Our Love Was...

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justins bubbles
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Postby justins bubbles » Fri Feb 25, 2005 9:03 pm

<span style='color:blue'>Okay, so yeah. Here it is. I hope you like it. :D </span>

<span style='color:gray'> Heartbreak is something everyone should only experience once. No more and especially no less. That one time is enough to keep your feet planted on the ground and sometimes, its as much as anyone can take. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, right? Pain is weakness leaving the body? Bullsh**. The kind of pain love brings makes you nothing but bitter and cynical. If that’s strength, I’m f***ing Superwoman.

Please, don’t misinterpret my understandings. Please date. Please have great times. Just realize not every time is going to lead to this kind of heartbreak I talk about. Of course, you may feel the sentiment of rejection, the loneliness is basically a default and who really likes to feel that another person just walked away, totally unaffected by you? Not me. This is not the love I talk about. I am talking of a love that is so wrong, so un-pure and so… so f***ing comfortable that you really don’t know what to do with yourself.

As you sit there, you must be wondering who the hell I am. However, I will not disclose any information. I have no name. I have no face. Maybe according to some of you, I have no heart or no sense of hearing screaming cries of reconciliation. Yet, you know me. You know me so well that I bet you have wanted to be me more than once. But let me tell you, it’s not all it’s cut out to be.

It all happened last September. I woke up next to his lanky body so peaceful, so dorky, so perfect. For someone who had been so skeptical about life, he made me believe good things do happen in this world. He was one of them and he happened to me.

I decided to go to the gym that morning. For what reason, I don’t know. He had fallen in love with the extra pudge that had developed on my middle over the two years we had been together. He said it was a sign of being comfortable and content. I, on the other hand, still felt fat.

Rolling out of bed, I just grabbed the keys and headed to the gym without so much as washing my face. I didn’t even really care about brushing my teeth. I was just going to jog on the treadmill for about ten minutes, then go back home to fall right back into my rightful place by his sleeping side in bed.

I loved watching him sleep. His plump lips were always parted just enough that I could hold them in my lips individually if I wanted. The way his long eyelashes fluttered made my heart flutter as well. But the best thing of all was how he would always reach out for me, just to make sure I was still there. I was always there.

After I returned from the gym, I found that he had awakened and was now in the shower. I saw his blurred nude silhouette behind the shower door and after stripping off my own clothes I decided to join him. Wrapping my arms around the front of his waist, I pressed my body into his, hugging him tightly. He turned around and gave me the most unforgettable kiss. It wasn’t an “I love youâ€￾ kiss. It wasn’t a “let’s f***â€￾ kiss. It was a “you are what I’ve been waiting for, this is foreverâ€￾ kiss. Needless to say, that kiss did lead to a few “I love you’sâ€￾ and a few more f***s. Life was great.

It seems that was the last perfect day I spent with him. It’s the last I remember, anyway.

The following morning I went to the gym again. I didn’t want to leave him, but I did. The car ride to the gym was a little eerie; the sky was gray and murky. It was early, 7 a.m., and I was usually one of the ten insane people awake and working out at that hour. I walked in and headed straight for the same machine I used everyday: third from the right. But today, someone else was already using it. I dismissed it, and decided to go to another. No big deal, right? I wish.

The stranger was tall, dark and obviously a businessman. His hair was trimmed short, face uniform and neat. He was everything my John wasn’t. As I slowly started my jog, he looked over at me numerous times. I acted as if I didn’t see him, but I did. His gazes continued, 3, 4, 5 minutes into my jog. Finally, I looked over to see the true face of temptation. He smiled the smile and that twinkle in his eye was right on cue. Go ahead, sit there and tell me you have never seen him. I know you’re lying.

His name was Chance. How ironic, huh? He introduced himself after my ten minutes was up and was heading to my car. I am going to make a very long story short. I really don’t like to relive the next moments anyway. They did in fact f*** up my perfect ending.

His introduction led to coffee. That coffee led to breakfast. Somewhere breakfast led to lunch and that lunch… that was the one where everything stopped being wrong. Chance and I ended up back at his very expensive apartment between his very expensive sheets. All the while, I kept thinking, “He’s not John. This isn’t John’s touch, smell… place. This isn’t Chance’s place to love me.â€￾ I left immediately and headed back to our own apartment. I cried and cried. I showered and showered. No matter what I did, I couldn’t take anything back. I had just tarnished the most permanent, perfect, undeniable thing I would ever have.

Later that night, I headed down to Eddie’s Attic to watch John perform. He lit up the stage although he’d never admit. He wouldn’t even want to hear it. He just wanted to play his music, to tell his story. When he saw me arrive, he rushed to me and embraced me tightly. I wanted nothing more than to cry into him right there. I prayed silently that his one single hug would erase time and give me a clean slate. But as he pulled back and kissed my lips, I knew it hadn’t. I had still hurt him more than he would know.

“I wrote the next one for you,â€￾ he said after our kiss. He wrote a lot for me. Sitting at the foot of the bed, on the side of the bathtub, at the kitchen table or in front of the TV were places where he played for me. Each song made me love him that much more… so much more it hurt to know that I was this happy. But what hurt even more was hurting him. He didn’t deserve this.

His tall frame rested back on stage and his callused fingers began to play his guitar. I watched as he told the people around us about my weird insecurities and made them sound okay. I could only wish they were. That night I held him tighter than usual, knowing at some point I would have to let him go. I cried to him that night. He asked what was wrong so that he could fix it, but knowing he couldn’t, I said I just needed to cry. My John let me. He let me cry to him for hours for no known reason. The next morning I called into work and stayed with him until he left for his own job. That’s when I started packing.

I packed everything I could. By the time he arrived home, the only remaining thing of me was me. I sat at watched as he looked around confused and scared. I cried as I saw his own tears form and as he fell to his knees in front of me. His painful questions of what he did wrong broke my heart. As I held his crying eyes in my arms, I told him he did nothing but give me everything I could ever want. I told him that I needed to leave because I didn’t deserve him anymore and whatever went wrong couldn’t be fixed. I never told him what happened. I didn’t want to. I still haven’t admitted to myself that it occurred. Call me selfish, but I didn’t want him to hate me. I didn’t want him to leave me. And I couldn’t bear living without telling him.

I never saw Chance again, not that I planned to. John never found out. I seldom talk to him. I think of him always. I remember the times we were fun, crazy… well you know what I’m talking about. I think about those rainy weekends I would spend in his sweats or the parties we didn’t want to go to. He was the only person to ever tell me I was perfect. He almost made me believe it.

I hope you have figured out who I am. I also hope that your wishes of being me evaporated. As I said, it’s not all that great. But yeah, that was the love I speak of. The love that was so comfortable and so broken in.

Hmm. I just remembered that time at the market… I want it back.
</span>

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Postby JTnTN » Fri Feb 25, 2005 9:18 pm

:wub: :wub: :wub: :wub: :wub: :wub: :wub:

I'm mad that this is all I get. And I feel stupid typing this as I'm talking to you, but DAMN ho. That was freakin' awesome and then some. Short and sweet. I like the whole anonymity factor behind it and the lack of dialogue. It makes it that much more personal. And I do know about that comfortable love that's just so damn hard to let go of. And now, I'm gonna shut the hell up before I depress myself. :lol:

Magnificent job, SharBear. I think you did the Mayer justice times ten. His lanky, dorky ass would be proud. And if he's not... well then I love it enough for both of us. :D

Now do it again. Write me another one! ^_^ :kiss:

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whatchagot4meMRJT
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Postby whatchagot4meMRJT » Fri Feb 25, 2005 9:29 pm

AHHH! I'm reading this bright and early tomorrow morning. I just know I'm gonna love it, so yay for me. :yay: I think we need a Mayer short story every week until we get some new music. Cuz you can never have too much John in this life. :nerd:

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Postby PreCiouSbAbY » Sat Feb 26, 2005 12:17 am

<span style='color:purple'><span style='font-family:Arial'>I completely, and utterly ADORE this story. Sharry, you have to keep writing!!! I am so psyched, so update soon!!!</span></span>

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Postby mtvjunkie » Sat Feb 26, 2005 8:32 am

:notworthy: :notworthy:


:clap: Awesome job Sharry, and so heartbreaking too, poor John :( :hug: I agree with Jordin, the lack of dialogue actually adds to the story and this:
His painful questions of what he did wrong broke my heart.
broke my heart too, damn it.

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whatchagot4meMRJT
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Postby whatchagot4meMRJT » Sat Feb 26, 2005 8:54 am

Dang! That made me soooo sad for John. :( But you know what, it also made me sad for this girl for messing up her perfect, comfortable, lovely relationship. Why did Chance have to make those googly-oogly sex eyes at her? Aren't John's cracked out heroin eyes enough to keep her for life? :lol: I know they have that mesmerizing effect on me. ;) I dunno ... temptation is a b****! :shrug:

This John fiction needs to be a regular occurence with you, Miss Bubs. You've really got John's character down pat. And I just know you've been patting him down ( ;) ) to make sure that every nuance is correct. Go feel on him some more and write me another story.

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Postby JT Fan Girl » Sat Feb 26, 2005 1:26 pm

I went and got 'Comfortable' so I could it have it playing along in the background. That was just AWESOME! :wub:

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Postby whatchagot4meMRJT » Sat Feb 26, 2005 1:28 pm

Dammit, I've been singing "Comfortable" nonstop because of this story. :lol: And I too don't think I'll ever get to hear it live at one of my concerts. :lonely:

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Postby JT Fan Girl » Sat Feb 26, 2005 1:36 pm

He'll damn well play it if I EVER get my hands on him. :lol:

Aww, I LOVED this story... it made me sad though, kind of like Closer actually. I loved that film but it had this lasting bummed out effect on me. :lol:

Anyway MORE John stories please! :P

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justins bubbles
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Postby justins bubbles » Sat Feb 26, 2005 6:14 pm

<span style='color:blue'>Thank you! Thank you! :blowkiss: And I promised no more stories until I get LTAR up. :lol:</span>

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Postby SiMPLYiNSYNC » Sun Feb 27, 2005 5:11 pm

:o Wow. I feel so bad for John. They had the most perfect relationship and BOOM! it's over `cause of whatshisname. That was incredible. I hope to see some more Mayer fics coming our way. ;)

You're awesome, just so freakin` awesome.

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Postby lancesgrl » Tue Mar 01, 2005 6:00 pm

oh BUBS!! :wub: that was incredible. the first couple of paragraphs, i was thinking... "omg! the description is brilliant!!!" that was definitely some of your very very best stuff, my friend. :nod: absolutely brilliant. (i sound like simon cowell - LOL!) :lol:

i know you said you wouldn't do more till after you finished the other fic, so i won't ask.... but after you're done.... maybe??? :please: :P

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Postby jts_senorita » Tue Mar 01, 2005 11:22 pm

Wow.. That was absoloutely Beautiful... :wub: Sad, but beautiful. And very moving. It made my heart actually ache reading it. (Oh God, I'm corny.) But it makes me so sad that she just left. And especially that she never told him why. I think he maybe even would have stayed with her if he knew. As long as he knew how sorry she was.. Or even if he did leave at least he would know it wasn't his fault. But anyways. Awesome, beautiful story. I love your short ones. They pack in so much power and emotion. Keep writing!

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Postby J » Wed Mar 09, 2005 5:21 pm

Okay, Bubs, I started reading this because you weren't updating the other one.... then I find that you won't continue this one until you finish the other one... YOU ARE SO MEAN!!!!! I need your writing.... it's like an oasis in my boiler room day..... :unsure:

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justins bubbles
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Postby justins bubbles » Wed Mar 09, 2005 5:47 pm

<span style='color:blue'> :unsure: I don't know how many of you think this, but... this is just a one parter. It's done. :unsure: </span>

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J
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Postby J » Wed Mar 09, 2005 6:52 pm

Okay, I can deal with that, given it's so awesomely written. Thanks Bubs! :P

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Postby PreCiouSbAbY » Sat Mar 12, 2005 11:15 pm

<span style='font-family:Arial'><span style='color:purple'>I realized it after I read everybody's replies. I feel dumb now. I thought it was longer... :ph34r: but it was still good! Im just bummed, cause I just want to read more of it cause it was so great. </span></span>

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justins bubbles
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Postby justins bubbles » Tue Mar 22, 2005 12:50 pm

<span style='color:blue'>ASHLEY!! READ!! :yell:</span>

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Postby BabyBlue2578 » Tue May 31, 2005 3:36 pm

<span style='color:blueviolet'>:wave: Here I am, three months late. That makes me special, though. ^_^

Sharry, that was simply amazing. I know this isn't saying much because I'm a dork and I cry about everything, but I got through maybe the first two paragraphs and already had tears running down my eyes. The voice you used to tell this story was just so honest and brilliantly heartbreaking. And the fact that I'm sitting here feeling more sorry for her than I am him, well... it says a lot. :lol:

As a Backstreet Boy once said, "Sadness is beautiful. Loneliness is tragical." Tragical isn't exactly a word, but it describes it all so well. :lonely: The lonesomeness and desolation that I felt at the end. Ahhh, it was perfect.

I hope this is the first thing you upload when you join the Tastes of Eden family. ^_^ And you definitely need to hit us with another one of these sometime in the near future. We need somethin' to hold us over in the two-month time span between updates of LTAR. :lol: :P Awesome, Bubs. :kiss:</span>

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Postby whatchagot4meMRJT » Wed Jun 01, 2005 9:35 am

I had to read it again. :nerd: I miss John. :lonely:

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Postby J » Wed Jun 01, 2005 11:35 am

I just read it again too Paige (it is Paige right?) I miss John and I miss SharBear's writing.... :cry:

J

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whatchagot4meMRJT
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Postby whatchagot4meMRJT » Wed Jun 01, 2005 12:21 pm

Yup, it is Paige, my dear. :kiss:

Sharry, hit us with some more Mayer shorties. :blink: :lol:

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Postby justins bubbles » Wed Jun 01, 2005 1:05 pm

<span style='color:blue'>I might have to... Although it may make me sad. I was just telling Nayer that I am having some major John withdrawls. :lonely:</span>


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