your grasp. Give yourself a Second Chance. Maybe life isn’t perfect all the time, but it’s what you make it. Make it beautiful, my love. Now smile. It’s gonna be all right. I love you, Superstar. Happy Birthday.

PS - If I’m there when you read this, turn to me and say Thank You. If not, just prepare my bubble bath for when I get home. </span></span></span>

<span style='font-family:georgia'><span style='color:black'><span style='font-size:10pt;line-height:100%'>I went to the large living room window and looked down to the drenched streets, scared by whatever it is that was happening. If she were here, I’d say a hell of a lot more than Thank You. But she’s not. And I don’t know whether I’m more scared that I don’t know where she is or that I don’t know what to do without her.

Now I’m standing facing west
Chasing my fingers ‘round a silhouette
I haven’t gotten used to yet

I prayed for a miracle and leaned back into the window with a sigh and a few extra tears. I opened the card again, rubbing my fingers against her words. Her inevitably beautiful words that would always break my heart and put it back together in the same breath.

But it’s the brightest thing I got when I’m covered in rain</span></span></span>

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Postby SiMPLYiNSYNC » Tue Jan 25, 2005 12:52 am

You're totally welcome for the feedback. We'll be replying as long as you keep writing. (And updating everyday :lol:)

If I had a nickle for everytime Justin and Michelle fought, I'd be probably be f***in' Bill Gates. :lol: But, they just wouldn't BE Justin and Michelle without the fighting, right? :nod: Right.
As for her leaving, that scared the hell out of me. I didn't want anything to happen to Michelle and the little `Lake. :no:

I’m Justin f***in’ Timberlake. sh**, with a name like that, what other choice did I have but to be famous?

:rofl: Jeez, Justin. Cocky much? Eh, who cares? I'd still do you. :lol:

Ash, you rock. :headbanger: :notworthy:

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Postby whatchagot4meMRJT » Tue Jan 25, 2005 9:46 am

:headbanger: Dude, I just loved that birthday card to death. ^_^ Such thoughtful and truthful words. That Chelle, she's a little smartie. :nod: And to reimburse Jive and get Justin back into the Superstar mode. :yay: I think he's going to find that is just what he needs. :pray:

But Chelle, where are you, girl? :ph34r: I hope all is well and that she makes it home safely. Or maybe she just headed down to Suede to get her party on. :dance: Hey, can't miss a good party. :bootyshake: No random hookups, though. Justin might be an annoying, stubborn ass, but no jeopardizing the relationship. :nono: That goes for both of them. :nod:

MORE! :please:

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Postby laura » Tue Jan 25, 2005 10:11 am

<span style='color:green'>you totally completely welcome!! even though i offically suck at feedback! but eh...you know i loves it riiight??? :lol: dude are you trying to make me cry? well you succeded!!!that birthday card.....wow....and i know i know....or do i?? is she in labour????? otherwise i dont want you to update if something bad happens...ill never forgive ya!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ill stop now!!! ;loves it hun!!!!! pm me sometime we can catch up!!!!!!!!!!

later!</span> :D

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Postby mtvjunkie » Tue Jan 25, 2005 11:14 am

:unsure: Where did she go?

:clap: Wonderful chapter my dear, but why why why do you have to make them fight all the time? :nono:

:rofl: I love me, after I read b****, I then read ********** and tried to work out what swearword it was, then I realised it was a section partition :stupidme: :lol:

Now update :nod: I wanna know where she went...

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Postby whatchagot4meMRJT » Tue Jan 25, 2005 12:02 pm

mtvjunkie wrote: :rofl: I love me, after I read b****, I then read ********** and tried to work out what swearword it was, then I realised it was a section partition :stupidme: :lol:

I love you, too. :rofl:

I'm a fan of the all-inclusive motherf***ingdamnb****. :D

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Postby jts_senorita » Tue Jan 25, 2005 5:33 pm

Omg... Michelle is scaring me! :( Where the hell is she?? I hope she's alright. God, Justin really fuucked up her birthday suprise. :no: Starting a fight after all that time and effort she put herself through just to make him happy. They just never can get it together, can they? Go, I hope his album being release after all and all that will make him a little bit happier... They need to start making up soon! They have to end up together in the end of this one... :unsure: :pray:

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Postby justins bubbles » Tue Jan 25, 2005 7:12 pm

<span style='color:blue'>Sorry, Ash. I've been everywhere but here lately. I'm SO behind too. I haven't even read the latest update from Evie! :no: Yeah, so if you can understand. It's killin' me Smalls!

Boo to me. </span>

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Postby JTnTN » Tue Jan 25, 2005 10:36 pm

DUDE. What! Where is my Michelle? :nervous: Ashley, why are you doing this? And does this have anything to do with that spiffy little ambulance passing by? IT'S TOO EARLY TO HAVE THE BABY! :( Ash, if this is going where I think it is, I just have to stop reading now. I cannot take this!

Ohmigod! I just had the saddest thought. That birthday card isn't gonna be her last words to him, are they? You can't be that cruel. You just can't. I have so many impending thoughts right now, and none of them are good. :no: You weren't lying about Heavier Things. I can feel the stress of all these possibilities just weighing down on me. :lol:

Yeah, you've gotta update. I really can't deal with all this damn suspense. *Sigh*

But on a happy note, Chelle kicks ass for getting his career back together and giving him a 'Second Chance'. I love that! ^_^ So yes, let's find Michelle, they can stop arguing and sh** will be back to perfect now that Mr. JT is back in action. :yay:

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Postby justins bubbles » Wed Jan 26, 2005 3:05 am

<span style='color:blue'>Ahh.... and I caught up. How I love insomnia. ^_^


What the hell happened to her? Did she go to the party? I don't like that ambulance cameo... :unsure: Ash, don't do this to us! :yell: We want them together, happy... as three. :nod: It's the only way to be. lol Bustin' rhymes out my ass!

Yeah. Get her back! </span>

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Postby BabyBlue2578 » Fri Jan 28, 2005 8:01 pm

<span style='color:gray'>:wave: Thank you again for all the great replies. ^_^ You make me so happy! :lol: Anyway, I was trying to wait for Heather so she wouldn't get too far behind, but yeah. Sorry, Heath. :kiss: Everyone else, enjoy! :blowkiss:

Oh yes, and I'm nominated for the Inspiration Awards, so if you want, feel free to vote for me. AND for Sharry. ^_^ I'm being lazy as hell, so the link to it is on http://rockstar.tasting-eden.commy site.</span>

<span style='font-family:bernhardfashion bt'><span style='color:dodgerblue'><span style='font-size:17pt;line-height:100%'>11 - “I Tried Your Number Twiceâ€￾</span></span></span>

<span style='font-family:georgia'><span style='color:black'><span style='font-size:10pt;line-height:100%'>My twenty-sixth birthday ended on an extremely sad note. I cried myself to sleep that night. No, actually I couldn’t even do that right. I cried myself into oblivion and ended up staring at the rain for the most part, while abstract thoughts ran through my head. After all was said and done, the only thought/emotion I could come up with was complete and total helplessness. I realized that I had no idea what to do when I was completely out of options.

I slept with my cell phone and the house phone nestled against my chest. In case they vibrated, rung, beeped, screamed - whatever - I wanted to be right there. Then, after countless terrified tears, there was the call. “Hello?â€￾ I answered excitedly.

“Mr. Timberlake?â€￾


“Hi, this is Dr. D’Amico from NYU Downtown Hospital ER.â€￾

Oh, God. This is it. “Yes, hi. Is she all right?â€￾ I rushed.

“She’s just fine,â€￾ he answered calmly. “She took a pretty hard blow to the head, but she’ll be as good as new in no time. I’m merely calling to inform you of her whereabouts.â€￾

“Thank you so much,â€￾ I replied, immensely relieved by the news. Before he could even explain the situation to me, I let out a heavy sigh of relief, crawled out of bed and hit the door. I wanted to get to my baby as soon as possible, whatever the reason. The ten-minute ride through the rain and to the hospital was drowned in anguish and anticipation, but I endured it. If the doctor said that she was fine, then she couldn’t be in too bad a position.

I raced through the emergency room doors and bombarded the receptionist with my frenetic worry. “Where is she?â€￾ I demanded, repeatedly.

“May I have a name, sir?â€￾

“Michelle Michelle Alexander.â€￾

Tapping at her keyboard, she gave me a look of slight sorrow, gazing back and forth between me and the computer screen. “I have no Alexander here.â€￾

“It’s Michelle Alexander,â€￾ I emphasized.

“I know that. I checked both combinations of that name and I have nothing. Perhaps she came in as a Jane Doe. Do you know what she came in for?â€￾

“I – She – Actually, I don’t.â€￾

“Okay. Maybe you’re in the wrong wing of the hospital. How old is she?â€￾

“She’s twenty-six I got a call from a doctor here in the ER. He said that she was fine and - oh He said that she was hit in the head. Or something.â€￾

“Okay, I can work with that. Do you remember the doctor’s name that called you?â€￾

Hell no, I don’t remember that. “All I know is that it started with a D.â€￾

“Dr. Dacshel?â€￾


“Okay, I’ll page him and get him right down.â€￾

“Thank you,â€￾ I replied, smiling tensely.

“I’m not sure whether it’s appropriate to say this,â€￾ Maria, the receptionist began, “but my daughter is one of your biggest fans.â€￾

“Thank you. I appreciate that,â€￾ I answered, rolling my eyes. I was nervously pacing up and down the small area in front of the receptionist’s desk, waiting on Dr. Dacshel. The f***ed up thing about that is, I don’t even think that that was the damn doctor’s name. I turned back to Maria and said, “You know, maybe if I describe her to you, you’ll remember her? She’s really petite - like 5'3 , medium-length curly brown hair, hazel eyes, huge stomach.â€￾

She puts a quiet hand to mine

There was a warm hand suddenly on my back and I heard her voice beside me. “Gee. Thanks, J.â€￾

I looked down and there she was, perfect as aver. The tension in my shoulders immediately fell, my heart began to pump again and my fears completely faded away when I saw her exhilarating smile beaming up at me. “Oh, my God. I was worried sick about you,â€￾ I sighed, hugging her carefully.

‘Cause she’s the brightest thing I got when I’m covered in rain

She rubbed at my damp back, unknowingly comforting me in the most endearing, simplest way possible. “I’m so sorry. I tried leaving you a message, but your box was full,â€￾ she explained, demurely.

“I’m sorry, too. I should never have walked out on you.â€￾

“I shouldn’t have either.â€￾ We turned from the receptionist desk and sat at a couple of seats in the surrounding waiting area of the crowded hospital. “You look terrible,â€￾ she added.

“Well that’s ‘cause I’ve been driving myself crazy, worried about you,â€￾ I admitted. I softly ran my hand over her entire face and then through her damp, lightly wet curls. “God, I love you.â€￾

She smiled deeply and sighed. “I love you, too.â€￾

“So are you all right? Can we go home now?â€￾

“Me? Yeah, I’m fine. I’ve just been waiting for the doctor to release Jourdyn.â€￾

“Jourdyn? What? What happened to her?â€￾

“Isn’t that why you’re here?â€￾

Well sh**, I guess I don’t know. “What happened?â€￾

“She hit her head on our dresser. I had to get her to the emergency room.â€￾

Ohhh. “Is she all right?â€￾

“She is now.â€￾

“So how did that happen?â€￾ I asked for the third time.

“Well after you left, I had to call her and tell her that the birthday boy wasn’t coming to his party, and then she told me that she was on her way over. That’s when I decided to go and clean up the kitchen. Anyway, you know I had been pretty tired all day so when I was coming into the bedroom after I cleaned up, I slipped on one of my shoes and fell.â€￾

“Are you all right?â€￾ I interrupted.


“Well I know, but did you get checked out and everything and make sure that the baby is okay?â€￾

“Dude, can I finish my story?â€￾

“Oh yeah, sorry.â€￾

“So anyway,â€￾ she grinned, rubbing her thumb along my hand, “you know how the space between the bed and the dresser is pretty narrow, right? So I couldn’t get up. And when I tore the sheets on the bed trying, I just sat there and decided to wait for Jo to get there.â€￾

“Uh huh.â€￾

“Then, when she walked into the apartment and saw me sitting there, we tried to pull me up. But I was too fat for her, so she lost her balance and went crashing into the dresser. Hit her head, broke the mirror and everything.â€￾


“Yeah, exactly. Luckily, she had her purse with her or we both would’ve been screwed, ‘cause I couldn’t even crawl across the glass on the floor to reach the phone.â€￾

“Wow,â€￾ I said again, becoming rather redundant.

“I know.â€￾

“So was there like, any major head trauma?â€￾

“She did have to get a few stitches back there, but you know that girl is a fighter.â€￾

“I’ve never loved anyone that wasn’t,â€￾ I answered, kissing the side of Michelle’s cheek. “And you’re sure that you’re all right?â€￾

“Yes, babe. I’m fine.â€￾

“All right, so can I go see my other girlfriend yet?â€￾

“Not right now. The doctor is giving her one last examination. Then you have the joy of taking us home.â€￾

“Chelle, I can honestly tell you that after tonight, nothing would make me happier.â€￾

“What were you so afraid of?â€￾ she chuckled.

“Dude, do you have any idea what it’s like to walk into a bedroom that resembles a damn crime scene?â€￾


“Seriously I’ve heard the horror stories about New York. I thought that some crazy ass found out that you were having my baby and tried to kidnap you.â€￾

“You poor thing.â€￾

“I was scared out of my mind, Chelle.â€￾

She brought my hand up to her lips and consumed it in kisses. “I’m sorry for scaring you. But to be fair, I did call you from Jo’s phone after I called the ambulance, and as usual, you didn’t answer.â€￾

Oops. “Forgive me,â€￾ I said, leaning into the uncomfortable purple chair. I opened my arms to accept Chelle into them, thankful to be able to hold her. About an hour ago, I didn’t know when that would happen again. But thank God for small miracles like, you know, phones and doctors and stuff.

“I always do,â€￾ she finally responded, her voice becoming thick with exhaust.

“You always do what?â€￾

“I always forgive you.â€￾

“You say it like you have a choice in the matter,â€￾ I chuckled.

“Hey, did you get your card?â€￾

“My card?â€￾

“I left your birthday card for you on the kitchen counter.â€￾

“Hmm. Must not have seen it,â€￾ I jokingly lied, still running my fingers through her hair.

“You liar.â€￾


“You read it.â€￾

“And what makes you think that.â€￾

“Your body language. Your facial expressions. Your whole demeanor has changed since the last time I saw you,â€￾ she stated, knowingly. “You’re complete.â€￾

I smiled down at the top of her head. She was right. I have my baby; she’s carrying my baby; and I get to go back to doing what I love. I am complete. In my head, I reread the words to the card. Like I said, they manage to fix everything sometimes. Knowing that she didn’t need anything else, I gave her exactly what she asked for. “Thank you.â€￾

‘Cause she’s the brightest thing I got
When I’m covered in rain


“Okay, let’s take it from the top.â€￾ Marty, my choreographer, quickly walked across the studio room to turn on the stereo and stared at me with the help of the wall-to-wall, ceiling-to-floor mirror that we both stood in front of. “You ready?â€￾

The heavy percussion from the instrumental version of my song, ‘Hello’, filled the small room, and I began to sway slowly with the guitar riff. I did my best to get into it, but I was frustrated because it was only lunchtime and we’d been at this for five hours, I was tired, hungry, sore and I really wanted nothing more than to go home and crawl into bed with Michelle. “Ready as I’ll ever be,â€￾ I finally answered with a tired grin, wiping my forehead with my shirt. As I waited for my cue, I watched Renece, my female lead, saunter back into the room with an encouraging look to her eyes. “You’re not gonna run through it with me?â€￾

“Nah, I wanna see what you can do,â€￾ she said loudly over the music, claiming a spot on the floor.

“You’ve been seein’ it all morning.â€￾

“Yeah, but that was with me in front of you. Now I get to check out your solo act.â€￾

I gave her a chuckle that was more visual than audible and began the choreography as I’ve been instructed to do for the past few hours. Nervously, my eyes shot back and forth between myself, Renece and Marty, just praying that he wouldn’t stop me and make me start over. “This feels stupid,â€￾ I commented.

“Why? ‘Cause you’re dancing alone?â€￾ Marty asked.

“Yeah. I’m not used to dancing this slow by myself.â€￾

“Maybe you’re just not used to dancing,â€￾ Renece imparted. “You’ve been out of it for what, two months now?â€￾

“Renece get on up there and dance with him,â€￾ Marty instructed, lightly tapping her thigh with his shoe.

She happily sprung up from the floor and stood in front of me, the same way we’re supposed to be positioned in the video, and placed my hand over her right hip. “You need to relax, J. You’re tense.â€￾

“I’m fine,â€￾ I smiled.

“Yes, you are,â€￾ she chuckled, “but you still gotta relax.

We stood in place and waited for Marty to restart the track while she eyed me, via the mirror. “What?â€￾ I asked.

“You look troubled.â€￾

“No, I’m fine. I’m just tired, I guess.â€￾

“No, I know your tired look. You look like there’s something wrong with you.â€￾

“It’s just, I don’t think my girlfriend is gonna be happy about this.â€￾

“Michelle? But you said she loves me.â€￾

Ha. She loves to hate you. “Yeah, but she’s all pregnant and crazy and sh**.â€￾

We began our choreography, me mimicking Renece’s movements behind her, but still carrying on our conversation. “Do you want me to talk to her?â€￾

“No, no. That’s all right,â€￾ I laughed, throwing her over my shoulder. “It’ll be okay, I guess.â€￾

She slid seductively down my back and gracefully flipped off of me and landed on the floor with a smile. “Come on, I have great experience with the jealous girlfriend.â€￾

“You’ve never dealt with Chelle, though. She takes the cake.â€￾ I pulled her from the floor and dragged her back in front of me, moving to the same beat and pace as the drum. “Plus, it’s not your problem.â€￾

“Well it doesn’t have to be anyone’s problem if you’d just let me talk to her.â€￾

The music stopped, but we continued to move to an unheard rhythm, executing the choreography as we’d learned it. “Seriously, don’t give it a second thought. I’m just being paranoid.â€￾

“Yo, you can stop now,â€￾ Marty interrupted. “Take an hour for lunch and we’ll meet back here at 2:00.â€￾

“Thank God,â€￾ I sighed. The slight amount of tension that was in the room evaporated as the two of us separated. I grabbed my coat and a bottle of water and hightailed it out of the door just a few feet behind Renece.

“Justin,â€￾ Marty called after me.


“Listen,â€￾ he began in a loud whisper, “do you think we should get someone different?â€￾

“Someone different? For what?â€￾

“Someone different from Renece as the female lead.â€￾

“Not really,â€￾ I chuckled lightly. “What? You don’t think she’s good enough?â€￾

“No, I think she’s got it. You just look like you got too much of it.â€￾

I laughed quietly and then looked out of the door as she pulled on her down white coat, completely oblivious as to what we were discussing. “It wouldn’t be right to fire her for no reason, though.â€￾

“Yeah, but if you can’t work...â€￾

“You know what? I’m fine. I was worried about my girlfriend, but I’m sure she’ll understand.â€￾

“Oh, well in that case, get outta here,â€￾ he joked, pushing me out of the door. “It looked like somethin’ else, but I won’t f*** with it if you don’t.â€￾

“I won’t,â€￾ I replied, finishing off my water.

“Well Chelle’s a smart girl. She knows what’s up, right?â€￾

“Right.â€￾ Ha. Yeah, that’s definitely wrong.


<span style='color:dodgerblue'>“So Justin’s going to Paris for how long?â€￾ Jourdyn asked.

We were doing lunch at this Chinese restaurant near Union Square called The Cottage, going over plans and such for the next few months. It had been a few weeks since Jo’s accident so she wasn’t back in class yet, I was officially on maternity leave, and we were bored. “It shouldn’t be long,â€￾ I told her, shoving my spoon around my wonton soup.

“But how long?â€￾

“Maybe a week, week and a half.â€￾

Oh, right. Okay so Justin has gone back to work (Thank God) and he’s a busy bee, yet again. I guess I should’ve realized when I did all my plottin’ and plannin’ with Jive that an early-summer release date would put him in ‘I’m too busy for you’ mode at the exact moment where I’d enter the ‘I need you like hell’ phase of pregnancy. But hey, I’ll get through it. He needs his career. It’s his livelihood. So he’s rehearsing now, and with high hopes that his two and a half month stint didn’t hurt his career too much, next week, he’s shooting the video for his first single, ‘Hello’.

“It sucks that you can’t go with him,â€￾ Jourdyn implanted. “Especially now that you’re off from work.â€￾

“Yeah, don’t remind me,â€￾ I laughed. “This pregnancy crap is so boring.â€￾

“How so?â€￾

“Well sh**, I can’t do anything. And the few things I can do, I’m too tired to do.â€￾

“I don’t think I’ve ever complained about not having to do anything.â€￾

“Yeah, well I’m one of those people that just can’t sit down, you know?â€￾

“Oh, I definitely know. You used to be like a Jamaican with all your damn jobs, girl.â€￾

I laughed heartily and leaned back into my seat, reminiscing. “Well I’m not stoppin’ yet, ‘cause while Justin’s gone, I think I’m gonna hire a decorator to finally get started on the baby’s room.â€￾

“A decorator?â€￾

“Yup. There’s this woman in L.A. that does baby nurseries. She paints murals for them and all that sh**. So I’m gonna give her a call and see what she can help me with.â€￾

“Oh, Lord. This kid is gonna be spoiled by everyone he knows.â€￾

“Damn right he is,â€￾ I smiled.

“I can’t wait â€￾ She grinned at me, making her green eyes twinkle in the dim restaurant and continued with her egg roll. “So what kind of mural are you thinking of?â€￾

“I dunno,â€￾ I answered, thoughtfully. “Maybe some kind of painting of Justin, ‘cause you know he’s gonna be on the road a lot.â€￾


“And yeah, I just imagine a lot of light blue and white. And I want the baby’s name somewhere along the wall.â€￾

“You have a name picked out already?â€￾ she asked excitedly.

“No,â€￾ I chuckled. “Justin insists that that’s bad luck.â€￾

“Yeah, so does Brandon.â€￾

“Girl, don’t get me started on him.â€￾ We laughed in unison as our food arrived, knowing that my brother was just anal about superstitions. “But wait, so does that mean that y’all have talked about having babies?â€￾ I inquired, piling sauteed vegetables on my plate.

She gave me a coy grin and just as she was about to answer, her grin turned to a full-fledged smile before I heard my favorite voice come into play behind me. “Well, well, well. Fancy meeting you here.â€￾ I turned my head just in time to feel Justin’s lips crashing against it.

“Hey, you,â€￾ I greeted him happily, running random fingers across his freshly buzzed hair.

He kissed my cheek again and patted my stomach. “Hey, yourself.â€￾

“What you doin’ here?â€￾ Jo asked.

“Takin’ a break for lunch,â€￾ he winked, pulling off his puffy Polo coat. It was odd to see him dressed down in public. These days, he usually reserved the sweatshirts and jogging pants for indoors.

“How’s rehearsal going?â€￾

“Not bad,â€￾ he rationalized. “Y’all don’t mind if we join you, do you?â€￾

“You’re already sittin’.â€￾

“Who’s ‘we’?â€￾ I questioned in confusion.

“Oh. Me and Renece.â€￾

“Is that his imaginary friend?â€￾ Jourdyn whispered to me.

I wish. I slightly shook my head to her and turned back to Justin. “Where is she?â€￾

“She went into Duane Reade to get us some IcyHot.â€￾


“Okay, but who the hell is Renece?â€￾ Jo reiterated.

“A vide-ho,â€￾ I shot back. Just the thought of her made my stomach twinge.

“Chelle, stop,â€￾ he chuckled. “She’s a dancer and she’s gonna be in the new video with me.â€￾

“Like I said: a vide-ho.â€￾

“Uh oh,â€￾ Jo commented.

“Nah, there’s no ‘uh oh’,â€￾ Justin combated. “She’s a nice girl.â€￾

“Yeah, that’s Justin talk for ‘She’s so incredibly ugly that I gotta up play her hideousness’ or ‘She’s so fine that I gotta downplay her gorgeousness’,â€￾ Jo laughed.

“Well the last thing she is is ugly,â€￾ I affirmed. Hell, the b**** is hot. Even I’d do her.

Justin reached across the table and, in a futile attempt at making me feel better, kissed my hand. “Babe, you have absolutely nothing to worry about.â€￾

<span style='color:black'>If you need confirmation, baby I understand
It’s all right if you want me to tell you
You got my only heart

“Yeah, whatever,â€￾ I smiled.

And then, that’s when she walked in. All three of us froze and watched, as if the whole moment were taking place in slow motion, while she searched the restaurant for Justin’s big old head. She spotted him and smiled, flashing her perfect teeth and her stupid dimples. She perched her presumably Chanel shades atop her cascading brown and blonde hair, revealing a pair of piercing jade eyes, just as light as her vanilla skin. Her endless legs carried her to our table in a saunter that said, ‘Yeah. I’m the sh**.’ Ladies and gentlemen, Renece Barone.

Five foot nine
She’s got legs for days
Green eyes that cut like a knife
And her own little sexy sway

“Boy, I thought you left me,â€￾ she said to Justin, removing her coat and unzipping the top half of her pink sweatsuit. She smiled at me and then at Jourdyn, giving each of us a friendly, “Hi â€￾

Justin pulled up a chair from a neighboring table and held it out for her. “Renece, you remember Michelle, right?â€￾

She momentarily gave me a puzzled glance until putting a couple of pieces together. “Oh my goodness, you look so different from the pictures. You had straight hair the last time we met, right?â€￾

I nodded and took a sip of my ginger ale. “Yeah. Nice to see you again.â€￾

“Aww, you’re so cute with your little curls,â€￾ she cooed, smiling brightly.


“Justin, you told me that she was like seven months pregnant. You hardly look a month if you’re a day â€￾

I twisted in my chair so that my belly was no longer hidden by the table cloth. “I actually look overdue,â€￾ I commented, rolling my eyes.

“Whoa â€￾ she softly exclaimed. “Wow, you certainly can’t tell in the face. You know how most pregnant women look all swollen and exhausted. Girl, you look good.â€￾

I wish she wouldn’t compliment me. After Paige Maxwell, I cannot be forced to like her, too. “Thank you,â€￾ I smiled back.

“Justin, she’s so cute â€￾ she winked at him.

“Yeah, she’s just naturally gorgeous,â€￾ he interjected.

“Oh Have you tried out the pregnancy massage at Chelsea Piers? My sister said that it was to die for.â€￾

“Yeah, that’s what I hear. But they’re booked solid until June.â€￾

“Girl, you better use this man to your advantage,â€￾ she laughed, nudging Justin with her elbow. “Justin, hook your girl up with some of that celebrity stuff.â€￾

Jourdyn kicked me underneath the table and gave me a look that said the same thing I was thinking: This girl is too nice.


It was a late Tuesday night when Justin returned from yet another day of video rehearsal crap. Wide awake, wincing at my slight stomach pains, I silently consumed every little thing about him: his fresh scent of Zest and deodorant; the way he moved swiftly through a pitch black bedroom because he thought I was asleep; him creeping into the bed, trying his best not to disturb me. He intertwined his fingers with mine and pulled my hand up to his lips, kissing it lightly, tenderly - lovingly. “I love you,â€￾ he whispered into the silence.

“I love you, too.â€￾

“sh**, I didn’t mean to wake you up. I’m sorry.â€￾

“You didn’t wake me up,â€￾ I reassured him. “I’ve been up since you got home.â€￾

“Oh. Is everything all right?â€￾

“Couldn’t sleep. The baby’s been kicking like hell,â€￾ I chuckled.

“Can I do anything to help?â€￾

“Don’t go to France.â€￾

“What?â€￾ he laughed, turning onto his stomach to stare at me.

“I don’t like her. Don’t go to France.â€￾

“You don’t like France? Why?â€￾

I sighed heavily and stared back at him, despite the darkness. “I don’t like Renece.â€￾

“But you’ve been getting along so well all week. She adores you.â€￾

“Yes, but I’ve talked it over with Sydney and she agrees with me. She’s too damn nice.â€￾

“And that’s a bad thing?â€￾

“Any woman that’s that nice is trying to overcompensate for something. She can’t be trusted. I don’t want you to go.â€￾

<span style='color:black'>Do not waste this evening, baby I’m begging you
Your big imagination’s playing its tricks on you

“Michelle, please don’t start that,â€￾ he pleaded, rubbing his tired face. “She’s harmless.â€￾

“Justin, please just do me a favor and don’t go.â€￾

“I can’t not go.â€￾

“Why not?â€￾ I whined. “Why can’t you just shoot the video here in the city?â€￾

“Because I leave tomorrow afternoon and I can’t just cancel everything now.â€￾

“But Justin.â€￾

“Chelle,â€￾ he mocked me, kissing the middle of my palm. “Come on and go to sleep.â€￾

“You’re gonna leave me for her, aren’t you?â€￾

<span style='color:black'>If you think my up and leaving’s something I’m gonna do
Feel my chest when I look at you

“You’re kidding, right?â€￾

“No. She’s gorgeous. And smart. And funny. And she’s not fat. You’re gonna go to France and f*** her every chance you get. And I’ll be back here just driving myself crazy.â€￾

“You’re already crazy.â€￾ He gave me one more quick peck on the cheek and turned on his side, preparing to drop into slumber. “I love you and only you. Now go to sleep.â€￾

<span style='color:black'>You got my only heart</span>


Ugh. He left me. After I specifically asked him not to, Justin got on that plane to Paris to ‘shoot his video.’ And that shady ass Renece Barone is with him. It had been two days and even though I talked to him every chance I got, I still didn’t like the whole idea. I mean, this is just the start of it. After the album comes out, he’ll have to promote it. Then, after that, there’s the tour that lasts for like a year where he’ll be gallivanting all over the world with her by his side while he’s supposed to be singing songs about me. And then I’ll be here, taking care of our baby while doing the exact same thing I am now: worrying.

I was dialing Justin’s number for the ninth time in an hour, inwardly wishing that I could force him to answer my call. “Where the hell is he?â€￾ I grumbled to myself.

“Michelle, put the phone down,â€￾ Sydney told me, walking to the couch. She was up from Orlando on business and has been keeping me company since Justin left. But really, she’s just been annoying me. “He’ll call you when he can.â€￾

“Why can’t he just answer the damn phone â€￾

“Calm down, girl. He’s doing this little thing called ‘working’.â€￾

“Oh, but he couldn’t stop to hear the phone ring?â€￾

“Maybe,â€￾ she said, turning around to snatch the phone from me, “he doesn’t have it with him. He will call you, okay?â€￾

I waddled into the kitchen to use the cordless phone that sat in there. “I’m gonna call Heather.â€￾

“Stop â€￾ she instructed, running after me to grab the phone. “You’re stressing yourself out over absolutely nothing.â€￾

“How do you know that it’s nothing? How do you know that he’s not answering because he’s off with Renece, cheating on me?â€￾

“Because I know him. And I trust him.â€￾

“Well whatever. You’ve had twelve years to get used to this.â€￾

“Michelle, you’re being insane. Put down the phone and let’s find you something to eat for lunch before you pass out.â€￾

“I really wish people would stop calling me insane,â€￾ I smiled, handing her the phone to replace it in it’s base. “I think it’s only fair that I get to be irrational.â€￾

“Well what was your excuse before you were pregnant,â€￾ she grinned, scanning the full cabinets. “What you wanna eat?â€￾

Suddenly, a sharp pain went tearing through my abdomen and I dropped my mouth in uncomfortable shock. “Gimme the phone, Syd.â€￾

“Michelle, leave Justin alone. He’ll call you when he can.â€￾

“No,â€￾ I panted.


“No, seriously.â€￾ The pains began to come in spurts, each one more intense than the previous and I stumbled back into the counter behind me. “Syd, please.â€￾

Hearing me bump into the counter, she looked back at me in panic. “Chelle, what’s wrong Did your water break?â€￾

“No,â€￾ I hissed, shaking my head adamantly. I steadied myself by squeezing the refrigerator door handle and exhaled aggressively. “Oh, my God. It hurts.â€￾

“Michelle, you gotta tell me what to do, babe. You’re scaring the hell out of me.â€￾

I’m scaring the hell out of me, too. “Call 9-1-1.â€￾</span></span></span>

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Postby jts_senorita » Fri Jan 28, 2005 9:54 pm

:jawdrop: She's gonna have the baby!!! God, I hope Justin can get there in time. It would be awful if he couldn't... Aw, that's so cute, he's gonna be a Daddy. :wub: I'm so glad that Justin and Chelle are getting along better than they were.

Ewww... I don't like Renece. <_< She's definitly the kind of girl girl's hate. :lol: Ugh. And if Justin ever does anything with her (even though I trust that he won't) I will be very, very upset. :splat:

:lol: See how worked up your getting me? I feel like these people are real! That's when you know your a good writer. :nod: :thumbup:

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Postby SiMPLYiNSYNC » Fri Jan 28, 2005 10:33 pm

:o :( She's gonna have the baby! Ahhh damn. SEE JUSTIN. YOU SHOULD'VE LISTENED TO MICHELLE AND JUST STAYED. :no: I hope it's nothing and she's fine. :pray: Everything happens for a reason, right? :nod:

Renece, Renece. Hmm, if I was Michelle, I'd get a bit suspicious too. Hell, I get hella suspicious. We shall see what happens.

Awesomeness, Ash. You rock. :headbanger:

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Postby mtvjunkie » Sat Jan 29, 2005 12:56 pm

:unsure: You ended the chapter on that? :unsure: Don't scare me Ash, update now :pray:

I'm glad she was alright, I'm scared for her now though, I don't like whats happening and I don't like that Justin is away. It's not that I think he's cheating, it's just... he was right in posponing it, Michelle should have waited until after the baby was born :nod:

:yell: UPDATE! :unsure:

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Postby Angelpopstar7 » Sat Jan 29, 2005 5:06 pm

I'm here I'm here! :yay: thanks for trying to wait for me :wub: i'll try and be faster with the feedback next time :nod:

The last chapter had me soo freakin worried...i like justin thought some psycho person had come and kidnapped her or something happened to the baby :no: me and my always jumping to the worst possible conclusion :no: thankfully she was ok though....poor Jo tho..i hope that head of hers heals ok lol

now for this chapter

I hope that Chelle is ok :unsure: I hope that its just labor pains cause if its something else....then i dunno what i'll do...but justin needs to answer the d a m n phone and get his a s s back here....decorating the babys room to look like Justin...now i wouldn't mind having justin's face painted on my walls...i'll have to work on that...i'll tell my parents since i'm not allowed to have graffiti or splatter painting on my walls its gonna be justin lol

The Renece chick has me worried....as Chelle said in the story...when people are overly nice it makes you really suspicious as to what they're really up to....i just hope that she doesn't try and steal J from Chelle :unsure:


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Postby whatchagot4meMRJT » Sat Jan 29, 2005 9:28 pm

I totally forgot to do my feedback last night. :no: I think my shock from the ending disoriented my brain. :lol: Yeah, that's the excuse I'm working with. :nod:

Okay, wow, Chelle better not have the little bambino without Justin. That will be a very sad thing, but when a baby is on his/her way, there can be no delay. Hey! :P

Renece has been just lovely so far, but I don't know if the constant companionship element that she's providing is going to lead to more. :ph34r: That's what I'm afraid of, but hopefully she can be the one to keep Justin on the right path. I think she knows better than to be the homewrecker. :pray:

Chelle and Jourdyn. :rofl: That's a special pair right there. :lol: Hitting her head trying to save the little blimp. :rofl: I was glad that nothing major happened to Jourdyn. She's alive and well, and now has a hilarious story to tell. :lol:

Never gonna find the perfect rhyme for Heavier Things. ;)

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Postby JTnTN » Sun Jan 30, 2005 9:00 pm

See, I thought I was off the hook when there was already a Jourdyn in the story. :no: I guess I'm the Whore no matter what. :( But hey, I like her. :P Just don't make Miss Barone into anything more than the innocent dancer that loves who she works for and supports the jealous baby mama. You know, just like the rest of us. ;) :lol:

So yeah, it's still a little too early for Chelle to be having the baby. I mean, Justin's about as far away as he can get. :no: Don't do it like that, Ash. After I just went and voted for you, you can be goin' and breakin' my heart like that. That hurts, dude. That sh** hurts. :nod:

And speaking of Jourdyn. :rofl: Poor thing. See how Justin just f***s up everything with his crazy ass attitude. If he'd just gone to his damn party and stopped bein' a difficult ass, Chelle wouldn't have fallen, Jo would've been fine and I wouldn't be holding my breath every 10 minutes. COME HOME, JUSTIN! :yell:

That is all. :D

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Postby laura » Mon Jan 31, 2005 5:31 am

<span style='color:orange'>awww shes having the bambino...and hes in freakin france??? helllll noooooooo get home now....i want this to be a movie i swear....ash me and you team up and we could have a block buster on our hands....love it love it love it.................... :lol: yeah....dancers are slutty...no matter how nice they seem(sorry jordin.... :lol: ) so yeah that chicks up to something....hopefully not on our man since hes gonna be a daay an all.... :rolleyes: well...i await with baited breath!!!!!!!!! UPDATEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE</span>!

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Postby BabyBlue2578 » Mon Jan 31, 2005 9:21 pm

<span style='color:gray'>:lol: Y'all's comments are just off the damn chain. I really do love y'all. Just in case you didn't know that I meant it. :wub:

Anyway, yeah, I have another chapter. I know that I need to go for Surreal World, and I'm gonna make an earnest effort on that tomorrow. But I couldn't not update on Mr. JT's birthday, right? :P Anyway, I hope I don't disappoint you guys. :unsure: *NJoy. :blowkiss:</span>

<span style='font-size:17pt;line-height:100%'><span style='color:black'><span style='font-family:bernhardfashion bt'>12 - “From Mixed Drinks To Techno Beatsâ€￾</span></span></span>

<span style='font-size:10pt;line-height:100%'><span style='font-family:georgia'><span style='color:dodgerblue'>When I got to the hospital that afternoon, I was terrified. No, I was more than terrified. I was like, mortified. In the ambulance, I had these monstrous thoughts repeatedly running through my head. My mind has a habit of wandering and today was no exception. It got to a point that I was starting to believe that either me or my baby wasn’t going to make it through. Trust me, that is the scariest thought that a mother could ever have. It’s like guilt, helplessness and anger all rolled up into one big bewildering ball.

But then, thanks to the miracle of technology, by the time they rushed me through the ER doors, the pain had severely lessened. It was still rather uncomfortable, but they’re working on fixing that at this very moment. I’ve had ultrasounds and all that crap since we’ve arrived and now, we’ve inevitably had to wait. So for the time being, Sydney’s been standing beside me in my hospital bed, coddling me like a little child. When it’s not endearing, it’s just plain bothersome.

“Syd, not tryin’ to be rude here, but would you mind just backing up?â€￾ I said quietly. “I’m feeling really crowded right now.â€￾

She quickly removed her hand from the back of my neck and slipped to the other side of the room. “Sorry.â€￾

“I didn’t mean it like that,â€￾ I sighed, taking a sip from the glass of water she’d just poured me. “I just need a little space.â€￾

“No, I know, Chelle. It’s cool.â€￾

I sighed again and leaned nervously into the pillow behind me. It wasn’t rudeness that was making me act that way. It was the horrifying feeling I was getting in the pit of my stomach. “I’m scared,â€￾ I announced.


“Because. What if I lose him?â€￾

“Michelle, you cannot possibly be thinking about losing Justin at a time like this. What is wr–.â€￾

“Okay, no.â€￾ For once in my life, I’m almost proud to say that Justin didn’t even cross my mind. “I’m talking about my baby, Sydney.â€￾

“Oh.â€￾ She smiled, shyly, walking back over to me to hold my hand. “I knew that.â€￾

“I can’t lose him.â€￾

“You won’t.â€￾

“Can you do me a favor?â€￾ I requested, squeezing her hand.

“Anything, girl.â€￾

“If anything, like, happens and they have to decide between me and the baby, just make sure they choose him, okay?â€￾


“Syd, you gotta promise me.â€￾

“You can’t think like that.â€￾

“I have to. I’m a mother now and I have to put him first.â€￾ I gave her a pleading look, still holding on tight to her warm hand. “Please.â€￾

She nodded silently and pushed her hair out of her petite brown face. “Okay.â€￾

“Thank you,â€￾ I sincerely replied.

Just as the throbbing pain in my stomach intensified, the door to my room crept open and in walked my assigned doctor, Dr. Robinson. He was an attractive guy - the typical young, rich, successful white guy that probably lived somewhere uptown. In fact, he could’ve been cast as Will from Will & Grace if Eric McCormack hadn’t gotten the part. I was still deciding whether or not that was a good or bad thing. “How are you feeling?â€￾ he asked, evenly.

“Not bad,â€￾ I smiled. “Not good, either.â€￾

“Well we’re gonna see if we can fix that for you.â€￾ He pulled up one of the surrounding chairs that were meant for visiting guests and sat on the side of my bed opposite of where Sydney stood. “Michelle, have you had anything excessively stressful going on in your life lately?â€￾

“Besides pregnancy? Um, no. Not really,â€￾ I answered, looking up at Syd. “Right?â€￾

“Well there was the whole marriage thing,â€￾ she recalled. “Sorry about that, by the way.â€￾

“That was like almost two months ago, though,â€￾ I said in a rather dismissive manner.

“And then you and J were fighting a lot.â€￾

“Yeah,â€￾ I considered.

“Oh, and when the pain started, you were getting all worked up about Renece.â€￾

Just the mention of her name sent that same sharpness through my body. “Yeah, I guess I have been a bit stressed lately.â€￾

He nodded understandingly. “That does tend to happen at this stage. Especially with homosexual couples. You wouldn’t believe–.â€￾

“Whoa Wait. Back it up,â€￾ I interrupted, quickly dropping Sydney’s hand. “This is not a homosexual thing.â€￾

“Oh, I’m sorry. I just assumed–.â€￾

“No, no, no. She’s just here because my boyfriend is out of town on business. We’re just friends,â€￾ I chuckled nervously.

“Oh, I see. Well, in that case, I’m not sure whether you want her to stay, or wait in the waiting area...â€￾

“No, she can stay. She’s my support system.â€￾

“All right,â€￾ he smiled at both of us, grabbing my ‘chart’ from the foot of my bed, scanning the multicolored, pastel papers. “Oh, yeah it says right here, in bold who the father is. Guess that’s why you’re in our big room, huh?â€￾ he chuckled.


“It really is Justin Timberlake,â€￾ Sydney interjected. “We didn’t just put that down to be funny.â€￾

“No, I know,â€￾ he grinned.

“So um, did you have something to tell me?â€￾ I requested.

“Yeah. Now, I don’t want you to be alarmed, because we’re going to do absolutely everything in our power to fix this.â€￾

I felt the burn of tears hit the back of my eyes and I grabbed Sydney’s hand again. How dare they prepare you for something by saying, ‘Don’t be alarmed.’ Dude, get a f***ing clue. “Okay,â€￾ I exhaled.

“Okay, well when we did the sonogram, we found a slight complication with one of your babies.â€￾

Panic was settling in and all this doctor’s dramatic pauses were breaking me down. “Well, what is it?â€￾

“It seems that he was somehow knocked out of the correct fetal position and he’s facing the birth canal in the wrong direction.â€￾

“So how will that affect the birth?â€￾

“Well, what would happen is that it would result in a breech birth - which doesn’t always turn out bad, but it is a complication for some women, so we like to prevent it in any way possible. Therefore, what we want is to turn him around now so that come time for the labor, he’ll be back in the right position.â€￾


“So don’t worry,â€￾ he smiled, comfortingly, “you’re going to be fine.â€￾

“How does something like that happen?â€￾ Sydney replied.

“Well, we’re not always sure what initiates it. Sometimes, it’s the food you eat,â€￾ he said to me, “sometimes the body frame just isn’t big enough to support the position of the baby. And that’s even more common with multiple births. But most commonly, when you have too much stress, it really limits the movement of the baby because all of your muscles are so tense.â€￾

“And so, is this a risky procedure?â€￾

“It’s not very common, but it’s almost always successful,â€￾ he reassured us. “I have to warn you, however, that you have to relax. Your chart says that you’re dilated enough for us to complete the procedure, but again, if you’re too tense, it will become extremely difficult to complete the process without excessive discomfort.â€￾

“Okay,â€￾ I told him. “I can do that.â€￾

He got up from his chair and directed a warm smile at me in my completely frightened state. “You’re going to be just fine, Michelle.â€￾

“Can I ask you something else?â€￾

“Sure. Anything.â€￾

“Um. Do you think that this could be caused by, like, a fall?â€￾

“It’s very possible. Have you fallen recently?â€￾

“Yeah, about two weeks ago,â€￾ I remembered, tears streaming down my eyes. “My poor baby.â€￾

Syd immediately began to rub my back in solace. “Chelle, come on, babe. Don’t cry.â€￾

“Yes, Michelle, all three of you will be fine.â€￾

I nodded in understanding. I mean, I could grasp that concept. That just didn’t change the fact that I was scared out of my mind. But I wiped my eyes and relaxed for the sake of my son. “Okay.â€￾

“So you prepare for the procedure by relaxing; resting up. And I’ll come and check on you in about an hour or so. We’re going to try and get through this tonight.â€￾

I nodded and watched him walk to the door. “Thank you, Dr. Robinson.â€￾ After he smiled and vacated the large room, I sighed and fell back into my pillows, once again. “I should’ve gotten checked out that day.â€￾

“What day?â€￾

“The day that I fell.â€￾

“You didn’t?â€￾

I shook my head, despondently. “I was so scared for Jourdyn, I didn’t want to leave her side.â€￾

“Chelle, you can’t blame yourself.â€￾

“Who else is there to blame?â€￾

“You slipped and fell. It was so far from your fault. It was an accident.â€￾

“I know. I just – I dunno.â€￾ I glanced at the phone lying beside me and thought of Justin. “Did you get in touch with J?â€￾

“Not yet. I left him about four messages while you were getting examined, though.â€￾

“Could you call him again for me? And tell him to call me in the room?â€￾ I sniffled.

“I don’t think they’ll mind if I use my phone in here.â€￾

“I don’t think you should.â€￾

“Oh, please. You’ve got Justin’s name on your chart. You can do anything,â€￾ she giggled, digging through her pockets for her Motorola.

“But isn’t a safety precaution? Like the signals interfere with their equipment.â€￾

“One call is not gonna make a difference, Chelle. They just say that so that everyone won’t use their cells.â€￾ She pressed the button to get Justin on the phone and waited momentarily for an answer. When I heard the faint sound of his voice through the phone in the silent room, she handed it to me. “I’m gonna get you something to eat,â€￾ she whispered.

“Hello?â€￾ I said into the mouthpiece.

“Hey, baby,â€￾ he answered with sorrow. “I got Syd’s message. Are you okay?â€￾

“Yeah, I’m fine.â€￾ It felt so good to hear his voice.

“Listen, the first flight I can get isn’t until the morning. Is that all right?â€￾

“Where are you going?â€￾ I asked.

“I’m coming back home,â€￾ he chuckled in a ‘duh’ tone.

“No, Justin, I don’t want you to come home. I’m absolutely fine.â€￾

“Then why are you in the hospital?â€￾

“It was just cramps,â€￾ I lied. “It’s nothing for you to come back for.â€￾

“I dunno,â€￾ he answered, skeptically. “I wanna be there for you, Chelle.â€￾

“Justin, please. It wasn’t even worth calling for. I’m fine.â€￾

“You sure?â€￾

“Yeah. I don’t want you to have to put off your album and video stuff anymore. I’ll be out of here in no time and I’ll just see you when you get home.â€￾ I winced at another pain and watched Sydney strut back into the room, followed by a candy-striper and a rolling table full of food.

“I just feel like I should be there,â€￾ he insisted.

“Please don’t worry about me.â€￾ Sydney placed a tray full of fruit on the table next to me and poured more water. “So hey, how’s the video going?â€￾ I asked.

“It’s going pretty good,â€￾ he reasoned. “I can’t wait to get home to you, though.â€￾

“Aww,â€￾ I smiled to myself, taking a piece of cantaloupe from the plate beside me. It was then that I heard that damn Renece in the background. “So where are you?â€￾ I questioned, just as that same pain that I always have went flashing through my ribs.

“In the car. On my way back to the hotel.â€￾

“And Renece is with you?â€￾

“Yeah, we’re all in the car.â€￾

“Who is she talking to?â€￾

“She was just telling me that they found a flight for me to leave on tonight, but since you’re all right, I guess I’ll stay and finish up the video.â€￾

“Yeah,â€￾ I sighed from the intensifying twinges. “Well have fun, okay?â€￾

“You leavin’ me?â€￾

“Yeah, I’m gonna eat something, ‘cause I haven’t had anything since breakfast. So you call me before you go to bed, all right?â€￾

“All right. I love you.â€￾

“Love you, too.â€￾ The pangs were getting worse, and I couldn’t figure out whether they were guilt or pregnancy pains. I hated lying to Justin, but I didn’t want him worrying about me. Ignorance is bliss, right? “I’m gonna give the phone back to Syd now.â€￾

“Later, baby.â€￾

I sent him a kiss through the phone and handed it back to Sydney while immediately calling the nurse. Apparently, whatever they had given me to ease the pain was wearing off. And yeah, it hurt. sh**. Maybe lying to Justin wasn’t the best idea.


<span style='color:black'>“Hey, how you holdin’ up?â€￾ Syd asked, after taking the phone from Michelle.

“Well I’m all right as long as she is.â€￾

“Yeah, after the procedure goes through, I’m sure she’ll be absolutely fine.â€￾

Say what? “What procedure?â€￾

I could hear Sydney shuffle out of whatever area she was in and close a door before answering. “Chelle didn’t tell you?â€￾

She comes and goes and comes and goes like no one can

“She said she had cramps. What the hell kind of ‘procedure’ is she having?â€￾

“Oh sh**, Justin. I don’t wanna get her in trouble,â€￾ she whined. “Forget I said anything.â€￾

“Hell f***in’ no, I’m not gonna forget it!â€￾ I yelled. “If there’s something wrong with my baby, then tell me!â€￾

“Okay, calm down. I’m sorry.â€￾

“Just start talkin’, Syd.â€￾

“There’s nothing to be alarmed about. Apparently when she fell the other night, the baby was repositioned in her stomach and he’s facing the wrong way.â€￾

“Okay. So what now?â€￾

“So they’re gonna try and turn him around.â€￾

That sh** doesn’t even sound possible. “And they’re sure that’s gonna work?â€￾

“Well no, they’re never sure. But Dr. Robinson has a positive outlook.â€￾

“Who the hell is Dr. Robinson?â€￾ I sputtered. “Where’s Chelle’s regular doctor!â€￾

“Justin, please calm down,â€￾ she whispered. “Michelle is absolutely fine, aside from a few minor pains. I’m sure that Dr. Stanton will be here soon.â€￾

“Hold on,â€￾ I mumbled. I turned around to face Renece, who was falling asleep at the back of the car. “Yo, what time did you say that flight was leaving?â€￾

“Um, I think it was leaving at like 11:00,â€￾ she answered with a yawn. “You goin’ back?â€￾

“Yeah, Michelle is having problems and sh**.â€￾ I turned back to the front and tapped Eric, who was also falling asleep in the passenger seat, on the ride back to our hotel. “Yo, I need to go to the airport.â€￾

“For what?â€￾

“Baby stuff.â€￾ I watched him alert the driver and then went back to Sydney. “Tell Michelle that I’m on my way home,â€￾ I directed.

“Justin, you don’t have to come home. I’m here for her; Jo will be here soon. There’s really no need for you to come.â€￾

“f*** that. It’s my baby, whether the three of you realize that or not. I’m on my way.â€￾ I hung up the phone before she could get in another word and leaned against the window on my side of the car.

I felt Renece’s gloved hand touch the shoulder of my coat. “Everything all right?â€￾

“Yeah, just frustrated, man.â€￾

“You wanna talk about it?â€￾

“Nah. I’ll be all right.â€￾ We silently passed through the fog of the Saint Germain quarter with me absolutely worried sick about what was going on. Just the fact that Michelle would keep anything from me concerning our baby makes me sick to my stomach. “I cannot f***ing believe she lied to me.â€￾

She comes and goes and no one knows she’s slipping through my hands

“You sure you don’t wanna talk about it?â€￾

“No, I’m fine,â€￾ I insisted.

“What did she lie about?â€￾

“She told me that she was just having cramps, knowin’ good and damn well that there was a problem with our son. I mean, what gives her the right to just flat out lie to me like that? She left me out of this pregnancy for five f***in’ months! Then she gives me the go-ahead to come out here and then won’t even tell me what’s happening while I’m gone. Why am I always the last to know?â€￾

She’s always buzzin’ just like neon, neon


I found myself rushing back through the doors of NYU Downtown Hospital in the middle of the night, once again. You’d think that with all these trips to the hospital, I’d have a baby by now. But nope, I’m still just scared out of my mind. This time, I have the luxury of somewhat knowing what’s going on, and the companionship of Eric, at the very least.

I was walking in circles, searching for the elevator. “Syd said that she was in Room 509,â€￾ I commented, pacing.

“How ‘bout you slow down and –.â€￾

“I’ll just walk upstairs,â€￾ I interrupted, making a beeline for the labeled staircase. I knew Eric wouldn’t follow, but I didn’t have time to wait on him. When I got to the fifth floor, I didn’t even stop at the receptionist desk to sign in. Hell, I didn’t even know what direction 509 was in. I just went for it and hoped that I’d find a pattern.

“Justin.â€￾ It was Sydney’s voice that I heard behind me as I frantically searched each room door number.

“Where is she?â€￾ I whispered, turning back around.

“I didn’t tell her that you were coming.â€￾


“Because they told me to keep her relaxed. I don’t know if she should see you just yet.â€￾

“Me?â€￾ I shouted. “You don’t think she should see me!â€￾

“Calm down!â€￾ she hissed, quietly. “We’re in a f***in’ hospital, dude.â€￾


“Yes, I don’t think she should see you because it might upset her.â€￾

“Why? Why? What the hell have I done?â€￾

“First of all, you’re all on edge and your little crazy ass attitude is gonna get to her.â€￾

“Sydney, this is not fair,â€￾ I said, apathetically. “It’s my baby, too.â€￾

“I know. I know it’s hard.â€￾ She rubbed her hand back and forth across my back, instinctively, but nonetheless, uneffective. “She just didn’t think there was a reason to upset you.â€￾

I crouched into Syd’s awaiting embrace, sighing in exasperation. “Why doesn’t she trust me?â€￾ That’s all I want to know. “What did I ever do to lose her trust?â€￾

Who knows how long she can go before she burns away

“She’s scared, Justin. Don’t make it any harder on her.â€￾

“Where is she?â€￾ I asked again. “Have they done it yet?â€￾

“No, they decided to wait until the morning. She’s in her room trying to get to sleep.â€￾

The two of us began our walk down the wide pastel corridor as I scanned each patient’s door, containing all of their information. We reached Room 509, which resembled more of a hotel suite than a hospital room, and I peeked through the side window panel to see that Chelle was, in fact, sleeping like a baby. It made me smile when I read the name on the door: Michelle Alexander-Timberlake. If only... “Can I sit in there?â€￾ I asked.

“If you promise not to yell and get all crazy and sh** if she wakes up.â€￾

“Anything for my baby,â€￾ I chuckled, giving her a halfhearted smile.

Syd gave me a peck at the top of my right hand and sent me into the cool hospital room. “I’ll be in the waiting room.â€￾

Slowly, careful not to wake her up, I walked over to Michelle’s bed. She looked peaceful, but not necessarily comfortable, positioned in the full-sized contraption that they call a bed, snoring lightly. I sat down beside her in the chair that I assume once belonged to Sydney, still gazing at Chelle. I hated to sit there and look at her as if she were in a coma, but maybe it would work to my advantage. Maybe I could say everything that I wanted to say without her having to actually hear it. I took her little hand in mine, staring at her tiny, slender fingers, delicately manicured with a neutral nail polish shade. I smiled at how perfect her hands were.

I can’t be her angel now
You know it’s not my place to hold her down
And it’s hard for me to take a stand
When I would take her any way I can

“I’m mad at you,â€￾ I said to the silence. She didn’t flinch, didn’t bat an eyelash, switch positions - nothing. “I wish you had told me what was really wrong. You know, on my way over here, I told myself that I wouldn’t speak to you when I got here. I was gonna make you sweat about as much as you make me sometimes. But then, I realized how insanely immature that was,â€￾ I chuckled. “So then I wondered if it would be better for us both if we went our separate ways for a while. Maybe all this breakup to makeup stuff is a sign that we’re really not supposed to be together right now. This whole clandestine pregnancy has taken its toll on me. It’s like you don’t trust me enough to tell me anything anymore. I don’t get it. Like, every time I’m the last to find out something else, it creates this huge, gaping hole in my chest that I don’t know what to do with, Chelle. I mean, I don’t want to let you go. Not that I ever could, even if I wanted to. But this just doesn’t seem to be working right now. I dunno,â€￾ I sighed, rubbing my face with my free hand. I looked over the rest of her body, my eyes stopping at her stomach. It’s still hard to conceptualize that a life is growing in there. And I know that all this drama can’t be good for him. “My mom said that when we broke up last January, she always told you that everything would be okay in the end. And that if it’s not okay, then it’s not the end.â€￾ I looked up when I felt her lightly squeeze my hand. It seemed that she was still fast asleep, but maybe on some level, she heard me loud and clear. I softly kissed her beautiful fingers and added, “Just remember that.â€￾

She comes and she goes like no one can
She comes and she goes
She’s slipping through my hands

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Postby whatchagot4meMRJT » Mon Jan 31, 2005 9:35 pm

:( If they couldn't turn the Titanic around, they better be able to turn this baby around, dammit. :pray: This cannot be happening. :no: *Sad* I'm just going to hope that the doctors are skilled and confident and can correct this situation. :please:

It hurt me to hear Justin say all of that. :( Although, I'd be hurt, too, if the person I loved lied about something as dangerous and serious as this matter. I know that she was doing it to stop him from getting worked up and acting like a nut, but he needed to know the deal. :nod:

I'm wondering if she heard his confession. That little sneak might not have been sleeping. :thinking:

The happiest part of this chapter was the homosexual couple mix up. :rofl:

A great, yet sad chapter!

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Postby mtvjunkie » Tue Feb 01, 2005 5:55 am

:huh: Multiple birth? :blink: I didn't just read that did I?
we found a slight complication with one of your babies.
Well, yeah, I guess I did :thinking: Or did everyone already know that and I only just picked it up? :rofl: Sounds very possible :lol:

I liked the lesbian couple thing too, I'm sure they'd make a darn fine couple :nod: ;) Although they'd probably argue just as much as Chelle and Justin. Oh Justin Justin Justin, you two have broken up enough already :no: and it's so sad that you think it has to come to that :( But I can see why you're so hurt. Why am I talking to you directly? :confused: :lol:

:clap: Great chapter, now gimme another :D

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Postby laura » Tue Feb 01, 2005 10:19 am

shes having more than one baby? ok? and she didnt pick up on what he said??oookkk im confused... :blink: but did he just wanna break up with her just now? aww ash its been a long day....explain..... :lol: :rolleyes: B) but as confused as i am im sure you'll fix it in no time!!! :D upddddddddddddddddate!!!!!!!!!

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Postby Angelpopstar7 » Tue Feb 01, 2005 4:28 pm

no Helena i think that Chelle and Justin are going to be in for the surprise of their lives :nod: i was like babies? multiple birth? the three of you? SHE'S HAVING TWINS! :yay:

I hope that the doctor gets everything situated though....we can't be having a breech baby cause then they'd have to do a c-section and those things hurt like a mofo....at least thats what i've heard...not sure if its true or not? :shrug: but anyways....

Justin :wub: hes sooo freakin cute cause hes soo worried about her....at least i think its cute when guys are worried about their girls and stuff like that....maybe i'm just weird like that...and what he said to her at the end.....ahhh Justin!!!!


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Postby justins bubbles » Tue Feb 01, 2005 8:37 pm

<span style='color:blue'>Yeah I'm pretty sure I'd pick up on "one of your babies..." :blink: I mean pushing one out has to be hard enough, but TWO? :blink: And how did Syd miss that, too? :lol: But yay for Juschelle ( :lol: ) having twins!

Another chapter that leaves me wondering where the hell this is going to end up. I love it! But I hate how unsure they are about their relationship. Lynn always was a wise one... they should listen to her. :nod: I think they should just get past all their stubborness and get married and continue to have lots of sex and babies. :D The End. </span>

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Postby SiMPLYiNSYNC » Tue Feb 01, 2005 8:49 pm

:o More than 1 Little Lake? Hmm. Awesomeness.

I hope they work their whole situation out and live happily ever after the the baby...or babies. :shrug: I wonder if she heard him talking and if she didn't, I wonder if he would tell her what he said again. Hmmm, :thinking:

Great chapter. :nod:

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Postby jts_senorita » Tue Feb 01, 2005 10:09 pm

:D Aw.. Thanks for posting so much. :D It's fun.

But woah.... :huh: is she really haveing two?? I didn't even notice that. :blink:

God.. I'd be really mad too, if I was Justin. It was very immature of her to lie to him... She sort of makes bad decisions in thier relationship. They both do. But they are ment to be together! I'd I stilll believe they can work it out! :yay:

But again, about the "twins"... wouldn't they have told her that when they told her it was a boy? :huh:

:lol: Anyways... I love this! Keep 'em coming! :D

Hehe.. I have "Neon" stuck in my head now. :)

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Postby JTnTN » Wed Feb 02, 2005 9:11 pm

I wasn't gonna reply, just to spite you. But I tried to forget you. I tried to stay away. But it's too late. :lol:

I understand where Justin's coming from, but don't do it like that. I really don't think that Michelle means the stupid things she does. She's prego. Give the child a break! AND she doesn't even know that she's having two kids! :huh: That's enough of a strain. Don't break up with her, Justin! :lonely:

She always told you that everything would be okay in the end. And that if it’s not okay, then it’s not the end.

^_^ I love that! Yay for Mama Lynn. That's one of my favorite lines of all three stories. :clap: I'mma remember that. ;)

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Postby laura » Thu Feb 03, 2005 10:46 am

<span style='color:purple'>isnt that line from a tv show or something... i swear i heard it b4....ASH??? wheres it from or am i crazy....*Ok dont answer that part* but i swear i heard it b4????</span> :huh:

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Postby Angelpopstar7 » Fri Feb 04, 2005 9:18 pm

wheres our update Ash? For once i'm up to date and you aren't updating *tisk* *tisk*

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Postby BabyBlue2578 » Thu Feb 10, 2005 2:55 pm

<span style='color:gray'>:wave: Hey people. I have another chapter. I apologize for the boringness, but I do have another one tonight to make up for it, so forgive me! :lol:

And Laura, I have no idea where I got that quote from. :ph34r: But I did hear it somewhere else. I think. :lol: Anywho, here goes!</span>

<span style='font-family:bernhardfashion bt'><span style='color:black'><span style='font-size:17pt;line-height:100%'>13 - “The Breath You Leftâ€￾</span></span></span>

<span style='font-size:10pt;line-height:100%'><span style='color:dodgerblue'>It’s over. They completed the procedure, and although I was a bit groggy, I’m pretty sure that they said everything went off without a hitch. Now, for the next two months, I just have to avoid any extraneous activities. I’m not so excited about being laid up in a bed for that long, but the last thing I want is to have anything happen to my son, so I plan to take heed and then some.

I was enjoying the silence of my hospital room, squinting through the late morning sunniness to view the outside world, when both my regular doctor, Dr. Stanton, and the cute one from the hospital, Dr. Robinson, entered with smiling faces. “Hi,â€￾ I greeted them, doing my best to sit up.

“Good morning, Chelle,â€￾ Dr. Stanton replied. She and I had become pretty close over the past few months, which is why she can call me Chelle. “How are you feeling?â€￾

“I’m good,â€￾ I nodded. “Good morning, Dr. Robinson.â€￾

“Good morning.â€￾

“Any updates for me? How are we doing?â€￾

“Not really an update,â€￾ Dr. Stanton began to explain, “but did I want to come in and apologize to you.â€￾

Oh, sh**. Oh, Lord. “Okay.â€￾

“Don’t worry,â€￾ she added, seeing me becoming extremely flustered, “you’re fine. And your babies are fine.â€￾

My nervousness severely subsided, but I glanced up at her and then to Dr. Robinson, who sat inches from me in a once-empty, random chair. So wait – “I’m sorry, did you say ‘babies’?â€￾

“Well, I guess she doesn’t know,â€￾ she relayed to her colleague. “Yes, Michelle. You’re having twins.â€￾

“What?â€￾ I mean... “How?â€￾ Like... “What?â€￾

“That’s why I wanted to apologize,â€￾ she explained. “I won’t make excuses as to why I missed that bit of information unless you want me to, but I really am sorry.â€￾

I patted my forehead with my left hand and then pinched myself to make sure I wasn’t evilly dreaming up this entire sequence of events. “Oh, my God. Are you sure?â€￾

“Well,â€￾ Dr. Robinson inserted, “at first glance of the ultrasounds, the two fetuses are very easy to miss, but since we turned one around, the separate heartbeats are very present. So yes, we’re completely sure,â€￾ he smiled.

I love his bedside manner. He explains things so that even I can understand. “Wow. Twins?â€￾

“You’re having twins,â€￾ he confirmed. “Congratulations.â€￾

I didn’t even know what to say. I was so excited that my jaw simply dropped into a smile. “Wow!â€￾

Dr. Stanton leaned over to give me a hug. “I hope that you can forgive me, Chelle.â€￾

“Oh, my goodness. Don’t even worry about it,â€￾ I sighed. “This is just – Oh, my goodness. I have to call Justin! He’s gonna be so excited.â€￾ I could just imagine his face when I tell him we’re having two kids. I wish I could actually see his face. That smile would light up all of France. My God. We’re having twins!

“I believe he’s still in the waiting area if you want me to get him,â€￾ she informed me.

“I’m sorry?â€￾

“Justin? Would you like me to send him in?â€￾

“He’s here?â€￾

“He’s been in the waiting room since early this morning.â€￾

What the? When did he get here? “You’re kidding.â€￾

“I’ll go get him for you,â€￾ she smiled.

“Remember to take it easy,â€￾ Dr. Robinson reminded me. “And I’m just a call away if you need me – #404 on your phone.â€￾

“Thank you.â€￾ I excitedly watched to two of them leave the room and anticipated seeing Justin’s elated face when I told him this huge news. I mean, twins! Sure, it’s gonna be double the craziness, twice the pain of pushing out a baby, two times more trouble being a mom when Justin is away, but then, we get to experience just that much more joy in raising two children.

Just when I was about to get lost in the euphoria of having two babies, the door to my room reopened and in walked a few of my most favorite people in the world: Justin, followed by my mom, as well as Sydney, Jourdyn, Lynn, Eric and... Renece? Well what the f*** is she doing here?

“Hey,â€￾ I smiled to them all, trying my best to ignore the dumb whore.

My mom was the first to greet me with a huge bouquet of kisses. “How are you, sweetie?â€￾

“I’m fine, ma,â€￾ I said, grabbing her arm in comfort.

She rocked back and forth, smothering me in her flamboyant hot pink blazer and Shalimar perfume. “I was so worried about my baby!â€￾

“Mom, you didn’t have to come all the way to New York just for this.â€￾

“Girl, hush. You wasn’t ‘bout to have me sittin’ in Texas worried sick,â€￾ she loudly laughed, wiping her matching pink lipstick from my forehead and face. “I’m just glad you’re okay, baby.â€￾

“I’m great,â€￾ I smiled.

“You gave us a nice little scare, though,â€￾ Lynn added, letting her gorgeous, infectious smile turn into her signature country chuckle. She appeared on the other side of the bed and gently kissed the top of my hand. “I’m glad you’re okay, too, sweetie.â€￾

“Thank you,â€￾ I grinned. “But y’all really didn’t have to leave Texas,â€￾ I said to my own mother, “or Tennessee,â€￾ I directed to Lynn, “just to see me. I was fine.â€￾

“Yeah, we had it under control,â€￾ Sydney interjected, “but you knew the grandmas weren’t gonna stay away.â€￾

“Sydney, I must say that you handled it,â€￾ I agreed. “But you know, since you’re my lover and all, you didn’t really have a choice but to do your thing.â€￾

We both laughed heartily while everyone else looked at us in confusion. “Wait,â€￾ Jourdyn interrupted with an innocent confusion entering her green-eyed stare. “What y’all talkin’ about?â€￾

“When we first got to the hospital,â€￾ I began, chuckling,“one of my doctors thought that Syd was my girlfriend since Justin wasn’t here and she was like, you know, taking care of everything.â€￾

“I would’ve been here sooner if you’d just told me the truth,â€￾ Justin finally spoke up.

The room’s attention was suddenly diverted to him, standing solitarily by the door, preoccupying himself with the doorknob. I gave him an inspiriting grin and a bashful wave. “Hey, baby.â€￾

He sent back an acknowledging nod and a solemn glance. “Hey.â€￾

“So what’s up? I don’t get a hug or anything?â€￾

“Of course.â€￾ He walked over and embraced me with that infamously distant pat on the back, followed by a forehead kiss – much like the ones I’d just received from my mother.

I held onto his hand so that he couldn’t make a beeline back for his position by the door. “You okay?â€￾

“Yeah,â€￾ he nodded. “Just kinda tired.â€￾

“Oh, yeah. You have to be exhausted.â€￾

“He hasn’t slept at all today,â€￾ Renece interjected. “By the way, hi!â€￾

“Hi,â€￾ I stated, simply and looked back at Justin. “I can’t believe you flew all the way back just for me. That’s so sweet, baby.â€￾

“Yeah, well.â€￾

Renece, adamant and annoying as always, found her way to the side of my bed where Justin and my mom stood. “I bought you some flowers. I didn’t know what kind you liked, so I picked up some lilies.â€￾

sh**, I love lilies. “Thank you.â€￾

She smiled and nodded. “I’ll leave you to your family. I just wanted to let you know that you’re in my prayers.â€￾

I hate her. Why the hell is she so nice? “I appreciate that, Renece.â€￾

“J, keep me updated?â€￾ she requested, rubbing his back.

“Yeah,â€￾ he smiled genuinely. “And thanks for everything.â€￾

I watched happily while she exited the room quickly and quietly and then went back to my so-called conversation with Justin. “So, I have some awesome news for you,â€￾ I told him. “You’re, like, gonna die of happiness with this one.â€￾

He offered a meek little grin, but continued to look down at the light blue and white tiles on the floor. “Yeah, I think we need to talk, too.â€￾

“Well um, maybe we should leave the two of them alone,â€￾ Lynn suddenly suggested. “We just wanted to let you know that we’re here for you, sweetie.

My mom nodded along with her and consumed my face in kisses one more time. “And you know we love you and that baby more than anything, right?â€￾

I laughed at her overwhelming love for me and smiled. “Thanks, ma. And yes, we do know that,â€￾ I reassured her.

“Well, I’m gonna have to see you later, Chelle. ‘Cause I have a class in ten minutes that I’m about to be late for,â€￾ Jo announced. “But you and that little bambino better stay safe. I can’t get scared like this every week.â€￾

“Girl, after the scare you gave me, I think we’re even,â€￾ I winked.

Eric, who’d been silent up to now, put in his own two cents. “You better stay strong, baby girl.â€￾

“I’m tryin’.â€￾

“Come on, Jo. Let’s get you to class,â€￾ he finished, the two of them leaving the room with a wave.

I sighed as my closely-knit group of comfort quickly dwindled. My mom and Sydney remained propped next to the open door while Lynn gave me one last squeeze. “Everything’s gonna be okay,â€￾ she encouraged. “Just hang in there.â€￾

I wanted to frown and ask what the hell she was talking about – everything was already okay – but instead I gave her a kiss on the cheek and thanked her again, watching the other two women at the door to leave me and Justin in solitude. He remained aloof when he spoke, fidgeting with the Venetian blinds and staring out of the large window at downtown Manhattan. “So do they know when you’ll be out of here?â€￾

“They haven’t let me know yet. Hopefully before the end of the week.â€￾


“So hey, come here. I have something to tell–.â€￾

“It’s a gorgeous day out,â€￾ he interrupted, turning my words to insignificance. “Are you at least allowed to go outside?â€￾

“I dunno, Justin. Why are you ignoring me?â€￾

“Why did you lie to me?â€￾

“Lie to you? What are you talking about?â€￾

“You told me that you just had cramps,â€￾ he remembered, finally turning to face me with a broken glare in his dark blue eyes. “Why would you do that?â€￾

“Because I didn’t want you to have to stop your video shoot to come back for this. It was nothing,â€￾ I reasoned.

“You can’t decide that, Michelle!â€￾

“I’m sorry!â€￾

“Why am I always the last to know!â€￾

“You don’t have to yell,â€￾ I said softly. “You don’t have to yell at me.â€￾

He continued to shout, nonetheless. “Then answer me! Why? Why am I always the last to know what’s going on with you and with our baby?â€￾


“What did I do to you?â€￾

“You didn’t do anything,â€￾ I shot back. “You’ve been nothing but perfect to me.â€￾

“Then why won’t you let me love you!â€￾


All you need is love is a lie
‘Cause we had love, but we still said goodbye

“I can’t keep doing this, Michelle.â€￾ He walked over to me and bent down to a kneel on the floor. “You’re driving me crazy.â€￾

“What are you saying?â€￾

“I’m saying – I don’t know what I’m saying. But I mean, why didn’t I find out you were pregnant until November? Why did I propose and you said ‘no’? Why, just when I think that we’re finally okay, do you neglect to tell me that there’s something wrong with my child?â€￾

“I don’t know.â€￾ How do I answer that? “I dunno, Justin. I’ve made mistakes, I know. But I’m sorry! I’m not perfect.â€￾

“Yeah, no sh**.â€￾

“Don’t do that.â€￾

“What? Don’t admit the truth? I know you’re not big on it, but honesty works f***in’ wonders for a relationship, Michelle.â€￾

“Don’t f***ing patronize me! I know I’ve f***ed up! You do not have to rub it in.â€￾

“Sorry,â€￾ he finally relented. “I’m sorry.â€￾

I chuckled at this ongoing fight that we seem to have every few weeks. We just can’t shake it. “I thought we’d be done with this by now.â€￾

Now we’re tired, battered fighters

“Me, too.â€￾ He stood from his knees and sat down in one of the chairs that sat underneath the window, across the room. “When are you gonna stop, Chelle?â€￾

“I – It just seems like I can’t win.â€￾ I sighed sadly, wishing there were a simple answer to everything wrong in life.

“You can win if you’re honest with yourself and with me.â€￾

“I’m not selfish,â€￾ I stated. I knew that’s what he was thinking. “I just love you.â€￾

“Then why?â€￾

“I didn’t want you to come back for me. And I knew that if I told you what was going on, you would have.â€￾

“But I have the right to know, Chelle. You can’t take that choice away from me just because you think I’m gonna make a decision that you don’t like. You already took that from me for five months.â€￾

“I know.â€￾

“And now, I’m tryin’, babe. I really am.â€￾

“I’m trying, too.â€￾

“You just don’t know what you’re trying to do,â€￾ he finished for me. “I know.â€￾

And it stings when it’s nobody’s fault
‘Cause there’s nothing to blame at the drop of your name

“I called you about forty times yesterday,â€￾ I halfheartedly chuckled. “I had convinced myself that you were with Renece. And then, that’s how I ended up here.â€￾

“Wait, I’m sorry – Are you trying to blame me for this?â€￾

“Did I say that?â€￾

“You implied it.â€￾

“No, I didn’t. I’m just talking, Justin.â€￾

“And you’re saying that it’s my fault that you’re here.â€￾

“What! I didn’t even allude to that.â€￾

“That’s exactly what you insinuated. Need I remind you that you’re the one that met up with Jive behind my back to ‘get me back on my feet,’ as you like to put it. Now you’re gonna blame me when I do my job?â€￾

I just wanted to grab my face and pull the anger and frustration off of it. What the hell was he on? “No, Justin, I’m not blaming you for anything.â€￾

“Then what are you doing?â€￾

“I’m talking. Sue me!â€￾

“That’s your problem. You always talk but you don’t say a goddamn thing, Michelle.â€￾

“Okay, shut up.â€￾

“f*** you. It’s my turn now.â€￾

“You’re the one that’s been talking the whole time. I had something to say to you, but I’ve let you harass the sh** out of me for the past... however long we’ve been here and you’re the one that hasn’t said anything. So shut up. Shut up! Shut. Up!â€￾

“You need to grow up.â€￾

“I grew up a long time ago. I’m just waiting for you,â€￾ I shot back.

“I don’t think so, Miss ‘I can do bad all by myself’. Newsflash, Michelle: You cannot be a kid and have a kid.â€￾

“So we’re throwing insults around now?â€￾

“Seems that’s all we’ve done for the past year, actually.â€￾

“Yeah, why should I expect any different now.â€￾ I pressed my lips together and let out a weird, rather defeated kind of noise. “Why did you bring Renece here?â€￾

“What?â€￾ he asked, looking up from the floor.

“Why did you bring Renece? Were you trying to make me jealous or somethin’? What was that about?â€￾

“I didn’t bring her. She flew in this morning to see how you–. Nevermind.â€￾

“What? What were you gonna say?â€￾

“It doesn’t matter what I was gonna say,â€￾ he quipped. He paused to keep his eyes on the floor before affirming what I knew he was thinking all along. “I think we should just break up for a while.â€￾

“I don’t think that right now is a time to joke, Justin.â€￾

“I’m not joking. We’re f***in’... driving ourselves insane here. It can’t be good for you. I know it’s not good for the baby.â€￾ I shot him an evil glare and basked in my silence. “Michelle, I’m not doing this because I don’t love you. And it’s not because I don’t care or because I wanna hurt you. I just don’t know where else to go. I don’t know if this is a permanent state for us or if we’re just at a standstill because of the pregnancy and a sh**load of tension – I dunno. I just feel too trapped to move anywhere but out right now. I feel like we’re not going anywhere, and if it’s because we don’t have anywhere else to go, well then I’m just not ready to find that out yet. I’m sor–.â€￾

“Get out.â€￾

He stuttered over my words, which I’m sure he wasn’t expecting to hear, but continued to talk. “I – I’m sorry if you’re angry, but I think that you’ll see this as the best thing for us right now. And if it’s not, then we’ll get where we’ll need to be.â€￾

I didn’t say anything more. I let his words hit me like bee stings and desperately tried to avoid crying at all costs. But my efforts proved to be unnecessary when tears came crashing down my face and I was forced to hide them from him by covering my face. I mean, when does it ever end?

He got up and stood in front of me, waiting for me to say something else. “Say something, Michelle. Please.â€￾ I would have said something, but I couldn’t find any words. I didn’t know how to tell him that he was right, but so wrong. Leaving me never fixes anything. “Okay, well I’m around if you need me.â€￾ he finally added. “I’m... sorry.â€￾ He turned his head to the closed room door and then put his attention back on me. “I just – I love you.â€￾

I watched him walk out of the room to probably find some unknown corner of the hospital to stand around and sulk in. But whatever. I can’t feel bad. I won’t feel sorry for him. It’s him leaving this time. It’s him f***ing up again. It’s not always my fault.

It’s only the air you took, and the breath you left

“Okay,â€￾ I told the silence. I’ll agree to this temporary separation. As long as this isn’t the end.

Here I am once again
I’m torn into pieces
Broken up deep inside
But you won’t get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes

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Postby mtvjunkie » Thu Feb 10, 2005 4:06 pm

:blink: What the HELL are you doing Ashley? This ain't right :nono: Although he has a point :ph34r: He's doing the best he can and shes still kinda half hearted. Just as long as he doesn't do anything during that seperation :unsure:


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Postby Angelpopstar7 » Thu Feb 10, 2005 4:49 pm

AHHH NOOOOO!!! This isn't suppose to be happening! No he's just gonna end up causing her more stress which isn't good....and she needs to tell him about the twins so that hes not the last to find out cause that'll just tick him off even more...ahhh she thinks that shes making the right decisions by not telling him these things...he's getting angry because of the decisions shes making...ahhh why can't they just work things out? They belong together....ahhh i can't handle all of this.... :unsure: MORE PLEASE!

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Postby SiMPLYiNSYNC » Thu Feb 10, 2005 7:15 pm

Ah, sh** she's gonna lose the babies (:yay:) for being miserable and stressed when she and Justin are apart. Jeez, he knows just when to screw up. YOU'RE A PRO, J. :thumbup: <_<

I hope he doesn't screw up during this "seperation" cus Justin and Michelle belong TOGETHER. Not apart/seperated. :nono:

You're the bomb and keep it up! :notworthy:

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Postby Bluechic01 » Thu Feb 10, 2005 7:58 pm

Ugh! NOT AGAIN! Justin, you've gone too far :nono: She's pregnant!

And Renece is disgustingly nice, she reminds me of someone :thinking: She needs to go away. My poor Michelle

And :yay: for twins!! I hope that they can get things together before the babies come, cause that's so not good.

Good job Ash as usual! Keep it up! And update B*TCH!

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Postby BabyBlue2578 » Thu Feb 10, 2005 10:14 pm

<span style='color:gray'>:sprint: Yup, the next one as promised! :D Thank you guys for enjoying it. I hope this one is a little more interesting. Hehe, I'm so excited about the chapters to come! :yay: Anyway, here y'all go! :kiss:</span>

<span style='font-family:bernhardfashion bt'><span style='color:dodgerblue'><span style='font-size:17pt;line-height:100%'>14 - “Wondering When The Call Comesâ€￾</span></span></span>

<span style='color:black'><span style='font-size:10pt;line-height:100%'>“Hello?â€￾

I called
I just

“Hey,â€￾ I said into the phone. “How are you?â€￾

Need to feel you on the line

“Justin, I don’t have time to talk. I have a conference call with people in Hong Kong in about twelve minutes.â€￾

“So you can’t give me two minutes?â€￾ Not too long ago, she would have given me eleven and fifty-nine seconds.


Don’t hang up this time

I looked at Renece, who was sitting across the table from me, encouraging my call with Michelle and I gave her that surrendered look. “All right. Well, gimme a call later if you can.â€￾

And I know it was me who called it over
But I still wish you’d fought me til’ your dying day


Don’t let me get away

As she hung up and I stuffed my phone back into my pocket, I looked down at my plateful of Caesar salad, wishing that that was only the first time that’s happened. “She was busy,â€￾ I finally told Renece. “Again.â€￾

“You sound like you’re givin’ up, man. What’s up?â€￾

“How many times can I call and get the same excuse? Not that I blame her. I left her again,â€￾ I lightly chuckled. “Why should I expect her to wanna talk to me all of a sudden?â€￾

“Yeah, but that was like a couple of weeks ago. She has to be over it by now.â€￾

I gave her an unamused glance and shook my head. If she hasn’t uttered a word since I left the hospital that day, there’s no reason she’s going to up and change her tune. “See, this is why I shouldn’t have listened to you. You don’t know Chelle.â€￾

“Oh, and you do?â€￾ she asked with attitude.

“Better than you do.â€￾

“Then why’d you need my advice?â€￾

I rolled my eyes and stuffed lettuce into my mouth so that I wouldn’t have to answer her. Hell, I didn’t even have an answer. Why did I need the advice of an almost-stranger to Michelle? How did I expect Renece to know what to do when I haven’t figured her out after three years? “I dunno.â€￾

“Well save your outbursts for her,â€￾ she directed. “I didn’t do nothin’ to you.â€￾ She flashed her perfect smile and made her light green eyes twinkle so as to silently inform me that she was joking, and then went back to consuming her own lunch.

“So anyway. Did you ever get to see the final cut of the video?â€￾

“No!â€￾ she realized, washing down her chicken Marsala in white wine. “I didn’t even know that it was done!â€￾

“Yeah, I got a peek at it on Monday. It’s hot,â€￾ I nodded, smiling.

“Why didn’t you tell me!â€￾ she beamed, kicking me. “I can’t wait to see it. Did we look good together?â€￾

“Awesome. I’m glad we got to shoot the scene under the Eiffel Tower before we had to leave.â€￾

“Can you tell that the rest of it is here in LA?â€￾

“Nah, not at all. It’s great. I can’t wait ‘til it premieres.â€￾

“When will that be?â€￾

“The 19th of March on TRL.â€￾

“Ooh, exciting. So is that the next time you’re gonna be in New York?â€￾

“Probably,â€￾ I nodded. “I have to go to my friend Paige’s wedding next week, which is in London, and then I have Ellen’s show on the 17th, so I’ll be back here again. Then, since Chelle is due in April, I’m gonna stay in New York from the 19th on out.â€￾

“Damn, you’re busy. I dunno how you do it,â€￾ she marveled.

“I live for this. I get a rush from being busy, being around fans, and sh** like that. It’s funny, though, because I really didn’t realize how much I loved my job until I didn’t have it to do anymore.â€￾

“Yeah, well you’re gonna have a whole new job description in about a month. You think you’re ready to slow down?â€￾

“I think I’m gonna have to learn how to speed up, don’t you think?â€￾

“True,â€￾ she laughed. “Very true.â€￾

“I can’t wait for fatherhood, though.â€￾

“That’s so cute,â€￾ she grinned.

“I can’t,â€￾ I chuckled. “I’m so excited for my son to get here.â€￾

“I can seriously picture you as the greatest dad in the world. I don’t think Michelle knows just how lucky she is to have you.â€￾

“Yeah, I guess so.â€￾ Or how lucky I was to have her. “She’s gonna be an amazing mother.â€￾

“Have the two of you talked about how crazy it’s gonna be raising a kid on two different coasts? And is she okay with all the paparazzi and stuff with you living in LA?â€￾

“Actually, we haven’t discussed any of that,â€￾ I recognized. “sh**, I picked the wrong time to pack up and leave, huh?â€￾

“It’s okay that you left,â€￾ she averred. “You just can’t let her shut you out because you’re away for a while.â€￾

“Yeah, no sh**. But I already know that. She’s the one that needs to be talked to.â€￾

“Well every time I try, either you or her stops me,â€￾ she joked. “I mean, I know it’s none of my business, but I hate to see you down like this.â€￾

“I’m okay.â€￾

“You always say that. But you never mean it.â€￾

“So you ready to get outta here?â€￾ I asked in a hopeless attempt at switching the subject. The restaurant was getting crowded and I wasn’t really in the mood to be in public anymore.

“You wanna hang out, or are you goin’ back to your house to crawl into some abyss of loneliness and longing for Michelle?â€￾

I couldn’t help but laugh at her weird efforts to make me smile. I don’t think Renece has ever ceased to amaze me. “You’re too funny.â€￾

“Oh, there’s that Timberlake smile! I knew it was hiding back there,â€￾ she grinned back at me. “You should never let anyone or anything take that away from you, J.â€￾

‘Cause I can’t wait to figure out what’s wrong with me
So I can say this is the way that I used to be

“Listen, I have a whole room back at the house that needs painting before the baby gets here. So if you wanna hang out in my abyss of tired ass loneliness, feel free to follow me home.â€￾

“Yeah, I’ll be glad to go and get lost in the sea of photographers out there.â€￾

“It’s a date then.â€￾

“Yeah, just don’t forget to let me through your gates.â€￾

“Well, I tend to lose most of the paparazzi by the time I get to Mulholland Drive, so you should be good.â€￾

“Oh, that’s very comforting,â€￾ she winked, rising from the table with me. “So I’ll see you in a few.â€￾

Well, I guess it beats being alone.

We share the sadness

Painting the nursery – well, the room in my house, adjacent to my own bedroom that I had picked out for the baby – proved to be a more difficult task than I’d anticipated. We had more wall space than actual paint, so running back and forth to Home Depot trying to get the perfect shade of baby blue was more time-consuming and tiring than fun. But like all things Renece, she managed to turn it into a good time.

By midnight, both of us were stretched across the hardwood floors of the newly decorated room, inhaling the paint fumes that came along with our fatigue. “I can’t thank you enough,â€￾ I managed to get out, staring at the stark white ceiling. “This never would’ve gotten done without you.â€￾

“Ah, don’t mention it. Anything for you.â€￾

“You’re too good to me,â€￾ I sighed. I sat up and stared at the kick ass job we just did, if I do say so myself. “You hungry? Thirsty? Anything?â€￾ We had ordered a pizza around eight o’clock, but the satisfaction of that could’ve easily worn off a few hours ago, so I thought I’d ask.

“I’m fine.â€￾

“You sure?â€￾

“Yeah. Unless you want something?â€￾

I love how she just offered me a refreshment in my own house. “Actually, I could use some more pizza.â€￾ And I love how I just accepted her offer.

“Then I’m right behind ya,â€￾ she grinned, doing her best to rise from the floor.

“You know, for a dancer, you sure are lazy,â€￾ I intimated, seeing her struggle to stand.

“You can say that sh** again,â€￾ she laughed, grabbing my outstretched hand. “God, I’m so sore!â€￾

We trudged the seventeen steps from upstairs to downstairs and hit the kitchen. I slightly shivered when the cool air from the lower level of the house hit my bare feet and turned up the thermostat as I passed it at the staircase. “I’m so sleepy,â€￾ I commented, entering the kitchen and grabbing the cold leftover pizza from the Papa John’s box. “You sure you don’t want a slice?â€￾

“Nah,â€￾ she declined, hopping onto the black, marble countertop and taking a big swig of Sprite straight from the two-liter bottle.

My eyes widened at the bit of skin that was revealed when her tight-fitting Juicy t-shirt lifted while she downed the last of the soda. “So,â€￾ I started nervously, taking a bite of my cold pizza, “umm, it’s gettin’ kinda late. So if you wanted me to escort you home, I could.â€￾

“I’m a big girl,â€￾ she smiled. “That’s not necessary.â€￾

Damn, it’s been three years since I’ve made a genuine effort at this whole flirting thing. I was failing miserably. “Fair enough.â€￾

“But if you wanna take me home, that’s cool, too.â€￾

“Yeah, not really.â€￾

“I didn’t think so.â€￾

“But you can also stay over if you want, too. If you’re anywhere near as tired as I am, I’m sure you don’t feel like driving.â€￾

“Well, considering you keep looking at me like you’re about to swallow me whole, that’s probably not the best idea.â€￾ She hopped down from the counter and lightly patted the side of my face. “I’m gonna get on outta here, J.â€￾

Figures. Not that I really want anything more from Renece than mere companionship, but I don’t want her to leave. Even if watching her ass bounce around in those tight ass jeans is making me horny as hell. “Why?â€￾

“‘Cause it’s late, you’re tired, I’m tired; your dick is about to slap me in the face,â€￾ she acknowledged with a light laugh, staring down at my jogging pants. “I just think it’s best if I go and save us an awkward moment or two in a couple of hours.â€￾

I’m glad she’s my friend, ‘cause this entire situation – not only this erection, but the conversation accompanying it – would otherwise be a huge point of embarrassment for me. Luckily, we’ve danced closely enough for this not to be the first time. “Hey, it’s been a while,â€￾ I laughed.

“I understand. It’s been a while for me, too. Which is why I should probably go.â€￾

You’re killin’ me, Renece. “If you must.â€￾

“Don’t be so glum, chum. You are this close,â€￾ she indicated, holding her thumb and index finger about half an inch apart, “from being a dad, a super superstar, and maybe even a husband someday. I’m not about to be the one to f*** that up, homie.â€￾

You’ve gotta be kidding me. First woman I show a significant interest in since meeting Michelle and she turns out to be loyal. “Why are you so awesome?â€￾

“I dunno. I just don’t want that cliché ‘Whore of a Dancer’ title on my resumé, I guess.â€￾

And Michelle said that she had an ulterior motive. “You would have to turn out to be one of the good ones, huh?â€￾

“Yeah, but I like to think that you’re in that category, too. Don’t prove me wrong,â€￾ she winked, wrinkling her nose in a way that reminded me more of Michelle than I cared to admit. “I’m one of the millions that are pulling for you two.â€￾

“Okay, get outta here before I’m forced to chain you to my bed and bang your f***in’ back out,â€￾ I laughed.

“Oh, maybe in another life. But in this one, you belong to Michelle Alexander, so go back to her, aight?â€￾

I nodded and poked at her bare belly button. “I’ll try.â€￾

“I’ll see you on tour, dude.â€￾ She picked up her big pink purse from the other end of the counter and exited the current drama that is my life, stage right, heading out of the back door.

Once I heard the beep-beep-beep of the alarm, I was once again hit by the fact that I was miserably stuck in my deep chasm of desolation and isolation.

So I’ll check the weather wherever you are
‘Cause I wanna know if you can see the stars all right
It might be my only right

Perhaps it’s just me, but when JC sings that ‘the days go by and things get better,’ I foolishly expect for it to happen. I get this hope in the pit of my stomach that life won’t be nearly as hard as it seems when I wake up the next morning. I find myself awaiting the moment where I feel just a little less sorry for myself and a little more optimistic about the near future. But somehow, I’m still alone and wondering where did it all go wrong? And I have to ask myself why that had to be the part of the song that I so closely identified with.

In frustration, I turned from the DVD of JC’s most recent tour that played in my dressing room, annoyed by the pandemonium that he caused, even though, in most cases, I had the same effect. I dunno why, but things like that have just bugged me lately. I should’ve been in a good mood – I mean, I was on the frickin’ Ellen Degeneres Show. But I just couldn’t get into it. I just sat there, waiting to be brought out and praying for something to change.

“Okay, so. My next guest has been here, like I dunno, twelve million times now. He needs no introduction, but I’ll give him one anyway. Please welcome Justin Timberlake!â€￾

As my good friend Ellen did her rendition of my introduction on her number one talk show, I got those familiar in-front-of-an-audience butterflies, but I straightened my collar on my blue and white shirt, glanced at my dark denim jeans and plastered that smile on my face to head out and face the crowd. I smiled wider when I spotted Ellen dancing to my entrance soundtrack and mouthing the words to ‘Don’t Stop Til’ You Get Enough’. I danced in accompaniment towards where she stood on the stage and grabbed her hand to spin her around a couple of times.

“Don’t let me fall,â€￾ she laughed over the music.

“I got you,â€￾ I reassured her, still moving to the beat. We did our usual routine of wasting two or three minutes to groove before taking our seats on the colorful pastel set. “I always get a good workout when I come here.â€￾

“You’re like my little dancing b****,â€￾ she nodded, forcing the audience to laugh animatedly. “You should stop by more often.â€￾

“Well, you know I would, but I’ve been in New York for the past few months, so I couldn’t just drop in anymore.â€￾

“That sucks, Justin. You know, actually, New York sucks, now that I mention it.â€￾

“I know,â€￾ I nodded. “It’s just terrible.â€￾

“Famous people like us prefer LA, you know.â€￾ She laughed because I’m sure she knew how ridiculous she sounded, but continued to speak. “No, I’m kidding. New York is a great city.â€￾

“It is a great city.â€￾

“So why were you hiding there for a couple of months?â€￾

I laughed at her frankness. It was always so refreshing. “I dunno. I think I needed to put a few things in perspective and get away from the world for a while, if that makes any sense.â€￾

“Actually, that makes no sense, Justin.â€￾

I did one of the tiltcha-head-back laughs and looked at the audience with no clue as to how in the hell I was gonna get through this interview if I was gonna laugh at every turn.

“I mean, I don’t know about you guys, but if I need perspective, I can do it my own house. What were you really doing, Justin?â€￾

It’s hopeless. “You know what. I don’t know.â€￾

“So you were just wasting time while we were waiting for your album?â€￾

“I–,â€￾ I began to defend myself, but I had to stop and laugh again. She is seriously insane and I love it. “Yeah, I was wasting time.â€￾

“Well no, what were you really doing?â€￾

“Well my girlfr– my– well, Michelle. Y’all know who Michelle is, right?â€￾

“Yes, she’s your gorgeous girlfriend,â€￾ Ellen acknowledged while the immensely loud audience clapped in agreement. “Your Michelle what?â€￾

“She’s having a baby. So we were in New York playing house while we waited for him,â€￾ I grinned.

She gave me that Ellen smile and raised her hand to signal one of her runners. “No, I knew that because, maybe you didn’t know this, but we have all these lovely pictures of you two together,â€￾ she informed me, picking up her cardboard cutouts of our out-and-about shots. There was one picture of the two of us leaving the airport back in January; a couple of shots from random doctors appointments; and one from us leaving a restaurant in midtown.

“Wow. Where do you get this stuff?â€￾ I asked, studying the candid shots.

“Oh, well see if I told you that, then I’d have to kill you.â€￾

“Oh, okay. You can keep your secret then.â€￾

“You’re so cute together, though.â€￾ She pulled the picture of me helping Chelle into the car and showed the camera. “Look at that.â€￾

“Thank you,â€￾ I nodded, while the audience Awwed. “I appreciate that.â€￾

“Well, you’re welcome. But so, we know that the two of you have been busy with your huge careers and everything, so we thought we’d give you a head start on stuff. Houston, are you all set up?â€￾ She winked and diverted her happy blue eyes to whatever was appearing behind me.

I turned just in time to see a Shaq-size bundle of diapers rolling in my direction. “Are you serious?â€￾ I asked, clapping in utter amusement. I leaned into the arm of the chair to gawk at the huge package beside me while the audience cheered happily. “You are seriously awesome,â€￾ I laughed.

“Hey, I’m workin’ for ya. We’ve got the giant box of wipes and baby powder in the back.â€￾

“You are funny,â€￾ I chuckled over the noise. “I dunno – I’m not sure if anyone’s ever told you, but you... are hilarious.â€￾

“No, I’ve never heard that before in my life,â€￾ she smiled.

“Well, you are.â€￾

“No, I know. But you deserve that and so much more. I love you. I love Michelle. And I wish you guys all the best with your new baby. Do you know her due date?â€￾

“Umm, April... 4th?â€￾

“Well don’t ask me.â€￾

“Yes, April 4th.â€￾

“All right, if you say so. So about three weeks, huh?â€￾


“And then the album comes out when?â€￾

“May 29th.â€￾

“And what’s it called?â€￾

“Dude, did you do any research?â€￾ I laughed.

“Well I know everything, but they need to know so they can buy it,â€￾ she informed me, pointing to the camera. “‘Cause of course I’m getting my copy for free.â€￾

“Of course,â€￾ I smiled. “Well the album is called Second Chance.â€￾


“Because I want one.â€￾

“But you got a first chance. And you did so well.â€￾

“And I want a second chance to do just as well.â€￾

“Okay, you’re just being greedy now.â€￾

“Yeah, we–.â€￾

“How dare you,â€￾ she interjected in that signature teasing way.

“I’m – you know what? I am being greedy. You’re right.â€￾

“So tell me, Justin. Why is your new song so depressing?â€￾

She caught me by surprise, so my reaction was kind of delayed. “What?â€￾

“Your song – ‘Hello.’ It’s so depressing.â€￾

“It’s depressing?â€￾

“Well, I think so.â€￾ She laughed and looked at the audience in that way that asked what she said that was so funny. “I mean, I love it, but still.â€￾

“It’s not depressing.â€￾

“Oh, I beg to differ.â€￾

“Did you listen to the words?â€￾

“I would have, but I was too busy trying to dance to it, Justin.â€￾

I chuckled because I knew she was going to say something crazy like that. “No, listen to it,â€￾ I instructed, clearing my throat. “I’ve been trying to push up next to you all night. But I’ve got to wait on a moment for me that’s right. And I don’t wanna sound like those other guys, but what if I never have another chance to, to tell you just how you make me feel? And I just gotta let you know,â€￾ I sung to her, smiling as her face turned a bashful shade of pink and the audience clapped to the silent beat. “You softly kill me with just your mere words Hello. This may sound a bit crazy, but lady, I just wanted you to know. You strangely seduced me with just the way you say Hello. This may sound quite forward, but honey, is there somewhere we can go?â€￾

I finished my serenade, and she playfully fanned herself with one hand while utilizing the other to take huge gulps of water from her coffee mug that sat across from us on the table. “Okay, so it’s not depressing.â€￾

“I told you,â€￾ I laughed. “I can teach you how to dance to it, too, if you want.â€￾

“No, you’ve done quite enough.â€￾

“You sure?â€￾ I asked, standing from my seat.

“We can kick it at the end of the show.â€￾

“Hey, it’s your show.â€￾

“That’s right, so sit down.â€￾

Laughing, I reclaimed my seat while she glowingly stared at me. “What?â€￾ I asked.


“Why are you looking at me like that?â€￾

“Because you’re just so cute.â€￾

“Well, thank you.â€￾

“I hope you don’t mind, but we have to take a break.â€￾

“I don’t mind at all,â€￾ I smiled.

“Good. ‘Cause I just wanted you to know. We’ll be right back with Justin,â€￾ she said to the camera. The audience was cued to applause and I did the same while smiling obliviously at people in front of me. “I heard you were at Paige and Jude’s wedding,â€￾ she whispered under the clapping audience.

“Yeah,â€￾ I nodded. “It was great. Beautiful wedding.â€￾

“Yeah. I was there in spirit, but some of us have jobs to do.â€￾

“I could feel your presence,â€￾ I laughed. “I just worked my job around it.â€￾

“Yeah. I don’t really have that luxury.â€￾

“Of course you do. It’s your show,â€￾ I reminded her with a chuckle, as random interns refilled our coffee mugs and touched up our makeup. “Just tell ‘em to slap on a rerun and bounce.â€￾

“You could never have a talk show,â€￾ she stated, jokingly. “What kind of work ethic is that?â€￾

“Hold that thought,â€￾ I replied, feeling the vibration of my Sidekick on my hip. I flipped it open to find a message from JC’s cell that simply stated: 911. That was it. That was the code. It was really happening. I sent him a quick message back that asked if he was sure and immediately got the response that he was very sure and that I had to get moving. The countdown to being back on air commenced so I threw the two-way into my jeans’ pocket and smiled nervously, patting my perspiring forehead.

“You okay?â€￾ Ellen asked. I nodded and stared at the cheering audience and rolling camera before us. “Welcome back,â€￾ she smiled. “I’m sitting here with Justin Timberlake and we’re talking about your awesome album. So I’ve been meaning to ask you, Justin, what’s your favorite song on the album?â€￾

“Umm.â€￾ What was I supposed to do? If I left one of my closest friends’ show smack dab in the middle of it, what was she gonna do? But I couldn’t just sit there acting like I didn’t get the message. To my chagrin, I got the balls to suddenly switch subjects and announce, “I have to go.â€￾

“Oh, but we’re just getting started,â€￾ she laughed, playing off her confusion.

“I know. And I’m so sorry, but I have to go.â€￾

“Am I boring you that much?â€￾

“No, no, nothing like that. It’s just that I really have to go. I’m having a baby.â€￾

The audience began to clap, skeptically while Ellen stared at me in surprise. “Are you serious?â€￾

Nervously, I nodded while the applause got louder. “Yeah, I just got the message that she went into labor.â€￾

“Oh, my goodness! Well, go! What are you sitting around here for?â€￾

I popped up from my seat with the widest smile I’m sure my cheeks could handle. “Really?â€￾

“Yes!â€￾ She stood up with me to give me a quick hug. “Go!â€￾

“I’m so sorry,â€￾ I whispered. “I’ll come back anytime you want.â€￾

“I know you will. But now, you have to go! Get out of here!â€￾

I did a light-hearted salute to the crowd that remained clapping until I exited the set and was rushed out of Warner Bros. studio to an awaiting car, soon to be pelted onto a private jet and thrust into fatherhood. This was it. There was no turning back; no giving up; no walking away until things got better. This was happening, whether I was ready or not. Here he comes.

There’s no substitute for time</span></span>

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Postby Bluechic01 » Thu Feb 10, 2005 11:33 pm

:yay: The babies are coming! THE BABY ARE COMING!!! I can't be anymore happier! :D

And man, I love Ellen ^_^ . She's adorable :wub: I wish I were on that show :lol:
And the jumbo box of baby stuff was hilarious :rofl: Man I love her.

And as much as I hate to admit it, I love Renece. She's so nice, and I'm so glad Justin didn't let his dick overpower his love for Michelle. So :yay: for that. Can't wait til the babies get here :crossfingers: They're gonna be parents! :hug:

Awesome chap as usual my dear. Update soon!

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Postby SiMPLYiNSYNC » Fri Feb 11, 2005 12:05 am

:o The babies, the BABIES!!!!

Renece is such a sweetheart. Yeah, I love her now.

Ellen's awesome. I want her to adopt me.NOW. :lol: She's utterly hilarious.

AHH, I CAN'T WAIT FOR THE PRECIOUS BABIES TO COME! I can't wait to find out what they name them. Eee, I can't wait. :lol: Oh yeah, you better not hit us with a chapter where something goes haywire cus if you do then..... :cry:

You never cease to amaze me. ;)

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Postby laura » Fri Feb 11, 2005 4:23 am

oooooohhhh! is it wrong that i cant contain my excitement??im practically giddy here! and its not even 9am!!! c this is the effect ya have n me!!!!!! does he know bout the two babies???? no does he??? welll yay in any event!!!! aw this is way too good for words.....except i wanna hug ya for this!!!!! i hope he doesnt miss it!!!!!! still cant believe this is the "last" story with these two!!!! so not fair...i love em so....!

UPDATE!!!!!!!!!!!! :lol: :wub: :wub: :wub: :wub: :wub: :wub: :wub:

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Postby whatchagot4meMRJT » Fri Feb 11, 2005 11:15 am

Renece is toooo nice. That girl has really won me over. I'm impressed! She could have totally had sex with Justin, but I knew that she had too much respect for herself, and for him to do such a thing, so I'm glad that she proved my thinking to be correct. That would've been an all around bad move on both of their parts.

I loved the interview with Ellen. Loved the authenticity of the dialogue. I could imagine watching the episode and hearing both of them say exactly what was written in this chapter. :nod:

:o BABIES ON THE WAY! :yay: This is very exciting. Nothing bad better happen or else I'll be crushed. :cry: :cry: But, I'm going with the theme of positivity, and everything is going to go perfectly. :nod: :nod:

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Postby mtvjunkie » Fri Feb 11, 2005 2:58 pm

Justin sucks :no: He could have easily screwed it all up again, he "had" to break up with her and then he almost goes sneaking around behind his baby momma's back :nono: What is wrong with him? Hormones getting to him too? ;)

Yay for the babies coming, I assume that's what's going on :shrug: Hopefully the birth(s) will bring the two together even for a moment. And I can't wait for Justin's reaction to there being two Timbertots ^_^ Maybe he'll realise that he was being a kinda arsehole.

:rofl: I knew you'd never paint Ellen in anything other than a perfect light Ash, but then again that stuff sounded like authentic dialogue so I can't really fault you I suppose :lol:

Anyways, update again pretty please? :kiss:

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Postby justins bubbles » Fri Feb 11, 2005 3:11 pm

<span style='color:blue'>I still think Renece is a ho. <_<

:lol: Just kidding. She's cool. I'd chill w/ her. :P

AHH! Babies! And they still don't know that its plural! :lol: This was a good chapter and it got me excited for chapters to come as well. :nod: Now, since you inspired me (and I don't have homework for the first time in ever!) I'm off to do you know what. :D

Oh. I just hope that Michelle doesn't let go. This chapter more than any other wanted me to break out John so bad. But he's in my car! :yell: Damn. And you know I'm not about to get off my lazy ass to get it. </span>

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Postby Angelpopstar7 » Fri Feb 11, 2005 4:28 pm

dang that was one long a s s update but you know i didn't mind at all :rofl:

Renece dang...that girl is just killing me with her kindness....at first i wasn't too sure about her but i just seem to be loving her more and more with every single chapter...she easily could have had some Timberass but she chose not to :wub: them painting the babies room reminds me of my dad and I painting our house this summer :no: at least i didn't step in the paint container this time :rofl:

The interview with Ellen :wub: :wub: :wub: the interview sounded exactly as she would act too thats whats soo scary lol....shes awesome who wouldn't love her? and the pile of diapers and wipes...they're gonna need those for sure....just about every 2 hours you gotta change that diaper :rofl: i can just picture justins face when he has to change his first #2 diaper :rofl: :rofl:

The babies are coming :yay: awww i'm soo freakin excited over that....seriously i'm like giddy :rofl: i can't wait to see how things go....hopefully they won't screw things up between themselves again and the babies will be able to bring them together....i wonder if J knows about it being twins yet :unsure: if not, hes in for the surprise of his life :nod: he'd be like "what the f u c k there's another one coming out. Chelle stop making them pop out" :rofl: ok imma stop now :rofl:


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Postby JTnTN » Fri Feb 11, 2005 6:52 pm

Oh, I've missed so much! First off, I'm mad as hell that you had the nerve to go and break them up AGAIN. I mean, Justin's right cus the b**** did lie to him AGAIN. But Chelle is right too. Leaving her never makes anything better. :nono: What if she loses the babies?! Dude, oh Ash you can't do that. You're not gonna go there are you? I'll die if something happens to the little bambinos. :lonely:

I feel bad for her, too cus she was so excited about telling him about the twins. :no: Ugh, if he would just shut UP, she could've gotten that beautiful news out, they'd be all elated and then no one would've had to break up at all. <_< It could all be so simple... Oh well. I guess it'll be okay in the end. RIGHT? :D

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